Power, page 19
Love?
Pansy-ass word, which I don’t ever use, unless I’m talking about my mom, dad, or brother. Yet here I am in my private jet, chasing after this woman who’s destroyed my peace, ripped my heart open, and made me question my very beliefs.
I’ve left my career and house, and dumped my fiancée all because when I close my eyes, she’s all I see.
My addiction. Whatever, I now accept that I can’t quit her. I want to wake up every morning inside her, and go to sleep every night the same way.
I don’t even care if I ever step foot in a courtroom again. I’ve conquered that part of my life. I worked hard, tackled it, and won.
Because that’s what I do. I win. But with Raven… I bring the drink to my lips and finish it. I fucked up. I wanted to hurt her, break her, and now I need to put her back together and fucking worship her. But first, I need to get her to forgive me.
What if she says no?
She can’t say no. Not if I don’t give up. That’s one thing everyone in Raven’s life has done.
No one has ever put her first: not her father and certainly not Rachel. But I’m going to.
I want to give her everything. And not just my money. I want her to know that I’m hers.
That I’d easily die for her, since living without her is not an option.
Is that love?
She’s become my world…
My life.
Sweat beads on my forehead. I take my glass and suck on the last piece of ice.
Yeah, I’m fucked. That’s love alright.
RAVEN
Costa del Sol, Spain
“Are you ready?” Cher yells from her room to mine. I take a step back and look at myself in the full-length mirror. We went shopping today and got new dresses. Cher’s is strapless and mine is a halter, both white to show off our amazing tans from three weeks of sunbathing.
I straightened my hair tonight, kind of shocked at how long it is, past my breasts. I like it, though. It’s kind of got this wild, nasty vibe going on. And considering I’ve given up on anything to do with my past, I’ve decided to reinvent myself right now. Yep, I’m going for the free-bird attitude.
“I’m ready.” I sashay out.
Poor Brody looks up from the TV. He got stung by a jellyfish this afternoon and is sprawled out on our couch, looking miserable.
“How’s the foot?” I smile sympathetically.
“Wow. You look… amazing.” He sits up on his elbows.
“Thanks.” I flash him a saucy smile and step into the kitchen to grab the tequila from the freezer. I’ve found that alcohol helps numb the pain, and since my heart seems unable to stop burning, I’m working on drowning it.
“Dammit, I knew I should have gotten that dress. Let’s trade?” Cher flounces in as I finish pouring three shots.
“No.” I hand her the glass and walk over to Brody. “To us.” I throw the shot back and promptly exhale.
“Okay, let’s do this before I decide to stay home with Brody and watch TV.” I grab my handbag.
“Again with the negativity. Did you not have fun the other night?” Cher puts the tequila back in the freezer.
“No, you had fun. I cried in the bathroom for as long as I could, then got yelled at by the owner.” I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, don’t do that tonight.” Cher smiles at me.
We look over at Brody.
“Don’t wait up for us.” Cher throws him a kiss, as I mouth, Help me.
“Be careful. Don’t take drinks from strangers,” he calls after us.
I slam the door shut and we walk down the street, the tequila already making me feel nice and toasty.
“Okay, so don’t get mad, but I invited Matteo and Danny to meet us tonight.” Cher keeps looking straight ahead.
“What?” I grab her arm. “I told you I’m not ready for that.” I specifically told her no. And now I’ll have to keep a conversation going with a guy I have zero interest in because Cher wants Matteo.
“Relax, they know, but it’s time you at least have a conversation with someone besides Brody and me.”
We’re still a block away, and I can already hear the nightclub’s music. I take a deep breath, smelling the ocean. If it’s really bad tonight, I’ll ditch them and walk to the beach to sit and cry there.
“Okay, there they are. Smile.” Cher pinches me as she calls out to them.
“God,” I say with a groan as I walk behind her, hugging Danny first while Cher laughs at something Matteo said before he breaks away to kiss both my cheeks.
And nothing… not even the slightest flutter. What is wrong with me? Both these guys are young and hot, so even though I have nothing in common with them, I should at least feel some sort of energy when they touch me, right?
Jesus, maybe Cher’s right. I really am turning into a ninety-year-old woman. If I wasn’t getting myself off every night, I’d worry my sex drive was completely gone.
“Shall we party, my beauties?” Matteo motions for us to go first. There’s already a line to get in, but he slips the bouncer some money, and we’re in.
Purple and red lasers zoom across the club, smoke fills the air, and the loud beat of Drake makes my head pound.
“Drinks?” Danny yells as I turn away from his breath. He smells like an ashtray.
Perfect.
“Yes, we want drinks,” Cher screams over the music.
Ignoring them, I look around. As always, it’s packed. The red and black walls, along with tiny lights that look like candles in the large chandelier remind me of a haunted house, making me wonder why everyone deems this the club to be at.
“Let’s dance.” Cher grabs my hand, dragging me onto the dance floor right next to the speakers. It’s loud, and a large disco ball casts down hundreds of bursts of colored lights as it spins.
“I told you to talk, Raven.” She spins as I lift my hands to the beat.
“Like I can have a conversation in here,” I shout back, then turn away, letting the tequila and music take over.
I love to dance. One of my big regrets was quitting my jazz classes when I went to college, but as soon as I moved to New York, I guess I got intimidated, which is silly now that I look back on it.
Cher says something, but Nicki Minaj’s “Super Freaky Girl” is so loud, I can’t hear. That, and the crowd on the dance floor seems to have multiplied.
Danny and Matteo show up with the shots after dodging hands and bodies to reach us.
“Shoot them quick. We don’t want to get thrown out,” Danny yells as he hands me mine, while Matteo gives Cher hers.
“Salud.” We toss them back like its water and not the tequila that’s burning fire down my esophagus.
“Yes, I like this,” Danny says as his hands go to my hips, trying to match my grind. He’s a bad dancer, but what guy isn’t? I spin away from him, rubbing my back against Cher’s. Turning, she laughs and grabs me as we both match the beat.
“That’s it, my beauties,” Matteo yells, leaning in close to our faces. “Now, who wants to feel really good?”
“We do,” Cher screams.
Matteo smiles and winks, motioning for us to follow him.
“I told you we were gonna have fun tonight.” She grabs my hand, her face flushed with excitement. “They have cocaine. Fuck yes, let’s go.”
I let her pull me because for the first time in my life, I don’t care. God, maybe it will make me feel better. There has to be a reason people love it. I just want something, anything, to numb my pain.
We weave around the crowded dance floor, following Matteo and Danny toward a back room.
My eyes take in the dark club. It has to be close to capacity. Either that, or they don’t care. Some guy plants his hands on my ass, then gives me a halfhearted apology. I glare at him, yet looking past him, I freeze. My whole body grows cold, then instantly breaks into a sweat. Gulping air, I try to catch my breath.
“Oh my God.” I try pulling away. “Move,” I scream at the assholes who just blocked my view.
“What?” Cher turns to glance down at me while I frantically try to move around the group to look for him.
“Jett’s here, over there.” I point to the dark corner.
“Where?” Cher stands on her tiptoes.
“He’s there,” I scream, my pulse pounding so hard I truly might hyperventilate.
“That’s not him,” she says dryly, grabbing my arm while Danny yells for us.
“Stop, it is.” At last able to maneuver around the group, I look at the corner, but she’s right. The man standing there may have dark hair, but he’s definitely not Jett.
“Wait. I swear to God, he’s here.” My eyes dart around, but there are too many bodies.
Cher looks as well, then shrugs. “Raven, I don’t see him, and I hate to have to tough love you, but he’s marrying your mother, not chasing after you,” she shouts over the noise.
My eyes instantly fill with tears.
“Oh no, don’t cry. I was only trying to snap you out of it. Please, Raven, don’t go all dark tonight, come on.” She grabs my hand, but I shake my head.
My mind is racing. Maybe I’ve seriously snapped, like lost it. Why do I keep feeling like he’s here? Am I that desperate?
“I have to get out of here,” I yell and jerk away from Cher. “I can’t breathe. He was here. He has to be here. Otherwise, I’m officially losing it.”
Cher looks at me, knitting her brows. “Okay, take it easy. Let me tell them we’re going.” She rubs my arm, frowning at how sweaty I am.
“I need to go outside.” I try gulping in a good breath, but I think that’s just making the panic worse with all the smoke.
“Screw it, I’ll text them. We can go to their dad’s pool tomorrow. He owns a hotel.”
She grabs my hand and moves people out of our way, the sounds of our names fading as we make our way outside. The warm air hits my clammy face.
“Just breathe, Raven. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have pushed you. Clearly, it’s too soon.” She rubs my back as I wheeze, glancing around at all the faces outside.
“I… do you see him?” I kind of spin, then look at Cher, who isn’t even trying to hide her frown.
“Do I need to get a cab, or can you walk? He. Is. Not. Here. You thought you saw him, that’s all.”
“Let’s walk. The air will help.” I move forward and Cher follows, texting on her phone. The night air, and maybe walking, seem to help as I listen to the ocean on our uphill walk.
“Okay, so do you want to talk about this?” Cher pops her phone into her bag, and I hold my hand up.
“I’m feeling like you might not have to take me to the hospital, okay?”
“Fine. But this isn’t healthy,” she snaps.
“Are you kidding me? Healthy? I’m freaking out, Cher. My whole life has crumbled. It’s like I’m in this black hole and I’m trying so hard to climb my way out, but I can’t do it.” I stop to face her. A lone dog barks at us from across the street.
“I know, honey.” She goes to hug me, but I step back.
“You don’t know. I feel like I’ve been gutted, and it will never end. Sooner or later, I will have to see him because, as you love to remind me, he’s marrying my mother.” The tears that I’ve been holding back spill down my cheeks.
Cher sniffs. “I… was only trying to help. I hate seeing you like this. I hate Jett Powers for doing this to you, and I hate that we’re yelling at each other.” She pulls me in for a hug. I cling to her and cry.
“I still love him. What do I do?” I look out at the ocean.
“You go to bed, and everything will be better in the morning.” She sniffs back her own tears.
Pulling back, I nod and smile at my sweet, good Cher.
It won’t be better tomorrow, but I love that she looks at things that way. We cross the street to our apartment building, and a song about how the sun’s coming out tomorrow from Annie plays in my head.
“So you don’t think I’m losing it?” I open the door for her.
“Nope.” She smiles, wiping under her eyes, and we both walk in.
Brody’s asleep with the TV on. I don’t bother turning it off and walk into my room, kick off my heels, and drop into bed, hoping the sun truly does come out tomorrow.
RAVEN
What is that noise? I roll over and sit up. It sounds like the upstairs is coming down on us.
“Brody? Cher?” I call out. A loud groan comes from Cher’s room, but nothing else.
“Are we having an earthquake?” Cher yells.
Leaving my room, I walk out to find Brody.
“No, I think it’s construction.” Moving to the window, I look down at a bunch of workers coming in and out of the building.
“Did we get a notice that the building is getting a makeover?” I call out. Looking out the window, I spot Brody crossing the street with coffee cups and a bag. Thank God for him.
Cher stumbles out, still in her clothes from last night also, looking like Spot the dog with one eye covered in mascara.
“Is that a jackhammer I hear?” She points to the ceiling.
We’re a fucking mess, and I let out a snort. “Yep.”
Cher is the worst morning person. “Well, we’re moving if this carries on.” She huffs and rubs her head.
Brody walks in. “What happened to you two?” He looks from me to Cher. “Rough night?” He laughs, dropping the bag from under his arm, then handing us each a coffee.
“You could say that.” Cher yawns.
Brody grins and leans against the counter. I’m still amazed at what sun can do for a person. He looks like a different man. His hair is growing out, and now that he’s doing yoga on the beach, he’s kind of got the lean surfer-slash-hip-professor thing going on.
If only I could fall back in love with him. Not that I was ever truly in love with him. It would be so much easier though. No more pain, just a mutual respect for each other.
“So.” He takes a sip of his coffee and motions with his eyes to the ceiling. “The building got bought by a rich American. He’s redoing all of it, apparently, starting with the upstairs, because he paid all four of the upstairs tenants a ton of money to move.”
I choke on my coffee. “What?”
Brody reaches for my arms and says, “Raise them over your head,” as if I’m a toddler choking on a toy.
“Who’s the American?” My eyes dart to Cher’s. It’s hard to breathe. My eyes water and I try hard not to cough.
“It’s not him.” Cher holds up a hand at me and rolls her eyes, turning to face Brody. “So are we all going to have to move?” She pouts. “Because this is a prime spot. Although, the noise… how much did he pay everyone?”
“I don’t know. I’ll try to find out more.”
It’s not him, can’t be him, right?
“How’s your foot?” I say, trying to sound normal since inside I’m freaking out.
“Better. I bought you guys some bizcocho.” He grabs his computer and heads to the balcony.
“Okay, I can’t handle this noise. Let’s go to Matteo’s dad’s hotel. We can pass out lying by the pool,” Cher says, turning to me.
I take a small sip of coffee, hoping I don’t have another coughing fit.
“Good idea.” I nod.
Her eyes narrow. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I think that’s exactly what we should do. Give me five minutes to put my bikini on,” I say over my shoulder.
“Okay, but please, for the love of God, no drama today. My head can’t take it—”
“Call a cab. I don’t feel like walking,” I interrupt her. The last thing I need is a lecture; I need to think.
After slipping into my pink-and-black polka-dot bottoms, I look at myself in the mirror. Not too bad. I’ll splash some water on my face, lather on sun protection, and I’ll be ready.
Thirty minutes later, I sit alone with a Bloody Mary. Cher convinced Matteo to give her a tour of the place, or the other way around. Either way, she dumped me as soon as we arrived.
Sighing, I take in the view. It’s a gorgeous hotel, but everything in Costa del Sol is lovely. I sip my drink and debate whether I should swim first, then sunbathe, or go straight to sunbathing. I kick off my flip flops and stand, preparing to dip in the pool.
“Raven.”
My eyes slowly lift to that voice as I grab the back of the wooden seat to hold me.
I’m not hallucinating.
He’s here. Fucking Jett Powers is here. This time I truly am breathless.
I’m going to faint…
“I got you.” His voice is strong, gravelly. He pulls me into his arms, and for a second, I cling to him, needing his fresh scent and strength to keep me standing.
His hand goes to my hair. When he jerks my head back, my eyes lock with his.
“Breathe, baby.” His mouth hovers over mine as if he’s giving me the very air I need to finally get my brain working.
He’s here.
“That was you last night?” My voice sounds way stronger than I feel. His eyes change, and I know it was him.
I don’t know if I’m more relieved I’m not crazy, or fucking livid that he would show up and… what? Think I’m just going to fuck him?
I put my hands on his chest to try pushing him away, but he’s strong and shirtless, a beautiful combination.
I hate him.
Hate him.
“Take it easy.”
He must get that my shock is wearing off. I go to knee him in the nuts, but he easily drops me on the cushioned chair, leaving my knee to connect with air.
“Relax.” He glares at me and runs his hands through his hair.
My eyes take in his perfect physique.
“How did you find me?” I clear my throat, swallowing back the tears. I’d rather cut off my arm than cry in front of him right now.
“I’ve known where you’ve been all along.” He sits down on the chair across from me as I force myself to think.
“Is my mom with you?” I turn my head right and left to check. If she’s here, that might send me over the edge. Did they come here together? She to torture me, and he to… what?
“Raven. Stop it. We need to talk. Things need to be said. Do you really want to do this here?” He motions to the pool area, which is starting to fill up.
Pansy-ass word, which I don’t ever use, unless I’m talking about my mom, dad, or brother. Yet here I am in my private jet, chasing after this woman who’s destroyed my peace, ripped my heart open, and made me question my very beliefs.
I’ve left my career and house, and dumped my fiancée all because when I close my eyes, she’s all I see.
My addiction. Whatever, I now accept that I can’t quit her. I want to wake up every morning inside her, and go to sleep every night the same way.
I don’t even care if I ever step foot in a courtroom again. I’ve conquered that part of my life. I worked hard, tackled it, and won.
Because that’s what I do. I win. But with Raven… I bring the drink to my lips and finish it. I fucked up. I wanted to hurt her, break her, and now I need to put her back together and fucking worship her. But first, I need to get her to forgive me.
What if she says no?
She can’t say no. Not if I don’t give up. That’s one thing everyone in Raven’s life has done.
No one has ever put her first: not her father and certainly not Rachel. But I’m going to.
I want to give her everything. And not just my money. I want her to know that I’m hers.
That I’d easily die for her, since living without her is not an option.
Is that love?
She’s become my world…
My life.
Sweat beads on my forehead. I take my glass and suck on the last piece of ice.
Yeah, I’m fucked. That’s love alright.
RAVEN
Costa del Sol, Spain
“Are you ready?” Cher yells from her room to mine. I take a step back and look at myself in the full-length mirror. We went shopping today and got new dresses. Cher’s is strapless and mine is a halter, both white to show off our amazing tans from three weeks of sunbathing.
I straightened my hair tonight, kind of shocked at how long it is, past my breasts. I like it, though. It’s kind of got this wild, nasty vibe going on. And considering I’ve given up on anything to do with my past, I’ve decided to reinvent myself right now. Yep, I’m going for the free-bird attitude.
“I’m ready.” I sashay out.
Poor Brody looks up from the TV. He got stung by a jellyfish this afternoon and is sprawled out on our couch, looking miserable.
“How’s the foot?” I smile sympathetically.
“Wow. You look… amazing.” He sits up on his elbows.
“Thanks.” I flash him a saucy smile and step into the kitchen to grab the tequila from the freezer. I’ve found that alcohol helps numb the pain, and since my heart seems unable to stop burning, I’m working on drowning it.
“Dammit, I knew I should have gotten that dress. Let’s trade?” Cher flounces in as I finish pouring three shots.
“No.” I hand her the glass and walk over to Brody. “To us.” I throw the shot back and promptly exhale.
“Okay, let’s do this before I decide to stay home with Brody and watch TV.” I grab my handbag.
“Again with the negativity. Did you not have fun the other night?” Cher puts the tequila back in the freezer.
“No, you had fun. I cried in the bathroom for as long as I could, then got yelled at by the owner.” I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, don’t do that tonight.” Cher smiles at me.
We look over at Brody.
“Don’t wait up for us.” Cher throws him a kiss, as I mouth, Help me.
“Be careful. Don’t take drinks from strangers,” he calls after us.
I slam the door shut and we walk down the street, the tequila already making me feel nice and toasty.
“Okay, so don’t get mad, but I invited Matteo and Danny to meet us tonight.” Cher keeps looking straight ahead.
“What?” I grab her arm. “I told you I’m not ready for that.” I specifically told her no. And now I’ll have to keep a conversation going with a guy I have zero interest in because Cher wants Matteo.
“Relax, they know, but it’s time you at least have a conversation with someone besides Brody and me.”
We’re still a block away, and I can already hear the nightclub’s music. I take a deep breath, smelling the ocean. If it’s really bad tonight, I’ll ditch them and walk to the beach to sit and cry there.
“Okay, there they are. Smile.” Cher pinches me as she calls out to them.
“God,” I say with a groan as I walk behind her, hugging Danny first while Cher laughs at something Matteo said before he breaks away to kiss both my cheeks.
And nothing… not even the slightest flutter. What is wrong with me? Both these guys are young and hot, so even though I have nothing in common with them, I should at least feel some sort of energy when they touch me, right?
Jesus, maybe Cher’s right. I really am turning into a ninety-year-old woman. If I wasn’t getting myself off every night, I’d worry my sex drive was completely gone.
“Shall we party, my beauties?” Matteo motions for us to go first. There’s already a line to get in, but he slips the bouncer some money, and we’re in.
Purple and red lasers zoom across the club, smoke fills the air, and the loud beat of Drake makes my head pound.
“Drinks?” Danny yells as I turn away from his breath. He smells like an ashtray.
Perfect.
“Yes, we want drinks,” Cher screams over the music.
Ignoring them, I look around. As always, it’s packed. The red and black walls, along with tiny lights that look like candles in the large chandelier remind me of a haunted house, making me wonder why everyone deems this the club to be at.
“Let’s dance.” Cher grabs my hand, dragging me onto the dance floor right next to the speakers. It’s loud, and a large disco ball casts down hundreds of bursts of colored lights as it spins.
“I told you to talk, Raven.” She spins as I lift my hands to the beat.
“Like I can have a conversation in here,” I shout back, then turn away, letting the tequila and music take over.
I love to dance. One of my big regrets was quitting my jazz classes when I went to college, but as soon as I moved to New York, I guess I got intimidated, which is silly now that I look back on it.
Cher says something, but Nicki Minaj’s “Super Freaky Girl” is so loud, I can’t hear. That, and the crowd on the dance floor seems to have multiplied.
Danny and Matteo show up with the shots after dodging hands and bodies to reach us.
“Shoot them quick. We don’t want to get thrown out,” Danny yells as he hands me mine, while Matteo gives Cher hers.
“Salud.” We toss them back like its water and not the tequila that’s burning fire down my esophagus.
“Yes, I like this,” Danny says as his hands go to my hips, trying to match my grind. He’s a bad dancer, but what guy isn’t? I spin away from him, rubbing my back against Cher’s. Turning, she laughs and grabs me as we both match the beat.
“That’s it, my beauties,” Matteo yells, leaning in close to our faces. “Now, who wants to feel really good?”
“We do,” Cher screams.
Matteo smiles and winks, motioning for us to follow him.
“I told you we were gonna have fun tonight.” She grabs my hand, her face flushed with excitement. “They have cocaine. Fuck yes, let’s go.”
I let her pull me because for the first time in my life, I don’t care. God, maybe it will make me feel better. There has to be a reason people love it. I just want something, anything, to numb my pain.
We weave around the crowded dance floor, following Matteo and Danny toward a back room.
My eyes take in the dark club. It has to be close to capacity. Either that, or they don’t care. Some guy plants his hands on my ass, then gives me a halfhearted apology. I glare at him, yet looking past him, I freeze. My whole body grows cold, then instantly breaks into a sweat. Gulping air, I try to catch my breath.
“Oh my God.” I try pulling away. “Move,” I scream at the assholes who just blocked my view.
“What?” Cher turns to glance down at me while I frantically try to move around the group to look for him.
“Jett’s here, over there.” I point to the dark corner.
“Where?” Cher stands on her tiptoes.
“He’s there,” I scream, my pulse pounding so hard I truly might hyperventilate.
“That’s not him,” she says dryly, grabbing my arm while Danny yells for us.
“Stop, it is.” At last able to maneuver around the group, I look at the corner, but she’s right. The man standing there may have dark hair, but he’s definitely not Jett.
“Wait. I swear to God, he’s here.” My eyes dart around, but there are too many bodies.
Cher looks as well, then shrugs. “Raven, I don’t see him, and I hate to have to tough love you, but he’s marrying your mother, not chasing after you,” she shouts over the noise.
My eyes instantly fill with tears.
“Oh no, don’t cry. I was only trying to snap you out of it. Please, Raven, don’t go all dark tonight, come on.” She grabs my hand, but I shake my head.
My mind is racing. Maybe I’ve seriously snapped, like lost it. Why do I keep feeling like he’s here? Am I that desperate?
“I have to get out of here,” I yell and jerk away from Cher. “I can’t breathe. He was here. He has to be here. Otherwise, I’m officially losing it.”
Cher looks at me, knitting her brows. “Okay, take it easy. Let me tell them we’re going.” She rubs my arm, frowning at how sweaty I am.
“I need to go outside.” I try gulping in a good breath, but I think that’s just making the panic worse with all the smoke.
“Screw it, I’ll text them. We can go to their dad’s pool tomorrow. He owns a hotel.”
She grabs my hand and moves people out of our way, the sounds of our names fading as we make our way outside. The warm air hits my clammy face.
“Just breathe, Raven. It’s okay. I shouldn’t have pushed you. Clearly, it’s too soon.” She rubs my back as I wheeze, glancing around at all the faces outside.
“I… do you see him?” I kind of spin, then look at Cher, who isn’t even trying to hide her frown.
“Do I need to get a cab, or can you walk? He. Is. Not. Here. You thought you saw him, that’s all.”
“Let’s walk. The air will help.” I move forward and Cher follows, texting on her phone. The night air, and maybe walking, seem to help as I listen to the ocean on our uphill walk.
“Okay, so do you want to talk about this?” Cher pops her phone into her bag, and I hold my hand up.
“I’m feeling like you might not have to take me to the hospital, okay?”
“Fine. But this isn’t healthy,” she snaps.
“Are you kidding me? Healthy? I’m freaking out, Cher. My whole life has crumbled. It’s like I’m in this black hole and I’m trying so hard to climb my way out, but I can’t do it.” I stop to face her. A lone dog barks at us from across the street.
“I know, honey.” She goes to hug me, but I step back.
“You don’t know. I feel like I’ve been gutted, and it will never end. Sooner or later, I will have to see him because, as you love to remind me, he’s marrying my mother.” The tears that I’ve been holding back spill down my cheeks.
Cher sniffs. “I… was only trying to help. I hate seeing you like this. I hate Jett Powers for doing this to you, and I hate that we’re yelling at each other.” She pulls me in for a hug. I cling to her and cry.
“I still love him. What do I do?” I look out at the ocean.
“You go to bed, and everything will be better in the morning.” She sniffs back her own tears.
Pulling back, I nod and smile at my sweet, good Cher.
It won’t be better tomorrow, but I love that she looks at things that way. We cross the street to our apartment building, and a song about how the sun’s coming out tomorrow from Annie plays in my head.
“So you don’t think I’m losing it?” I open the door for her.
“Nope.” She smiles, wiping under her eyes, and we both walk in.
Brody’s asleep with the TV on. I don’t bother turning it off and walk into my room, kick off my heels, and drop into bed, hoping the sun truly does come out tomorrow.
RAVEN
What is that noise? I roll over and sit up. It sounds like the upstairs is coming down on us.
“Brody? Cher?” I call out. A loud groan comes from Cher’s room, but nothing else.
“Are we having an earthquake?” Cher yells.
Leaving my room, I walk out to find Brody.
“No, I think it’s construction.” Moving to the window, I look down at a bunch of workers coming in and out of the building.
“Did we get a notice that the building is getting a makeover?” I call out. Looking out the window, I spot Brody crossing the street with coffee cups and a bag. Thank God for him.
Cher stumbles out, still in her clothes from last night also, looking like Spot the dog with one eye covered in mascara.
“Is that a jackhammer I hear?” She points to the ceiling.
We’re a fucking mess, and I let out a snort. “Yep.”
Cher is the worst morning person. “Well, we’re moving if this carries on.” She huffs and rubs her head.
Brody walks in. “What happened to you two?” He looks from me to Cher. “Rough night?” He laughs, dropping the bag from under his arm, then handing us each a coffee.
“You could say that.” Cher yawns.
Brody grins and leans against the counter. I’m still amazed at what sun can do for a person. He looks like a different man. His hair is growing out, and now that he’s doing yoga on the beach, he’s kind of got the lean surfer-slash-hip-professor thing going on.
If only I could fall back in love with him. Not that I was ever truly in love with him. It would be so much easier though. No more pain, just a mutual respect for each other.
“So.” He takes a sip of his coffee and motions with his eyes to the ceiling. “The building got bought by a rich American. He’s redoing all of it, apparently, starting with the upstairs, because he paid all four of the upstairs tenants a ton of money to move.”
I choke on my coffee. “What?”
Brody reaches for my arms and says, “Raise them over your head,” as if I’m a toddler choking on a toy.
“Who’s the American?” My eyes dart to Cher’s. It’s hard to breathe. My eyes water and I try hard not to cough.
“It’s not him.” Cher holds up a hand at me and rolls her eyes, turning to face Brody. “So are we all going to have to move?” She pouts. “Because this is a prime spot. Although, the noise… how much did he pay everyone?”
“I don’t know. I’ll try to find out more.”
It’s not him, can’t be him, right?
“How’s your foot?” I say, trying to sound normal since inside I’m freaking out.
“Better. I bought you guys some bizcocho.” He grabs his computer and heads to the balcony.
“Okay, I can’t handle this noise. Let’s go to Matteo’s dad’s hotel. We can pass out lying by the pool,” Cher says, turning to me.
I take a small sip of coffee, hoping I don’t have another coughing fit.
“Good idea.” I nod.
Her eyes narrow. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I think that’s exactly what we should do. Give me five minutes to put my bikini on,” I say over my shoulder.
“Okay, but please, for the love of God, no drama today. My head can’t take it—”
“Call a cab. I don’t feel like walking,” I interrupt her. The last thing I need is a lecture; I need to think.
After slipping into my pink-and-black polka-dot bottoms, I look at myself in the mirror. Not too bad. I’ll splash some water on my face, lather on sun protection, and I’ll be ready.
Thirty minutes later, I sit alone with a Bloody Mary. Cher convinced Matteo to give her a tour of the place, or the other way around. Either way, she dumped me as soon as we arrived.
Sighing, I take in the view. It’s a gorgeous hotel, but everything in Costa del Sol is lovely. I sip my drink and debate whether I should swim first, then sunbathe, or go straight to sunbathing. I kick off my flip flops and stand, preparing to dip in the pool.
“Raven.”
My eyes slowly lift to that voice as I grab the back of the wooden seat to hold me.
I’m not hallucinating.
He’s here. Fucking Jett Powers is here. This time I truly am breathless.
I’m going to faint…
“I got you.” His voice is strong, gravelly. He pulls me into his arms, and for a second, I cling to him, needing his fresh scent and strength to keep me standing.
His hand goes to my hair. When he jerks my head back, my eyes lock with his.
“Breathe, baby.” His mouth hovers over mine as if he’s giving me the very air I need to finally get my brain working.
He’s here.
“That was you last night?” My voice sounds way stronger than I feel. His eyes change, and I know it was him.
I don’t know if I’m more relieved I’m not crazy, or fucking livid that he would show up and… what? Think I’m just going to fuck him?
I put my hands on his chest to try pushing him away, but he’s strong and shirtless, a beautiful combination.
I hate him.
Hate him.
“Take it easy.”
He must get that my shock is wearing off. I go to knee him in the nuts, but he easily drops me on the cushioned chair, leaving my knee to connect with air.
“Relax.” He glares at me and runs his hands through his hair.
My eyes take in his perfect physique.
“How did you find me?” I clear my throat, swallowing back the tears. I’d rather cut off my arm than cry in front of him right now.
“I’ve known where you’ve been all along.” He sits down on the chair across from me as I force myself to think.
“Is my mom with you?” I turn my head right and left to check. If she’s here, that might send me over the edge. Did they come here together? She to torture me, and he to… what?
“Raven. Stop it. We need to talk. Things need to be said. Do you really want to do this here?” He motions to the pool area, which is starting to fill up.
