Flawless, page 10
“Tell you what, guys. You can tell your wives that I said I’m not interested in a relationship, a casual affair, or a summer fling. I’m only here for a little R and R, and I’m on time out from women. They bring too many problems.”
Leo eyes me warily. “Time out from women. Bro, does that mean...?”
“Mean what?” I ask, eyeing him casually.
“That you’re into men? I mean, dude, if that’s your thing—”
I spit my beer out, and Tobias slaps me on the back a couple of times.
“What the fuck?”
Shrugging, Leo says, “Well, you said you were on a time-out from women.”
“And that leads to me being gay somehow?” I ask him.
“Not necessarily. Just wondering. It might easily explain to these guys why they’re being hassled and may ease the pressure they’re under.”
“Nah, I’m not into guys. I love women. It’s just that...” I pause, considering my next words. “I need some time to get my life in order. Sex and women often complicate things when you’re trying to clear your mind.”
“What about Danica? Are you doing her?” Jeremiah asks.
“No. When I introduced her as my friend, that’s exactly what I meant.”
“Speaking of, I apologize on my wife’s behalf,” Tobias says.
“For what?”
“Her being a part of the gossip about Danica and celebrities in general. I’m sure that Danica overheard them, and I can only imagine that shit had to hurt,” he says.
“She’s good,” I say, waving my hand and discarding his apology.
Although I say that, I know that it’s not true. That’s the real reason Dani didn’t come back tonight. She knew they were judging her and didn’t have anything nice to say. The ladies weren’t exactly super friendly with her or nice to her that night.
What’s worse is that I didn’t speak up to say anything. That may have hurt Dani more than the words those ladies spoke.
“No, it’s not fine. Allyson’s not normally that way. She sometimes gets caught up when she’s around Amaris,” Tobias says.
Nodding, Leo says, “Amaris isn’t going to let up until she gets you.”
“She has no choice. I’m not interested,” I say, looking up and spotting Amaris staring and smiling in my direction.
We make small talk for another twenty minutes until it’s time to eat. Amaris brings a plate over to me and invites me to join her by the firepit.
“Thanks. You didn’t have to do this, you know,” I say, lifting my plate.
Smiling, she says, “It was no problem. Besides, I wanted to. It was the best way that I could think of to get you away from the fellows and all to myself.”
My mouth is full of the burger that I’m chewing, so I can’t say anything. Amaris goes on about how nice I look tonight and how wonderful I smell.
When I finish chewing, I mutter something along the lines of thank you, but my mind is on Dani. Amaris chatters on about her work in Atlanta, her niece and nephew, and her plans for a winter vacation.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Amaris says after a few minutes of me eating in silence.
“Sorry. I guess I’m not good company tonight,” I say.
“Only with me, it seems. I watched you while you were with the guys, and you seemed to have a lot to say. Have I done something to offend you, Zenon?”
“No, nothing at all.”
I set my plate aside as I’ve mostly finished my food anyway.
“Then what is it?”
Sighing, I say, “You’ve been very open and honest with me from the start, Amaris, and I appreciate it. You’re a beautiful woman, and I swear I must be crazy to not have jumped on your offer from the start.”
“There’s still time.”
“That’s just it, Amaris. I’m honestly not interested in having a fling, casual affair, one-night stand or any of that with anyone right now. There’s so much going on in my life that I came here to get away, relax, and just breathe. This getaway was supposed to be a time of reflection, and where I plan out my next phase in life. Not to party, have wild, hot sex or any of those things.”
Amaris is staring at me as if I’ve lost my mind, but I continue with my explanation.
“So, while you’re a beautiful, sexy woman that I know my friends would tell me that I’ve lost my mind to turn down, I can’t do anything with you. I don’t want to keep leading you on by spending time with you when I know that my answer is a firm and resolute no.”
Amaris slowly nods as she turns her head away from me and presses her palms down her sundress.
“Okay, then. I’ve heard you loud and clear. But can I ask one question?”
“Sure.”
“Is it because you’re in love with Danica?”
“What makes you think that?”
“The way that you watch her when she’s around. And although you’ve never said a lot in her defense, you don’t have to. It’s the way you separate yourself from everyone else whenever they say anything about her that makes me know that she’s special to you. The night we were gossiping about her, you didn’t say anything, but you gave each of us scathing looks. And then you got up and left. Zenon, you are protective of her,” Amaris explains.
“I am. She’s been a friend and so much more over the years. It’s not easy to discard that as meaningless. Danica is my friend. I was wrong not to say anything to you all that night. I don’t care what the gossip magazines and talk shows say. They don’t know that woman. She’s an amazing woman with a beautiful heart, and she’s a terrific friend who I’m grateful to have in my life.”
I breathe out and then look into Amaris’ eyes.
“That night when I said nothing, I think I damaged our friendship. I didn’t mean to do that, and she didn’t deserve that. So, I’m going to fight for my friendship because it’s worth fighting for. Hell, to be honest, Dani is worth fighting for.”
“You know, Zenon, I hope that one day I meet a man as amazing and dedicated as you are. And when I do, I will never let him go.”
I smile as I stand. “You will meet him, Amaris. And you make sure that you hold on tight for all it’s worth. It’s been a pleasure getting to know you these last few days.”
“You as well, Zenon. Take care,” she says, waving as I walk away from her.
I tell the others goodbye and head back to the cottage.
For the remainder of the time that I have here on this island, I’m going to fight for Dani. I’m going to fight to make sure that she sees her worth and that she’s worth fighting for.
Most importantly, I’m going to fight to make her see that I love her and that with me is where she belongs.
11 – DANICA
I wake up to the sound of music and lots of noise happening in the front of the cottage. A glance at the nightstand clock tells me that it’s shortly after eight in the morning.
Sniffling, I sit up in bed and walk to the windows. I pull the black-out drapes open, and I see that the sun is beaming brightly, and I know that today will be another scorcher.
I thought that I saw somewhere on the forecast that rain was predicted for this afternoon.
Rubbing my eyes, I stifle a yawn and head to the bathroom. Staring into the mirror, I take in my groggy appearance and shake my head sadly.
God, I wouldn’t want a magazine, paparazzi, or anyone else to catch a glimpse of my current appearance. My hair is a rat’s nest, and I need a deep conditioner and cut. My skin is a darker golden hue than its normal light honey appearance, and I’ve gained quite a few pounds in the last almost four months since I haven’t been on the show.
Heading back into the bedroom, I change out of my nightgown into running shorts and a tank top, pressing down the thought of needing something to make it through the day. After I’ve laced up my gym shoes, I head into the main part of the house.
I can see Zenon out on the back deck, and it looks like he’s working on something. The music is loud, and I don’t want to disturb him, so I head out to the front and begin running.
My habits have become addictive and unhealthy. One of the requirements that I had to do in rehab was to create a list of positive habits that I could develop to deal with the pain.
One of them was running, which is something that I used to love doing in the earlier years but stopped because I became consumed with pursuing my career.
There’s only so long that I can hide out here in this cottage before I need to return to Charleston. I need to see my parents and my brother. Then, there are my cousins, Shep, Cade, Ezra, and Poppy, and their respective spouses.
I have damaged my relationship with all of them at some point. I don’t think that any of the damage is irreparable, except for the damage between my father and me, perhaps.
Tears well in my eyes at that thought. I have always been a daddy’s girl, even when we didn’t see eye to eye. When I would get so angry at him because I felt he was using his power to manipulate me into doing what he wanted me to do, or that he was exerting control over me and trying to quiet my voice, I would blow up.
Our arguments would become so explosive at times that it made our mom nervous. Onyx would give me hell for being disrespectful to my father.
It would only take two days for both my daddy and I to calm down before we would be back to normal again. For the most part, I could never do anything to displease my daddy.
That all changed when I decided to pursue my modeling career.
Looking back over the years, I don’t regret pursuing my career.
What I do regret is not working as hard at the relationships in my life as I worked for my career. Had I cared a little more about their feelings, then I wouldn’t be so weighed down as I am now.
On the return jog, I look out onto the ocean and think about taking a dip in the water. Maybe by the time I make it back to the cottage, change into a bikini, and grab something to eat, I will have a little time for a swim before the rain comes.
I slow my jog to a speed walk as I draw closer to the cottage.
“Danica!”
Looking back over my shoulder, I see Amaris speed-walking in my direction.
I have half a mind to resume jogging again. The last thing that I want to do is play friendly and have this trick all in my face asking about Zenon.
For all I care, they can have each other. I haven’t missed the way that she’s always checking for him, or how he seems to encourage her advances.
I know that he’s attracted to her, and that’s fine by me, as long as he doesn’t bring her into my cottage. The thought of the two of them having sex bothers me but the thought of them being together in my cottage infuriates me.
I know that I hurt Zenon. He deserves someone who will care for him and love him. He deserves to have a good girl in his life, and while I want him to be happy, I don’t think that she’s the one that he needs to be with. Amaris is mean and selfish.
It’s been my experience that women like that can be vengeful if they can’t have their way. The last thing that I want is for him to be with someone who will purposely hurt him the moment that she can’t have her way.
Not that I was better myself. I purposely hurt Zenon to push him away. So, I know that I’m not the woman who deserves him.
I love him enough to admit that now.
“Danica,” Amaris says, catching up with me.
I turn and place my hands on my hips as I look at her. “Yes?”
“I wanted to come and apologize to you. The other night when we all started gossiping about what happened to you, that was very thoughtless and mean.”
When I don’t say anything, she continues.
“Sometimes, we, as the public, get caught up in celebrity lives. It gives us a lot to talk about, and it’s exciting. I think that we forget that you all are real people and that this stuff is really happening to you. It’s not something to just read about or see on TV, but it’s reality. It hurts you all the same way it would hurt us if it happened to us.”
Amaris looks back out at the ocean and then resumes.
“It’s like your life is part of the entertainment, too, and that can’t be easy or fun. So again, I apologize for the things that we said the other night.”
“Thank you,” I say softly, not sure if she truly means it.
“And about Zenon,” she says hesitantly with a shy smile as she tucks her hands into the back pockets of her cutoffs.
“Listen, we’re both grown women, Amaris. Let’s not pretend that you care about hurting my feelings. I know that you want Zenon, and if you think that I’m standing in your way of that, please let me assure you that I’m not.”
She eyes me closely, rolls her eyes, and then looks out to the ocean. I turn away from her and begin making my way back to the cottage again.
I have only taken a few steps before she says, “You don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?” I ask, turning around to face her.
“Zenon couldn’t be with another woman if he wanted to. Not me, not any of the beautiful, single women on this beach, or anywhere else in the world.”
Confused, I shrug my shoulders. “Yes, he can. Zenon can be with anyone he wants.”
“No, Danica. He cannot because he’s so deeply in love with you that he can’t see anyone else. You’re all he wants.”
Huffing out a breath, she places her hands on her hips and then looks back at me. “I basically offered myself to him on a silver platter with no shame. He turned me down. That’s not something that I’m used to.”
I can easily see that. Amaris is a beautiful, brown-skinned woman of about five-seven with long legs, large breasts, and a curvy body with nothing out of place. Her long braids frame a heart-shaped face, sparkling, warm, honey-brown slanted eyes, full lips, and dimples in her cheeks. Her teeth are evenly spaced, and her smile is perfect.
“What’s that got to do with me.”
“He told me that he wanted to fight for your friendship, and that you were worth fighting for. Zenon’s a good guy. When I first saw him, I was attracted to him and thought that we could have an amazing, hot fling.
“But in the short time that I have gotten to know him, I can see that there’s so much more to him. He seems to be battling pain of his own. There are so many women in the world looking for a man just like him. All I’m asking is that you make sure that you make his fight easy. Don’t give him hell, Danica.”
“And I should listen to you because?”
“Not any reason other than that you should just care, if you’re a half-way decent human being,” she says, shrugging.
I watch as Amaris turns and walks away from me this time.
“Amaris!” I call after her.
She stops, but this time, she doesn’t turn around.
“Thank you,” I say.
She nods, waves her hand in the air, and keeps walking.
I stand on the beach for a little while longer, contemplating everything that she’s said. A rare breeze lifts off the ocean and blows my way, tussling my hair around.
I pull my fingers through my hair and turn towards the ocean, running to it. I don’t stop until I’m knee-deep in the water.
With my shoes and clothes on, I swim and swim until my muscles begin to grow tired. Only then do I turn back and swim to shore.
My steps are slow and measured as I walk back to the cottage, dripping water as I go.
“Hey, where have you been?” Zenon asks when I step inside. “Are you okay?” he asks as his eyes take in my wet appearance from head to toe.
He doesn’t wait for a response but runs to the back and returns several seconds later with two towels.
With loving, tender strokes, he dries my body.
“Sit here,” Zenon says, guiding me onto the ottoman as he sits behind me.
As he slowly pulls the towel through my hair, he says, “I was thinking about you this morning.”
My eyes drift closed loving how attentive he is as he dries my hair in sections.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mm-hmm. I was thinking about your culinary skills.”
“Or lack of them,” I quip drily.
“Either way, I was thinking that we could do some cooking lessons. If you’d like to, I mean,” he says hesitantly.
Turning around, I look up at Zenon and see the love shining through in his eyes. I think about what Amaris said.
“Zenon couldn’t be with another woman if he wanted to...he’s so deeply in love with you that he can’t see anyone else. You’re all he wants.”
“All I’m asking is that you make sure that you make his fight easy.”
“I would love that, Z. Now that I probably won’t have a show any longer, I should find ways to cut back on expenses by eating in more often.”
Laughing, he says, “I know that you’re not about to go broke anytime soon.”
“No, I’m not. But it can’t hurt.”
“No, it won’t. And it’ll give you something positive to do in the empty times.”
“How do you know about that?”
Sighing, he says, “I had a stint where I remained in an alcohol, booze-ridden nightmare. I couldn’t think straight, seldom ate, and barely got out the bed, let alone left the house. Some days, I forgot to take a bath. All I knew was taking a drink to ease the pain.”
“Did you attend AA?”
“Nope. A well-meaning friend of mine came by the house one day and told me to get my face out of my ass. He said that the world wasn’t thinking about the jerk move that I pulled on the field that day and neither was the girl who I’d done it for. He said that life was waiting for me to grab it by the horns and shape it into what I wanted it to be and that the bottle didn’t love me nearly as much as I loved it. If that were so, then I wouldn’t be passed out drunk on the floor and puking up my guts every time I woke up.”
There’s a light that shines in Zenon’s eyes when I turn around to look at him, and I know that this friend means a lot to him.
“Then what did you do?”
“I tried getting up again, but then I fell my ass back on the floor. He made me some elixir that he said was good for hangovers and made me drink it all. It was some nasty shit, but when it was finished about an hour later, I felt as right as rain. After that, he made me help him clean my house. He stayed there for the next day, then forced me to return to his villa with him. I spent a week with him and his family.”
