The Hope Chest, page 23
April’s eyes shifted from one cousin to the other and back again. She would have been willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that Nessa had slept with Jackson. There had been a glow about her as well as a smile she couldn’t wipe off her face when she’d come in after midnight.
Flynn took a deep breath. “Yes, three weeks is the longest I’ve ever been without sex, but I don’t want to be that guy anymore. I’m working hard to overcome the man I was, and I think I’m making progress.”
“Explain, please,” April said. “Did a woman do the same thing to you that you usually do to them?”
Flynn took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “That’s exactly what happened, and now that I know how painful it is, I’m changing my ways. I never thought twice about having a one-night stand or a weekend fling. Last time around, I wanted more when Monday morning came, but she didn’t.”
“And?” April could tell by the way his eyes misted over that things had not gone well.
“She laughed in my face. Told me that she was already married and I’d just been her excitement for a weekend,” Flynn answered. “I have never, ever messed around with married women. As bad as my dad is when it comes to women, he has a steadfast rule about married ladies. Maybe he didn’t want to mess up two marriages at once. For my part, I don’t know why I didn’t figure things out, but I damn sure got burned.”
“Uncle Matthew might not go out with a married woman, but he doesn’t mind cheating on whatever woman he’s married to, which is about the same thing,” April said.
“I know, but I was trying to at least give him a little grace,” Flynn said.
“How long ago did this happen?” April asked.
“I bet it was right before we got the court decision on this place, right?” Nessa butted in before Flynn could say a word.
“Nope, a month before,” Flynn answered. “I moped around for a couple of weeks and finally decided that I needed some space to get my head on right and my life back together. If it takes a year, that’s all right by me.”
“Did you talk to your dad about what happened?” April asked.
“He would have just laughed at me. Two things he always told me were to stay away from married women and never go out of the house without protection.” Flynn buttered a biscuit. “And for the record, I don’t want you to leave, either, Nessa. Sitting down to family supper, and sometimes breakfast, has been pretty great. So thank you for doing this for us.”
“No problem,” Nessa said. “Your turn, April.”
“My turn for what?” April wouldn’t even know where to start untangling all her problems.
“Men that have let you down,” Nessa said. “You told us that you’d made bad choices with bad people. Fess up.”
April’s hands got clammy. She had put all the past into a box, taped it shut, and then buried it in the back of her mind. She wanted to keep it tucked away and never talk about it, but evidently tonight was confession night for the three of them. “I’m on the other end of that stick that Flynn was talking about. I was the one left behind with a broken heart, and for some insane reason, I kept making the same mistakes and expecting a different outcome. Some guy would say that he loved me, and suddenly I would do anything to keep him. He could lay on my sofa and drink beer all day and take my hard-earned paycheck at the end of the week to go out with his friends and have a good time and leave me at home. But hey, he loved me, right?” She shrugged and went back to eating.
“You didn’t have much of a home life here with Nanny Lucy, so you didn’t know what to expect out of a relationship,” Nessa said, realizing that she had pretty much been in the same kind of boat. She didn’t want a relationship like her folks had and had steered toward the wrong kind of men.
“Neither did you.” April shrugged again. “We were all wrong about each other. Did either of you ever go to counseling?”
“Not me,” Flynn answered. “I probably should have had therapy after my mom died, but Dad was too busy with all his stuff to even think about the grief I was shouldering.”
“My daddy would have told me that he could counsel me better than anyone outside the church. I heard him tell other people that. You do know that he’s got a place reserved in heaven at the left hand of God. Jesus has the chair on the right hand, and Daddy respects him enough that he won’t ask him to move over.” Nessa laughed. “I guess y’all want a confession from me now, right?”
Flynn nodded. “We’ve bared our souls, so tell us why you’re not married and producing a bunch of little red-haired kids.”
“I want the whole enchilada when I get married.” Nessa thought again of the night before and the pure contentment and happiness she’d felt when she was with Jackson. “I want the bells and whistles when he kisses me, and enough in common with him that we can almost finish each other’s sentences. And then I want to trust him so much that I’m sure down deep in my heart that he won’t ever cheat on me.” Hopefully, that was what this relationship with Jackson would bring her.
“I guess neither one of us is going to get that quilt we’re working on, Flynn,” April giggled. “From the glitter in Nessa’s eyes, I think she’s taken the first steps toward getting it and the hope chest.”
Nessa ducked her head, but that didn’t prevent a blush from turning her cheeks bright red. “One can only hope,” she muttered.
“As for me, I don’t think there’s a man out there that’s wonderful enough to make me blush,” April said. “I’ve been stung too many times, and I may never get over the pain or the feeling of stupidity when I turned around and let another man that was just like the last one into my life.”
“I plan on being one of those guys that women can put their trust in someday, so don’t say there aren’t a few good men left,” said Flynn.
“I’ll believe that when I see it,” April said.
“What’s your plan?” Nessa asked Flynn.
“Just what I’m doing now. Stay away from dating until I feel like I’ve got something worthwhile to offer a woman. Be a gentleman and be honest. If I don’t feel any chemistry on the first date, then call the lady and tell her. I’m not going to sweet-talk my way into bed with a woman on the first date, and maybe I won’t even kiss her until the second date,” he said, “and if it takes me a year or two, I want to be a guy like you just talked about, Nessa, not one of the jerks April just described.”
“Good plan,” April said. “Mine is about the same. No sleeping with a guy on a first date. No letting him move in in anything less than six months, and being up-front and honest from the beginning about what I want in a relationship. Your turn, Nessa.”
“I’ve dated lots of guys, got to a second date with a few, and a third date with only a handful. But there were no bells and whistles, even with the few where I could say that there was a relationship. Daddy thought I was a rebellious daughter, but I wasn’t really. I’ve never done drugs and actually drank very little. Been drunk maybe three times in my life. I have been sassy, and I do speak my mind, and Daddy couldn’t make me get married at eighteen.” She paused a moment before going on. “I wanted to experience the world, and I never want to wind up with a controlling man like my father. I guess that’s what scares me most. That I would misjudge a guy, and after we got deep into a relationship, he would expect me to be a submissive little wife. Then he’d get all bossy and wind up cheating on me before we even broke up.”
“So were there bells and whistles when Jackson kissed you?” Flynn asked Nessa.
“Like I said before, I don’t kiss and tell.” Nessa blushed again. “I’m sorry that we’ve all had these kinds of problems. Looks like one of us could have had a healthy relationship by this time in our lives.”
“You can’t build a brick house out of sticks and mud, or a relationship out of what we’ve had to offer.” Flynn reached for the bowl of potatoes.
“You got that right.” April nodded. “All we’ve had up until now is mud and more mud, but I’m going to do my best to have a brick house before next year.”
“Amen,” Flynn and Nessa said at the same time.
When they’d finished supper, Flynn offered to take care of the cleanup. “That way y’all can go on to the grocery store and get back before bedtime. I like a glass of milk before I go to sleep.”
April felt as if a few more chains had fallen from her heart and soul.
What Nessa liked best before going to sleep was a good round of hot sex, just like she and Jackson had had the night before. She had been expecting him to call all day and was disappointed when he didn’t, but then maybe he and Flynn had been extra busy that day.
Are you making excuses for him? the voice in her head asked.
No, I am not. I’m being honest. She tipped her chin up a notch and felt liberated to be able to argue the point.
“I’ll be ready in a minute.” Nessa pushed back her chair. “I just have to grab my purse.”
“Me too.” April was on her feet and headed outside before Nessa could even push back her chair. She was already in the SUV when Nessa slid in behind the wheel.
“You must really not like washing dishes,” Nessa said.
“No, I don’t mind doing any kind of housework, and I can cook. Nanny Lucy made sure that I knew how to do all kinds of things before I left—like clean, cook, work with the roses, and change the oil and tires on the car.” April rolled up the window when Nessa started the engine and turned on the air conditioner. “I just didn’t want to talk about my failures anymore. It’s depressing.”
“Failure doesn’t have to define us,” Nessa said. “It can be the turning point in our lives that leads us to something better.”
“Is that Uncle Isaac I hear?” April asked.
“No, it’s straight from my school counselor. I confided a lot of stuff in her, and I remember seeing that quote hanging on her wall. I have no idea who said it. For all I know, she thought it up herself and printed it out right there in her room. But it has helped me a lot, even when I kept making the same mistakes over and over,” Nessa said.
“Ever get a good outcome from one of them?” April asked.
“Not one time. Same old thing, time after time.” Nessa turned onto the paved highway. “Well, that helped take care of the shake, rattle, and roll. Think they’ll ever pave this road?”
“Probably not for just two houses. Every time I drive Nanny Lucy’s car out onto the highway, I think the same thing.” April turned on the radio, and they listened to country music all the way to Paris. Kenny Chesney and David Lee Murphy were singing “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright” when Nessa found a parking spot not far from the entrance to Walmart. Nessa kept time with the beat with her thumbs on the steering wheel. April bobbed her head along with the lyrics.
“You believe that everything is really gonna be all right?” Nessa asked.
“I do, but we have to give it time. It took a lifetime for us to get in the condition that we’re in, so we don’t need to be over our past in three weeks. I’ve already got rid of one of the monkeys on my back, like they’re singing about. Now I just have to not worry and for sure not hit the panic button, because . . .”—April moved her shoulders and arms to the music—“for the first time I really feel like just maybe things will be all right.”
“Me too, but I’m scared that the other shoe might drop.” Nessa got out of the SUV and grabbed a cart that had been left between two vehicles. “Hold up. My phone just pinged.”
April slid out of her seat and slammed the door shut. “Is it Jackson?”
“No, it’s Mama. She says I need to call her immediately. Hold on to this cart. I’ll make it quick.” Nessa sighed as she ran down the list of contacts and hit her mother’s number.
“I’m so glad you called,” Cora said. “Your father is making the absolute final plans for the trip to the Holy Land, and we want to give you one more chance to go with us. You’d need to be back in this area by July first.”
“I haven’t changed my mind. I don’t want to go anywhere this summer. I’m not coming back to my old job, so I need to save my money to hold me over until I can sell some quilts this fall,” Nessa explained. “I told Daddy that I didn’t want to go. Does he ever talk to you, Mama, or does he just expect you to go along with everything he wants?”
“That’s enough of that,” Cora scolded. “A wife is to be dutiful and submissive to her husband. That’s what brings peace into her heart, and for the record, I think this idea of you staying in Blossom is insane.” Cora’s tone turned into the same one she’d used when she threatened Nessa about going to Blossom when she was young. “I can’t believe that you’re giving up a good-paying, secure job to live in Blossom, Texas, and make quilts. That’s a hobby, not a job. Your father tried to talk sense into you, but you’ve never been one to honor your father or your mother.”
Nessa wondered if her mother was bossy with her to make up for the fact that she had to live with an overbearing husband. “If you’re going to throw around Bible verses, you might remember the one about not provoking your children to anger.”
“Don’t you sass me, Vanessa.” Cora’s voice rose an octave.
Nothing was going to get resolved. Nessa wasn’t going to budge, and her mother couldn’t, so she finally sighed. “Mama, I’m standing in the Walmart parking lot with April. Y’all have a good time on the trip, and come see me when you get home.”
“It might be a long time before either of us want to see you again,” Cora said.
Nessa started walking toward the store, and April kept step beside her. “I can live with that.” She couldn’t believe those words had come out of her mouth. “Bye, Mama.”
For the first time ever, silence met her ears. Her mother hadn’t ended with “If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t care what you do” or even “Goodbye.” Nessa shoved the phone into her hip pocket. “You remember that old phone Nanny Lucy had when we were little kids? The one with a cord, and you could slam the receiver down and hang up on someone?”
“She had it when I left home.” April nodded. “She didn’t get a mobile phone set up until a few years ago. I saw her hang up on a few people and wondered if they would ever hear anything in that ear again.”
“Mama just hung up on me, and I could swear that I felt the loud click even though I know cell phones don’t work that way,” Nessa said.
“Miz April,” a thin voice yelled out from the exit doors.
“Hello, Callie.” April waved toward the little girl who had left her father’s side and was running toward her.
“Guess what? Belle loves her new house, but sometimes she gets lonely, so Daddy said I can come pick out one more kitty to keep her company,” Callie said without catching her breath.
Kent pushed his cart over toward April and Nessa. “Hello, April. She’s talked me into adopting another kitten, so we’ll be by to see you again sometime this week.”
“I’m going to name this one Cindy, after Cinderella.” Callie grinned up at April. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No, do you?” April asked.
“Nooo. I’m just six years old. That’s too young to get married, and that’s what boyfriends are for, ain’t it?” Callie asked.
“Calliope Wallace!” Kent finally caught up with her. “That’s not a nice question to ask a lady.”
“Well,” Callie huffed, “I needed to know because you ain’t got a girlfriend, and I bet if you got one, she would love Belle and Cindy.”
Kent shot a brilliant smile toward April. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “She has no filter on her mouth.”
“Oh, to be young and be able to say anything on my mind.” April returned the smile. “This is my cousin Nessa O’Riley. Nessa, this is Kent Wallace and his daughter, Callie.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Kent said, but his eyes stayed on April.
“You’ve got hair like Ariel in The Little Mermaid,” Callie said to Nessa. “Daddy, can I dye my hair like that?” She looked up at him with her big blue eyes.
“Not until you are thirty years old,” Kent said.
Callie crossed her arms over her chest. “That’s what you always say.”
“Yep, it is, and we’d better be getting on our way if we’re going to the movies,” Kent said.
“Bye, April. Bye, Ariel. Hey, Daddy, wait a minute. Can April go with us?” Callie asked.
“I’d love to, darlin’, but I’ve got to do some shopping. I’ll see you sometime this week when you come get another kitty cat.” April thought she could see relief in Kent’s eyes.
“Oh, all right,” Callie said. “At least I don’t have to wait until I’m thirty to see you again.”
Kent pushed his cart toward the parking lot with one hand and held Callie’s hand tightly with the other one. He was handsome, but it was his kind eyes that appealed to April. And then there was the fact that he was so sweet to his daughter. That says a lot, doesn’t it? she thought as she and Nessa made their way into the store.
“Wonder what happened to Callie’s mama,” Nessa said as they made their way through the automatic doors into the store.
“Stella says that she died when Callie was only a year old. Callie is a lucky little girl to have a father like she has.” April sighed. “He’s definitely one of those good guys—the kind Flynn wants to become.”
“I think he might like you,” Nessa told her.
April picked up a head of lettuce and two tomatoes and put them in the cart. “Then you’re thinking wrong. He’s a lawyer, for crying out loud. He would never be interested in someone like me.”
“Don’t underestimate yourself, Cousin. Besides, you can’t fool kids, and that little girl thinks you’re pretty enough to be her daddy’s girlfriend,” Nessa said.
April flushed at Nessa’s observation and then gasped. “Is that Jackson over there? And who in the hell is kissing him? I mean it’s just on the cheek, but it is a kiss.”
“I’m sure I don’t know, but he’s pushing the cart for her, so . . .” Nessa felt the world crumbling under her feet.
