Zane shook his head. “I should have told her. She told me her shit. I should have told her mine. I didn’t. I fucked up.” And now he was paying the price. “I need to go.”

  “Zane—”

  “Thanks for driving down, Ethan.” He dropped into his car and slammed the door.

  He almost expected to find a group of people at his gym. Maybe some more spray paint on the building. There was none of that. It was quiet.

  He stepped inside and moved straight to a bag.

  He needed to hit something like he needed to breathe. It took him seconds to drop his bag, pull off his shirt and shoes, and wrap his hands. Then he started hitting leather. Pounding the shit out of it like it was the only fucking thing allowing him to breathe.

  The reporter, Monty…it was like a fucking shitstorm he couldn’t escape.

  He’d been at the bag for a good thirty minutes when the door opened. He turned to see Stetson step into the gym, phone in hand.

  Stetson frowned at him. “Hey. I, uh, read the article.”

  “And?”

  “Is it true?”

  “Part of it.”

  Stetson’s frown deepened, and for a moment he seemed to think about it. Finally, he nodded. “Okay. I’m gonna put my bag in the changing room.”

  “Stet.”

  He turned back to him. “Yeah, boss?”

  “You’re okay?”

  “Yeah.” That was it. That was all he said.

  When Stetson left, Zane turned back to the bag. But before throwing another hit, he pulled out his phone. He should give her time. He knew he should.

  He couldn’t.

  Zane: Please. Just give me a chance to explain.

  He dropped his phone. The ball was in her court now.

  CHAPTER 16

  Bonnie frowned at the text message from Zane. It was the third in the last three days. And she hadn’t responded to any of them.

  She swallowed as she glanced up at the exterior of her aunt Pam’s house.

  It wasn’t that she thought Zane was a cold-blooded murderer. She didn’t. Sure, when she’d first read the article, her gut reaction had been shock and fear. But when that wore off, she’d remembered that this was Zane. The man who’d defended her time and again. Who’d let her climb into his bed when she was scared. Who’d held her when she hadn’t been able to sleep.

  He wasn’t a murderer.

  But he’d also omitted a huge part of his life from her after she’d shared so much of hers. And maybe it all hurt more because she’d slept with him. Not just slept with him…started falling in love with him.

  A knock on the car window had her jumping. She glanced outside to see Becket, Sky and…was that a dog in Becket’s arms?

  First of all, her cousin hated dogs. That had been a well-known fact since they were kids. Secondly, was it even a dog? It looked like a big rat.

  She climbed out. “Um, who’s that?”

  Becket smiled at the animal he held. “This is Bella.”

  Bella? Was that name really fitting? “Is she a—”

  “Chinese Crested,” Sky said affectionately, rubbing the dog’s head. “We adopted her.”

  Her cousin had adopted a dog. Interesting.

  She smiled as she locked her car and walked up to the door. “So, Becket’s a dog dad now?”

  “It’s a long story,” Sky laughed. “But yes. He loves her as much as he loves me.”

  “Most of the time,” Becket muttered.

  He opened the door, and the second Bonnie stepped inside the house, her breath caught and she felt like she was thrown back in time.

  Everything looked the same. The gray couch with the pink throw cushions. The wooden coffee table with the crack from when Becket had pushed Jesse and he fell onto the thing, when he was twelve. Even the old family photo of everyone together still hung on the wall.

  And suddenly, she realized exactly why she’d avoided this for so long. Because the last time she’d stepped foot inside this house had been for her parents’ wake.

  She swallowed hard, trying to blink back the tears.

  Becket’s hand on her arm made her jump.

  “Hey.” His gaze was gentle as he looked at her. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.” She blinked madly. She was not going to cry. “I just…it’s been a while.”

  He nodded, the usual humor in his eyes absent. “Come on. Let’s get out there. I think we’re the last to arrive.”

  Sky offered an empathetic smile before they stepped out the back. And yep, they were the last ones. The entire family was scattered around the backyard. Some waved. Some smiled. But it was Pam who stopped what she was doing by a table and crossed over to them.

  Emotion welled in Bonnie’s chest for the second time.

  Becket squeezed her arm before taking Sky’s hand and heading toward the closest group.

  “Oh, Bonnie.” Pam pulled her into the biggest, warmest hug she’d felt in a long time. “You’ve been so deeply missed, my darling.”

  Bonnie wrapped her arms around her aunt. Even her smell was familiar, thrusting her right back to her childhood. She dug her head into her aunt’s shoulder, and neither of them moved for long seconds.

  When they finally separated, a tear must have fallen, because Pam wiped it away with her thumb. “You realize now that you’re home, you’re not allowed to leave again, right? None of us will allow it.”

  “You’re not angry at me for leaving?” Not just for leaving. For everything that had come before that. For going out the night her parents had died. For being the reason they’d been on the road.

  Pam slipped a piece of hair behind her ear. “Honey, there is enough anger in this world without me adding to it. I’m just glad you’re back.”

  She’d been so worried for so long about returning to her family. Worried about the anger and resentment they’d hold toward her. Her aunt was the last family member she’d still avoided seeing since coming home. And knowing that there was nothing but love from the woman felt like a gray cloud finally lifting. One that had sat over her head for thirteen years.

  “Thank you.”

  Pam’s lips stretched into a smile. “Come on. You’ve got a lot to catch me up on.”

  Over the next hour, Bonnie laughed and smiled so much that her cheeks hurt. There was always a drink in her hand, and everyone made her feel like she’d never left. Like she’d missed nothing and was still a part of the fold.

  After she went back into the house to use the bathroom, she was just passing the library when she stopped. The door was ajar, and the voices hushed, but she could still make out the words.

  “I’m just worried about her.”

  Noah?

  “Why?” Jesse asked.

  “We didn’t know Zane had this past. They’re getting into a relationship, and her track record for making good decisions isn’t great.”

  Bonnie flinched like she’d been slapped. And she must have gasped, because the voices suddenly stopped, then the door flew open.

  Noah cursed. “Bonnie—”

  “I’m going back outside.”

  She got just a few steps away before Noah grabbed her arm. “It’s not how it sounded.”

  “There wasn’t much up for interpretation, Noah.”

  He cringed. “I’m sorry. With all this stuff getting out about Zane, I’m just worried about you.”

  And you don’t trust me. The words were a whisper in her head.

  “It’s fine.” It wasn’t. “I’m going to get back out there.”

  She moved toward the back, an impossibly heavy weight on her chest. But Noah’s words were fair, because the Bonnie he knew, the eighteen-year-old who’d left Amber Ridge, had made bad decisions.

  So it wasn’t really his fault that he still saw her like that, was it?

  Maybe a part of her had been hoping that she’d proven herself to be someone else by now. Someone with more maturity. Who made better choices.

  Obviously not.

  When she stepped outside again, she felt different. Her smile felt a bit more forced and an old, familiar heaviness returned to her chest.

  Because even though everyone was welcoming her, there was now a voice inside her head questioning whether it was all for show. Was there something else hidden behind their expressions? A perennial distrust? A questioning of her character because of past mistakes?

  Zane kicked the bag hard and watched it fly back. Every muscle in his body ached. It was late. So late that it was dark outside and the gym was empty, bar him.

  Good. He didn’t feel like dealing with people right now.

  Three days. Three entire fucking days of no Bonnie, and it was killing him. He hadn’t heard her voice. He didn’t know if she was safe.

  All because of the past that followed him, stalked him, wouldn’t leave him the hell alone.

  Punch, punch, left hook.

  Business had also been down. Locals were treating him differently. Crossing the road so they didn’t share a sidewalk with him. Looking away so they didn’t make eye contact.

  Cross punch, kick.

  It was the reason he’d left Billings. And it was happening again. Only this time, he only cared about the loss of Bonnie.

  He’d texted her every day. And not a single response.

  A part of him wanted to be angry that she wouldn’t hear him out. But he couldn’t be. He was the one who’d fucked up. He should have told her everything before sleeping with her. He should have shared his story before their relationship had gotten to that point.

  Punch, punch, hook.

  The click of the door opening sounded. He turned, chest heaving.

  Zane frowned. “What are you doing here, Noah?”

  Noah dropped a bag against the wall and tugged his sweatshirt over his head. “Not long ago, you told me you’d spar with me anytime.”

  “You want a round in the ring?”

  “You don’t?”

  Fuck yes, he did. “Straps or gloves?”

  Noah’s gaze lowered to Zane’s hands. “Straps.”

  Zane pulled some from the equipment box and threw them Noah’s way. He caught them and toed off his shoes before stepping into the octagonal ring and strapping his hands.

  “You want a warm-up?” Zane asked, as he joined Noah.

  “I’m warm.”

  Fine with Zane. He lifted his hands to his face, protecting his chin and temples, and bent his knees.

  The second Noah finished with his straps, he threw the first punch. Zane dodged it easily.

  Noah’s jaw clenched. “I love my sister.”

  Another punch from Noah. Another dodge from Zane.

  “And I thought I trusted her,” he continued as they bounced around each other. “But then that article about you came out and, fuck, I just…I realized that maybe I don’t. Maybe I’m scared that shitty things are going to happen to her again, and she’ll run a second time.”

  Shitty things being him.

  Noah threw a punch, then a hook.

  Zane avoided both.

  “Thirteen years she was gone,” Noah said quietly. “She wouldn’t even take our calls. I don’t want that happening again.”

  “Unless she’s said it’s a possibility, maybe you should trust that she’s here to stay,” Zane replied.

  “I should.”

  This time, Noah’s punch swiped the side of Zane’s chin. It was more of a graze, and Zane countered with his first hit—a hook that landed in Noah’s side.

  He barely reacted, just bounced back.

  “I don’t know if she’s mentioned it, but she’s not talking to me,” Zane growled, a bite of frustration behind each word. “So I don’t think you have anything to worry about right now.”

  “Do you know how many times she looked at her phone today? So many I lost count.” Noah jabbed, then side-kicked.

  Both hit their marks. But Zane remained on his feet, absorbing the blows.

  “It was because of you,” Noah continued. “She was checking for a text or a call from you.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?”

  “It is if you aren’t the person I thought you were.” Another missed hit from Noah. “Who are you, Zane?”

  “I’m a guy who trusted the wrong person. I trusted family. But not everyone has family like yours.” Zane threw an uppercut, but Noah dodged. “I didn’t see what I should have, and it almost cost me my life.”

  Noah’s brows drew together, and he studied Zane like he was trying to figure out if he was telling the truth.

  “I’ll also tell you who I’m not,” Zane continued. “I’m not a guy who would hurt her. I’m not a guy who’d put her in danger, from me or anyone else. And if the worst-case scenario happened, and either she or I needed to leave…I’d go.” But fuck, he hoped it didn’t come to that.

  “So she can trust you?” Noah asked.

  “You both can.”

  Another flicker of Noah’s brows before he quickly shuffled forward and threw a jab and an uppercut.

  The two of them continued in the ring for a while. And fuck, it felt good

  This is why he’d gotten into the UFC. Not for money or notoriety. Because being in the ring made the noise in his head quiet. And now, just for a moment, he forgot about the ache in his chest, the one that had been there since leaving Bonnie’s apartment.

  When they finally stopped, both their chests heaved. Noah was good in the ring. Especially for a soldier who hadn’t done the specific training Zane had.

  They both began to unstrap their hands. “Did I pass?” Zane asked, knowing this entire thing had been a test.

  Noah’s gaze shot up. “Maybe.” He tossed the wraps to Zane. “But you hurt her, and I’ll kill you myself.”

  “I hurt her, and I hope you do.”

  CHAPTER 17

  Bonnie pulled into her apartment complex. But she didn’t get straight out of the car. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, blowing out a long breath.

  What a long, horrible day. She hadn’t been able to take the women to the self-defense session at The Pit because Shelley had dumped three other time-sensitive jobs on her. Then she’d blasted Bonnie for doing two of those jobs incorrectly—or more accurately, not how Shelley would have done them.

  Two new women had also arrived at the shelter, and both had come from awful circumstances. Bonnie had almost cried when she’d read their files.

  And now, she had a blazing headache.

  With a long sigh, she undid her seat belt and climbed out of the car, immediately pulling her cell phone from her pocket and ordering a pizza.

  Tonight was definitely a pizza kind of night. The question was, had Burt’s Pizza improved over the last thirteen years? Because back in high school, the stuff was terrible. Barely edible kind of terrible.

  She ordered a ham and pineapple with extra cheese. She wasn’t sure how much she’d eat, because of her headache, but she had to eat something before she died in her bed.

  She hung up and crossed the remaining distance to her apartment building, her hand close to the pepper spray in her bag the entire time. Since the attack, she hadn’t been able to step into the building without feeling an uncomfortable tightness in her chest. Without her heart beating at a million miles a minute.

  The one good thing about this last week was that no one had threatened her. No one had so much as looked at her the wrong way.

  Maybe everything going on with Zane had taken the attention off her. Not exactly a good thing though.

  Inside, she climbed the stairs two at a time. When she reached her floor, she’d just stepped into the hall when she stopped. Her throat dried.

  Zane.

  He sat in front of her apartment door, head tilted back against the wall, eyes closed.

  For a moment she didn’t move. Just stood there, a million questions in her head. The top one—how long had he been there?

  His eyes opened and he turned his head, his gaze meeting hers. She felt his gaze like a gut punch. That’s what he did to her.

  Slowly, he rose, and the second he was upright, he took up all the space in the hallway.

  She forced herself to move, one foot in front of the other.

  “Hey, Bon. I missed you today.”

  She stopped in front of him, really having to work hard to get words out. “I had to stay back at work. I wasn’t avoiding you.”

  One side of his mouth lifted like he didn’t quite believe her. If she were him, she probably wouldn’t believe her either.

  “What are you doing here?” Even though she asked, she knew.

  He shoved his hands into his pockets, eyes gentle. “I’ve tried to give you space. But I need to talk to you. I need you to hear my side of the story.”

  She swallowed hard, but it did nothing to wet her dry throat.

  She wanted to hear his side too. But her day had been so long and terrible and her head was pounding.

  “Can you give me an hour to shower and change and try to feel human? Then I’ll text you if I’m up to it.”

  His brows flickered, as if he didn’t want to let her go without a guarantee she’d go to him. “Okay. Shower. Rest. If you’re not up to it tonight, we can try another night. But if you need me, I’m just down the hall.” Then he kissed her forehead. And she couldn’t stop herself. She leaned into that kiss. Closed her eyes and let his warmth weave itself around her.

  God, there was something about this man when he got close to her…he just became the center of everything.

  When he lifted his head, it was too soon.

  But she forced herself to turn. To unlock her door and step inside before closing it after her. When the lock clicked, she touched her head to the wood.

  She missed him. Jesus, she missed him so much.

  Slowly, she slipped off her shoes and moved into her bedroom. When she got into the shower, she wanted to just stay there and wash the terrible day away.

  Shelley’s treatment of her was almost starting to feel personal. The way she overloaded Bonnie with work that wasn’t hers. Reprimanded her for things that weren’t her fault. Today, she’d scolded Bonnie for not telling her about next week’s activities even though Bonnie had told her about them in an email. And when Shelley had asked why Bonnie hadn’t responded to her eleven p.m. text last night, and she’d told her it was because she was sleeping, Shelley had looked at her like that was crazy.

 

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