Mr. Almost, page 15
“They are too small, though, honey. We need them to cover the entire wound.”
“We could put more than one on it. Please, Daddy. I really want the kitty.”
What would Olivia do? I could call her, but I don’t want her to worry. Ari is okay now, and I can handle this. I can make this decision.
If I put like six on it, they will be covered. So I conceded.
“Okay. Grab two boxes, though,” I tell her, letting her grab the boxes.
These marketing people know what they are doing. The plain Band-Aids are all at the top, while the cartoon and character ones are at kid height. All so the kids can sucker parents into spending twice the money on the character ones and getting fewer Band-Aids.
Anything to keep the smile on Ari’s face.
Next, I grab some antibacterial ointment and some gauze to clean it. Then I go to the register with Ari.
“Well, what happened here?” the nice older lady asks.
Ari smiles up at her. “I got hurt, but Daddy makes it better.”
I feel like a damn superhero at that. I made her feel better.
“Oh, that’s good to hear. We all get a little bump from time to time, but it’s important to have a daddy to make it all better.”
“I think so too.”
I pay the woman, taking the bag.
“Do you have a bathroom I could clean this in?” I ask.
She nods. “In the back.”
Taking Ari to the men’s room, I prop her on the sink. Then I take the soap, cleaning the wound with the gauze. She winces, and her lips wobble, but she is brave. I’m so proud of her. When I apply the ointment, one tear gets free while she sniffles, but she stays still and quiet. When I finally put all of the Band-Aids on and kiss it, she takes a deep breath. Then she smiles at me.
“Much better, Daddy. I love you.”
My heart stutters. “I love you too, baby girl.”
I hug her to me before kissing the top of her head. Then I set her down on the floor, cleaning up our mess. As we make our way out of the store, she waves at the cashier, who smiles and waves back.
At the car, she proudly shows Thomas her pretty Band-Aids. He gushes over it like it’s the best thing he has ever seen. It makes me glad I hired him. He’s a good guy.
“Ice cream now?” Ari asks.
I nod, buckling her in. Ari chats about nothing as we make our way over to the parlor. I love listening to her talk. Sometimes she asks for my input, but she is also content just talking to herself. It’s sweet to listen to the innocence of a child. Makes me want to protect her even more.
“How about we get ice cream to go? Mommy will be home soon. We can get her some too.”
“Good idea, Daddy.”
After ordering her a cone and two pints for Olivia and me, we are headed back home. I cringe when the ice cream melts everywhere, but Thomas assures me it’ll be fine. Still, when he drops us off at home, I hand him several hundred dollars and tell him to get it detailed on me. He graciously takes the money.
Escorting my little princess up the stairs, I think about what a great day we had. How I can’t wait to have another one with her. I might have to take all of the holidays off to spend with her.
Opening the door, I call out, “Honey, we’re home.”
“Where have you guys been?” Olivia asks, coming around the corner with a smile on her face.
That is, until she sees Ari’s knee.
“What the hell happened?” She is in front of Ari in a second.
She’s looking up at me angrily as she looks at all the Band-Aids.
“I fell, but I’m okay, Mommy.”
“At the park?” Olivia asks.
“Yep. Can I go play now?” Ari asks.
“Of course.”
As soon as Ari is gone, Olivia turns on me.
“My daughter gets hurt, and you don’t even have the decency to call and let me know? What the fuck, Mason? This is not okay.”
“Whoa, calm down. She has a little scrape. I washed it and put ointment on it, then bandaged her up. It wasn’t that serious.”
I must say the wrong thing somewhere in that statement because she looks as if steam could be coming out of her ears.
“Calm down? Don’t you dare tell me to calm down. That’s my child. I have a right to be upset about this. I trusted you with her, and she got hurt on your watch. Not only that, but you didn’t bother to tell me. Instead, you tell me it’s not that serious. I guess my daughter doesn’t matter that much to you if it’s not that serious. How did she even end up falling? Weren’t you watching her? This is why I should have stayed home. This wouldn’t have happened.”
I can feel my own anger rising with each word. Her daughter. Not our. She is acting like I’m some babysitter who fucked around and let her kid get hurt, but it’s not her kid. She’s ours. Arianna is as much my daughter as hers. I might not be on the birth certificate, but if she wants to keep this up, I will go through with getting added. I thought we were making progress, but I guess I was wrong.
Here I am, falling in love with Olivia and seeing a family with her, and all she sees me as is some incompetent asshole who is only a part-timer in her life.
Realizing this, I say the words before I can even consider what they mean.
“I can’t keep living like this, Livvy. I want you, but you have one foot out the door. You’re waiting for me to mess up, and when I do, you are ready to crucify me for it. I’m not perfect. Ari got hurt, but I took care of it. If you can’t trust me to be her father, then I can’t do this with you anymore.”
The look on her face is a punch to the gut, but those words ring true in my heart.
I can’t have her ready to bolt. That’s not a healthy relationship.
As much as I want her, Ari is too important.
So for Ari, I have to let Olivia go.
Seventeen
“If you can’t trust me to be her father, then I can’t do this with you anymore.”
His words are like a shot to my heart. My eyes start to tear up.
He’s not wrong. I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel like everything with him has been too simple. Like it’s the fantasy I always had of us being a family. I can’t trust it. The way he makes me feel is scary. I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want Ari to lose him.
“So you’re leaving us?” I whisper.
He growls, “I will never leave my daughter. I don’t want to leave you, Livvy, but you’re treating me like I’m an interloper in your life, though. One second you tell me you trust me and that I’m Ari’s father. Then the next you are calling her your daughter and acting like I’m some villain out to hurt her. I’m here, Livvy. I have been here. I will be here. If we can’t make this work with me and you, it will be what it is, but I won’t leave our daughter. I will always be here for her. I won’t stop being her father. You are going to have to be okay with that. I have given you time to come to terms with me being here, but I’m done. I won’t have you making me feel like I’m less than you in parenting her. We are equals.”
He’s angry. I get why. I have been treating him like a boyfriend coming into our lives. I’ve been hesitant because of the past. He has done nothing but show me that he’s here for our daughter. For me, even. I’ve just been too stubborn to let go of that fear.
“You’re right,” I find myself saying. “I’m sorry. I fucked this all up.”
I turn away from him, wiping my eyes. He’s at my back in a second, pulling me into his arms.
“Livvy, I am falling so fast for you. I have been. I want this with us. I want to be the man you need. Everything I’ve said about us is true. If I have to choose, though, I will choose Ari every time. I might be falling in love with you, but she’s part of my soul. I won’t let her go, no matter what.”
“I wouldn’t want you to. That’s been my biggest fear. That you would leave when things get hard.”
“What do I have to do to prove to you that I won’t leave? Tell me and I’ll do it,” he pleads.
I let my head fall back on his chest. “I don’t think there is anything you can do. This isn’t a you issue. It’s me.”
He turns me in his arms, looking me in the eye. “It’s an us issue. You’re not alone anymore. I’m here. Use me.”
“Just keep being there. I’ll work harder on letting go of some of the control. I never wanted to make you feel like I was claiming her as only mine. She is our daughter. It’s just taking me some time to get used to remembering that.”
“Take all the time you need, but talk to me. You can’t blow up on me like you did today. I get that you were scared. You didn’t know what happened. Trust me, I was scared when it happened. I looked away for a second, and she had fallen. I think I died for a second. Then it was like it just clicked in what I needed to do.”
“Why did she have like six Band-Aids?” I ask.
“She insisted the kitty ones made her feel better. I couldn’t say no. It’s just a scrape. She probably only needed them for a few hours, honestly. I’m sorry I didn’t call.”
“No, you were right. It wasn’t your fault. It could have happened to me too. She wasn’t hurt enough to go to the hospital. I get that you meant that when you said it wasn’t serious. I just panicked. I’m not used to depending on anyone, and I’m sorry for making it sound like I don’t trust you because I do.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s really not. Are we okay, though?”
He pulls me in for a quick hug. “We will be.”
“I’d like to go check on her, though, if that’s okay.”
“Of course.”
Walking to her room, I find her sleeping on the floor. I feel the moment Mason moves in behind me.
“Seems she was exhausted. Let me move her to the bed.”
I watch as he walks into the room, picking her up. He tucks her into bed before kissing her forehead. Then he comes back to the door.
“I’ll be in the kitchen.”
Heading into the room, I check her over before kissing her too.
“I love you, Bug.”
Leaving her night light on, I close her door as I walk back out into the main area. Mason is leaning against the counter, waiting for me like he said.
He always does what he says. Why do I always question him?
I’m tired of being in this constant state of doubt. He said he was falling in love with me, but the truth is, I’m already there. I love him.
I can’t say the words, but I can show him.
Moving to stand in front of him, I put my hands on his shoulder. His hands find my hips easily. Then I lean up and kiss him.
For a moment, he doesn’t move, but when I swipe my tongue on his bottom lip, he opens up for me. Then he is devouring me.
Within the span of several seconds, he spins us, pinning me against the counter. Then he picks me up, setting my ass on the edge of it.
“Livvy, you’re killing me,” he growls. “All I want is you and our kid. I need you to get on the same page with me.”
I kiss his cheek, then his neck. “I’m here. On the page. Let me show you.”
I pull his T-shirt up and over his head, my hands trailing on his chest. He shivers at my touch, making me want to do it more. My lips find his again as my fingers explore. Then they find his pants. I work to quickly undo them.
“Wait, Ari is in the other room,” he whispers.
“She’s sleeping. She didn’t even react when you moved her. If we are quiet, we will be fine.”
“That’ll be a challenge,” he murmurs, licking the shell of my ear.
“Oh, you don’t think you can be quiet?” I tease, shoving my hand down the front of his pants to palm his erection.
“Oh, Livvy honey. I still remember the way I made you scream the first time. It’s not me I’m worried about.”
I remember that night very well. He’s right. I screamed until my voice was hoarse. Then, more recently, he used his mouth to do the same. I very well might be the problem.
I don’t want to stop, though.
“You’ll just have to find ways to keep me quiet,” I tell him.
He growls, pushing me back. I think he is about to leave, but instead, he starts pulling my clothes off like a man on a mission. Then he pulls his own off. Once we are both naked, he looks like he is ready to eat me.
“Not today, sir. We don’t have much time. I don’t think Ari will stay asleep for more than an hour. Grab a condom. I put some in the top of the cabinet above the fridge.”
He quirks an eyebrow at me. “When did you do this?”
I slap his chest. “Go.” As he starts moving, I tell him the truth. “After the night at your place. I wanted to be prepared. I love Ari, but we are not ready for another one.”
He comes back, opening the condom. He slips it on before moving between my legs again. Then he kisses me.
“I’d handle a million babies from you.”
“Sweet sentiment, but no thank you. Now make me scream.”
He smirks at me. “Sure thing.”
His hand clamps down on my mouth at the same time he thrusts inside me. I swear I see stars at the sensation. The only thing I’ve had inside me since him is my fingers and a couple of toys. I forgot how good a real cock feels. I moan behind his hand, making him chuckle.
“Should’ve brought duct tape,” he jokes.
Before I can retort, he’s thrusting in and out of me at a steady pace.
“I wanted the first time we had sex again to be romantic, but you said we have to be quick, so quick it is,” he murmurs against the side of my head, his hand still firmly on my mouth.
I try to keep my noises low, but he feels too good. He angles my hips so he’s hitting my G-spot while his pelvic bone is rubbing against my clit. It’s an attack of the sensations, especially with his mouth sucking and licking my neck.
It doesn’t take me long. Less than five minutes before I come hard. His name is on my lips, not that he can hear it. All he can hear is muffled moans behind his hand. I won’t lie, the fact that it limited my breath made me even hotter.
Seconds after me, I feel him jerk inside. He lets out a manly moan, low and growly, in my ear. Then he bites me softly on my neck, trying to muffle it.
It’s the single hottest moment of my life.
When he’s done, he pulls back and kisses me on my lips.
“Stay here. Let me clean you up.”
He heads into the bathroom, coming out with a washcloth. He wipes between my legs, making sure to get the lube from the condom all off. Then he helps me down from the counter.
“I’ll order dinner. Anything specific you want?”
I smile up at him. “Whatever you want.”
Then I head into the bathroom to change.
I look back, smiling as he puts his phone to his ear while he pulls his pants on.
I almost fucked this up today.
I won’t do that again.
Mason is my future.
Our future.
“Did you get the invitation to the meeting at the foundation?” Max asks as soon as he steps into my office.
Of course she’s trying to rope him into this now. My mother has been trying to get me to agree to a meeting with her for two weeks now. I have no desire to see her, though. I’m still unsure how I feel about everything that’s happened up to this point.
Prior to finding out about Arianna, I would have said I loved my mother unconditionally. She had her issues, but she was my mother. I knew she loved me. I chalked all the crazy shit she did up to her trying to do what she felt was best for me.
That started to change the day I found out that she tried to pay Olivia off to abort our child. I don’t think it really clicked in my head at first what she really did. The more time I have to think about it, though, the angrier I get.
I can’t imagine a world without my sunshine of a daughter in it. Knowing that my mother almost robbed me of the chance to know her has done more to our relationship than I initially believed.
“I got it, and I declined. She’s been sending them to me for weeks. She tried to come back here last week, but security refused to let her in. I think she realizes I’m serious about all of this.”
Max takes a seat in front of my desk. “I worry about her mental state sometimes, especially since Dad died and he isn’t here to talk her down. She is so high-strung and feels like she needs to control every part of our lives. Yours more than mine even.”
“I guess I didn’t really realize that until Olivia came back. I mean, I always knew she was a bit demanding, but I figured it was just because Dad died. I thought she would eventually chill out, but she has only gotten worse now that Olivia is here. God, I miss him.”
“I do too.”
We fall silent in our shared moment of grief.
He shakes his head and clears his throat. “She does seem to have an unexplainable hatred for Olivia. I just can’t believe she actually kept the fact that Olivia was pregnant from you. She really believes that she was looking out for you.”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter what she believes. She refuses to accept her now, so I can’t have her in our lives. I’m not even sure I’m ready to forgive her yet. Part of me feels like since she’s our mother, our blood, I should be able to forgive her, but then I remember the things she’s said about my daughter. It was bad enough hearing her talk about Olivia the way she does, but I get it. She’s a girl I’m dating. I even get her being cautious that Olivia claimed Ari was mine. With the lives we live, it was a solid concern, but if she had taken five minutes out of her day, she would have realized that Olivia was being genuine. For Christ’s sake, the woman rarely lets me spend money on either of them and won’t let me pay her back child support. Last I checked, that’s the exact opposite of what a gold digger would do.” I shake my head.
Max chuckles. “I don’t think Olivia has the time to put a plan into place to try to trap someone. The woman doesn’t have an evil bone in her body.”
“Exactly, you get it! I draw the line at her speaking negatively about my daughter, though. She is my flesh and blood. My everything now. If she can’t accept that, then I have no place for her anymore. Blood or not, that is my hard limit.”
