Outrageously Yours, page 7
“Yes, just like that,” she said against his lips.
He shifted his body so her back was against the wall. Claire twisted his short hair in her fingers as she nibbled and licked his lips. A primitive growl rumbled deep in his chest.
“More,” he said before he deepened the kiss and thrust his tongue in her mouth. “I want your lipstick smeared all over me.”
She arched against him as the pleasure rolled through her. She dragged her hands down his back and tugged impatiently at his suit jacket. He was wearing too many layers. Claire wanted to feel the play of his muscles under her hand. She was eager to feel the heat radiating from him.
He broke the kiss and wrestled with his jacket before tossing it on the floor. Her core tightened as she watched his urgent movements. She saw the lust glitter in his eyes and she wondered if it mirrored her own.
Claire’s gasp echoed in the small room when he grabbed her hips and lifted her. She couldn’t look away from his intense eyes. She clutched his shoulders as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He shoved her skirt up her bare thighs.
He claimed her mouth with his. There was no finesse, only raw hunger. She grabbed at his shirt, pulling it free from his waist, and reached for the buttons. Jason slid his hand between her thighs and cupped her sex. He groaned with approval as he stroked her through her damp panties.
“Yes,” she said as she gasped against his mouth. “Just like that.”
The sensations rippled through her as she bucked against his hand. She was ready for him to strip her bare and pump his fingers inside her. She couldn’t wait for Jason to press his mouth against her sex and lick the wet folds until she climaxed. She wanted more. She wanted everything.
Jason kissed the length of her throat as he teased her with his fingers. Claire rocked her hips and her legs tightened against his waist. She twisted his shirt in her fingers and gave a shuddering sigh. “Jason...”
A sharp knock on the bathroom door made them freeze. Claire stared into Jason’s eyes as her body trembled for more. He didn’t move but she felt his muscles shuddering as he tried to restrain himself.
“Jason?” A male voice came from the other side of the door. “Really sorry to interrupt, but you’re needed at the bar.”
He pressed his head against Claire’s shoulders. He took in a deep breath and then another. “I’ll be right there,” he called back.
The silence in the room pulsed between them. She knew the moment was over and yet she couldn’t move. “I’m not going out there,” Claire whispered. She tightened her legs against his waist as he slowly dragged his hand down her thigh. “It would be too awkward. I’ll stay here until the party is over.”
“Then all of this work will be for nothing,” Jason said as he unhooked her legs and gently set her down.
His teasing comment made her heart stop with a thump. She had forgotten. They’d kissed to keep up appearances. Claire quickly glanced away before he could catch the disappointment in her eyes.
She wanted it to be real, Claire decided. Her legs wobbled as the unquenched desire flooded her body. What did she have to do to make this lie into the truth?
5
ALL OF JASON’S senses were on high alert as he drove Claire home from the charity event. He was aware of the faint scent of her spicy perfume and he licked his lips as he recalled how her skin tasted. He was tempted to turn on the radio to cut through the thick silence between them. He kept glancing at her, remembering the softness of her hair and the fullness of her mouth.
It had been hot and wild. Her touch had made him rock hard and he was still in agony. Why had she kissed him with such passion? He wasn’t sure if he wanted the answer. Was she just curious how it would be between them? He was. But he also knew Claire. She wouldn’t reach out unless she had all the data to weigh the pros and cons. And even then, she would hold back if she wasn’t completely certain.
Had she kissed him because she had committed to the role she was playing? That was probably it. He shouldn’t assume there was any meaning behind her touch or her kisses. Claire Miller always acted with intent. Nothing was casual or accidental.
Why did he care? He wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. But there was something about Claire. Whenever they were together there was an awareness simmering underneath their talks, just waiting to be explored.
“How did it feel to be in the spotlight?” he asked.
She jerked at his voice as if she had been lost in thought. What had she been thinking about? Had she forgotten he was there while she planned her strategy for their fake fling? Or was she dreaming of the glamorous job waiting for her in Los Angeles? Jason scowled at the thought. He couldn’t compete with what Max Blair was offering.
“It was a little harsh when we left the bathroom together.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Before that it was all right.”
“Just all right? You had them eating out of the palm of your hand.”
“It made me nervous,” she said softly.
Jason spared a glance at her. “Why? The men thought you were a goddess.”
She scoffed and peered out the passenger-side window. “You exaggerate.”
He wasn’t. The men had been desperate for her attention but she hadn’t seemed to notice. She had always checked to see where he had been instead. “You could have told them that the sky was orange and they would have nodded their heads and believed you.”
“They were really smart. Scary smart like my parents, only these guys have made millions off their creations.”
“Yeah.” Compared to the men at the party, his contributions to society were insignificant. He hadn’t considered that when he had invited Claire to attend. He’d always been confident of his strengths and abilities. Maybe too confident.
“And it was exhausting having their whole attention,” Claire said.
His surprised bark of laughter echoed in the car. “I don’t think I’ve heard anyone complain about that before.”
“It was nice but odd,” she admitted. “And it also didn’t mean anything. The people were interesting but they didn’t make an impact on me. I don’t care how rich and influential those guys were. I would rather have the undivided attention of someone who was special to me,” she said wistfully as she sank back into her seat.
He would, too. He wanted Claire’s laser focus on him. Have her make a flowchart and a strategy to snare him. Not that she needed one. All she had to do was give him a signal and he would crawl on his hands and knees to be with her.
“Those geniuses used technical words I didn’t understand. It was like a flashback to my childhood,” she said with a groan. “And when they started getting into detailed discussions about their creations, I just smiled and nodded my head.”
“You faked it well. I thought you were following along.”
“It’s a trick I learned years ago when I was stuck at the dinner table with my family. The less you talk, the more knowledgeable you appear.”
Jason frowned. Why would she have to fake it with her family? Did she feel as if she had to show interest in their work? “You don’t have to pretend to be someone else.”
“And miss my chance to be a lady of mystery?” she asked in a teasing tone.
“You play it every day.” He clenched his teeth. It was the wrong thing to say. It would put her on the defensive.
“No, I don’t. You know almost everything about me.”
He couldn’t let that slide. “I only know what you want me to know.”
Claire straightened her shoulders. “That almost sounded like a complaint. There’s nothing wrong with giving people the edited version. Consider it the highlight reel as opposed to the behind-the-scenes footage.”
“I wouldn’t mind seeing the unedited version,” he murmured.
She fell into silence and looked out the passenger-side window. Jason stopped at the red light and automatically glanced at the overgrown field beside the road. It had become a habit for him to check the old horse barn and stable. It was shabby and the wood was decaying from years of neglect. It hadn’t been used for anything for as long as he could remember. But in his mind, it was a restaurant. His restaurant.
He looked away but jerked his gaze back when he noticed something new. The word Sold was splashed across a For Sale sign.
Sold. The disappointment hit him like a fist. Someone had taken ownership. Someone had taken his dream.
He didn’t realize he had sighed until Claire glanced at him. “Are you okay?”
Jason cleared his throat but it still felt tight and scratchy. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said hoarsely. “I saw that someone bought the stable. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
“Huh.” She leaned forward and peered out his window. “It’s been for sale for years. The For Sale sign had become part of the scenery. What do you think is going to be built there? Woodinville doesn’t need another horse farm.” She gave him a sharp look. “Maybe it’s going to be a tasting room?”
The light turned green, and Jason concentrated on the road ahead of him. For once he didn’t care about the threat of another tasting room in town. He had enjoyed dreaming and planning about what he could do with that barn and stable. Now the structure represented a dream unfulfilled.
“I used to think that place would make a good restaurant.” The words spilled from his mouth unheeded. Jason’s eyes widened and his hands tightened against the steering wheel. Why had he said anything?
“For Mountain Creek?” She looked over her shoulder at the old building. “The wine bar is really popular but expanding to a restaurant could be risky.”
He nodded. It was easier to let her believe that. But his daydream, the one he had entertained for years had slipped out of his hands. Because he hadn’t gone after it. It had been easier to dream about the potential than to work hard only to come up empty. “I was thinking for myself.
“You want to own a restaurant?” Claire tilted her head and he felt her intense gaze on him. His muscles locked and his skin turned hot and prickly as she assessed him with this new information. Would she declare he was too optimistic? That he lacked something essential to even consider the possibility.
“I used to entertain the idea.” He gave her a lopsided smile as if it wasn’t a big deal. That it had been a passing thought that he hadn’t pursued because there were more important things in life. It was easier to pretend.
“I always assumed your one goal was to promote your family’s winery,” she said. “It was your sister’s passion and I figured it was yours, too.”
“I didn’t want to have anything to do with Mountain Creek when I was younger. I saw how my grandparents were bound to the land. They wanted it that way, but to me it seemed they were chained to that way of living. The passion my parents have for the winery consumes them. I often wonder if it’s healthy. And with Kim...well, it’s in her blood. It’s her dream. Her vocation.”
“But it’s not in your blood?” Claire asked.
“No, I thought I could do something else.” The words pressed against his tongue. He wanted to bite down and hold them back but he found that he couldn’t. Not with her. “For a while there, I wanted to become a chef.”
He held his breath as he waited for Claire’s response. Would she laugh? That wasn’t like her. Would she list all the reasons it wouldn’t work? Or worse, would she dismiss his dream?
“Oh,” Claire drawled as she tilted her head back, “so that explains it.”
His hands hurt from squeezing the steering wheel. “Explains what?”
“Why I always find you in the kitchen at the wine bar. You are rarely in your office,” she said. “It would also explain why you put so much effort in to the appetizers. I thought you were giving yourself an edge over the other wine bars.”
“I don’t do the cooking. There’s a kitchen crew for that,” he said as he began to relax. “But I do have an input on the menu. It’s the closest I get to being a chef.”
“You could become one if you wanted to.”
He gave her a curious look. “No, how could I? I manage the wine bar and the tasting room. I put on events and promote the winery. It’s a full-time job.”
“So? There’s a culinary school in Seattle.”
“Yeah, I know.” He paused before he went with his gut and continued. “I applied there about five years ago, but I didn’t get in.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged. It had been a form rejection. They hadn’t given him any real consideration. It had been a painful setback. Why was he was telling Claire any of this?
“Were they filled for that year?” she asked. “Did you apply the next year?”
“No, why would I do that? Nothing had changed from the year before.”
“Did they say you needed some kind of experience?” She twisted in her seat to face him. “Did you apply for a job in a restaurant?”
Her questions rained down on him and he couldn’t shield himself. He’d forgotten how persistent Claire could be. How she could poke at a wound until he wanted to snap at her so she would back off. “It wasn’t that simple.”
“Why not? Were they looking for something else?” she asked. “Did you find out what they wanted so you could meet their requirements?”
“Whoa, Claire.” He held up his hand for her to stop. “Where are all these questions coming from?”
“What did you do when you were rejected?” she asked.
“There was nothing I could do. Sometimes you have no control over these decisions. I moved on.”
She narrowed her eyes as if she was trying to understand. “You were told no and you moved on? It must not have been important to you.”
“It was.” He gritted his teeth as he turned the car into her apartment complex. It had been so important that he had battled hard with his family to even apply to the culinary school. He had gone to the university they’d chosen, but after that he wanted to try something else.
In the end, they’d reluctantly supported him but offered no encouragement. And then it had all come crashing down within a summer. “I was so sure I would get in, and then I was declined.”
“By how many schools?”
“Just the one.” He had considered it the top school and he deserved the best. He hadn’t considered the possibility of not getting in. He had always gotten what he wanted but he had no achievements to back up his arrogance.
Claire looked confused. “And you stopped after that one application?”
“It wasn’t my choice. I was stopped in my tracks.” He had tried other ways to get into the culinary industry but had been rejected everywhere he had turned. He had never faced so much failure all at once. It had been debilitating. “The school, head chefs, restaurant owners—they all made it clear to me that it wasn’t going to happen.”
She tossed her hands in the air. “Unbelievable!”
“Why are you angry? This happened years ago. I moved on.”
“I’m angry at you,” she announced.
“Me?” Shock rippled through him. Jason turned and stared at her, his mouth sagging open. “Why?”
She pointed her finger at him. “You had the skills and the money to work toward your goals. You even had the support. Instead of going for it, you wasted your opportunities!”
Wasted? He looked away before he lost his temper. “I told you—”
“You don’t quit when you hear a no,” she interrupted fiercely. “You chip away at it. You fight for your dream until you get a yes. You celebrate and then you do whatever it takes to make it to the next goalpost.”
“That’s not how it works,” he said wearily. “And it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It doesn’t matter?” She said the words slowly as if she knew he wasn’t telling the truth. “Do you still think about being a chef?”
He shrugged. “Sometimes. And then I remember that it was never going to happen.”
She scoffed at his statement. “Because one school and a few jerks rejected you?”
He parked the car in front of her apartment and almost sagged with relief. He couldn’t remember feeling this trapped. Only Claire would force him to examine his choices. Only Claire would make him want to bolt and keep running.
“You don’t understand, Claire.” He turned off the ignition and faced her. “One of these days you are going to be told that you don’t have what it takes to achieve your dream. You’re not going to believe it at first, but it will sink in when it’s drilled into you repeatedly by people you respect.”
Claire didn’t say anything but he recognized sympathy in her eyes. He didn’t want to be pitied. He wanted Claire’s respect and admiration. But now he had ruined that chance. He shouldn’t have said anything.
“I don’t wish it on you. I don’t wish it on anyone,” he said. “But once that happens to you, you can come back to me and tell me where I went wrong.”
* * *
CLAIRE UNBUCKLED HER seat belt with fumbling fingers. She wanted to say something but it would reveal too much. She never discussed her limitations. She had to get out of the car before she said something.
She opened the door and swung one foot out and paused. “I know what it’s like,” she said without looking at him. “I’ve been told many times that I wasn’t good enough.”
“I’m sure you proved them wrong,” he said as he unbuckled his seat belt.
“No, I didn’t. If anything, I reinforced their beliefs.” She said it in a whisper as if she was confessing a great sin. And, in a way, it was. Why was she saying anything? She never discussed this, even with someone who’d encountered the same struggles.
