Trusting the Rancher with Christmas, page 16
“He spent more time with the puppies tonight than playing games.” Tess grinned.
Wes was more than comfortable and confident with the puppies. Handling the dropper of milk replacement with ease and skill earlier that evening. Wes never flinched. Much like Evan last night. From weighing the pups to spot cleanings to two-hour feedings, Evan had remained beside Paige. Never impatient. Never critical. He’d supported and encouraged her in a way she hadn’t experienced from someone outside her family. But that was Evan’s nature. It hardly made her special.
Paige tightened her ponytail and that hold on her heart. “I’m not sure when we would get back. The tree farm is more than an hour’s drive away and Wes has to work, doesn’t he?”
“I’ll relieve Wes in the afternoon.” Tess’s frank tone paired neatly with her sharp smile—the one she used whenever a decision wasn’t up for debate. “After I close the store, I’ll come here to help Abby, if you’re not back.”
“That works.” Abby reached across the table and grabbed each of their arms. “Let’s have a sleepover like when we were kids.”
“Sleepover,” Paige repeated.
“Yes.” Abby gave each of their arms a little jostle. “Here with the puppies and the three of us.”
“A girl’s night.” Tess nodded, her smile growing wider.
Abby tilted her head and watched Riley. “Paige, when was the last time you had a girl’s night?”
“Riley and I had one two nights ago. Sort of.” Paige fluttered her fingers over the table. “We painted nails and put on facial masks, ate popcorn and drank hot chocolate. Danced in our socks. And watched a fun movie about an ice queen and her sister.”
Riley’s head popped up over the couch. She rested her chin on her folded arms. “But Daddy was here. And he’s a boy.”
The room plunged into silence and everyone’s attention shifted to Paige like a spotlight illuminating its mark. Paige squeezed the hard squares in her hand. Nothing slowed the heat pulsing beneath her cheeks.
“Don’t you remember, Ms. Paige,” Riley chattered on, not looking the least bit tired or distracted. “Dad brought you Grandma’s special apple cider in her fancy drinking glasses.”
A slow simmer of laughter spread around the room. That heat speared down Paige’s neck to her chest. She saw Evan in the archway.
“I thought you liked Grandma’s special apple cider.” A line formed between Riley’s eyebrows.
“I do very much,” Paige reassured her. She very much didn’t like the unspoken assumptions shifting around the room.
Riley straightened. Her nose wrinkled, shifting her freckles. “But Daddy didn’t bring you any last night when he went back to see you.”
Evan pushed away from the wall and finally came to Paige’s rescue. “Riley, you were supposed to be sleeping then.”
“I forgot to brush my teeth.” Riley lifted both arms and shrugged. “You told me I have to brush my teeth if I want to keep them. Except I can’t keep these ’cause I have bigger ones coming.”
“Right.” Evan squeezed Riley’s shoulders. “Good hygiene is important. Thanks for taking care of your teeth. Maybe you can do that and get right back in bed next time.”
“Are you going over to Ms. Paige’s tonight too?” Riley asked.
“That’s enough of the questions.” Evan swung Riley up into his arms and tucked her against his side. “I think it’s past all of our bedtimes.”
No one else made any move to leave. They kept their focus on Paige and Evan.
Paige started packing up the board game. “The puppies and I will be fine on our own tonight.”
“Are you sure?” Worry widened Riley’s eyes, and she rushed her words. “What if you fall asleep and one of ’em starts crying?”
“I’ll wake up then.” Paige closed the lid on the game box.
“One night I was crying and crying real bad and Daddy forgot to wake up.” Riley frowned at Evan. “I had to go get him.”
“What did he do?” Abby stood and set her hands against her lower back.
“He picked me up and told me, ‘I got you. I’m not going anywhere.’” Riley wrapped her arms around Evan’s neck and squeezed. “And I stopped crying just like that.”
Paige imagined she’d stop sobbing too with words like that. To know she was heard. To know someone would stay beside her. That would be powerful. And mind changing. She was glad Riley had her father. The little girl would never question if she was truly loved for who she was. Paige said, “I’ll tell Ginger and Tyne the same thing. I won’t let them cry.”
“But what happens if you start crying too.” Looking alarmed, Riley leaned toward Paige.
Paige lost her voice. Forgot her words. How many times had Paige cried alone? Too many. And this precious child acted as if she knew Paige’s secrets and wanted her to be safe.
Evan rubbed Riley’s back and smiled quietly at Paige. “Then Ms. Paige will come and find me.”
But would my heart be safe? What would I lose if I loved you?
Riley hugged her dad, then squirmed out of his arms. She wrapped Paige in one of her all-encompassing hugs. “Daddy says I can go to him whenever and he’ll be there for me. No matter what time. Don’t forget, Ms. Paige.”
Paige embraced Riley and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. Everyone should know they were loved.
Riley worked the rest of the room, gathering sweet-dream wishes and good-night hugs from everyone. Finally, Evan carried Riley upstairs to her bed. Ilene passed out the leftover take-home bags. More hugs were shared. And too quickly, Paige found herself alone in the kitchen with the puppy box.
Evan returned and motioned to the dogs. “Are you sure you guys will be good?”
Paige slipped on her jacket. “I’ll set my alarm for their feedings tonight. You should get some sleep.”
“So should you.” Evan picked up the puppy box and walked beside her to the guesthouse. They greeted Luna who was curled on her makeshift bed on the front porch. Now that the dog’s eyes were healing, she preferred to spend her days and nights outside.
Inside, Paige turned on several lamps. Evan set the puppy box near the couch. As if he already knew Paige would sleep on the couch as close as she could to the puppies. She thanked him and showed him to the door.
He turned in the open doorway and faced her. They stood no more than a candy cane distance apart.
“I know you’re used to working nights in Chicago. And you can handle this alone.” His intensely expressive eyes searched her face. “But if you need me for anything, I’m right next door. Tears or not, the door will be open.”
What about your heart? Paige bit the side of her cheek and opted for the lighter side. “Even if I run out of peanut butter chocolates, I can come get you?”
“Yes.” He reached up and freed her ponytail from inside the collar of her jacket. Her hair slid through his fingers. Her heart did a slow free fall. He cupped her cheek in his palm. “I’m here, Paige. For anything.”
Something unlocked inside Paige and she understood. He meant what he said. There was no second-guessing. No underlying meaning. No innuendo she had to translate. She’d spent so many years deciphering and decoding her ex-boyfriend’s every move and every word. But not Evan’s.
She could go to him with anything. How could she not fall for someone like Evan?
Everyone should know they’re loved. If Evan loved her, he would make sure she knew it. And if she loved him, would she still be alone? It wasn’t a risk she was willing to take to find out. “Good night, Evan.”
He pulled away, tucked his hands in his pockets and left.
If only a connection hadn’t been made.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
EVAN FOLLOWED PAIGE and Riley into the log cabin gift shop of Lenox Hill Tree Farm. The trees were loaded into the truck: one nine-foot white pine for the main house and a three-foot potted Leyland cypress for the guesthouse. And another Christmas first was checked off the list.
The debate about a tree in Riley’s bedroom continued as it had during the hour-long drive to the Christmas tree farm. It had picked up again during the edible Christmas tree craft—a sugar ice cream cone coated in green-tinted frosting and topped with sprinkles—and during the cutting down of the tree. Riley hadn’t relinquished her quest. But one more live tree was one more responsibility that Evan wanted to avoid. Riley had good intentions, but she was six and had an entire world to explore every morning. Evan imagined the tree would be barren and the needles littering the floor in her bedroom within a few days. Some Christmas firsts were more complicated than he’d anticipated.
Even now Riley spun from one display to another like a firefly attracted to the glitter and sparkle, sighing over an adorable knickknack or pretty souvenir. Every exclamation was followed by a version of Can we get this, pretty please?
“I think we should put up our ornaments first.” Evan eased a glass bowl from Riley’s hands and pointed to the look-but-don’t-touch sign again. “After our tree is decorated, we can decide if we need more.”
“But we should have more bells.” Riley picked up a star-shaped ring with a large velvet bow and about a dozen red-and-white bells attached. She jingled the bells and laughed.
Paige touched the ribbon. “These hang on your doors and chime whenever they open and close.”
“Like the bell at the Silver Penny.” Riley hugged the bells against her chest and swayed to extend the jingle. “Can we get them, please?”
But their house wasn’t a store. Customers didn’t need to be announced. Evan picked up a palm-sized log reindeer, its legs and antlers handcrafted out of sticks, its body a scrap of round wood. “This is cute.” And even better, noise-free.
Paige picked up the reindeer by its hook. “This looks like something my grandma Opal once made.”
“Then you should get it.” Riley clutched the bells. “To remember her. You can put it on your tree.”
Paige’s stormy gaze skipped from Riley to Evan and held. And in the deep depths he realized the truth. Paige had agreed to get a living tree for the guesthouse, but she’d never planned to decorate it. Never planned to make it her own. That shouldn’t bother him. He’d agreed to plant the tree after she’d left. Ornaments, tinsel and lights would only have to be removed. That was just more work for him. He should be pleased Paige was saving him time. If Paige didn’t want to fully participate in Christmas and make new memories, that shouldn’t bother him either.
Paige hung the reindeer back on the artificial tree and moved down another aisle.
“Don’t you want to remember your grandma?” Riley trailed after Paige. The bells chimed softly around the pair.
“Definitely.” Paige stopped and ran her fingers over a snow globe, framed by gumdrops and cupcakes. A ballerina twirled inside the glass globe, her wand scattering glittery snow over cheerful, cuddly woodland animals. Paige added, “I think about my grandmother every day.”
Evan hovered near the aisle that resembled the life-size version of the candy board game they’d played the other night. Everything on display was gumdrop colored, oversize and twinkling. A fluffy fake snow flocked most of the items from the waist-high lollipop yard decorations to the pretend peppermint garland to the ceramic gingerbread houses. It was the happiest aisle in the log cabin. But Paige looked as if she was immune to the bright colors and the inevitable sugar rush for the eyes.
Riley reverently touched the peppermint candy tree trimming and peered at Paige. “I think about Christmas every day.”
And Evan thought about Paige every day. And every night. Now he’d also think about her being in the guesthouse and then back in Chicago, alone and avoiding the holiday. And something cloying like regret and concern for her made his heart ache.
Paige trailed her fingertips over the smaller collection of snow globes. “My dad told my sister and me that we should always leave a piece of Christmas out.”
“Why?” Riley pushed her star door hanger onto her arm, sliding it up to her elbow.
“So when you see it, you feel the joy of Christmas again in your heart.” Paige placed her palm over her chest. “Then you spread that feeling to others throughout the year.”
She had to allow the joy in first. Yet that wasn’t his problem. He wasn’t a holiday fixer. He was a rancher. One with a houseguest who was leaving very soon. If his houseguest wasn’t happy, that wasn’t his concern, either. He’d given Paige a comfortable cottage to call her own for her stay. He was grateful for her assistance on the ranch. Even more thankful now that his sick stock were improving daily. That was as much as he could care about Paige. Anything more threatened that time-out on love Paige and he had both agreed they’d taken.
“Can I keep something out?” Riley’s fingers smoothed over the red ribbon on a bell door hanger. “Daddy puts all our stuff in the attic, but I don’t get to go in there because it’s not safe.”
“One thing.” Evan held up one finger. “But only one Christmas thing.”
Riley chewed on her lip. “What do you keep out, Ms. Paige?”
“When I was your age, I kept out a snow globe my grandmother gave me.” Paige shook one of the smaller snow globes, setting the snow swirling around a jolly snowman framed in purple-and-pale-green candy canes. She handed it to Riley. “There was a Christmas tree with the prettiest, brightest star on top guiding all the friends of the forest together. Bears, owls, racoons, deer gathered around the tree to decorate and celebrate.”
Riley lightly shook the snow globe. “Was there snow inside?”
“So much.” Paige smiled. Her voice was unguarded. “I used to think the animals wished on that star every time I shook it.”
He imagined a young Paige had wished on that same star. He wanted to know what she’d wished for. Had her wishes come true? Evan’s gaze locked on Paige. “What do you keep out now?”
“Nothing.” The cheerful memory faded from her gaze. Melancholy tinted her eyes, making them a faded brown color like a fallen autumn leaf. “It seems I’ve forgotten my dad’s own tradition.”
“You should keep something out.” Riley handed the snow globe back to Paige. “Then you’ll be happy again too.”
Riley always wished for those she loved to be happy. And Paige had apparently become one of those people. Evan massaged the back of his neck. Riley was simply too young not to allow her heart to get tangled up with Paige. But Evan could establish a hard stop for himself.
“That’s a really good idea.” Paige set the snow globe on the shelf and shifted her attention back to Riley. “What are you thinking about keeping out?”
Evan wanted to raise his hand. Admit he was keeping out all of his suddenly tangled feelings for Paige. Leaving them alone and unexamined.
“The tree in my room.” Riley lifted her arms. The bells on the door hanger chimed even louder.
He had to give his daughter credit for her tenacity. She wasn’t one to give up easily. A skill that would serve her well in life. Except sometimes it was better to let go. Like he would let go of Paige and anything he might feel for her. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. The tree might like to be outside in the ground, spreading its roots and growing bigger. It can’t do that in your bedroom.”
“I could water it.” Riley shifted from one boot to the other. “Sing to it like Grandma sings to her garden.”
Evan searched for something to distract Riley. To turn his daughter’s attention away from having her own tree. His gaze landed on Paige again like it always seemed to do. As if Paige was the answer. And the one they were meant to have in their lives.
“What if you got an artificial tree like this one.” Paige touched the branch of a tabletop, flocked, prelit tree. “Then you could decorate it all year. Eggs for Easter. Flags for the Fourth of July.”
“What about that one?” Riley pointed to a purple tree on a higher shelf and grinned. “It’s my favorite color in the whole world. Just like my daddy is my favorite.”
Evan wanted to hug Paige. Thank her for the sensible solution. And hold her even longer because he wanted to. Because he wanted to know if he could make her happy. Evan stilled and backed away from Paige and his thoughts.
Paige looked to Evan and whispered, “She’s good.”
“Too good, I’m afraid.” Evan looked for an available salesperson and a quick escape.
A few minutes later, Riley set the boxed purple tree on the back seat of the truck, shut the truck door and clapped her hands. “Time for the hayride.”
Riley joined the other kids gathered near the front of the wagon, closer to Santa, who drove the tractor pulling the wagon. Santa gave a hearty welcome and launched into a story about Rudolph’s adventure in the North Pole yesterday.
Evan dropped a fleece blanket over Paige’s lap and settled on the hay bale beside her. He gave in to his curiosity rather than his urge to wrap his arm around her waist and tuck her into his side. “Whatever happened to your snow globe?”
“My ex accidentally broke it.” Paige slipped her hands under the blanket.
Better for Evan. Now he wouldn’t want to hold her hand too. “You don’t sound like you believe it was an accident.”
“Kyle had a certain way he preferred things. An image he liked to present.” Paige’s brow creased. Her tone was brittle around the edges. “Handmade blankets and sentimental trinkets didn’t go well with his aesthetic.”
“But he must have known what the snow globe meant to you.” Evan had his father’s beechwood-handle pocketknife, cowboy hat collection and old guitar displayed in his home office. Every time he looked at the framed family photographs or touched the strings on his dad’s guitar, he was reminded of all the things his dad was. All the things his dad had instilled in him.
