Pest Control, page 4
The awful, rambling attempt at an apology had Rhys cringing inwardly. But thankfully, it caused Everett to finally look up from the floor, no longer sulking like a kicked puppy.
“It’s okay,” Everett replied in a small voice. “I shouldn’t have been loud. I’m the one who should feel bad. I ruined a perfectly good hunt, and now because of me, we are going to starve.”
“Hey, hey, we aren’t going to starve. Don’t listen to anything I said earlier, okay? I know I said we were gonna starve, but that was just me catastrophizing.” Rhys reached out to place a soothing hand on Everett’s shoulder. “It’s not the end of the world; I promise. We can…we can go hunting tomorrow. It shouldn’t be snowing for a few more weeks at least, maybe even another month. We have time. You just gotta be quieter next time? And it’ll be all good.”
Everett gnawed on his bottom lip. “Is that going to be enough time? It looks like it’s going to snow…” His nostrils flared. “Very soon. Tomorrow, even.”
Rhys raised his eyebrows. “Tomorrow? Why do you think that? It’s raining right now, so it’s not cold enough yet to actually snow. We should still have a few weeks.”
Everett cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Because it smells like it’s going to?”
“It smells like it’s going to,” Rhys parroted in a deadpan voice, narrowing his eyes. “How the fuck do you smell if it’s going to snow or not?”
“Do you…not? I thought everyone could.”
“No, I don’t think everyone can.” Rhys chuckled lightly at Everett’s frown. “I don’t think your magic sense of smell is quite right though. I’ve been out here long enough I’m pretty sure I can predict the weather weeks in advance. Anyway, it’ll be fine. You’re fine. But…are we okay? Because I don’t want to make you scared like this ever again.”
“I just…” Everett paused to sigh. “I just think…maybe I shouldn’t be hunting with you anymore. Or staying here, even, since I’m becoming such a burden—”
“No!” Rhys exclaimed much too loudly, startling them both. He visibly cringed this time. “No,” he said again, much quieter. “No, you are not a burden. Absolutely not. You do need to work on your patience, but otherwise, you’re going to become a very good hunter, Everett. And I want you here.”
“You want me here?” Everett whispered in disbelief. “Why? All I do is annoy you and make things harder for you. I haven’t helped you out at all like I promised.”
Rhys didn’t know how to reply. The cabin filled with a pregnant silence as he thought to himself. Why did he want Everett to stay? It wasn’t as if he brought much to the table that benefitted Rhys. All the guy really had going for him was that he had a knack for using a bow and, apparently, could smell future weather changes. And, if Rhys was honest, Everett whispering him soothing words and stroking his back during his panic attack had helped ground him back to reality somewhat. Everett may have been the cause, but he was so understanding and sweet. He was also one hell of a good space heater and pillow to sleep with at night as well as an entertaining conversationalist. Rhys hadn’t ever realized he’d been greatly missing someone like him until Everett had barged his way into his life. Someone he didn’t want to lose.
He knew Everett would leave someday, whether it was bright and early tomorrow morning or months in the future. No matter how long he stayed, Rhys could foresee missing the brat, reaching out for his long-gone warmth during the nights, and sitting in the lonesome silence of the cabin until his brain began to hallucinate hearing voices.
“It’s…because I’m lonely, I guess” was what Rhys ended up saying as he nervously scratched the back of his neck, avoiding Everett’s gaze, which felt as if it was looking straight through him.
“Lonely? But I thought you liked being alone? I was worried I’ve been ruining that for you.”
“Honestly? I thought you’d ruin it, too, at first. But I think, in a way, having you here only made me realize how alone I was. How much I missed company despite too much company being the very reason I’m even up here. Yeah, you annoy the absolute shit out of me sometimes, but I’d rather be annoyed than lonely. If that makes sense? I don’t know if it does, but like—”
Before Rhys could finish his embarrassing rambling, his words were cut short by Everett suddenly enveloping him in yet another overly tight hug, pressing his face into the soft cotton of the borrowed sweater.
“You want me here,” Everett singsonged as he rocked the two of them back and forth, voice giddy and lacking all signs of the nervousness of only minutes prior. “You want me here, and you like me!”
“I never said I like you,” Rhys mumbled.
“No, but you wouldn’t want me here if you didn’t.” Everett giggled as he pulled back, still holding Rhys in his arms. He reached out to boop his nose, making Rhys’s face scrunch up. “You can’t fool me! Ah, and all of this time I thought you hated me or something. This is such a relief. I was worried for a second that you’d kick me out into the cold.”
“Do you really think I’m that heartless? I’m wounded, Everett!”
Though Rhys was feigning offense with his gasp, it seemed Everett hadn’t caught on to the joke, his giggles fading out and smile faltering.
“No, Rhys, you’re far from heartless,” he said softly as he pulled back completely as if to give Rhys space. “Just…thought I fucked up enough to deserve it. Especially after all you’ve done for me.”
“Aw, come on, it isn’t that big of a deal.” Rhys’s face heated up at the words, and he was unable to look up. “Anyone else would do the same thing. Leaving you there would be like leaving you to die. I don’t think any sane person would do that. I was just doing the right thing.”
“Yeah, but I doubt everyone would go the extra mile like you’ve been doing. Not only saving me, but letting me into your home, teaching me how to hunt. You don’t need to do those things for me but…you are, and I think that says a lot about you. How nice you are.”
“Oh, stop it. I’m far from a saint. You have no idea the things I’ve done in the past, Everett. You wouldn’t think that if you knew. You’re not the first person I’ve taken my anger out on.”
“That doesn’t count, so try me with something else,” Everett replied without hesitation. “Tell me all of these awful things Big Bad Rhys has done, and we’ll see if your words hold true. I can bet you, though, nothing can phase me.”
“‘Big Bad Rhys’?” He shook his head with a smile. “I guess that’s a fitting title.”
“Come on; no changing the subject.” Everett grabbed Rhys’s forearm and shook it impatiently. “Tell me.”
“You aren’t going to shut up about this, are you? Even after all this talk about being more quiet? More patient?”
“We aren’t hunting right now, so…I should be allowed to talk all I want. And you are allowed to, too, so spill the beans, Rhys. I want to hear all of your stories! I bet they’re really cool—ooh, were you a rogue or something sick like that? Did you kill anyone? Is that why you are out here all alone?” Everett gasped dramatically.
Rhys let out a huff of laughter. “You’re way too excited about me being some dangerous criminal or whatever you seem to think I am.”
“Then what is it? I’m dying here, Rhys, dying!” Everett shook his arm again. “Why are you even out here, anyway, if you aren’t in trouble for killing someone? Oh, wait, I got it!
“You’re out here because you tried to steal someone’s mate, huh? Wow, what a Casanova you are.” He whistled, impressed. “Good with the ladies, aren’t you? Makes sense with that pretty face of yours. You need to teach me your ways with that, too— Well, maybe not, since you were obviously unsuccessful.”
“Pretty— Wait, wait, someone’s mate? What the fuck? Everett, I’m not running from anything, and I’m not wanted for any crimes or for trying to ruin someone’s marriage. My life isn’t some shit straight out of a television show.”
“Uh, okay…but I thought you said you’ve done bad things. What else could that mean?”
Rhys cleared his throat. “Just…I’ve hurt a lot of people, leaving them behind to live out here. Cutting them out of my life even though they cared about me. Taking my anger out on them; I’ve literally given people black eyes before. And…”
Rhys looked pointedly down at the bandages still wrapped tightly around Everett’s leg. “That is my fault. The trap you got yourself stuck in? Yeah, that was me. I set that trap. Not to hurt you intentionally, of course—I put a few out to capture and kill a wolf that’s been bugging the shit outta me lately, stealing all of my food. I don’t think that’s something a good person would do.”
Just thinking about the wolf, even now, a few weeks since the last time he’d been graced with its dreaded presence, Rhys felt the usual twinge of annoyance and frustration—and a bit of hunger—at the reminder of all of the meals he’d lost to the paws of the sneaky predator.
“A-a wolf? Like you told me about?” Everett whispered, his eyes darting around nervously, his skin a bit pale as if he feared the wolf would pop out from behind the bookshelves and rip them to pieces.
“Yeah, that wolf.” Rhys leaned in close to rest a comforting hand on Everett’s shoulder. He didn’t blame him for fearing the sharp-toothed, hungry predator that lurked somewhere in the woods. Hell, even Rhys would be terrified if he were to come across it unarmed. “But don’t worry; it won’t hurt you. I’ve been carrying my gun around with me recently, so if it does come around, I’ll be ready to take care of it, okay? You don’t need to be afraid.”
“Would you…” Everett paused to gulp heavily, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Sh-shoot it? Kill it?”
Though Everett seemed afraid of the wolf, it was just as clear that watching it be riddled with bullet holes wasn’t something he’d want to witness. And, well, neither would Rhys, but—
“If I had to, yes,” Rhys said. “I was going to kill it, if I hadn’t ended up catching you in the trap instead. But maybe warning shots will be enough to scare it away, so I wouldn’t have to. I’d rather avoid killing it, to be honest. I feel bad for setting those traps out; it was a rash decision.”
Everett nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah. B-Because life is precious, right?” he blurted out much too loudly for the small space. “There’s…uh, there’s no need to waste the wolf’s life, for no reason, r-right?”
“Well, I mean, there’s technically a reason,” Rhys grumbled. “But, yeah, I’m not one of those damn trophy hunters who hunt for sport. That shit is sick. I only kill for necessity, like for food or safety— Hey, Everett, are you all right?”
“Wh-what—oh.” Everett laughed nervously, looking down at his hands with wide eyes as if he hadn’t even realized they were shaking. He shifted his gaze back to Rhys, whose concerned expression only seemed to make Everett even more pale. “I-I’m fine, I’m okay. Sorry, I just don’t like talking about death all that much.”
“That’s completely understandable. Let’s talk about something else, then, yeah?” Rhys offered without hesitation, to which Everett responded with a nod and a small, relieved smile.
Rhys hummed thoughtfully for a moment before continuing. “How about… Hmm, didn’t you want to know why I live out here by myself? It’s a long story, but if you really wanna hear it, I don’t mind telling it.”
It was the right thing to say, thankfully, if Everett’s eyes lighting up and sparkling with interest was enough to go by.
“Will you?” Everett asked hopefully. “I mean, don’t feel pressured to or anything, but—”
“Oh shush. I’m not feeling pressured. I want to tell you, you dork. I was just teasing you before. You were coming up with some pretty outlandish theories— I wish the reality was just as interesting. I hope I don’t disappoint you by saying my story is…much lamer. Long, but lame. If you fall asleep in the middle of it, don’t worry, it’s fine.”
Everett rolled his eyes. “I doubt it’s lame. I’ll be the judge of that.”
“I’m sure you will,” Rhys said with a sigh.
They moved to lie down side by side on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, studying the grains and knots in the wooden planks as if they were stars.
“So…I’ve never told anyone in detail about my mental illnesses, except for my therapist, and it’s been way too long since I’ve seen her, not since high school. I have what’s called sensory processing disorder, as well as agoraphobia, depression, anxiety… I’m a disaster, really.
“It’s hard to explain, but that’s why I had that panic attack earlier. All of the sounds combined with the fear and anger… It was just too many senses at once, overwhelming me and turning me into that absolute mess of a person. It’s something I don’t really understand myself…but it dictates my entire life, pretty much. It’s the reason I moved out here, away from the city. I had panic attacks like that multiple times a day.”
“You used to live in the city?” Everett asked. “Ah, I’ve seen them from afar before, but I’ve never been in one. They look so cool, all lit up and sparkly—oh wait—that sounds like it wouldn’t be fun for you.”
Rhys snorted. “Yeah, it’s pretty from ‘afar,’ but living in it fucking sucks. Even the damn suburbs are too much for me. All of the people, cars, busses, streetlights, stores, smells… I hated it there. The city isn’t really anything to idolize, Everett… Well, maybe you’d like it, actually. I’m the only person I know who’s so negatively affected by it. It sounds so stupid, I know—”
“It isn’t. It’s definitely not stupid; don’t say that! I doubt you’re the only one, and to be honest, I don’t think I’d like it that much either.”
“Oh, yeah, ’cuz of your sensitive nose, huh? That would be pretty overwhelming for you. The city smells like burning garbage.” Rhys chuckled, scrunching up his nose at the thought. “Well, I guess it’s nice to know you understand somewhat. My entire life there was spent feeling like a weirdo, an outsider. I had some friends, but nobody understood, not even my own damn family. Fuck, my parents would get so mad at me when they’d have to pick me up from school because I’d have a panic attack, or when I was older and they’d get calls that I was skipping classes again for the same reason. It was the worst when I’d have one in public—which was like all of the damn time. Especially in grocery stores when my dad would drag me outside and tell me ‘It’s a grocery store. Stop fucking crying or I’ll give you something to actually cry about.’”
Everett’s hand—when had they started holding hands? Rhys didn’t remember—squeezed his own. “Did they ever…hurt you?”
“No,” Rhys whispered with a sigh. “No, but it was just as bad… Them yelling at me would just send me into another panic attack. So damn counterintuitive. You’d think if they wanted me to stop, they’d stop yelling, right? Ha, honestly, I was kind of relieved when they kicked me out. I didn’t have to deal with seeing their pissed off, disappointed faces any longer.
“But…living on my own in the city wasn’t easy. I couldn’t afford psychiatric care any longer without their insurance. Thankfully, they had transferred my college fund a few years prior, so I was able to try to move on with my life, to go to college…and of course, that didn’t go very well. It was somehow even worse than grade school because at least then, the material didn’t matter much, so I could listen to music and read a book. In college, though, I had to pay attention, or else I’d fail. How the fuck did anyone manage to pay attention in a lecture hall full of people whispering under the sound of the professor’s voice booming, with all their disgusting smelling colognes and perfumes, and with the fluorescent lights that were overly bright?”
“Your…um…school sounds awful.” Everett frowned. “What’s cologne and perfume?”
“Stuff people spray on their bodies to smell good, usually really strong. Fruits and flowers and shit. I dunno. I never wore any.”
“That sounds disgusting. Why would anyone wanna smell like a flower? A person’s natural scent is perfect the way it is.”
“I guess…but it really was disgusting. All that shit made me end up failing every single class I tried. After a year, I ran out of money, so I had to get a job in order to pay my rent for the bed in the local youth hostel. Since I had no degree, I was forced to work in low-end, minimum wage, customer-service jobs—all ten of which ended in me being fired for crying in front of the customers. My record was three weeks.” Rhys laughed darkly, humorlessly. “Have you ever worked a retail job like that before?”
Everett was quiet for a moment before answering. “No, I’ve never had a job before.”
“You lucky ass,” Rhys grumbled, though not in anger. “They suck, all of them. After number ten, I was just so fucking done. I didn’t want to try again, because I knew I would fail again, and again, and again. So, with no prospects left, nothing to my name but a meagre savings account, I decided to just fuck everything! Fuck living in the city! I didn’t care anymore, not even when my few friends tried to convince me to stay. They offered me rooms in their places, offered me job connections, but I knew I couldn’t be happy in the city at all. My decision ruined those friendships… I hurt their feelings so much by saying they couldn’t make me happy. But it was the truth. I had to leave. And so…I moved out here.”
Rhys’s frown morphed into a small smile as he remembered the day he first stepped foot on his property, where the only sounds were that of the wind rustling through the trees and birds chirping in their nests. He knew immediately that here was where he was meant to be. The forested mountains had always been his home, had always called out for him in their own perfectly silent way, even before he’d thought about moving to them. It had been worth leaving everything and everyone behind. He was content, for the first time in his life.
“I’m really sorry you had to go through that, but you’re not evil for chasing after what makes you happy. I know you probably miss them though.”
