O B S I D I a N, page 8
“Well, I think you’ve been attracting the wrong type of girls. Chelsea was trying to tell me about a spark or an instant connection you feel when you meet someone. Did you ever feel that with your exes?”
Cherrie is right. I’ve never felt that with my exes. The first person I felt like was only with her. We already feel like we fit together. Two puzzle pieces with the right shape and molds. “I have never felt that with them.” I replied to her.
“Have you felt that with anyone before?” Cher asks.
“Yes. More recently.” I admit, but I’m not going to say it’s her. That’s too soon.
“Well, maybe you should try it with that person. They may be your partner, or as Chelsea calls it, your ‘soulmate’.”
“I might, but I’m not sure yet. Have you ever felt that?”
“Oh. So, you want this to be the question I answer, or do you want me to talk about my past relationships?”
“Good point.” I chuckle, “Please tell me about your past relationships.”
“That’s what I thought.” She gives me a sad smile, “Brace yourself. It’s not going to be pretty.”
“I’m bracing myself for impact.”
“My first ex was an alumnus from my high school. He would always visit to assist the sports coaches. I believe alumni should not be able to visit high schools anymore for the sole reason that it affects the minds of young adolescent girls. One of the effects of this would be someone you’re looking at.” She sighs. “I was attracted to someone years older than me. He played me by pretending not to give me the time of day. He strung me along, and I believed this was true love. He took my first everything away and never put a label on anything between us. I became a text message away from him, only for him to sexually abuse me. It was emotionally and sexually abused. I was numb. He coerced me into constantly sleeping with him, he took me away from all of my friends, and he manipulated me. I think I was groomed by him. This happened for four years until I met my last ex, who saved me from this relationship. He taught me what friendship was by driving hours to drop me off some bubble milk tea or drop off food for me. I mistakenly took it for actions of love. In reality, I think he was my savior, but it wasn’t love.”
I am currently shocked by all of this information she is telling me. Cherrie, who is angelic, sweet, and intelligent was groomed by a heartless fool who couldn’t accept her for who she was. An asshole who manipulated her, abused her, and forced their way into her heart did not deserve to live on this Earth. I’m angry and upset. I feel my hands turn into a fist at my sides and I feel the blood rushing from my veins. I was right about wanting to protect her. If I could find out her abuser’s information, I would rip him to shreds to ensure he never sees the sunlight again.
“I ended up leaving my last relationship by lying. I just couldn't be with him anymore because I definitely didn’t love him but didn’t know how to break up with him. He believed there wasn’t anything wrong, but there were red flags everywhere. My last ex had anger management issues. My love life has been a spiraling trend of emotional whirlwinds.” She’s about to cry and I see it. It’s torture to not be able to amend her past for her, and only being able to listen. I want to support her and be her rock for when she has these moments of vulnerabilities.
“Cher, I’m not sure what to say. I can’t erase your past and I can’t tell you that they weren’t wrong. What I can say is, you’ve done nothing wrong. You were innocent, pure, and a developing mind. You’re a strong, independent girl and they took advantage of you. Those fuckers are heartless beings and I truly want to beat them to a pulp.” I take a deep breath and swallow. “If you ever need anyone, for emotional support, I’m here for you. I’ve been through my shitty relationships, and it sucks being alone when you’re dealing with so much. I’m just glad to have met you now. You’re an amazing person, and I wouldn’t want you to change yourself for anyone.”
“Thank you, Roman. Truly. That’s what my therapist used to say to me, too.”
“I know it took a lot of courage to tell a stranger all of that, but I’m here for you. I’m not judging you.” I try to reassure her. I genuinely want to be there for her.
“Thank you, Roman. I’m trying my best and I’m changing for myself and no one else. I felt comfortable telling you. There’s a strange feeling I have that I can trust you with this side of me.”
“I’m glad you can, Cher. I really am.”
“I’m just hoping it explains how anxious I’ll seem sometimes, or that I panic and overthink the smallest things. I’ve been told that my train of thought is obscure, and my collection of toys and items make people stray away from me. I know I go in circles or I’m unconfident with my decisions, but that’s what makes me Cherrie.”
She gives me a big smile, which melts my heart. Without a second thought, my hand reaches out to hold hers. “You are unique and special, Cherrie. In a wonderful, good way. You make others gravitate towards you and you make everyone laugh.”
“I wish that were the case. I don’t have friends to save me in times of need.”
“You don’t need superficial friends, Cherrie. I’m also your friend, now. I’ll be there for you in your time of need.”
“Thanks again, Roman. Sorry, I didn’t intend for this to become a pity party. I just… I felt like I should tell you.”
“You can stop with the ‘thank you’. You’re absolutely welcome, Cherrie. Anytime you need anyone, I’m here. I also want to murder all those people who’ve hurt you.”
Cherrie gives an awkward laugh. “Thank you, but no, thank you. My therapists have helped me move on from it, but it doesn’t stop the nightmares and the trauma from reoccurring. Certain things trigger me and make me afraid to trust again.”
“I know, sunshine. I know. We can slowly walk through the path towards trusting again.”
Cherrie smiles at me again, and I know she is my sunshine. Through a stormy, foggy, day, her smile can make the light shine through.
“Okay. What’s your next question?” She asks, while bringing her cup back to her mouth.
“What’s your ideal type of partner?”
Cher starts laughing and uses her hand to cover her mouth. “We are really getting into it now, aren’t we?”
“An eye for an eye. You asked a very forward question, and I’m deciding to do the same.”
“That’s fair. I think my ideal partner would be someone who doesn’t mind showering me with affection. I want someone who will protect me in a dark alleyway, who buys me random things not out of duty, but because it reminds them of me. I want to be able to share my food with them and go halfsies on a lot of meals because I like to try food. I also want to travel with them, make things do things they’d not normally do and vice versa. My ideal partner would also need a penis. Oh, and be incredibly attractive.”
I start laughing. “Penis? Check.”
“Well, I don’t know if you have one or not. I can’t just take your word for it.” She gives me a tempting look, which I know doesn’t mean anything.
“You can find out for yourself eventually.”
“Deal.” Deal? Did she just say deal? What happened to going slow? God, I hope I don’t get excited from this conversation.
“My ideal type would be someone who is incredibly attractive, smart, and outgoing. I want someone who will comfort me and be there for me when I need them. I also want to be seen for who I am, not for my reputation or income. I’m hoping to find a girl I could be myself around at all times. I don’t want to keep a front up and pretend to be something I’m not.” I might be naming the opposite traits of Michelle, but I also might be naming Cherrie.
“Sounds like the perfect girl!” She exclaims. Yeah, you are, Cherrie. “I think we should make our way back home now. I’m sorry for cutting it short. We didn’t make it to twenty questions!”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just need to go home to check up on Basil. I don’t like leaving her alone for too long. I think she deserves better than that.”
My car is parked further than hers, so I decide to walk her to her car. She clicks her button to unlock her car, and I naturally open her driver’s side for her.
“Thank you. You are way too nice.” She stares at me and grins.
“I’m not that nice but thank you. So, can we meet again?” I ask.
“I think I need to reply to your message from Hooked.”
“And your answer?”
“Let’s meet next Saturday for a game day.” With that answer, she steps into her car, and I close the car door. She gives me a small wave, and I start walking towards my car.
Date number one: success.
Chapter 11
Roman
This week has been the slowest week ever. Or I just might be overly excited for my next date with Cherrie on Saturday. I wish Saturday would get here fast, but nonetheless, it’s only Tuesday. I was barely functioning at work yesterday because I was lacking sleep. I’ve spent the past few nights replaying my date with Cher ranging from our conversations, her smile, to her laughter endlessly playing in my head. I’m also replaying what I’ve learned about her in front of the bubble tea shop. I’m still questioning how Cherrie became a bright, warm person from the endless manipulative fuckers she has encountered. I’m thankful for her existence in my life, because if those fuckers were still dating her, I’d give them a reason to leave.
I’m currently at the Burbank Airport, waiting to board my flight to San Francisco, California. I have a sandwich in my hand from the convenience store, and my stomach has been grumbling. I had quickly parked my car in the parking structure and ran towards my gate. Since I haven’t been sleeping well, I accidentally dozed off this morning when I should have been getting ready for my business trip. Resulting in a hungry Roman, with messy hair and a suit that needs to be ironed. I look for an available seat and drop my suitcase on the floor next to the seat. I quickly unveil my sandwich from the plastic and take a quick bite. I open a bag of jalapeno chips and shove them in my mouth. Tastes like airport food.
As I’m swallowing my food, I check my phone for emails. Nothing I haven’t answered or looked at already. I opened up my conversation with Cherrie. Also, nothing since a message from our date on Saturday.
Cherrie: Thanks for today! See you on Saturday!
I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to respond to that since her message already ended the conversation. I’m teetering between being clingy, being supportive, or keeping my distance and letting her come to me. I have yet to explain to her my intentions and I keep thinking of what the right timing for that should be. Perhaps, I could talk to her on Saturday as we are arguing over who gets to play what character.
I finish the rest of my sandwich and discard the crust and my empty bag of chips. It was perfect timing because my plane is ready for boarding.
-
“Mr. Perez, we are so glad you could make it to our meeting on such short notice.” Says the facility manager of some building I don’t recall.
“The pleasure is all mine, sir. Glad I could be of assistance.” I give him my award-winning smile. The thing about business is, it’s solely business. Anyone who tries to win your heart or be extra kind to you, is only pretending to be for their own intentions. It’s seldom that someone has a good heart in the business world.
I am having a business conference in one of the hotel lobbies in the Bay area. It’s a nice hotel, but nothing special enough for me to remember it fondly. I am here for work, and it is always the case. I’m walking towards the conference room, and I get situated in one of the tables in the corner. My table has a water bottle, a pen, and a notepad readily available. There is a brunch buffet laid out on the table beside mine, for a quick meal before the meeting starts. I glimpse over the food and decide on a banana with oatmeal to suffice with the food I’m currently digesting.
“All right, everyone. Let us begin our meeting now. The time is 11:31 a.m. and we have operators from all over California joining us. Thank you for your time and efforts to join us today.”
I start zoning out from the speakers, although my pen is waving around, mimicking the action of taking notes. That’s what it’s like to be in this type of business. A lot of my actions are for show, although I’m a crucial role and my work isn’t easy. The amount of overtime I generally do for work is painful. Many of my exes didn’t understand how much time I needed to devote myself to work. My brain always goes back to my past experiences with love and how having a partner seems to help fuel my busy life.
“We seem to have concerns with the number of nurses. We don’t have enough staff to….”
Only an hour more until we have a meal break. I think I’m just going to message Cherrie. It wouldn’t hurt to just make a conversation with her, right? No use in just sitting here and waiting when I could do something about it. Slow isn’t equivalent to not talking at all.
Me: Hey Cher. What are you doing today?
Perfect. Something simple and not engaging in anything. I’m just making light conversation with her without malice. My conversation with her is still open and I start seeing the thought bubbles pop up.
Cherrie: Just reading a book. What about you?
Me: What book are you reading? I’m sitting in a boring conference meeting.
Cherrie: Sounds like work! I am reading a romance novel that you probably have never heard about.
Me: That sounds very Cherrie.
My phone stops notifying me of messages. Cherrie has stopped replying, maybe because I didn’t give her anything to reply to. Have I always been an ass at texting? I’ve never been told otherwise. I also haven’t had the need to court a girl in so long. I might need to change it or add another topic for discussion.
Me: I want to start reading. Please enlighten me, sunshine. How do I start?
Thought bubbles immediately start appearing. Bingo. I caught her.
Cherrie: We start by seeing what type of stories interest you! What makes you want to start reading?
Me: You.
I start deleting that message and type an actual answer to her question.
Me: I think I need a new hobby.
Cherrie: I don’t want books to get lonely because you don’t have time to read them. You might enjoy audiobooks more, not saying you can’t buy a book… but maybe we can figure out a new hobby for you.
Me: Yeah, you’re right. I dread reading. Perhaps, you can help me with a hobby.
Cherrie: I accept this mission.
I am smiling at my phone when the voices in the conference grow eerily quiet.
“Mr. Perez. Does this mean you like the idea, too?”
“My apologies. I was smiling at the plan you announced, but I need to go over the finer details. Do you mind elaborating on the idea?”
“Yes, sir. So, we believe the company could start…”
Chapter 12
Cherrie
I keep replaying the date I had with Roman in my head. I’m not sure if I was in the right mind or not when I announced it to him, I wanted to take things slow, because I ended up telling him my depressing stories of my ex-boyfriends! What was I thinking? I probably wasn’t. Something in my gut was telling me to trust this man with my secrets and fears, and I just went with the flow of the conversation. Granted, he was very sweet and reassuring with the entire situation. I’ve had many people dismiss my experiences or start telling me their experiences were worse, but Roman was very understanding. He seemed angry with me, and it seemed as if he genuinely wanted to protect me from the wicked people in the world.
I have a strange feeling that I can trust him, and we can develop a deeper connection. This might be the spark Chelsea was trying to tell me about. Something strange is telling me Roman isn’t a bad guy, he’s not like the rest, and that we have much more in common than what’s on the surface. I want to commit to this guy if he’s willing to try with me. But… I did tell him I want to take things slow. Is that why I haven’t received a message from him in days? What makes it worse is the fact that he doesn’t have social media so I can’t see what he’s doing or what else he’s interested in. I think I should text him first since I’m the one who has been making all the shot calls.
Turns out I don’t need to do anything because he just texted me first.
Roman: Hey Cher. What are you doing today?
Isn’t he at work? Usually when someone initiates this question, it means they want to hang out or they have a follow up question. I’m not ready to hang out. I thought we made plans for Saturday! I should play it cool and wait to see if he wants to do something today. I’ll tell him I’m reading a book when I’m actually wallowing in self-pity in my bed.
Roman: I think I need a new hobby.
Ultimately, Roman wasn’t initiating anything. I guess I shouldn’t have assumed he wanted to see me already when we agreed on plans for a later date. Roman has stated he wants a new hobby, and I decided it will be my mission to introduce him to something fun that he could do in his limited free time. What could that be? I don’t think he is into arts and crafts like I am, but he could try. He did say he was good with his hands…
Roman: I’m glad you’ve accepted this mission. I’ve started to think you’ve forgotten about me.
Me: No! Why would I forget about you? I’m excited for Saturday.
Roman: Me, too. What time did you want to come over?
Me: What’s a good time for you? I can make the drive whenever.
Roman: How’s lunchtime sound?
Me: Sure! That works. Send me the address, please.
