Jupiter's Rising, page 37
When she came back out, her locs were twisted into a high bun, making her thick cheekbones stand out. She appraised me before smiling.
“You look nice,” she told me.
I fingered my longer hair. The pixie was growing out at an infuriatingly slow rate. My curls were back to their almost unmanageable form now. Half of my head was hidden behind the curtain of much longer curls while the others I had to tame every morning or flatiron down.
“Thanks,” I told her with a tentative smile.
Without another word, we slipped out while ignoring Wren’s grumbles of sleepy complaints. He was not a morning cat. I never minded letting him sleep as late as he wanted. He’d be close enough through the bond, no matter what. Jones took me to a shop I had barely noticed before. We browsed through dresses quietly.
“These scream Jordain,” I mumbled.
Jones laughed and we moved on to another rack. Much better. I found dark pants that shimmered if I held them to the light just right. Next to it was a matching crop top with long sleeves. It would leave my shoulders and midriff bare but would look great at the same time.
“Try it on,” Jones whispered, pointing me to a curtained doorway.
I slipped behind it and into the outfit. Taking in my reflection showed my muscles and curves were still not back, but my stomach was flat, and my bottom was trying to inch back into shape. Semi-gaunt cheeks still greeted me, but makeup covered the dark circles under my eyes.
“Let me see,” Jones called.
I slipped out and she whistled, “Way be ‘Damned, that’s it.”
I grinned before slipping behind the curtain and taking it off. We paid and left the shop. I turned to go back to my room, but Jones pulled me along to another shop.
We slipped into a brightly lit store. At first, I was overwhelmed by the mannequins flaunting varying types of lingerie. I tried to turn around and pull out of the store, but her hands were stronger. She pushed me forward, past the lingerie and when I saw what I faced I blushed.
“What is this?” I hissed.
She smiled and pulled me lightly along to a backroom. Two women stood at the door, eyeing us suspiciously. They didn’t say anything as we entered. If they noticed my bright red cheeks, they were kind enough to overlook it.
Jones faced me away from the wall of various phalluses. Instead, she deposited me in front of a wall of wands, flowers, and various other electronic devices. I had very little experience in this department. Dan’Trell and I had tried a few things, but I had never seen a sex toy shop in my life.
Jones whispered in my ear, “Your hand, among other things, will thank me after you try one of these.”
Moisture pooled between my legs as I licked my lips, “Erm...”
“Don’t worry, I know a thing or two,” she told me as she pulled down a large wand with a medium head.
She waved over one of the guards. The woman opened the box and handed it back to her. My friend turned on the device by pressing a button and a low hum sounded.
“Give me your hand,” she urged softly.
Cautiously, I lifted my shaking fingers to her. She pressed the round ball into my palm, tickling it. After a moment she pressed another button and the sensation intensified. She cycled through about fifteen different speeds, patterns, and intensities before turning it off.
“This one comes with swappable heads,” the guard told us animatedly.
Showcasing the box, I saw ten different heads to replace the large ball. Some were forked, some texturized, and others were like what Jones had pressed against me but in larger and smaller shapes. For an hour, we played this game of testing various devices before settling on two different ones that I couldn’t decide between. Jones had them toss in cleaners, lube, and to my embarrassment, a kit of varying lotions and oils to enhance the sensations of any body part. They packaged everything in a discreet bag, and we left.
I didn’t talk to my handler on the way back. Instead, I paced slowly beside her. When we reached my room, we set everything on the counter, turned around, and headed to meet Stacia. We reached her office earlier than normal, but Jones knocked on her door anyway.
“One moment,” the General’s voice called.
We stood outside the door, waiting patiently. When the loud argument fluttered through it, we both pretended not to hear it. My heart thundered when I recognized the second voice.
“I’m sick of these bogus updates,” Dan’Trell’s voice was a beautiful cello, even when angry.
“I’m not sure what you’re implying,” Stacia used her sweet voice, which was laced with hidden poison.
A loud sigh echoed through the device, paining my heart, “I am more than happy to have you return my squadron to Venus if you’re not finding them valuable.”
“That would be a shame,” Florus hesitated for a moment, “With the civil unrest your team left on Saturn we’re overwhelmed with unhoused civilians.”
“We will have another group ready for graduation at the end of the month,” Dan’Trell said sternly, “Are you asking for more?”
Stacia scoffed, “I could never burden the E.U. in that way.”
“What is readily offered is not a burden. Unless you’re continuing to mistreat my lieutenant,” Dan’Trell snapped coldly.
“Mistreat?” Stacia feigned shock, “Who have I been mistreating?”
My fists squeezed tightly before I released the anger. I bottled up the demon stirring in my stomach and pulled up a happy memory. Emhos had taught me how to fish over the weekend. I’d gotten slapped around by large fish and we’d giggled for hours about it. I tried to keep the happier thoughts flooding through me as I tightened my shield with my guardian, hoping she wouldn’t notice the unhinged emotions rolling through me.
Dan’Trell’s hand reverberated from the omni in the room as she slammed it on against something, “These pre-recorded videos are not going to suffice General. Updates are to be provided face-to-face every chance we can. I’ve waited up tonight so we can have a civilized conversation. I expect to be able to talk to my lieutenant.”
“At the moment, I have her doing her civic duties. She’s helping a group of new refugees settle into the medical center,” Stacia lied serenely.
I could see the frown Dan’Trell would have made in my mind and pushed the image aside as I listened, “You only have two medically trained specialists from my team and Lieutenant Lyon is not one of them.”
“When you’re understaffed it’s all hands on deck,” the General pleaded.
“When is her shift over?”
Stacia blew a long breath out, “That’s hard to say. Most of our supporters are working such long hours.”
“Then you violate our worker’s code of rights. That would directly impact code one seventeen,” Dan’Trell declared righteously.
“Only if the workers are required to participate. I cannot stop them from taking their hour of rest after a shift and coming back to help of their own accord,” the General added sweetly, “And we both know what a bleeding heart your lieutenant is.”
Ems laughed as a fish splashed against my hands, slimy and disgusting. When it flipped out of my fingers, it slammed into my face. I plummeted to the ground, laughing hard. Pulling the happy thoughts in, I tried to drown away my anger.
“I’m sure you have a means of communication to summon her from her volunteer hours then,” Dan’Trell pushed.
I wasn’t sure what motion Stacia made behind the closed door, but I heard her clothes shuffle before she announced, “We do what we can with the limited resources we have.”
“Then I’ll wait, all night and all day until you bring her to me,” Dan’Trell declared with finality.
“I’m sorry, Colonel,” Stacia spit the word harshly, “We can’t keep our intergalactic calls tied up that way. We’re the closest support to Saturn. If anything drastic were to happen, we need these lines available.”
An older woman walked up to us, “Kaleigh, how nice to see you.”
“Hello Ramona, it is nice to see you too,” Jones said politely while trying to keep her voice from carrying.
“Are you and Lyon hoping to see the General?” Ramona turned to me.
I nodded and Jones mumbled, “Oh, we can wa-”
Ramona knocked on the door, opening it to stick her head inside, “General,” she called, “You have Jones and Lyon here to see you.”
I didn’t look in to see Stacia’s face. I stood stoically beside the doorframe. Jones looked at me and we both knew we were in trouble.
“I’m in the middle of a call,” Stacia’s voice was firm.
“Of course, I’ll let them know to wait here until you’re ready,” Ramona closed the door.
“I’d say you’re going to be in for a long wait, ladies,” Ramona declared pleasantly.
She turned around and hobbled away like she hadn’t just blown-up Stacia’s plan.
“I want to talk to her now,” Dan’Trell yelled.
“I outrank you, Colonel,” the General said.
“As a standing Militia General, you are well aware of your rights. As this leader reports directly to me, they are required to give me any updates before you. My updates from her should then be rolled to you. You are breaking the chain of command. That is grounds for a criminal or fraudulent investigation,” Dan’Trell’s voice was cold, deadly, and chillingly angry.
Stacia’s fist hit her desk, “Is that a threat?”
“You have the opportunity to avoid it right now,” Dan’Trell called.
Stacia huffed, “Let me fetch them.”
“I’ll wait,” Dan’Trell declared.
Stacia opened the door and closed it behind her. I turned to her, hands behind my back and feet shoulder-width apart. As her anger poured out of her, I held it momentarily inside, allowing it to surround me. This is not my anger. These feelings do not belong to me. I tried to let the anger go before it fed the monsters inside me. Stacia stepped menacingly toward me.
Her voice was low in my ear, “You will behave. You will not reveal anything outside of the details you’ve covered. If asked, you are supporting wherever we need you, including in the medical center. Do you understand these orders?”
With feigned enthusiasm, I retorted, “I’m happy to serve wherever Jupiter needs support.”
“At least you dressed better today,” she looked me up and down, “I thought you were supposed to be back to goal weight by now?”
“It’s not for a lack of trying,” Jones interrupted.
Stacia ignored her, “What are you going to say if she asks you about it?”
I froze for a moment, my mouth agape, “I - I, erm. I made a major life choice change and adjusted my diet to only eat cruelty-free ingredients. I’m a vegetarian and I struggled at first with how to eat this way.”
The General glared over me, “It might work.”
She opened her door, and we followed her in. Stacia pointed to the omniTV on the far wall we had never used. I turned while trying to prep my heart for what I would see.
My eyes found amber-brown ones surrounded by tiny freckles. Her face was looking better today than it had months ago on the announcement day. Like mine, it wore the lasting effects of our inability to mind-meld.
“Lieutenant Lyon,” her voice was hard but lacked the ice she’d had for Stacia.
“Lieutenant Colonel,” I began but Stacia cleared her throat, “Sorry,” I corrected. “Col- Colonel Stewart.”
She was in her standard dress blues and out of habit I squared my shoulders and saluted. She didn’t return the gesture. Her eyes flicked over to my handler.
“Lieutenant Jones,” Dan’Trell called.
My guardian repeated my salute, “Colonel.”
“Lieutenant Lyon, would you like to tell me why you have failed to follow code two thirty-three?” Dan’Trell’s eyes scanned my wrecked body.
“I’m afraid we’ve run out of spare omni’s,” Stacia declared on my behalf.
“I asked my direct report, General,” Dan’Trell’s ice seeped into her tone, “However, you’ll find a large shipment on your next delivery. It will be one of our highest priorities. I expect you to issue one to my Lieutenant.”
Stacia’s hand movements were barely noticeable, but I knew she had not been prepared to walk into that trap, “Of course.”
My ex-lover’s eyes found me again and the darkness inside me fluttered, trying to consume me. I flung out for any other emotion. Stacia’s anger was more powerful than Jones’s calm façade of turmoil. I sucked in the anger, letting it fill me. I willed it to turn into confidence. The heat of my monsters pulsed through my veins.
“Please tell me what duties you’ve been assigned on Jupiter,” Dan’Trell’s voice didn’t waver.
Did she even care about me?
“I assist anywhere Jupiter needs me, Ma’am,” I told her with a calm demeanor I didn’t have inside.
“Such as?” She demanded.
Does she know how cruel she is to me?
“Sometimes I assist in the med bay with rearranging patient beds, cleaning, or maintenance. I often help where maintenance is needed every day,” I told her, stretching the truth just enough.
“And what are your colleagues doing?” She inquired with less ice.
Do I mean nothing to her?
“Varying tasks according to their strengths and needs of the base. Some are assisting in admin, training, medical, or engineering,” I stated without looking at the General.
“And how would you describe your physical condition?” She asked.
Merely another soldier, nothing more.
“Ma’am?” I pretended not to understand.
“Is your weight loss intentional, Lieutenant? I hate to be insensitive,” she sounded softer with this question, almost back to the woman I loved.
As the General pushed another wave of anger, I grabbed onto it and let it fill me, “I apologize for not meeting your physical expectations. We are given many courses of education on the local environment and civil histories. I have developed a preference for ensuring every bite I consume is cruelty-free. I am a vegetarian now, Colonel,” I enunciated two words that had been on our list from almost a year ago, hoping she’d remember.
“I have known vegetarians, Lieutenant. They do not lose as much weight as you have,” she pestered me.
I stumbled momentarily, “I, I, erm, admit that I struggled at first with the... changes. I am doing everything I can now to regain my weight to meet Militia standards,” the words I used sounded normal but had a meaningful message.
I’ve learned something that does not meet Militia standards. She would have to settle for the limited knowledge I could share. Her face showed no recollection of the words we used. The heat in her eyes was not that of love or lust. This woman was a stranger. A stranger I was connected to for eternity.
“Lieutenant Jones,” Dan’Trell’s eyes searched my handlers.
“Yes, Colonel?” She asked.
“I see your health appears fine,” my previous lover looked over her new focal point, “How are the other members of the squadron?”
I wanted to look down. I felt the most horrible urge to throw up my breakfast. She has no feelings for me. I am nothing but her pawn. I am nothing but a silly chess piece to all of them. I kept my eyes on the screen, willing my body not to betray me with tears.
“They are all in good health, Ma’am. None of them have decided to make such drastic changes in their diet. All are meeting regulations and performing their duties with excellence. I have not received any complaints,” Jones smiled amicably.
The beautiful woman my soul craved nodded, “Lieutenant Lyon,” her frozen pools returned to me, “Do not disappoint me again. You may provide your video updates through General Florus until her batch of omnis come in. Is my order clear?”
“Yes, Colonel,” I took the formal stance and stared at her, doing everything I could not to declare my bitter heartache.
Her eyes did not linger, she was a statue of Militia perfection. Her icy gaze landed on the now-calm General. Stacia smiled pleasantly at my ex.
“Thank you for your collaboration and support, General. I will be in contact and look forward to next week’s updates,” Dan’Trell waited for the return of platitudes.
“Of course, Colonel. We look forward to your next delivery of resources,” the General disconnected the call.
My body was rigid. Refusing to let my hands shake, I tightened them into fists behind my back. A tangy flavor threatened to overrun my mouth and I pushed the bile down in my throat as I turned to face Stacia.
“You did well enough,” she barely glanced over me, “Dismissed, Lyon.”
I turned without another word and followed the signs to the bathroom. My breakfast spilled out of my throat and into the closest toilet. The smell made me heave repeatedly until it all came out. When I had nothing left but painful dry heaves, I wiped my mouth and sat on the toilet with my head in my hands.
I pushed all the emotions inside me out into the spacious bathroom. The room was empty, the feelings would evaporate. Once I was emotionally numb, I stood and washed my hands, before rinsing out my mouth.
Chapter Seventeen | Unrequited
Jones opened the door, “Oh, there you are,” she greeted smoothly.
I pulled my most political smile to my lips, “Apologies, I should have peed before we left.”
I followed her out and down the hill to the residential area, “You did well,” her voice was soft, gentle.
“I did my job. I would never deliver less than satisfactory expectations,” I told her bluntly.
She grinned, “You’re right. I’m not sure how I could have expected otherwise.”
I nodded and she asked the question I’d been fearing someone would notice for months, “Was she looking thin to you?”
I raised my eyebrows quizzically at her, “Oh, do you think so? I didn’t notice.”
She shrugged, “I guess she was looking similarly before I left a few months ago. Better now though,” she added.
