“Somewhat,” she had to admit. “But not the way most people would guess. What I miss is the anonymity. The ability to disappear in a crowd.”

  “Why would you want that?”

  She didn’t answer. Instead she surprised him further. “Your mom told me that after she married your father she had a hard time adjusting to living on a farm.”

  “She did?” He was astounded. This was skirting a topic that was never discussed or even alluded to in his family. He was pretty sure neither Jimmy nor Joey even knew about the year their parents had spent apart.

  “I think she was warning me.”

  “Ah.” Finally he got it. “She doesn’t want you breaking my heart and moving back to the city?”

  “Something like that.” Poor Lily looked so uncomfortable.

  “Interesting. At dinner last night, I had the definite impression that she was hoping the two of us would get involved.”

  “She said something to that effect as well,” Lily admitted.

  “Hell. My mother is great, but there are times when she can be damned annoying.” He gave her an apologetic smile. “I’ll have a talk with her Lily. Tell her to back off.”

  Lily just nodded, looking so distressed that Garret realized he’d better shift the conversation to a more neutral topic.

  He told her some stories from the past. When he was little his mother and father had made delivering the baskets a family event and one time his brother Jimmy had wanted one of the toys in the basket so badly, he’d grabbed it and took off running. “It took Dad a block to catch up with him. Mom was mortified. But Jimmy was only two.”

  “Not quite old enough to grasp the concept of sharing,” Lily agreed.

  He could tell by her easy laugh that she was feeling more relaxed, and so he told her another story, this one heartbreaking. “Ten years ago we delivered a basket to a single mom who’d just moved into town and hadn’t heard about the Christmas basket program. When we showed up on her door, with over a thousand dollars of merchandise and gift certificates, she just sat on the floor and started bawling. Soon we were all crying,” Garret admitted. Even now he had to wipe away a tear, just thinking about it.

  “Does that single mom still live in Carol Falls?”

  “She does. She waited until both her kids were enrolled in grade school, then she started taking correspondence courses herself. Now she works in the Postal Office and hasn’t been on our basket list for five years.”

  “That’s wonderful to hear.” Lily also had tears in her eyes, now. “I wish all towns had a Christmas basket program like yours.”

  “I’m sure many of them do, in one form or another. Still, I have to admit I’m pretty proud of my folks for starting the tradition.” He gave her another quick glance, catching her dabbing her eyes with a tissue. “But why do you say towns like mine? Carol Falls is your town, too, now.”

  “I suppose that’s true. But it’s still so new to me.”

  Once in Burlington Garret drove to several of the bigger discount stores, before finding one that Lily felt had the right mix of merchandise and unbeatable prices. Once they’d purchased the gift cards on the company credit card, the next stop was the mall.

  “I’m sure you have your own shopping to do,” Garret said. “How about we go our separate ways and meet back at the Applebee’s in two hours?”

  * * *

  It didn’t take Lily long to work her way through the mall. She picked up a few small things for the Frost family...and on impulse, a sweater from a trendy shop for Ivy, confirming her selection with the salesgirl to make sure it was something a sixteen-year-old girl would like.

  Lily couldn’t say why she felt such a connection to Ivy Belmont. Her own upbringing had been nothing like Ivy’s. As a kid she’d had always felt they were just an average American family—nothing that special or unique. Only now that she was older did she realize how truly privileged she’d been.

  To kill a little more time, Lily went into a beauty shop to have a manicure. The technician tried to talk her into letting her paint little pieces of holly on each nail, but Lily declined. Seeing the pictures the technician had shown her, however, reminded her of the mistletoe and the impression she’d had that Garret had wanted to kiss her.

  Now she knew that he had—because he’d finally done it.

  And she so wished he hadn’t. Because it had been wonderful. In her experience, first kisses with most men were awkward, tentative things. But with Garret she’d felt a sexual zing right from the start.

  He’d been so mortified when his son walked in on them, though. More mortified, she thought, than Duncan had been. Sure, the young boy had been curious. But he hadn’t seemed upset. Certainly not as upset as his father had been.

  The more she thought about the kiss, the more upset she got. Was Garret aware of the mixed messages he was sending? One minute all romantic and interested. The next pulling back and talking about being friends.

  Once the pale gray and slightly sparkly polish had dried, it was finally time to meet Garret. He wasn’t there, so Lily asked for a table for two and waited.

  And waited.

  With each passing second, she became more annoyed. She could have gone on this trip alone and been back in Carol Falls by now. It was Garret who’d insisted on coming with her. Always it was Garret coming up with reasons to be with her—then when they started getting closer—pulling back.

  Finally, fifteen minutes late, face flushed and hands laden with shopping bags, he arrived. She watched as he walked toward her table. Darn him for having such a great smile—warm and charming. He was aiming that smile at her, but that didn’t stop a few of the other women in the restaurant from watching him, too.

  “Sorry. I was going to text you—but my hands were full.”

  “They sure are.” She picked up the glass of white wine she’d ordered to mollify the waiter. No sense letting Garret know how upset she was feeling. Not here, in a public restaurant. “You must have bought something for just about everyone you know.”

  “Actually, most of these are for Duncan.”

  That surprised her. She hadn’t figured Garret for the type of man to indulge his child with too many toys.

  “I know it’s a lot. But with his mom gone and everything—well, I just want to make sure his Christmas is special.”

  Did he really believe a few extra toys would make up for the loss of his mother? Or would make Duncan’s Christmas special? It just didn’t seem like Garret, but the man, Lily was beginning to realize, had a few of these inconsistencies.

  Like telling her he just wanted to be her friend one minute, then kissing her the next.

  Suddenly she couldn’t keep a lid on her anger another second.

  “Let’s just go home.”

  “What?” Garret looked confused. “At least let me make up for keeping you waiting by buying you dinner.”

  “I’m not that hungry anymore.” She fished out the money for her drink and left it on the table. “Want me to help you with your packages?”

  “No. I damn well do not.” He looked angry, too, and it didn’t help when he fumbled trying to get all the bags firmly in grasp again after having dropped them at the table. He swore, then scooped them up in one big bundle.

  She led the way out of the restaurant but not until she was in the car was she finally able to understand what was really behind her anger.

  He’d kissed her.

  And rejected her.

  She was so, so done with being the victim of men who only thought about themselves. Brad had seemed so fun and good humored. But after she’d married him she’d realize that he only did something nice for other people if there was something in it for him.

  She’d thought Garret was different. But now she wasn’t sure.

  Maybe all this talk about giving back to the community was just words. Maybe all he really cared about was his business and keeping a good relationship with the citizens who helped support it.

  He talked about being a good father. But if he thought that meant buying his son a lot of gifts, then he didn’t really get it, did he?

  But the last straw, really, was the way he’d been behaving the last few days. One minute he was acting like a man falling in love. The next he was retreating like a man after a one night stand who can’t put his jeans back on fast enough.

  “Lily?”

  “I don’t want to talk.”

  The drive which had gone so fast on the way up, seemed to take forever now. But finally he pulled in to the parking lot in front of the Sugar Shack, where her Forester was waiting.

  “The Christmas baskets...” he began.

  “Leave it all to me,” she said, without making eye contact. “I’ll have them ready to be delivered next Friday morning.”

  And after that, she might start looking for a new job. She’d been looking for something to do over the holidays, anyway.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Garret was not in a good mood when he arrived home and not even the aroma of his mother’s Shepherd’s Pot Pie—the meal she always made on Monday with the remains from Sunday’s roast dinner—could turn the tide. He kissed his mother who was setting plates on the table. She looked tired.

  “Did you finish the cookies?”

  “I did. They’re all boxed and ready to go in the study.”

  “That’s great,” he said, trying to infuse his voice with some enthusiasm. “Where’s Duncan?”

  “Playing in his room. Call him for dinner, please, and your father, too. He’s in the study with the baby, I think.”

  “Still no word on the mother?”

  “No.” His mother shook her head sadly. “I’m just so puzzled by the whole thing. Helen from family services came by this afternoon to talk to me and your father. She’s agreed that Holly is best off staying here with us at least until Christmas. If the real mother isn’t found I guess they’ll eventually arrange for an adoption.”

  No doubt that would make some childless couple very happy. But Garret didn’t think the town—or he—would be satisfied until they knew who Holly’s birth mother was—and why she’d abandoned her.

  He went into the study first, and found his father holding Holly in his arms while he read one of his favorite journals. “I’m wondering if we shouldn’t be expanding son. Our equipment has the capacity to handle a lot more sap than our trees are able to produce.”

  Normally Garret would have been interested in having a discussion about this. Tonight, he wasn’t in the mood. “Sure Dad. But for now, Mom wants you at the table for dinner. I’ll go get Duncan.”

  He tried hollering for his son, first. Usually Duncan came running, but of course tonight was the exception.

  Holding back his impatience, Garret climbed the stairs to his son’s room, which had been Jimmy’s many years ago. “Duncan?” The door was closed, which was unusual. Garret went inside, but the room was empty.

  “Duncan?” He checked the closet and under the bed in case his son was playing some sort of game.

  Nothing.

  On the floor was the atlas Duncan had showed them last night, open to the page where Garret had pointed out the North Pole.

  Had his son...? No, that was too crazy, even for a five-year-old.

  Garret ran down the stairs. “Mom, are you sure Duncan was in his room? I just remembered he asked for permission to play with Nathan today.”

  Sylvia set the salad on the table, then looked at him with mild concern. “And when you gave your consent, he went. But Linda drove him home an hour ago.”

  “An hour. And was he up in his room all that time?”

  Suddenly his mother looked guilty. “I thought so. But it isn’t really like him, is it? Oh, dear.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “After lunch Sandy came to help me with the cookies. We were so busy, I lost track of time. And Duncan.”

  “He’s got to be around somewhere.” Garret wasn’t going to panic. Not yet. “You and Dad check the house. Remember he could be hiding, thinking he’s playing some sort of game. So search every closet and any place big enough for a little boy.”

  Harold was out of the study now, ready for action. “Holly fell asleep so I put her back in the crib. Sylvia, you handle the house, I’ll go out and help Garret search the barns and the yard.”

  Garret nodded his thanks. It was a big property. Lots of places for a little boy to hide.

  And lots of places for a little boy to get hurt.

  * * *

  Outside Harold put his hand on Garret’s shoulder. “Kids do this sort of thing all the time. Don’t worry. We’ll find him.”

  Garret nodded his appreciation for the advice, suddenly too choked up to speak. He remembered this feeling—and it reminded him of the terrible day when Sara had collapsed, the dreadful days that followed and her ultimate death and the loss of their baby.

  He’d sat at her bedside, helpless to do anything that would bring her back to them.

  He’d just watched his wife die.

  And it had all but killed him.

  “I’ll check the skating pond and the toboggan hill,” his dad continued. “You go to the Sugar Shack and the New Barn. I’ve got my phone so text me when you find him.”

  And what would he do if they didn’t?

  Widen the search, obviously. Garret firmed his jaw with new resolve. Panicking now would do no one any good.

  He started with the Sugar Shack which was closest to the house. Chet, Peter and Sandy had clearly left for the day but Lily’s Forester was still in her usual parking space, so she must be working late. His heart sank at that. Not likely Duncan would be here then, or Lily would have brought him home. Still, he had to check.

  “Duncan?” He called loudly as he entered the main room. He could tell with one sweeping glance that his son wasn’t here. But maybe in the back offices?

  Before he could go and check, Lily appeared in the hall. She’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail and was wearing the black rimmed glasses she used when she was on the computer.

  “He isn’t here, Garret. Has he gone missing?”

  Still smarting from the way she’d abruptly ended their day in Burlington, he barely looked at her as he said, “Mom thought he was in his room, but he isn’t.”

  “I would have heard if he came in here. Pete left an hour ago and it’s been super quiet since then.” Lily went to grab her coat which was hanging near the door.

  For just a second it occurred to him—they were both standing under the damn mistletoe again. Then he pushed aside the frivolous thought.

  “Mom’s searching the house in case he’s hiding, Dad’s got the skating pond and toboggan hill. I’m going to check the new barn, next—”

  “I’ll see if he’s in the equipment Quonset. Or with the horses.”

  Garret frowned. Duncan loved the barn cats that hung out in the horse barn. But he’d been strictly prohibited from ever going there alone. A kick from one of their prized Belgian Draft horses could easily kill a small boy.

  “Check the horses, first,” he said, opening the door and waiting for her to pass through. “Got your phone?”

  She nodded.

  “Let me know if you find him.” Garret considered the grim possibility that they wouldn’t. He patted the pocket where he kept his cell phone. “If we haven’t had any luck in fifteen minutes, I’m calling the police.”

  * * *

  Lily ran to the stable which was on the other side of the yard, set well back from the Sugar Shack and the New Barn where the maple syrup was produced. In the early spring the horses were hitched to a wagon and driven into the woods to pick up the sap from the collection tubs. The sap ran via plastic tubing that connected over five thousand sugar and red maple trees.

  On weekends, the horses worked giving tours to a small grove of trees that were still tapped the old-fashioned way, with aluminum buckets hung directly below the taps.

  This was all something Lily had hoped to see early this spring, but now she doubted if she’d still be on Frost Farms by then.

  “Duncan! Duncan! Where are you?”

  She could hear Harold calling from up on the toboggan hill. And Garret, too. Cries of the small boy’s name were everywhere. If he were hiding somewhere, surely he would have heard them by now?

  Chilled by fear that something had happened to him, Lily slid the stable door open and slipped inside. The horses moved restlessly, and she flicked on the light, then approached them cautiously.

  Pebbles, a black and white barn cat, brushed against her pant leg, and she reached down to scratch her head. Not wanting to freak out the animals, Lily spoke in her normal voice. “Duncan, are you in here, honey? Your Dad is really worried about you. I promise he won’t be mad.”

  It was a promise she probably shouldn’t be making, but she didn’t want Duncan to be afraid to show his face.

  But no one answered.

  Lily checked both of the stalls, the tack and feed rooms.

  Nothing.

  Her cell phone vibrated in her back pocket and seeing the call was from Garret, she answered.

  “Any luck?” he asked, his voice taut with worry.

  “No. He isn’t here. I’ll try the Quonset next.”

  “I’m finished with the new barn,” he replied. “I’m going to start checking in the woods next. ”

  “Okay.” The woods were also off limits to Duncan, but where else could they look? It seemed inconceivable that a five-year-old boy could disappear so quickly. She wondered if Garret had considered any darker scenarios. Could a stranger have approached the young boy in the yard and taken him away? Duncan was so trusting and friendly...

  “Garret—maybe you should call the police right now.”

  There was a slight hesitation, then Garret, his voice gruff and deep, said, “Yes.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Garret called his sister first. She’d know what to do.

  “Hey, Garr. What’s up?”

  She sounded relaxed, without a care in the world.

  “Are you at work?”

  “Sure. I’m on patrol right now. Just talked to some kids hanging out around the covered bridge. I keep telling th—”

 

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