A Married Man, page 16
‘And I’d very much like to meet him in any event!’ I glowed, gazing into his chocolate-brown eyes and thinking, Ooh yesss, yesss I would. Any friend of yours. Just go away, Jess, go away. She would keep staring at me though, really rather rudely.
‘I was going to pop in and see him on my way to Bristol on Friday, actually,’ said Charlie, scratching his chin thoughtfully. ‘Why don’t I pick you up and take you with me?’
I nearly fainted with pleasure. Those glorious words. Pick You Up And Take You With Me. What, in his arms? Naked but for a wolfskin?
‘That would be marvellous,’ I croaked.
‘But isn’t it rather out of your way?’ persisted the ghastly Jess. ‘We passed through Frampton on our way down from London. It’s hardly en route to Bristol, is it? Surely it’s in the other direction?’
‘No no, it’s not that far out,’ said Charlie airily. ‘And Trisha pointed your barn out to me earlier, Lucy. I’ll come by at about ten o’clock, shall I? Would that be all right?’
‘Perfect,’ I smiled happily.
Jess smiled too. ‘Perfect,’ she repeated with a purr. She looked pointedly at Charlie, folded her arms and tucked in her chin, like someone looking into the eye of a storm. But he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at me. Jess glanced around.
‘Lovely party, isn’t it, Charlie?’
‘What?’ He took his eyes off me and followed her gaze. ‘Oh, oh yes. Lovely.’
‘So many beautiful people,’ she said wistfully. ‘Beautiful women, more to the point, makes me feel rather dowdy. Should be the other way round, really, coming from London. Is one of them yours?’
‘Sorry?’
‘I mean, is one of them your wife? Or are you here alone?’
‘Oh I see. Well yes, I’m here alone –’
‘But you are married?’
‘I am as a matter of fact, but –’
‘Oh look, here are the boys!’ I interrupted hastily, as at that fortuitous moment, Teresa appeared with Pietro, Ben and Max. ‘Hi Teresa!’ I cried, waving with perhaps more gusto than was strictly necessary.
‘They were getting a little out of hand,’ called Teresa as she came towards us, keeping a tight grip on various small hands. ‘I thought maybe we take them back, put them to bed. Max – he been a real monkey. Keep asking waiters for Bacardi Breezers!’
Jess laughed. ‘The little love. So killing at that age. Do you have any children, Charlie?’ Out it flicked, faster than a serpent’s tongue.
‘A daughter, Ellen. She’s eight.’
My heart lurched. Questions crowded my mind. Why only one? Can’t you have any more? Or have you gone off each other in bed? How is your sex life by the way, and if it’s not great, might I offer my services? What is your opinion of open marriages, anyway?
‘How lovely,’ smoothed Jess, not done yet. ‘And, um, I’m sorry, I forgot what you said – is your wife here tonight?’ She glanced around, including me in her glance.
‘She’s not actually, she hasn’t felt very well for a few days. Got a filthy cold, so she decided to give it a miss. Probably putting her feet up in front of the telly with a box of chocolates. And are these yours, Lucy?’ He grinned down at Ben and Max who were tussling together on the grass, fighting over a can of Coke.
‘Yes, yes they are. Ben and Max. Boys, um, this is Mr Fletcher. He’s very kindly suggested a place where Mummy might go and work. A sort of shop type thing. Isn’t that lovely?’
‘Oh cool, then you won’t be so stressy,’ said Ben, looking up. ‘I prefer it when you work.’
Max had lost the battle of the Coke can and was peering up at Charlie from the ground. He shaded his eyes with his hand. ‘We saw you the other day,’ he said suddenly. ‘I remember you. You were outside that white house. The one with the pond at the front.’
Charlie frowned momentarily, then his face cleared. ‘That’s it!’ he exclaimed. ‘Exactly! God, I was trying to remember where I’d seen you, and you were parked outside my house.’
Was it my imagination, or had the world gone a little darker? Had God inadvertently hit the toner button on the remote control?
‘Yes, because Mummy wanted Ben to post a letter,’ went on Max, standing up. ‘Except it wasn’t a real letter. It was an old gas bill.’
‘Don’t be silly, it wasn’t an old gas bill, Max! It was just a bit scruffy!’ I chortled. ‘Got crumpled at the bottom of my bag. Now, are you boys ready to go?’
‘And then they had a fight ’cos Ben said it wouldn’t get there and Mummy said she’d sodding well kill him if he didn’t sodding well put it in.’
‘Ah ha ha!’ I tinkled merrily, as Jess raised her eyebrows. ‘Yes, well, I’m sure Mr Fletcher doesn’t want to hear all our domestic trials and tribulations. Come along, Max.’ I damn near dislocated his shoulder as I yanked him around.
‘Oh, but on the contrary, it all sounds remarkably familiar,’ said Charlie with a grin. ‘I have a similar sort of brown envelope syndrome, in that I simply can’t open them. Leave them rotting away in the bottom of drawers. I must say, I’ve never thought of sending the buggers back. That’s inspired!’ He smiled down at Max. ‘I was just telling your mum, I have a daughter not much older than you. She’s eight.’
‘Then that’s much older than me. I’m only four and a half. But I’m very mature for my age.’ He straightened up. ‘Very well developed.’
‘Of course you are,’ Charlie chuckled. Then in an aside to me – ‘I believe that’s what’s known as a bit of a handful?’
‘Oh no, much more than that,’ I admitted. ‘A handful would be a very meagre quantity to relate to Max. More like a truckful. In fact, I’m not sure I contain him at all sometimes.’
‘Ah. So, it’s “wait till your father gets home”, is it?’
‘No no, his father’s dead. Ned died four years ago.’
‘Oh. I’m sorry.’
There was a silence. He looked at me for a long moment and I believe he meant it. His eyes were warm and sincere, and it seemed to me that despite Jess, Teresa and the boys standing around, something unspoken passed between us. I know I was gazing at him pretty feverishly, but it wasn’t just that. Surely his eyes were resting on me equally appreciatively, and with a certain amount of unashamed interest, too?
‘Right, let’s go then,’ said Jess, breaking the moment. ‘The boys are exhausted and I think we’ve pretty much exhausted this party, too. Rozanna’s gone on ahead already, so …’ She turned to Charlie and gave him a sweet, but dangerous smile. ‘Goodbye. It was lovely to meet you.’
‘Lovely to meet you too.’ He smiled back, seemingly oblivious. Then he turned to me. ‘Bye, Lucy.’ He leaned forward and brushed my cheek quickly with his lips. ‘See you Friday, then.’
‘Yes!’ I gasped. ‘Super.’
‘Bye boys.’ He gave them a cheery wave. ‘Teresa.’ He nodded. Then raising his glass, he turned, and walked back into the party.
I stood for a few moments, watching him go. Mesmerized. Paralysed. When I turned back, the others had gone. I slipped off my shoes and followed them, walking quickly back down the grassy slope, shoes in hand, until I caught up. We went on through the park towards the lake together in uneasy silence.
‘Race you back, boys!’ Teresa cried suddenly, knowing the air had to be sliced. The boys yelped and raced off as she ran on ahead of them.
That just left Jess and me. She folded her arms and dredged up a great sigh.
‘Oh Lucy. Be careful. Be very, very, careful.’
‘Hmmm?’ My face, I could tell, was still flushed, so I didn’t look at her, but concentrated instead on the boys racing ahead, affecting to misunderstand. My heart was thumping.
‘That man. You know what I mean. Jesus, even I felt the heat back there, and I’ve had a baby. Been impervious to that sort of thing for months.’
‘Did you?’ I stopped. Touched her arm. ‘It wasn’t just me then? Wasn’t my imagination? You could sense something too?’
She laughed drily. Shook my hand off and walked on. ‘Oh yeah. I sensed something all right. Something with a few thousand volts attached to it, and both ways too, but look, Lucy,’ she struggled. ‘I don’t always want to be the cold water pourer, the voice of your conscience, and I know you’ve had a really rough time and deserve some happiness, but you know what I’m going to say.’
I tilted my hot face up to the cool blue vault of the heavens. ‘I know,’ I murmured. ‘He’s married. But Jess – surely, if you’re right, if we’re both right, and there was something electric going on back there, then …’ I hesitated. ‘Then surely it follows that there’s something wrong? I mean, with the marriage?’ I said hopefully.
‘What, because a man looks at a pretty girl like that at a party? Do me a favour, it can be the most blissful of domestic set-ups and lightning can still strike if circumstances allow it. Doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with the marriage, just that temptation is in the way. A boozy party, a conference abroad … that’s what’s so frightening.’
‘You’re talking about you and Jamie now,’ I muttered.
‘Yes,’ she sighed. ‘Maybe I am. And maybe the reason I’m eaten up with jealousy and suspicion is because he has the sort of life where it can happen, where lightning can strike, and I don’t.’ She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. ‘And part of me believes he is faithful, actually. It’s just – well OK, suppose he was at a party, right, like the one we’ve just been to tonight, and some single girl starts making goo-goo eyes at him like you’ve just done to Charlie, well, in a way, what’s the poor sod supposed to do? He’s only a man, for Christ’s sake. A pathetic pulse on legs, programmed to act on impulse. So where does that leave me? And where does it leave Charlie’s wife? Alone, at home, with the kid, nursing a rotten cold and unaware that some predatory hussy is eyeing up her husband and arranging a date for Friday.’
‘It’s not a date,’ I muttered. ‘It’s to see about a job.’
‘Which under normal circumstances you wouldn’t even consider,’ she scoffed.
I struggled to be honest. ‘Maybe not, and certainly not in London, but Jess, something about this whole situation makes me want to – need to – take it a step further. I have to – well, just peer around the corner. I can’t stop now.’
‘If you can’t stop now, you’ll be totally out of control later,’ she observed sourly. ‘This is the best time, Lucy, believe me. On this first corner. This is the time to ring him up and say, “Actually, forget it mate. Don’t come. I’ll sort out my own job, thanks very much.”’
We’d arrived at the garden gate now and Rozanna, who’d got back earlier, was opening the barn door for the others.
‘The awful thing is, I know you’re right. It’s just –’
‘It’s just you’re still basking in the afterglow of your titillating conversation back there, longing to go to bed and hug it to yourself. Longing to marvel at the wonder of it all, knowing you haven’t felt like this for four years.’
‘Yes!’ I breathed, turning to her. ‘That’s it.’
‘And you’re remembering how it feels to have a devastatingly handsome man look at you like that, kiss your cheek like that.’
‘Yes. Exactly, Jess.’
‘And because no one’s ever come remotely close to making you feel so alive and excited since Ned died –’
‘Yes?’
‘You want to know if this feeling is for real. See if you really can unfurl your dry old roots and drink again, but of course, you wouldn’t do anything silly. Nothing unwholesome. Wouldn’t go the whole hog with this guy, nothing naked and horizontal.’
‘That’s it exactly, Jess! I wouldn’t. Really I wouldn’t.’
‘Bollocks,’ she scoffed. ‘You’re a lost cause, Luce, you know that, don’t you? Sunk without a snorkel. Because take it from me, my friend, the moment your bum hits that seat in that quaint little country pub, which is where you’ll undoubtedly end up just as soon as you’ve gone through the spurious motions of meeting your future employer, the moment your eyes lock over that bottle of Chablis and that basket of scampi –’
‘Coo-eeee!’
A cry rang out through the dark valley. Jess stopped, mid-flow. We swung around together in surprise. As we peered down the hill in the half light, I saw Rose coming up behind us. She was teetering unsteadily through the buttercup meadow in very high heels, and waving wildly.
‘Christ. That’s all we bleeding need,’ muttered Jess.
Suddenly I felt awful. God, I hadn’t even said goodbye to her. I’d been so preoccupied with Charlie, I hadn’t even thanked her for the party, which had been in my honour, for heaven’s sake! I hurried down to meet her in bare feet, as she came panting up towards me, one hand clutching a lace hanky to her chest.
‘Oh Rose! I’m so sorry, how awful of me! I didn’t come and find you to thank you. And it was such a lovely party, really it was, but the boys were a bit tired, so we thought we’d slip away without breaking it up.’ I took her arm anxiously as we walked the rest of the way to the barn together.
‘Oh absolutely,’ she panted, waving away my apology with her hanky. ‘Quite right, you had to get the boys back as you say, quite right and proper. Although I have to say, young Trisha should have done that for you. I asked her to take them back if needs be, that’s why she was there, for pity’s sake, not to chat up my nephew, which is what she’s doing now!’
I smiled, remembering Jack’s eyes glinting in the light of the tummy button stone. ‘Oh, I don’t suppose he minds.’
‘Well, of course he doesn’t! Right up his alleyway, that little minx. But what about you, Lucy?’ She looked anxious. ‘Did you meet anyone nice? Simon Firmly-Williams, for instance?’ she added hopefully.
Ah yes, the handsome rectory.
‘Well, I certainly saw him, Rose, Lavinia pointed him out, and he looked awfully nice, but you know, there were so many people there, and it is quite hard to get around. To have a proper chat at a drinks party …’
‘Yes, yes,’ she agreed, ‘terribly difficult. Maybe I’ll have a dinner party next time,’ she mused. ‘Much more intimate. Be a bit more select. Then you can meet people properly.’
‘That would be lovely,’ I said faintly.
‘But meanwhile,’ she said, clasping her hands together firmly, ‘what I actually came to say is that you can’t possibly all squeeze in here tonight, when we have so much room up at the house. Where were you all planning to sleep, for heaven’s sake?’
‘Jess and I were going to share, and Teresa and Rozanna –’
‘No no, I won’t hear of it! Ah, here’s Ted.’ She turned. ‘He’s come to take the bags back. Ted! Come. Quickly now.’ She beckoned him on impatiently as, mute and resentful, he shuffled obediently up the hill towards us. ‘Now, Jess.’ Rose turned to her purposefully. ‘Why don’t you come back?’
‘Oh but Rose, we’re perfectly happy,’ I objected. ‘We like being together.’
‘Don’t be silly, all hugger-mugger, Lucy? When there’s bags of room up at Netherby? You don’t want to share double beds, surely?’
She regarded me in horror, as if perhaps I were an unhygienic lesbian or something. Teresa stifled a giggle beside me. I blushed.
‘Well, no, but –’
‘No, exactly. I thought not. Now, Ted. Kindly go and get Lady Rozanna’s bag from upstairs please, she’ll show you where, and Jess, where are your things?’
‘My God, she really has looked me up,’ muttered Rozanna, as she filed past me to beat Ted to her belongings.
‘And I, of course, will stay here with my son,’ smiled Teresa firmly.
Rose looked at her as if she were something nasty that had crawled out of the wood shed. ‘Yes, yes of course. I suppose that does make sense. You brought a friend for Ben, didn’t you?’ she said, as if that had been Teresa’s sole function. ‘So. You can stay here, and Jess and Rozanna can come back to Netherby and have their own bedrooms. We have got some guests from the party staying, but there’s plenty of room. So. That’s much better. Right. Everyone got their bags? Come along then, my party. Rozanna, can you manage?’
Rozanna, carrying the tiniest of handbags, shot me a hysterical look as she came out of the barn, whilst Jess, emerging with her canvas sack over her shoulder, shot me one of horror. I shrugged helplessly back. Rose was already making her way down the hill, with Ted carrying Rozanna’s case. Jess and Rozanna hesitated.
‘Must we?’ muttered Jess.
‘I think it might be politic,’ I muttered back.
‘Ah. And it’s as well to be politic, is it?’
This was Jess’s parting shot, together with raised eyebrows, and although I grinned, I have to say I wasn’t too distressed to see her go.
Teresa and I stood at the gate as they went down the hill. Teresa giggled suddenly. ‘She all over Rozanna, that Rose,’ she observed, as Rose turned to wait for Rozanna at the bottom, smiling up effusively. ‘But my God, she die if she had any idea …’
‘Well quite,’ I agreed nervously.
We watched until they got to the lake, then turned and went inside, shooing the boys upstairs to do their teeth. All of a sudden I felt rather relieved to have Teresa to myself.
‘And she also,’ went on Teresa thoughtfully, ‘seem very keen, I think, for you to meet someone. Some man. Very much the Mrs Bennet, yes?’
‘Oh very much,’ I agreed.
‘Which surprise me, really. When you think, you once married to her so beloved son?’
I shrugged. ‘I suppose she thinks it’s inevitable, Teresa. And because of the boys, she wants to do the choosing.’ I smiled wryly. ‘At least, that’s what Jess says.’
Teresa smiled. ‘Jess have an awful lot to say on many, many subjects.’ She glanced at me knowingly. ‘But you know, sometimes you have to make your own way. Make your own choices. Mistakes, even, too.’
I hugged her shoulder as we followed the boys upstairs. ‘And sometimes,’ I grinned, ‘I’m glad I have such wise old friends.’
Chapter Eleven
