Positively Morbid, page 22
“So, everyone still believes she’s a runaway?”
Ellen blinked at Parker. “Wait, oh my god, no one told you about the note, did they? Sorry, I thought you knew.”
“What?”
“Marta found a note in Calli’s room, in the trash, like she changed her mind about leaving it. It was a goodbye note.”
“What did it say?”
“The usual stuff. You guys suck. I need some time to think. Don’t worry, don’t come after me. I’ll be home soon.”
That was good, right? It pointed to Calli leaving under her own power. Although runaways could quickly become victims, as Parker knew well.
She shivered. “Jess and I are going to look for her on the beach,” she told Ellen.
Ellen nodded. “Marta mentioned that. Good luck! I bet she’s at a friend’s house, though.”
If she has a friend, Parker thought. But she said, “Yeah. You’re probably right. But it’s something to try.”
Ellen shuddered. “I know how you feel. It sucks just sitting around. Oh, hey—Marta canceled everyone except the Holistic Dentists Association. Marta and Petra have been calling the other reservations and offering free upgrades for a later date.”
Parker vaguely remembered the dentists being on the master schedule. “What time are they coming? Never mind, I’ll check the app.”
“Tomorrow lunch, but they’re mostly providing their own activities. I don’t think you have any appointments scheduled until Friday, but you should double-check.”
“Thanks, Ellen.”
Ellen looked back at Marta and lowered her voice. “She’s refusing to think about next week. We’ll have a full load again Monday. If Seth’s not back, or if Cal—” She looked sickened.
“I know,” Parker said. “But I don’t blame her for not wanting to think about it. Worst comes to worst, we’ll all do what we need to do.”
Ellen nodded. “It’s an impossible situation.”
Parker squeezed her arm. “Keep me posted, okay? We’re heading out.”
She told Jess about the note as they descended to the beach. A thick cloud cover had blown in, and the wind was a steady breeze from the south that stung Parker’s eyes. The beach looked so deserted, she began to doubt the plan. There was no one out but a few dog walkers. She and Jess jogged to the jetty, then clambered up and down some of the steep trails that led through the dunes near the lighthouse, hoping for some sign of Calli. Among the line of twisted trees that grew hunched over from the constant wind up along the cliffs, they spotted a couple of tents, but one seemed abandoned, sagging and mildewed, while the other was home to two weathered middle-aged guys who were smoking out front.
Parker called “Calli,” a couple of times, feeling foolish. Her voice was thin and weak in the wind. Even if Calli somehow heard her, if she didn’t want to be found, she’d duck into the next gully or disappear over the crest of a hill, and Parker would never know. The dogs at least seemed hopeful, sniffing excitedly as if about to discover Calli’s trail.
“Should we keep going?” Jess asked, catching his breath.
“There’s a campground with restrooms and showers on the other side of the bridge,” Parker said. “Not far. More dunes and forested trails where it would be easy to evade attention. I don’t know how much money she has. She might be staying at a legit campsite.”
They backtracked up to the road and crossed the bridge over the bay. Cars, trucks, and RVs rushed by, forcing them to hug the rail of the narrow sidewalk. Jess stopped at the apex to gaze out to sea, while far below, a pair of fishing boats made their way toward safe harbor in the marina. “It’s beautiful,” he said.
“Yeah, it is.” Parker looked toward the horizon, away from the merry-go-round of anxious thoughts circling in her head. Jess squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back, grateful that he was with her.
They made their way down the south slope of the bridge and a set of curving concrete stairs. For a moment, South Bay stretched before them; a maze of tiny neighborhoods and curving streets with a myriad of paths where a teenage girl might easily evade notice indefinitely, if she had food, drink, and a blanket.
But checking it out was something no one else was doing, and it felt better than doing nothing. Plus, the dogs were loving it.
Jess and Parker jogged down a paved bike path and diverted into wood-chipped trails through the trees, then wound their way around a sprawling campground populated largely with RVs. There were dogs everywhere, and they stopped frequently for doggie greetings as they traveled the loops. The few tents they saw were on campsites that also had an RV, and they spotted no one between the ages of twelve and thirty-five.
Off the paved paths, they startled mushroom hunters poking around in the scrub, but discovered no secret campsites. A few hardy souls clustered close to the main beach access despite the weather, but as they topped the rise, the long stretch of beach to the south looked barren and deserted.
“I don’t know what to do,” Parker said. “I was thinking we’d go to the headland, but now I’m doubting Calli would have come even this far. It would have seemed daunting unless she came here regularly. She might have been more comfortable on the north side, but here? I’m doubting it.”
He nodded. “Okay. We’ve covered a lot of ground. Let’s head back for today and see if anyone else has news. If there’s nothing by tomorrow, we can always try again.”
“If she’s still gone tomorrow, and it’s voluntary, she’s got to be inside someone’s house or apartment. Two nights outside already, for someone not used to camping, in windy, damp weather? Of course, if it’s not voluntary, all bets are off.”
On the way back, they diverted into town to buy ingredients for dinner. After a chilly day, fish stew, a loaf of bread, and a dark beer sounded perfect. Parker tried to switch gears from thinking about Calli sleeping rough or being held against her will to thinking about spending the evening with Jess. It felt just like the ambivalence of old times, wandering through the woods half-looking for Britt, half enjoying each other’s company.
She was so over her head.
They walked the last few blocks back to the hotel with hands linked, but in silence. After years of living close to the edge, Parker valued stability more than anything. She’d been content and optimistic about slowly growing her client base, beefing up her credentials and experience into something legitimate, and someday, in the distant future, owning her own business.
There was nothing in the plan about romance. There was no room for it, beyond a very hypothetical, shadowy impression of love and marriage and kids in the unimaginable future. Most of the people she grew up with were already there, but Parker’s life had been skewed by murder, and she’d come to terms with having a different path. She’d had to climb out of a pit of morbidity to get where she was, and she was proud of it.
Right?
She snuck a glance at Jess. His cheeks glowed from exertion and the cool, damp air, and his hair held a nimbus of silver droplets. He looked intent and serious, as if he, too, were thinking about big life choices.
“What are you thinking about?” Parker asked.
“I don’t know. Calli, I guess.” He met her eyes. “And us. Back when we were that young and stupid.”
“Is that what we were?”
“Yup, pretty much. Me, anyway. I should have done everything differently.”
What was he regretting? Being with Britt? Being with Parker? Or something worse?
Could she really be falling in love with someone and then feel sudden suspicion at a simple turn of phrase?
Parker released his hand, and they climbed the stairs.
After feeding the dogs, Parker texted Krista while Jess was in the shower.
Parker—Your beach idea struck out—
Krista—No sign of Calli yet?—
Parker—Not on beach, haven’t heard from Marta or cops. Calli left goodbye note in garbage too.—
Krista—In garbage?—
Parker—Maybe she couldn’t get the words right—
Krista—Maybe. Damn—
Parker—Yeah—
Krista—You should check the beach again later tho, or downtown. She’s got to be somewhere—
Parker—Could be anywhere.—
Krista—Where’d you look?—
Parker—All the way down to south bay thru campground—
Krista—Not north?—
Parker—No—
Krista—Try north. Tonight—
Parker—You’re crazy. would be her 3rd night sleeping on beach. she’s got to be at a friend’s. or enemy’s—
Krista—I would try. I should come down—
Parker—You shouldn’t. you have no vacation time yet.—
Jess came out of the shower and started putting the stew together in the kitchen. Parker took her turn under the pounding spray. She tried to rebalance her mind after the unsatisfying exchange with Krista. Hot water ran down her body, relaxing her, and when a layer of disgruntlement had washed off, she thought about Krista again.
She probably wanted Parker to keep checking the beach because that’s where she would have gone at that age. Krista had more empathy for Calli than Parker had given her credit for. Or, Parker thought sourly, Krista just liked to be in the middle of things. It must be hard for her to feel left out. If she were instrumental in helping to find Calli, it would put the spotlight back on her.
Parker rolled her eyes. She’d long ago accepted Krista for who she was. No point getting irritated about it.
The fish stew came out rich, salty, and delicious, with fresh sourdough bread and butter on the side. They ate ravenously, and drank the beer. She told Jess what Krista had suggested.
He shrugged. “We could try. It wouldn’t hurt anything. But I don’t have high hopes.”
Parker thought about the night she’d discovered Ryan’s corpse, when Calli had walked up to her and Mouse at the base of the stairs. She’d come from the north that evening. What if she had a favorite place or a friend up there?
“We should go,” Parker decided. “After I clean up. Just in the name of being thorough.”
At the sink, Jess pulled her close and kissed her, and she had second thoughts. They could stay in tonight, get a fresh start tomorrow. But Mouse looked up at her with enormous eyes, and Parker knew that no matter how much exercise they’d had today, Mouse and Pepper would need a final bathroom break, anyway. They might as well make it a full walk up the beach. The bed wasn’t going anywhere, after all. Even though Jess was. Tomorrow or the next day or the day after.
She refused to think about that right now, and they bundled back up a little more warmly. Some of the overcast had cleared, but Parker brought a flashlight, just in case. They descended the fire escape, then made their way carefully down the cliff stairs.
Parker had received a text that there would be a staff meeting to prepare for the dentists Ellen had mentioned, but she wondered if any of it would happen. Without Seth and with Calli still gone, what would Marta do? What should she do? She had to pay the bills, but it would be impossible to act as if it were business as usual.
What if Calli never came home, but ran off to Los Angeles or Mexico or joined a cult, and Marta and Seth just had to move on? They wouldn’t, Parker was certain. They would hire a private detective or a deprogrammer or whatever was necessary to get their girl back. Which was why disappearance was so poisonous. They would be unable to rest until they had an answer other than a crumpled note.
Parker bumped Jess’s hip with hers. “Nice out here, huh?”
“Gorgeous,” he agreed, but he was looking into her face.
She blushed. Too mushy for her taste. She yelled, “Come on!” and they scrambled down the slope of the sand toward the water, the dogs leaping in joy. Unlike Jess and Parker, they continued straight into the ocean until Parker yelled, “Mouse! Get back here!” They’d both need a good toweling and brushing tonight, but the panting grins on their faces were worth it.
Jess said, “So, north?”
“Yeah. Let’s get away from the water, walk closer to the cliff. There are more places to camp up there. I’ve noticed a bunch of little driftwood shelters, too, though I wouldn’t want to sleep in one.”
They walked briskly to fight the chill, watching for beached logs and rocks in the gathering gloom. Above, the first stars appeared between cloud formations and Parker was trying to find the Big Dipper when Jess suddenly said, “Is that a bonfire?”
The glow was nearly hidden by a fold in the sandstone cliff near a creek that threaded across the beach to empty into the ocean. “Looks like it. A campfire, anyway. It’s pretty small.”
They slowed to a stroll. The dogs explored the scents along the edge of the beach more thoroughly. Parker clipped on Mouse’s leash in case there was food or another dog near the fire. As they approached, faces turned toward them. Eight or ten teens, in hoodies and warm jackets, sat on logs that had been dragged into a rough triangle with cans and bottles upright in the sand at their feet. A couple were making out on a plaid blanket off to one side. Parker got a whiff of pot, but it blew away on the salty breeze. No one looked familiar in the flickering light.
“Hey,” Parker called out.
The kids quieted and someone said, “Hey.”
“We’re looking for a friend. You guys know Calli?”
They shrugged.
“She’s got green hair and she’s about as tall as me. She wears a lot of black,” Parker said.
“Oh yeah, I seen her at Starbucks a lot. She’s with that blonde girl,” a kid in a yellow beanie said indifferently.
Parker’s heart sped up. “What blonde girl? What did she look like?”
“Like, blonde hair, longish. Kind of normal looking. I don’t know, I wasn’t, like, staring at them.”
“When did you see them? Today?”
“Nah. It was a while ago.”
Frustrated, Parker bit her lip and looked at Jess.
He said, “She ever hang out with you guys?”
A couple of the kids shook their heads. The two on the blanket sat up and pulled away from each other. Neither of them had green hair, either.
Parker said, “You see her anytime recently?”
Yellow Hat shrugged.
“If you see her again, could you tell her please contact Parker?”
“Sure, whatever.”
As they turned away, the kids’ voices picked up again, a couple of them rising into laughter.
Discouraged, Parker said, “There might be a dozen girls with green hair in this town.”
“It’s a pretty small town. And most of them wouldn’t be so tall,” Jess said. “You never know, it might be her.”
“Yeah, and now we can expand our hunt to include a normal-looking girl with long blonde hair,” Parker said wryly. “Useful.”
He squeezed her hand. They continued in silence to the cliff that marked the headland between this stretch of beach and the next. A lighthouse cut a shining beam over the ocean.
“Damn,” Parker said.
“It was a good walk,” Jess offered.
“I got my hopes up for a minute there. I’ll have to tell Krista we almost got a lead, thanks to her.”
On the way back, the kids were gone, the fire covered with sand. In front of TBI, Parker and Jess stopped and looked up. A few bare windows provided a clear view into the gold-lit rooms beyond. Parker located her balcony, the room beyond the wide sliding door lit dimly by a nightlight. A dark figure was silhouetted against the glass.
Parker caught her breath. The break-in Calli had confessed to had receded in importance in Parker’s mind. But if someone was there now, could it be Calli again? It was impossible to discern details this far away. As she squinted upwards, the silhouette narrowed and disappeared into the gloom beyond the glass.
“What is it?” Jess asked.
“Someone’s up there. In my apartment,” Parker said.
He followed her gaze. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. What if it’s Calli?” She was frozen, wondering why Calli would be there, how she could have gotten in again, whether to call Marta or Detective Balderas or just rush upstairs.
Pepper yipped impatiently. Jess stuffed Pepper’s leash into Parker’s hand. “Only one way to find out,” he said, and took the first four steps in a single leap before racing upward.
“But—” Parker protested, too slow. Jess was halfway up already. She looked around for Mouse, who was sniffing a tangle of seaweed twenty yards back. “Mouse!” she called, and lifted Pepper into her arms.
Something caught her eye, in a place her eyes tried to skip over but were magnetically drawn to. Something green, and knitted, and shaped like a frog, tossed like refuse in the scrub next to the turn of the wooden stairwell.
“Jess!” Parker cried, but her voice was small and strangled. Mouse arrived, panting, and stood at her side. Parker stepped forward, then again, to bring the cave under the stairs into view, where Ryan’s body had been hidden only days before.
Thumping footsteps alerted her that Jess had returned. “What’s wrong?” he demanded.
No body, only a hat. Only Calli’s hat.
Parker took a breath, heart pounding so hard her chest quaked, and pointed. “That’s Calli’s hat. I’m sorry, it’s okay, there’s nothing else here. Go, go up, I’m coming too. We have to catch her.”
Jess looked torn. He glanced up at the windows high above. “We should call the cops,” he said. “They’ll want to see this.”
“We will,” Parker said. “But go! Hurry! I’ll be right behind you.”
With a last uncertain look, he turned and raced up again, his footfalls shaking the stairs.
“Stay back. Stay!” she commanded Pepper. She wasn’t sure if he could be trusted, but when she placed him next to Mouse, he sat and looked at her alertly.
Parker kicked through the sand in the low-ceilinged nook under the stairs, finding nothing, not even cigarette butts, thanks to the cops’ recent evidentiary cleanup. She edged back out, skirting the hat, and peered into the scrubby brush along the cliff side. Not spotting anything manmade except for a crumpled pop can so old she couldn’t tell what kind it was. She picked the hat up gingerly, by one of its froggy eyes, and looked underneath. Nothing but sand. She shook it gently to see if anything fell out, but nothing did.
