“Your animal is like a magical guide, there is a connection between your animal guide and yourself, which is unlike any connection I’ve ever felt. Well, not ever…” He looks me up and down, licking his lips, his eyes turn dark and glaze over.

  “What do you mean?”

  He physically shakes himself. “Nothing, never mind, sorry.”

  “Okay…" My brows draw together. I don't know what all that was about, but I'm just going to act like he didn't just stare at me like I was a meal. "So you want me to try to find my animal?”

  "Yes."

  “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “Close your eyes and do your calming breathing.” He simply sits there and stares at me, and I realize he’s waiting for me to do as he says. “Okay.” I close my eyes and breathe through my nose and out of my mouth. “Now what?”

  “Look inside yourself. Reach your mind out to every corner of your being. Search for something that feels like you but also like it could be from another being.” I do as he says as I sit there, exploring around inside my mind. Before I realize what's happening, violent flashes of memories rush by me. When I fell from a tree and cut my leg open as a kid. James looking down at me. The sensation of ice as I fell into the lake with Oak all those years ago. I feel goose bumps instantly crawl all over my body.

  “Good, you’re doing great. Just go with it, Attina.” I hear the voice sounding like it comes from some far-off world.

  More visions flood my mind. This time happy ones. Father and I sitting around a campfire. James and I hunting. Father reading to me in bed. Laying on the ground leaning on Oak's prostrate form in a grass clearing, soaking up the sun. James kissing me in our makeshift tent.

  The happy memories pass, and we’re back to bad memories, that first Solis dragging itself toward me. The werewolf chasing me and Raven down. My mother during my Awakening. Pain racks through me as I remember how helpless I was to do anything to stop her. When I found out Oak and Father died. Tears slide down my face. I wrap my arms around myself, rubbing my hands up and down my arms. The wind around me wraps me in a warm cocoon.

  Only one horrible memory left, James.

  The memory hits me like a sack of rocks. James’s crazed eyes as he slaps me across the face. The force of the memory hurling my head sideways. Heat rises alongside the wind cocooning me. I hear a voice far off, but it’s impossible to make out what it's saying. The heat turns into a fire that warms my skin, not in a painful way, in a consoling way.

  Every other time I’ve had magic come from me, I’d been scared. Now, with Allister here, in case I lose control, I feel powerful. My magic rolls inside my body. I feel all the elements around me. I sense the ground around me, each grain of sand waiting to bend to my will. I sense water too. Not just the water in our satchels but the water in the air, the water deep underground. The wind I feel isn’t only the open air but also the air in five sets of lungs, it’s amazing to me how much bigger the horse's lungs are compared to the rest of us. I also feel the fire from our small fire pit as it dances in the wind. It mesmerizes me, I want to dance and be as free as the fire is. I want to be that powerful like I could lay waste to whatever is blocking my path.

  I reach my hand out toward the fire, but Allister grabs my hand. I open my eyes and see my hand is bright red. No, it’s not bright red, it’s encircled in fire. My mouth drops and I try to yank my hand from his grip. How is he not being burned right now? He won't release my hand, though, and he doesn’t seem to be hurting.

  “Shhh… I’m okay, but be careful. We’re not sure what will happen if you try to use your magic. Why don’t you just go back to searching for your animal.”

  I peer at our locked hands. As I stare, the flames peter out, and I tilt my head down. Closing my eyes, I start searching for my animal guide again. I don’t let go of Allister’s hand. It's comforting knowing I’m not alone in this, knowing next to me is someone who can help me if anything goes wrong.

  I take in a deep, calming breath and slowly let it out. I allow myself to feel my magic again, this time trying to focus more on the power itself and less on outside things. I empty my thoughts and concentrate. As soon as my mind is blank, I notice something.

  I take a sharp intake of air as something brushes against my mind, something soft but stiff. An image flashes through my mind, a black feather. The color of the feather is the same as the color of Oak’s mane and tail, so dark it looks like all other colors are swallowed up by it. But the image is gone just as soon as it appears. I open my eyes and meet Allister’s vibrant purple ones. We don’t exchange any words, he only nods to me, encouraging me to keep going.

  So I do.

  I close my eyes again and focus on reaching out to that feather. I concentrate on what the feather looked like. The beautiful void of black it created, the warmth which radiated from it, the safety I felt from it. Then out of nowhere, another image, but this one is more than just a flash, it’s a full picture.

  My animal guide is a bird!

  This bird is surrounded by darkness, but I can see it clear as day. It's not a huge, deadly eagle or some menacing hawk but a small petite blackbird. Its head is a dusky purple. Its beak is an almost glittery burnt orange, that same orange encircles its eyes. Those eyes are the same aquamarine as mine. The black void of a feather was one of its delicate wings.

  The bird looks at me and bows! Full-on bows, wings out, head down, and everything. I reach a mental hand out to it, and it moves its head into the touch. It's all so peaceful in this moment. I notice my strength rising and my powers wrap around me like a protective coat.

  I reach my hand out, and the bird nuzzles into it.

  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, the bird pulls back, throws its wings out, and squawks at me, as if it's warning me. It’s head flits back and forth. I can feel the panic rising in it right before a white serpent launches itself, out of the darkness, at the little blackbird. I'm hit by the impact, like a ball of fire hitting me head-on. I double over in pain, screaming out. Pushing through the pain, I peek up and see the two go tumbling in a ball to the left, and they disappear from sight. The heat magnifies until all I feel is pain. I swear my skin is going to melt off before this stops.

  I open my eyes, and all I see is fire and I begin to panic.

  This is never going to stop. I’ll be swallowed up by the pain and fire.

  Then from somewhere, wind begins encircling me, which only serves to make the fire stronger.

  I hear from somewhere in my mind. Calm down, you’re going to be okay. We are going to get you through this.

  I try to take calming breaths, but it’s not working. The pain isn’t dissipating. I gaze down to my skin, and it's blood red. Is that my blood?

  Somewhere my question is answered. No, Attina, that’s not your blood, that’s you, this is your power.

  I’m not sure I believe it, though, as another wave of pain racks my body. The ground around me falls away as I sink into the earth. Layer after layer of the earth moves out of my way as I slowly fall further and further until I hit something.

  Almost instantly, I feel relief.

  A cooling softness wraps around me. It takes me a second, but I’m able to refocus and see the water surrounding me. Smoke tendrils radiate from me where fire meets water. The pain releases its grip on me instantaneously, I close my eyes, and everything goes dark.

  25

  James

  I make it to Jerik, the first town they planned on riding to, according to Sarah.

  I dismount and leave my horse next to a house leading into town. Stupid thing won't leave even if the town collapsed in front of it.

  As I tie him, I inspect the interesting mud bricks these people used to build their homes. Why they even put in that much effort to build a home they would eventually have to desert is beyond me.

  I turn back and notice a lump in the middle of the street I overlooked before. I race over to it.

  It's a body.

  I push the body over with my foot and jump back.

  It's a Solis with a hole cut through its head.

  As I examine its face, my breath catches. There's dried blood all around its mouth and what appears to be flesh sticking in its teeth.

  What if Attina got bit again?

  26

  Attina

  When I come to, I open my eyes and everyone is circled around me, looking down at me, even the damn warhorse has its head over mine. I realize my head is pounding, and I'm soaking wet. I squint my eyes as I sit up, holding my head.

  Allister quickly kneels down and puts his hand behind my back. “Slowly, Attina. Don’t push yourself too much.”

  That’s when I realize I’m naked. Allister's cloak is over me, covering me but I still feel exposed as I clutch the garment close to my body. Did they all see me naked? Ned solemnly stares at the ground, and Allister doesn't even smirk. "We covered you up as quickly as possible," Allister answers quietly.

  “Can someone please get me a change of clothes?” I scan around to the three of them, but no one moves. Everyone seems to be in shock.

  “Raven,” I scold.

  She shakes her head. “Oh yeah, Ned, go get some clothes.”

  “Why me?” he whines. Since when did Ned become so whiny?

  “Does it look like I have hands?” Raven snaps at him and gestures to her feet with her head.

  “Oh yeah.” I watch as he runs over to where our saddlebags still lie.

  “What the hell happened?” Allister asks at my side.

  “I did what you fucking said to do!” I scream at him.

  “That’s definitely not what I said to do,” he coolly answers. I open my mouth and close it again, looking over to Raven in shock and back to Allister.

  Sweats plop in my lap. “Thank you, Ned. Now could you and Allister turn away while I get dressed, please?”

  Ned immediately turns his back to me, but Allister’s hand is still on my back. “You’ll need help getting up. I won’t look, I promise.” His tone is serious, so I know he means it.

  I shake and incline my head toward Raven. “No, she’ll help me get up.”

  He stands and walks over to where Ned stands so they both have their backs toward me. Raven takes a step forward and puts her head down into my lap. I wrap my arms around her neck as she lifts her head along with my body. I leave my arm wrapped around the top of her neck, steadying myself as I get dressed. It takes an exorbitant effort but I get my clothes on and proceed to sit right back down at Raven’s feet.

  “Thank you,” I whisper to her. Louder I say, “All right, you guys can turn around.”

  Ned and Allister both turn around at the same time as if on cue. I see as they both realize they turned simultaneously, and they both glare at each other before walking over to where I sit cross-legged with Allister’s cloak slung over my shoulders.

  “Okay, what happened?” Ned questions as Allister's eyes roam over my body, and I notice a smirk forming on his lips.

  "It's what everyone at Sanctuary wears and it's the only other clothes I have, don't laugh."

  He puts his hands up and sits down next to Ned.

  “I did what Allister told me to do.” I send Allister a withering glare. “And I found my animal guide.”

  “Animal guide?” Ned asks.

  “I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Half,” Allister spits out.

  I clear my throat. “Are you two quite done because I would much rather be sleeping.” Neither of them says anything, they just nod. “I found my animal guide. It’s a blackbird.”

  Allister puts his hand up to his chin, the corded muscles going tight, and says, “That makes sense. Your mother was elemental, your powers seem to be the same. Birds are very sensitive to those things to the point of being almost weather predictors.”

  I glare at him. “It showed itself to me, I put my hand out to it, we touched, and I felt my powers wrap around me. They felt protective, safe.” Here I stop and take a deep breath, thinking of the snake that attacked my bird. I saw its fangs out, ready for the kill. I wonder if my bird is even still in there or if the snake killed it.

  I fight back tears.

  “Then?” Raven impatiently asks.

  “Then a white snake came out of nowhere and attacked my bird. You saw what happened afterward. I don't know if my bird is still alive or not. Can they die?”

  “Fuck,” Allister whispers under his breath before he stands and begins pacing behind Raven and Ned.

  “What?” I ask. This can't be good, but he’s so deep in thought he must not hear me. I ask louder, “What?” No answer. Ugh, this is frustrating. What the hell is going on? Does he know why that serpent attacked my poor bird? Why my magic powers attacked me?

  I’m done yelling at this idiot, I need answers. “Fuck, what!” I scream into my mind.

  Allister and Ned both flinch like they’ve been physically slapped, but now I have Allister's attention.

  “What's going on in that Fae brain of yours?” I ask Allister. He faces me and takes a deep breath, great this can’t be good news.

  “There has always been a rumor Henrik's animal was a serpent. No one knows for certain, but I bet it is. They are an animal that can represent pure evil, and Henrik is pure evil.”

  “All right… but I’m not evil. Is it because I’m his granddaughter?”

  Allister shakes his head and crosses his arms. “No, I don’t think so or your animal would only be a snake. I’ve never heard of someone having two animals. You’re the first.”

  Fuck.

  “Yes, see why I said fuck earlier.” Allister begins pacing again. “But I wonder…” He looks over to me, an intensity climbing in his eyes before I hear him in my head. Are you sure you want them to know everything? Raven I understand, but do you know Ned well enough to let him in on this?

  “I can trust them, just spit it out.”

  I now realize he must be able to close his thoughts off from Ned because his and Raven’s heads spin toward Allister, and both of them shoot him withering glares. Glares that would make me shake in my boots, but Allister simply ignores them and pushes on.

  “As a half-Fae, your animal guide shouldn’t be this strong.”

  “Hmmph,” Ned grunts out.

  Allister glances over to him for a second and then turns his gaze back on me, lifting his shoulders as he says, “It’s just the truth. I’ve never met any before, you two, but you can’t tell me mixing a Fae and a human would make a strong Fae.”

  Ned obviously concedes by simply lowering his head.

  * * *

  “Her Awakening was explosive!” Raven pipes up, almost angry.

  “If I could finish?” Allister looks back and forth between Raven and Ned, waiting to see if either of them has anything else they’d like to add.

  “Okay. Yes, your Awakening was magnificently strong, but your grandfather is the strongest Fae alive. It would reason that you, even only being half-Fae, would have it in your blood to be incredibly strong. Strong enough even to rival a normal Fae.” My eyes widen.“Then you got bit by those Solis. Not only one but two.”

  What does that have to do with anything? I ask him between minds. He looks me in the eye and smiles a conspiratorial smile.

  “What that has to do with Attina…” Ned and Raven flip their heads back and forth between us. “Is those Solis were made by using Henrik's blood. I wonder if they still carry some of his blood in their veins or in their poison. If Henrik's blood were to mix with your blood, you would become a frightening creation.” Although he uses the word frightening, his bright, glossy eyes and slack jaw show adoration. It takes me back a bit.

  “So, let me get this clear,” I say as I grab onto Raven’s leg and use it to crawl up to a standing position. “Getting bit by those Solis gave me some of Henrik's power?” Allister dips his head and walks over to stand right in front of me, his eyes holding mine with such intensity and power, it’s almost frightening. “So now I also carry his animal with me and now my two animals are at war with each other?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, what is going to happen to me?”

  “I don’t know.” Allister steps up one step closer to me. “We will simply have to see what you turn into.” Then to my mind, he whispers, You beautiful, frightening thing. An intense heat rises to my cheeks as his head angles down to me, protectively, territorially. I open my mouth to say something, but he quickly leans in and lands a peck on my cheek before I get the chance.

  My hand rises to my cheek and I can feel the heat there. Then as if nothing happened, he takes a step back and ruffles the hair on the top of my head. “Come on, we have to get going. That was some display you just did back there, we don’t want anyone searching for what the commotion was all about.” I only bow my head as he walks away to where our camp still lays.

  I’m ridiculously drained from my little outburst, so all I can really do is sit there while the boys pack up camp and saddle the horses. Raven walks over to where I’m sitting, and I grab onto the stirrup of her saddle and pull. I fall back once but manage to stay on my feet. I thought no one saw my stumble, but obviously, I was wrong when I sense Allister step up beside me.

  “Come on, let me help you up, there’s no way you can make it into your saddle alone.”

  “She’s fine,” Raven snaps as she kneels down for me.

  As I move to throw my leg over the saddle, I get lightheaded and lose my balance. My arms fly out, trying to keep myself vertical, but a pair of hands wrap around my waist, righting me. “You're fine, I got you,” Allister whispers, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear. I get my leg over the top of Raven, and Allister slightly pushes me into the middle of the saddle. I turn to say thank you, but before I can get the words out, Raven is up and walking off.

  “That was rude, Raven,” I say as I peek back to where Allister is throwing his satchel over his shoulder, his head hangs as he follows.

  “I don’t care if you're all playing nice and he’s finally helping, he’s going to have to work to get my approval.”

 

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