Make Her, page 17
This one was in a vital part; I could tell by the way it was changing things inside me, the metallic tang of the blood rising in my throat, the way it made me catch my breath.
But it didn’t matter.
There was nothing anyone could do to me now.
I was possessed by fate.
“Don’t waste it on love!” my father commanded me, right before Finx’s webs muffled his next demand.
“I’m not,” I told him, holding a hand to my bleeding breast, wrapping the spear there with my free hand as lightning crackled above us all and thunder clapped. “The man I love is no more. ” I wiped the back of my other hand across my lips, and saw it kissed by streaks of red. I took a step forward, and another one, feeling the metal slide against bone and flesh, walking up its length for the statue with the Tear in my hand. “I am only here for what he fought for me. ”
I put my blood-stained hand against the statue’s face for balance, stamping it like a mage-mark as I settled the stone into the socket to cover up the dire warning.
And once that was done, I focused all my will and magic upon the gemstone.
“I am not choosing love,” I whispered to it, as I pried it loose again to make my wish. “I’m choosing to get a choice. ”
Then everything went bright and thunder clapped, right on top of me.
33
Lisane
“Lisane!” I heard an unfamiliar voice bellowing my name, but I could only barely hear it over the sounds of fire, crackling all around me, a roar coming from sheets of flame . . . on me.
I was burning alive.
Just like Castillion had wanted, just like old wives tales had promised, and in my own never-shared fears—I was enveloped, in light, in heat, but most of all, in pain.
It took my breath away, and then my skin, my bones, my soul—there was no part of me that it was not combusting. I felt my hair vaporize, my eyes melt, every piece of me blackening to ash and then blowing away.
I was destroyed, and that destruction was so whole and thorough that I was obliterated, all of me cast on the wind, to everywhere, all at once—and because of that, for one shining moment, my essence was inescapable.
Then I coagulated again, that was the only word for it, and as I finally took a breath I had a vision.
“Lisane!”
The voice was louder now. Nearer, too.
“Princess?” I heard as something furry ran beneath my hand.
I opened my eyes and found myself kneeling in a watered-down puddle of my own blood on the floor of Drelleth’s throne room.
And I was whole . . . even if the wet dress clinging to me was not.
“Finx?” I said, finally processing the spider-cat’s presence. I still held the Tear—but I threw my other arm across my face to cover my nose from a terrible stench.
“Yes!” he crowed. “You were hit by lightning!”
“I was?” I wondered, standing. But I must have been—some of Finx’s hair was singed, and my father . . . the front half of him was burned away. What was left of him was sagging forward, held up only by Finx’s webs. I put a hand to my mouth to hold back a rush of bile at the sight—and realized the spear that’d been in me was gone now. I looked to where it must have come from and saw Castillion’s limp hand emerging from the rocks. If lightning had hit me—he must’ve felt it, too.
“And your throat!” Finx went on.
“My . . . throat?” I said, setting my other hand to it. It felt raw. All of me did. I felt that I had won . . . but at what cost? “Rhaim,” I whispered—and it was as if me saying his name had summoned him.
His beast had clambered up the outside of the castle, and now he flung himself inside through a broken window, landed on all fours, and rushed at me.
I dropped the Tear and heard it shatter as he grabbed me and lifted me up with a howl.
“Lisane!” he both growled and shouted and I trembled in his arms to hear it.
“Rhaim?” I asked, my voice breaking.
Hot breath from his muzzle rolled over me in bursts as he held me even with his eyes—eyes that I knew I recognized.
“You were supposed to kill me!” he said with a shake, setting me down, but not letting me go.
Tears of joy sprang to my eyes. “Did you . . . want to die?”
“Not again,” he said, his new voice rough with emotion, and then he took in the rest of me, the way my dress was shredded and full of holes, thanks to Castillion. “My little moth, what has happened to you?” He knelt down so that we were still even, touching me carefully like he couldn’t believe I was here.
“It doesn’t matter now,” I said. “We’re alive. ”
And as if to confirm that fact, he thudded his head against my chest and pressed me to him, while I threw my arms around his broad and furry neck.
“We’re alive,” I whispered again, as reality sank in.
Finx ran in a happy circle around us, shouting, “Yay!”
Rhaim
I’d gone to a place where there was only nothingness. I felt it greet me like a friend, and hold me like a womb.
No more strife, no more fear, no more curiosity.
It was a place where silence was satisfying in and of itself.
And I would have gladly stayed there for the rest of—if not my life, then my eternity.
A place of solace and solitude, distant from any mortal concerns.
Except . . . something was tearing my beast away, bit by bit.
I knew it because he was coming here with me.
Like a part of my greeting was him joining me, slowly gaining form, solidifying into a separate creature entirely, instead of the one that I’d always held within.
And I both watched and felt—while somehow knowing what was happening was impossible to understand—as he went from a few brushstrokes of thought into something real like me.
Or rather, like I had been.
I stepped up to him, floating forward in my incorporeality, until parts of us were driftingly connected.
He could have murdered her before.
He could have been so much more cruel.
But I remembered him carrying her into my castle after she’d closed the ground to the Deathless, after suffering his bite.
I remembered him feeling the same desolation as I did without her, at the unicorn glade.
And she had not been pledged to me alone.
He had also known her, knotted her, and needed her.
And he was protecting her now. The creatures I’d summoned were lost, so he was immersed in fighting, trapped in front of the gate by an impossible number of the Deathless, more than anyone had ever seen. Feeling their teeth and their claws, tasting their ichor, performing acts of wild savagery and violence heretofore unknown, determined to slay them all at any cost.
Not for himself, but for her.
Even though I had just told her to kill him on sight.
A thing we both knew she would never do.
“Don’t stop,” I urged him, coming nearer, feeling his battle through our still shared soul. “Save her. No matter what. ”
And I knew he either would—or he would gladly die, trying.
He may not have been good.
But he wasn’t completely evil, either.
“Let me help you,” I told him, offering him my hand for strength.
He took it and—
34
Rhaim
I found myself in his form, in a field, where it looked like giants had danced, so much of the earth had been moved.
But there were no more Deathless.
My little moth had done it—and I was alive.
Like this.
Covered in fur.
I strained, to change my form, but couldn’t—and then I tried to listen for creatures, and I couldn’t do that, either—but none of that mattered right now. I loped for the gates of the castle and soared over them, racing on all fours towards a strange tree that was now there. I used it and the elaborate carvings to haul myself up the building’s side until I could burst through an open window to see Lisane standing in a pool of blood, in front of a still-smoking corpse.
And when she looked up and saw me, I expected to see horror in her eyes—but didn’t.
I stormed her at once, was upset at her for not listening, and then once I started holding her, I realized I would never have to let her go.
She was mine now, forever, no matter what. And I knew she was feeling and thinking the exact same thing from the way she clung to me, her arms only barely wrapping around my neck, as her happy tears stained my furred cheek.
I didn’t know how much time passed, and I didn’t care, so long as I was with her—but I did need to keep her safe. I pulled back, looking up at her briefly before I stood, looming over her in this much larger size. “You Ascended, didn’t you, little moth?”
“I did,” she agreed, her whole face lighting up with a pleased smile. “How could you tell?” she asked.
“Your mage-mark,” I said. “It’s here,” I told her, and then wrapped my hand over it, where it lay above her throat.
Her brand was the same size and shape as my paw.
Lisane
“Yay!” Finx said, running around in excited circles, cheering us both on. I gave Rhaim a look, and he laughed, his whole body shaking with the motion as I fell into his arms again. All of his fur was sticky, and he stank, but I didn’t care, because he was here again.
With me.
“Brilliant little moth,” he said, holding me tight. He picked me up and spun me in his joy. “But—how?” he asked, setting me down.
“I don’t really know,” I confessed, reaching a hand up for his toothsome jaw. “I thought you were dead, so there was nothing left to wish for, except that nothing like this could ever happen again. ” I turned to look around at the vast destruction behind me. “I just wanted to have a real choice in my life. So I wished for that,” I told him, watching his brow rise.
“You wished for it?” he asked, somehow managing to give me an incredulous look, even though he had a muzzle.
“I did,” I said lightly, with a laugh. And then I heard the sound of someone shouting from below.
“Can I get some help?” I heard Jelena—Jelena?—calling.
Rhaim was as startled as I was. He stepped away from me, toward the window, then paused, as Finx surged past him.
“I’ll go the long way!” I shouted, running for the halls and stairs.
I heard a surprised shriek echoing up, but by the time I arrived, Rhaim had convinced Jelena of his usefulness, and they were both pulling on a rope inside a well. Rhaim wound it around his arm until a bald man emerged on the far end.
“Lisane!” Jelena shouted, running for me, once Sibyi’s rescue was handled. “I decided to take my chances with the mages. ”
“You didn’t want to be a noblewoman anymore?” I teased.
She stopped before hugging me, looking me up and down with a laugh. “No—but there’s no way I’m doing that laundry. ” I grinned at her, as Sibyi quickly untied himself.
“I’m . . . alive?” The very wet mage looked at himself like he couldn’t believe it. “I’m alive!” he whooped and did a little dance. Finx joined in at his feet, mimicking him.
“Whatever were you doing in the well?” I asked him, as Rhaim set the rope down and came back to hold me.
“I had to keep drinking water to make the storm work—it was the only thing I could think of to do,” he said, then gave Rhaim a crazed look. “But that was how I died, Rhaim,” he said, pointing back, and sounding firm. “I’m not complaining, but—how?”
“I can’t explain it either,” Rhaim said from behind me—then he looked to the tree that’d overgrown half the castle’s side. “Wyrval?” he said with alarm.
The mage was far more tree than man now, although I could still make out a face-like shape on the tree’s trunk. Rhaim was stunned, and I was completely uncertain.
“Are you okay?” Sibyi walked up to the tree and demanded.
The tree laughed with a voice like breaking wood, making its leaves shake, and a tide of tiny rocks came cascading down. “This is as a good a place as any to finally set down roots,” Wyrval said, and then the features on the wood went away.
“Wyrval!” Rhaim shouted—but the tree-mage didn’t answer him.
“What’s going on, Rhaim?” Sibyi asked in confusion.
Rhaim looked to him. “Try to call up a storm. ”
“Ugh, no, I’m dry—”
“Try it,” Rhaim commanded with a growl, and Sibyi groaned but did something with his hands.
Only the sky above was clearing.
“I can’t,” Sibyi said, looking at his fingertips like they’d betrayed him. “Why not?”
“Because,” Rhaim said, looking wisely down at me.
“Because . . . I wanted a choice,” I reasoned out, pacing away before turning toward them. “My father threatened there’d be a cost—that’s why my mother died when he made his wish, I’m sure of it—along with all the others the Deathless killed. And while the only thing I wished for was to have a choice in my own future, the only way that was possible was . . . ” I put a hand across my mouth in astonishment.
“If no one were able to perform magic again,” Rhaim said, squinting. “Including yourself?” he asked.
I briefly tried, then nodded. “Including myself. ”
I’d wanted to change the world—and I finally had.
“It makes sense,” Rhaim said. “Because as long as fate only propelled certain people in the world, others had no say in their own destiny. But now that fate is gone, the world will be what people make of it. You’ve given many more people a choice than just yourself, little moth. ”
Sibyi tsked. “Wait, so I’m normal again?” he complained.
Jelena whirled on him, having taken all of this very well. “Some of us never got the chance to be special. ”
“Yeah!” Finx said from near my feet, jumping in to take her side. I laughed and knelt to pet him.
“If you’d still been a creature of fate—you would have drowned,” Rhaim told him, jerking his chin back at the well. “Lisane saved your life,” he said with pride, and then looked to me with a sly grin across his muzzle. It was funny how easy it was to read his moods on this beastly version of him—perhaps because now he felt free to express them. “Filigro warned me you might bring about the end of the world. ”
I slowly stood again, as my jaw dropped. “And you didn’t tell me?”
Rhaim held out open hands, with clawed fingertips. “I was a man of science. I wanted to see what would happen. ”
“Oh, I’ll tell you what’s going to happen—I’m going to yell at you a lot,” I said. Jelena laughed, Sibyi snickered, and Rhaim only grinned wider, showing more and more teeth.
“It’s all about perspective,” he explained. “To a mage, the end of the world is losing magic. So the future with you in it, the one that ancient mage feared, was utterly accurate, though not for the reason he assumed. ”
“And now everyone’s vision of the end’s been canceled out?” Sibyi asked.
“I suspect so,” Rhaim said, shrugging. “The rest of us will have to wait and die like any man. ”
Jelena clucked the mages back from their philosophy. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be alive, but—how are we going to explain any of this?”
Rhaim held his furred hand out to me while answering her. “We’re not. That’s not our job anymore. I, for one, would like to go back to my former life and as much as I am able ignore the rest of everything,” he said, smiling down at me. “Unless you wanted to stay and rule?”
“Absolutely not,” I told him, letting him pull me to his side.
We started walking for the gate, and I saw the webbed ladder Finx must have created for Jelena hanging down, as Rhaim moved to crush the gate’s lock open with one hand. “Don’t deny all your heritage though, little moth,” he told me, after he’d tossed it aside.
“Why not?” I asked.
He gave me a wolfish grin. “Because from here on out, you will be the queen of my heart. ”
Jelena groaned. “Ooooh, that’s a good one,” she said, looking at me. “And I’m a connoisseur of these things. But how are you going to kiss him with all those teeth?” she finished up, in an intentionally not-very-quiet whisper.
“I’ll figure something out,” I said, beaming at him as Sibyi drew even with Jelena’s side.
“You know, you could probably still be pretty special,” he said.
Her eyes rolled back instantly as she laughed. “Aye, and where have I heard that before?”
“Well, you did save my life, so technically I’m in your debt,” Sibyi said, smiling brightly at her. “Also, I suddenly find myself with no other goals or plans. ”
“Hmph. And I suppose someone will have to show you how to be a mere mortal again?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips.
“I am a studious man,” Sibyi promised as Rhaim herded me a little away, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close as we both walked, him shortening his stride to match mine. We listened to their conversation, and Finx zipped this way and that way ahead of us, inspecting each new pile of dirt we walked by, as I slowly realized . . . I was outside.
Where I would be, for forever, and there was nothing that would change that.
“The air, Rhaim!” I said, running out in front of him. “And the ground, and the sky!”
I spun to show him.
He laughed and bounded after me on all fours for a moment before catching up, grabbing me and hoisting me aloft.
“I am glad you didn’t burn, moth,” he whispered in my ear, as he carefully set me down.
I closed my eyes and leaned against him. “Me too. ”
Epilogue
Rhaim
Drelleth’s capital was in chaos, which worked greatly in our favor—the army of Deathless attacking the castle hadn’t gone unnoticed, and while the threat was gone now, everyone who was even remotely mobile was trying to leave the city too.
