While my connection to May was complicated, it didn’t make sense for me to take a step that could have lasting consequences. So, I told myself that this morning was the last time I would give myself an orgasm while thinking of Leif’s nanny.

  I shook my head, then got ready for my day. I made the cup of coffee I’d promised myself, then picked up another, as well as some for my friends as I walked past the coffee shop and into Montgomery Ink Legacy.

  My phone buzzed, and I frowned, looking at the readout.

  Mandy: U free 2nite?

  I sighed, thinking about her. She and I had spent the night together a couple of months ago but hadn’t seen each other since. I knew what she wanted since this wasn’t the first time she’d texted, but I wasn’t about that. I didn’t want to settle yet, and Mandy was all about settling. That and using me to make her ex jealous.

  I should have ignored the text, but I wasn’t an asshole.

  Me: Out with friends.

  Mandy: Call me. I want you, Leo. Like before. Eric is being a jerk.

  That time, I did ignore her. I needed to head inside and get to work. Besides, I wasn’t sure how much clearer I could be with her. I was shit at relationships.

  Nick was already working on a full back piece, and Tristan and Taryn were in the back, fighting with each other. I could hear the laughter in their tone, though, so I knew they were only messing around. Lake was sitting at Nick’s station, her tablet in hand as she worked a mile a minute on some multimillion-dollar company, most likely. Every once in a while, the two would look up, kiss each other, smile, then go back to work.

  I only felt a little jealous. I didn’t think that kind of life was for me and didn’t think I could have something like that. You had to be lucky to get that. I didn’t imagine that being me. But maybe. You never knew.

  It just wouldn’t be with May.

  I wondered why I kept telling myself that, considering I didn’t even know her that well. And yet, there was a pull. A connection.

  But was I fooling myself?

  Leif looked up from his notebook and smiled at me. “Is that coffee?”

  “You know it. I brought something for everybody. Except for Lake. Sorry. I didn’t know you would be here.”

  Lake waved me off, even as Nick scowled. “Don’t worry about it. I already had mine.”

  “Well, I got coffee for you and a couple of extras, so you’re going to have to take it,” Brooke said as she came in behind me. I hurried out of the way of Leif’s girlfriend. She winked at me, then went to Leif, kissing him hard on the mouth.

  Again, I ignored the jealousy that flared.

  Brooke and I handed out our drinks and made sure everyone was happy.

  “At least we’ll be caffeinated,” Nick grumbled as Lake kissed him.

  “You like us that way.”

  “You really do,” Brooke teased as she kissed Leif again.

  Nick’s client laughed, and I just sighed at the four of them.

  “This is what we’re doing? Making out at work?”

  “Oh, were you feeling left out?” Tristan leaned forward, his lips puckered. I moved back, laughing as I flipped him off. “Sorry. But you don’t flip my switch.”

  “I thought everybody flipped your switch.”

  “No, that’s you.” Taryn winked and then kissed Tristan full on the mouth. “There, are you happy?”

  Everybody looked at each other and then at the two I’d never seen kiss before.

  Instead of looking embarrassed and angry, Tristan’s smile went all gooey, and he melted in front of Taryn. “Always, baby. With you.”

  That’s when I realized they were a couple. I nearly smacked myself on the forehead. Of course, the two were a couple. How had I never noticed before? They joked with each other, teased, and had such chemistry that it was off the charts.

  Good for them.

  I went to my station and got ready for my first appointment of the day. A cover-up on a woman’s ankle. She had an old dolphin that had faded to a blob, and I was going to do a wraparound rosary for her. We were both excited, and it was something I had done before.

  Yet it was hard to think with so many couples all around me. In fact, right at this moment, I was the odd man out again—the only person without someone.

  Except, of course, Sebastian. Sebastian didn’t have anyone either. And now I felt like shit. Because while he wasn’t here today, the youngest of us had once had a connection that made everybody smile and feel only a little bit jealous.

  Now, Marley was gone, and Sebastian was a single dad. I needed to figure out how not to walk on eggshells around him. He would never ask that of me, and he wanted things to be normal, but I always felt like I was doing something wrong around the kid.

  I also had to stop thinking about him as a kid. He was a full-fledged adult—and a dad. He wasn’t some kid still in high school, figuring out who he was. He was working, going to school, and raising a daughter on his own.

  And here I was, having sex dreams about a woman that barely even knew I existed. Yes, she knew my name when we’d spoken those few times in odd circumstances, but she hadn’t looked twice at me.

  I needed to remember that.

  Everyone was talking around me and laughing with one another. I looked up at my client.

  Brandi sat on the chair across from me and gave me a curious look. “You’re looking all serious like. You want to talk about it?”

  I shook my head at the woman with dark hair, kind eyes, and a familiar lift to her mouth that I couldn’t quite place. I knew many people, though. For all I knew, she had a Montgomery in some part of her family tree.

  “Just thinking about life.”

  “And all the lovebirds around you?” she asked, teasing.

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s like an epidemic. Everybody’s falling in love and making out with each other at work. This is a place of serious business.”

  “Oh, fuck off,” Nick grumbled.

  Lake shushed him. “Don’t curse in front of the clients.”

  “I don’t mind the cursing, ma’am,” his client said, and I held back a laugh. Nick’s client was a man who looked to be around three hundred pounds of solid muscle. He was a former linebacker for the Denver Broncos and could probably break anybody with his pinky. I was sure he had probably said worse in his life, so when Lake blushed, I shook my head.

  “See? Serious business.”

  Brandi rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say. Now, are you ready to help me fix my teenage decisions?” She fluttered her eyelashes at me and pointed at her ankle.

  “A porpoise with a purpose.” I nodded, my lips twitching at my joke. “I guess it’s time to say goodbye.”

  “You did not just say that,” Leif said with a groan. “Seriously? How long have you been waiting to use that with the dolphin tattoo?”

  “I have no idea what you mean. You flipped.”

  Brandi groaned, and I grinned.

  “I guess this is the tail-end of this conversation.”

  “You don’t even have good dolphin jokes. I mean, at least when you went on a minute rant about sheep, goats, kids, and baaaaad jokes, it made sense.”

  I looked straight. “I was trying to say something about me crossing a fine line, but the dad jokes just needed to be said.”

  “Well, thank God for that,” Brandi said with a laugh.

  “Two peas in a pod right there,” Nick grumbled.

  I froze and slowly turned to look at my friend. “Did you just make a dolphin joke?” I asked incredulously.

  “Of course, I didn’t. You’re fishing.”

  I threw my head back and laughed as everybody tried to add their own fish jokes that made no sense but still made us laugh. It was something my parents had always done for us when we were kids. If you said something about a cow and we turned it into a joke, we would make random cow puns until the cows literally came home. It was what we did. Now, I felt a little bit better with my friends making worse jokes than mine.

  “Okay, now that we’ve exhausted that, and…no, I’m not making a pun or joke—” Brandi started.

  “I didn’t think you were. We’re literally out of them,” I said.

  “Oh, we were out of them before you even began.” She rolled her eyes, still laughing. “Anyway, I’m excited about this, and I have some ideas.”

  I nodded, knowing that Brandi always had ideas. “What do you have in mind?”

  “I know we already have a sketch, but I want to go over it in a little bit more detail. Not detail where we have to go bigger, but to make sure we’re on the same page.”

  “I’ve got you. And then, after that, we’re working on your back piece, right?”

  “You know it. I have ideas for that, too.”

  “I have no doubt you do.”

  “By the way, I have someone you would love. I know you said no before, but I think you should let me set you up.”

  I shook my head at her familiar refrain. “I don’t do blind dates. Ever.”

  She waved me off. “You’re missing out. I have the perfect person for you. I saw you looking around at all these couples here. I can make you that happy.”

  I leaned forward and gave her my most brilliant smile. “Are you offering yourself? You’re going to leave your husband and fall madly in love with me? Because if that’s the case, all you had to do was say something.”

  She pushed at my shoulder, laughing as the others groaned, making fun of me.

  I just shook my head and looked down at our sketches, knowing this was what I did best. I worked with my clients and played with art.

  Dating? No, I didn’t do that well. Or at all. A night was fine. Anything more? No, thank you.

  And if I didn’t make good decisions when it came to dating someone I knew, there was no way I would go on a blind date.

  Ever.

  Chapter 5

  May

  “And then he said that the Triceratops wasn’t even real. How can it not be real? I mean, it’s a dinosaur. It’s fact.” Luke nodded solemnly as he spoke about his day, and I nodded back, handing him a tissue so he could wipe his nose. “I totally understand. Triceratops are real. Remember we went to the museum and saw the fossil?”

  “It was so cool with all the horns. I think Triceratops is my favorite.”

  “It really was the best. So, Triceratops is your favorite now? I thought it was the T. Rex?”

  Luke shrugged. “I like all dinosaurs. But I think the Triceratops is my favorite because they’re not as big, so they can surprise you.”

  Luke was slightly small for his age, and I knew some of the other kids on the playground weren’t nice to him because of it. Brooke had already spoken with the teachers about it, so hopefully it wouldn’t become a problem. But I liked that he was doing his best.

  “You’re brilliant for loving them. I like Triceratops, too.”

  “I thought you liked Compys.”

  I grinned. “Those are my favorites. Compsognathus.”

  “Do you like them because they seem cute, but they really aren’t?” he asked.

  I laughed. “They’re still cute, even when they are mean and eating what they want. They are predators. And they look adorable. Like little kittens.”

  “Darcy’s kitten has really sharp claws, but it’s cute and small and purrs against my chest.” Luke looked up at me. “Do you think that Mommy will let me have a kitten? Maybe I’ll ask Leif.”

  I pressed my lips together, knowing that Luke wouldn’t necessarily purposely try to pit the two against each other, but it could happen. Leif was a permanent fixture in Luke’s life now. Mine, too, for that matter.

  It had dawned on me before, that because of Leif’s job and the flexibility, they didn’t need me. They could have found a way to use the support system and daycare within the Montgomery world so they didn’t need a nanny. They had everything they needed within their family. I was superfluous. Or at least that’s how it had felt at first. Though perhaps not completely. I was grateful that I had the relationship I did with Brooke, Leif, and Leif’s family. There had even been talk of me adding to my duties, and not just with Luke.

  Sebastian needed help. We all knew that. He knew that. For now, his parents were doing all they could for him. The Montgomery family was doing their best, but he was still breaking inside and learning how to deal with things. I wanted to reach out and help as much as I could. Brooke and I had even discussed how we could possibly blend the two duties.

  I didn’t know if it would work out, but I knew the Montgomerys planned to broach the subject soon. And if I could find a way, I would help out. If it couldn’t be me, then I would find someone else. Raising a kid on your own wasn’t easy in the slightest. Raising one when you were still grieving and young and dealing with the rest of the world at the same time? I wasn’t sure how I would do it. But Sebastian was strong, and he could figure it out.

  “May?” Luke asked. I blinked, pulling myself out of my thoughts.

  “Sorry, buddy. Having a weird day.”

  “I have weird days, too. But Mom says all I need to do is focus and try to think about what makes me happy.”

  I smiled softly. “And what makes you happy, Luke?” I asked, smiling at one of my favorite people in the world.

  “Triceratops!” he answered, and I laughed, handing over his juice box before we went through his spelling for the day.

  He was still a little too young for full spelling lists, but he enjoyed learning, so he was a little ahead of his schoolmates.

  We cleaned up his homework and snack when Leif walked in, takeout in his hand, and a bag of groceries in his other arm. “Hey, May.”

  I looked up at Brooke’s boyfriend and grinned. “Hi there. It looks like you couldn’t decide whether to cook or not after you did all your shopping.”

  He looked down at both bags and shook his head. “It’s been a long day. I had to pick up a few things for the rest of the week, and no, I didn’t feel like making dinner. Brooke had meetings all day, and I know she’s not going to be in the mood to cook when she gets home either.”

  “You should have told me. I would’ve made a vegetable casserole or something. I know we talked about it.”

  “It’s not your job to cook for us every night. I know you like to, but tonight was supposed to be my night. And I’m not in the mood. So, it’s fried chicken and other goodies.”

  My stomach grumbled. “If I didn’t have dinner plans later, I would totally steal a chicken thigh.”

  “Oh, yes. That was another reason Brooke wouldn’t let you cook tonight.”

  “We’ll see. I think this date might be my last one.”

  He blinked at me. “Are you serious?”

  “Yep. I don’t want to do it anymore. So, this will be my last try.”

  The decision had been coming for a while. This would be the final date I set myself, despite the promise I had made to my father, and the fact that my family enjoyed setting me up on them. I didn’t want to do this anymore. I didn’t want to try to find my happily ever after. All I found were happily ever nevers, and that was all I would get.

  Luke ran around me in circles as I took one of the bags from Leif, and we all went into the kitchen.

  “And then we met with the new librarian. And she has dinosaur books for me,” Luke gushed.

  I grinned as he went through his day with Leif as he had with me and watched as the man listened with such attention that I knew he wasn’t faking it to please Luke. He was actually interested.

  Leif was already a wonderful father, even though it technically wasn’t legal.

  I knew Brooke and Leif would make that happen one day, even if they hadn’t told me. I just had a feeling. I might not be great with my relationships or trying to figure out who people were and what they wanted, but I could tell with these two.

  “Okay, I’m headed out. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked Luke.

  “Yep. Mommy is taking me in because she doesn’t have to work until later.”

  I grinned as he tried his best to go over what we had already discussed earlier. “You’ve got it.” I looked up at Leif. “I’ll pick him up from school, and then we have a few enrichment activities to go over.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” He met my gaze. “My aunt and uncle are talking with Sebastian tomorrow, by the way. We’ll see what they have to say. I know it will put more work on you, but thank you for offering.”

  Luke looked between us, interested, but I didn’t enlighten the kid. I understood what Leif was talking about.

  They were going to try to make Sebastian see reason and hire me or someone else as a nanny. Because he needed help. And I would do whatever I could to make it work.

  “We’ll find a way. Don’t worry. You’re not alone.”

  “Thanks for that, May. You’re good people.”

  I shrugged, a little embarrassed. I looked down at Luke and ruffled his hair. “See you tomorrow, buddy.”

  “Tomorrow is only a day away.”

  I laughed, joining Leif’s big, deep chuckle.

  I picked up my bag, waved goodbye, and headed home to get ready.

  This date technically wasn’t a setup. It was something I had done on my own because every other date should have been something I tried. It didn’t always work out that way because I was past trying, but I had promised my aunt that I would try this app to see if it worked.

  I wanted what Brooke had. I wanted what Lake had. I just wanted something more than what I had now. It might be selfish, but I wanted that happiness. So, I was going to try. With this man named Theodore. His profile looked great, and we had messaged a few times. He didn’t look creepy or weird, and I had to count that as progress. I’d been on a few app dates in the past, and they had all ended poorly. Either they weren’t the guy they claimed to be, or they were unnerving to the point where I didn’t feel safe.

  Maybe this one would be different.

  Or perhaps I was fooling myself once again because of a promise I shouldn’t have made. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to date anymore. They said you found your happiness when you weren’t looking, but how were you supposed to find it if you didn’t know you were out there searching for it?

 

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