Even Thistles Bloom, page 17
His half-sister was right. He was a monster.
Chapter 25
Todd had never been arrested, but he hadn’t imagined the process involved this much paperwork. The police shuffled him around, and everywhere he ended up, some tired officer asked him questions and filled out forms. No wonder TV shows focused on shootouts and high-speed chases. Who wanted to watch crime-fighting pencil pushers?
They separated him and Adam, or they tried to. Adam shot Todd looks he couldn’t read as they were ushered into separate rooms. Todd sat in the plastic folding chair, thinking even the principal’s office was more comfortable.
He recognized the two officers who joined him. The short Latina woman, Quintero, and her tall blond partner, Johansen, had questioned him at school after Adam’s first foray into dealing.
“Shouldn’t I have a lawyer?”
“Only if you’re being charged with a crime,” Johansen said.
“I’m not being charged?”
Quintero shrugged. “Lawsuits are hazy when minors commit crimes against someone who is technically still responsible for them. Your dad could file charges against your mom for failing to prevent you from committing the crime, but since he still has visitation rights…”
“We called your mother.” Johansen’s voice dripped sympathy. “She said she wouldn’t pay bail, and jail would keep you out of her hair.”
Todd’s blood drained from his head, making him dizzy. I’m going to jail? “I-I thought I wasn’t—”
“You’re not,” Quintero said. “And even if you were, we don’t detain minors. We’ll release you to your father’s custody, unless your mother shows up to claim you.”
“You’re sending me home with the man whose house I just vandalized?”
Quintero leaned forward. “Kid, your file is awfully thick considering you’ve never formally been charged with a crime. I’d count my blessings if I were you.”
She stood, gesturing for Todd to precede her out the door. He met Adam in the lobby, where their father waited. Ryan’s face had acquired more lines in the past twenty-four hours. He jerked his head toward the door.
“Come on, you can work off the damage you’ve done.”
Todd couldn’t stand the thought of facing that little girl—his little sister—again, but to his shock, Adam slipped wordlessly into the waiting cab. He gave Todd the silent treatment the entire ride.
Their dad paid the cabby and gestured to the house. “You’ll have to sleep on the living room floor tonight.”
Adam stepped inches from his face. “Fuck you.” He pushed his father away and stormed to their car, which was absurdly still parked beside the lawn.
“Come on, Todd. Let’s go home.”
Todd looked from his brother to his father. In one night, he’d betrayed them both. They were both offering him forgiveness, but Todd knew which one meant it.
He joined Adam in their car. On the way home, he watched the rearview mirror for flashing lights, but his father must not have called the cops again. His sons were lost causes.
“What happened to you?” Adam said.
Todd leaned his head against the cold window, exhausted from…everything. “I can’t do it anymore, Adam. I’ll grow weed, but you handle the dealing and vandalism, okay?”
Adam didn’t answer. When they reached home, he dropped into bed and immediately started snoring. Tired as he was, Todd couldn’t sleep. What happened to me? Striving for decency had shifted something in him. Now there were lines that he wouldn’t cross, couldn’t cross, but he still wouldn’t fit in with Claire and her friends.
Was there room in this world for an imperfect person? One who couldn’t be called decent, but wasn’t a monster either?
Todd tossed and turned until sunlight slipped through the blinds. His restless legs drove him out of bed and over to the greenhouse. He considered napping in Mrs. Thompson’s recliner, but he bedded down in his usual spot next to the heater. This time of year, they only needed it at night, but it was still running when his head hit the makeshift pillow made from canvas bags.
He’d barely closed his eyes when Fifi licked his face. He brushed her away, but Noah stood over him.
“Follow me.” He passed into the house, Fifi at his heels. Todd dragged his tired body up the stairs. Noah led him to a small room and sat on a neatly made bed.
“This is for you.” His gesture included the entire room.
Even sleep-deprived, Todd understood Noah’s particular speech pattern, but he struggled with the man’s meaning.
“What?”
Fifi jumped onto Noah’s lap, and he patted the dog before answering. “Mom is sick. More sick. I need help. You can live here, rent-free, and work full-time.” He held up a finger and placed heavy emphasis on his next words. “If you finish school and stay out of trouble.”
Todd leaned against the wall, propping himself upright as his legs gave out. Noah’s offer would allow him to escape his mother’s house, extricate himself from his brother’s schemes, and work a job even Claire would approve of, but that if…
Todd sank to the floor. “I can’t—”
“Yes, you can,” Noah said. “I believe in you.”
Todd met Noah’s gaze, but no hints of sarcasm appeared in the man’s flat-featured face. “You wouldn’t say that if you knew where I’d been all night.”
“I don’t need to know where you’ve been. I know who you are.”
Todd snorted. “And who am I?”
“A good guy.”
The words unlocked a dam in Todd, as if he’d waited his whole life to hear them. I’m a good guy. His eyes watered, and he couldn’t keep the tears from flooding his cheeks. He didn’t have to be a vandal who attacked his own family and sought revenge for every slight. He could garden to his heart’s content, using his strength to serve people instead of hurt them.
Fifi leaped onto his lap and licked away his tears. Todd patted the dog. Noah had a way with strays. Fifi had turned out okay. Maybe there was hope for him.
“You want the room?” Noah asked when Todd looked up.
Todd hesitated, unwilling to betray Noah’s trust the way he had everyone else’s. He’d chosen the honors track to win Claire, but he’d quit school after realizing he’d never meet her standards. Now he had another reason to study. Principal Evans’s words came back to him. “You may have joined for a girl, but you’ll stay for yourself.”
“Yeah.” Todd almost laughed. “Yeah, I do.”
Noah nodded, as if he’d expected that answer. “Get some sleep.”
Todd collapsed onto the bed, not bothering to put himself under the covers. Even though daylight streamed through the curtains, it was the best night’s sleep he’d ever had.
Chapter 26
Fifi’s cold nose woke him. Todd groaned and rolled over, but the earth dropped out from under him. As his butt hit the hardwood, his foggy brain cleared, and he remembered he was in a bedroom instead of on the greenhouse floor. His bedroom.
Todd peered through the curtains at the light skimming the horizon—from the east. That can’t be right. He’d gone to sleep at dawn. Had he slept for twenty-four hours?
An alarm clock blared, and Todd rushed to silence it. A muffin lay on a plate beside it, along with a note written in blocky uppercase letters.
HAVE A GOOD DAY AT SCHOOL.
Todd smiled, unsure whether to be happy the sun hadn’t started setting in the east or dismayed to have slept so long. At least he felt refreshed. Not ready to return to school, but he couldn’t let the Gossip Girls’ rumors, cranky teachers, and disdainful classmates keep him from pursuing the life he wanted. He’d wasted too much time already.
Todd crammed the muffin into his mouth as he straightened his rumpled clothing. He’d have to retrieve his things from home later, assuming this wasn’t a practical joke. No. Noah didn’t like practical jokes, a fact he and Adam had exploited in their younger days.
Adam. What would he tell Adam? Nothing he hadn’t already said. He’d already restricted himself to growing the Ides of March. He could tend Caesar’s plot and work full time at the greenhouse, but first he had to graduate, meaning he needed to get his butt to school.
Todd found the bathroom and splashed water on his face, wincing as the soap stung his cuts. He inspected the scabs in the mirror, but something green caught his attention. On the shelf behind him lay a T-shirt sporting the greenhouse logo. The note pinned to it read TODD in Noah’s childlike handwriting.
At least I won’t look like a bandit. He didn’t know enough about fashion to determine whether a green shirt matched black pants, but he didn’t care. After rinsing off last night’s misadventure, he donned his new shirt and bounded down the stairs. He waved to Noah, who was already puttering about the house. Like many gardeners, Noah woke with the sun. Perhaps Todd would too someday.
More sunshine than usual lit his walk to school, a testament to the longer days and warmer weather to come. The air still held a chill, but it refreshed rather than bit. Todd wiggled through the familiar door. He’d only missed a few school days, but he felt as though he’d died of old age and been reincarnated as a teenager. He vowed to do better this time.
“Look who’s back,” Minh said as he joined her and Cathryn at the art table. “Cat and I took bets on whether we’d see you again.”
Cathryn furrowed her brow. “I don’t gamble.”
“That’s because you know I’m always right.”
“You wagered I’d be back?” Todd said. “I would have thought you’d bet against me.”
“You don’t strike me as a delicate lily that wilts just because someone hurts your feelings,” Minh said as she squirted a blob of green paint onto a newspaper. “You’re more like a thistle—so hard to uproot that the gardener decides the flower is pretty and claims she planted it on purpose.”
“Are you saying I’m pretty?”
“I can make art with anything.” Minh grabbed his left hand, dunked his stubs into her paint blob, and used them to paint.
Todd laughed. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed art class silliness.
Cathryn cleared her throat. “You missed a civics test, and you’re a full unit behind in math.”
Todd raised his eyes to the ceiling. Couldn’t she have waited five minutes before dropping that avalanche?
“Can you still tutor me?”
Cathryn smiled as if she’d been hoping he’d say that. “I had to stay home a few days this week, so I used the extra time to make study guides.”
Minh’s raised eyebrow suggested she thought Cathryn ought to get more fresh air, but in lieu of commenting, she plunged Todd’s hand into a blob of blue paint. Todd allowed it, figuring he may as well participate in the art he was getting credit for. Cathryn outlined the content he’d missed, and though it overwhelmed him, he could finish it. He had to if he wanted to stay with Noah.
Todd didn’t wait for Oliver to finish praising Minh’s “embracing the human body for the tool it is” before hurrying to economics. Instead of scolding Todd from behind the lectern, Mr. Patel remained at his desk, his eyes slanted as if he resented the latecomer’s distracting him from important business. He must have allocated the entire hour for project work.
Todd caught Claire’s eye, but Beth greeted him first.
“How is Minh always right?”
“You bet I wouldn’t come back?”
“After what Maite told us? I thought you’d gotten yourself killed.”
Todd slowed, feet heavy as he reached his seat. “What did Maite tell you?”
Claire answered. “She said the p-p-p-Officer Johansen showed her your photo and asked whether you were the one who vandalized the shop.”
“Oh. Right.” So much for a fresh start.
“Todd, are you in trouble?” Claire gestured to the scratches Adam dug through his face.
Todd hesitated. “I was, but I’m done with that now. I even got a full-time job offer for after graduation.” He pointed to his T-shirt.
“I never would have pegged you as a gardener,” Saafi said. She and Beth were once again ignoring their project in favor of eavesdropping. Knowing those two, they were ahead anyway.
Beth gestured to Todd’s hand. “Didn’t know gardeners used that much paint.”
Todd wiggled his stubs, showing off the lingering paint smudges. “Your sister welcomed me back by using me as a human paint brush.”
Beth laughed. “I love that girl.” The noise elicited a hiss from Mr. Patel, and she and Saafi refocused on their own project.
Claire cleared her throat. “I’m…I’m sorry about what happened in Mosaic.”
Todd blinked, trying to remember the last time someone apologized to him. Claire had hurt him, and she knew it. Was this her asking for a second chance? How should he respond? A relationship with Claire was no longer his primary goal. He had his own life plans now, but could Claire take part in them? What if she rejected him again?
Todd had spent all year seeking absolution, but for the first time, he understood the burden of forgiving. He glanced at Saafi, overwhelmed by her courage.
“Todd?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Todd scooted closer to Claire, not knowing where this road would lead, but wanting to travel down it anyway. “Is it in a restauranteur’s budget to install security cameras and shatter-resistant glass?”
“To sssssafeguard our vegetables?”
“I was thinking to protect your secret recipes, but…”
Claire chuckled. “I’m sure Maite would give us a c-consultation.”
They decided a safe would prove more economical than shatter-proof glass, and they brainstormed additional security measures for the rest of class.
Todd spoke bluntly to his next teachers, acknowledging his late work but committing to finishing it. Remarkably, the majority agreed to give him extensions. Either they sensed his sincerity, or he was the only student on the honors track with late assignments, so his wouldn’t create too much extra grading. A weird advantage, but Todd wouldn’t complain. He’d never feared hard work, but now he committed to exercising his brain as well as his biceps. He wasn’t sure whether the change in circumstances or the change in himself improved his attitude, but for the first time, he felt like he would survive high school. He had hope again, thanks to Noah.
Maybe all he’d needed was for someone to believe in him.
Todd strode through the cafeteria, disappointed that his usual table looked the same as always. With how different he felt, it should have been gold-plated. He dunked a dry chicken nugget in ketchup, wondering where Adam was. Had he officially dropped out? Most buyers of the Ides of March attended Brooks High. Why would Adam abandon his customer base? Todd hadn’t schmoozed with the stoners lately, so Adam would have to handle the networking. Why wasn’t he here? Was he still mad?
Before Todd finished his wild thoughts, Adam appeared, grinning as he plopped an extra chocolate milk next to Todd. They’d always eaten lunch together, but as with the unchanged table, the familiarity troubled more than it comforted, as if his brother brought a heavy shadow with him.
“I need you after school today,” Adam said. “We are back in business.”
“I’m not helping you deal anymore.”
“What, because of last night?” Adam said around a mouthful of breaded chicken. “The cops caught us red-handed, and they still couldn’t do anything. I figure we ought to take advantage of our lucky streak.” He popped another chicken nugget into his mouth.
“I’m not worried about getting caught. I just don’t want to deal.” Todd pushed his lunch tray aside, no longer hungry.
Adam chewed slowly. “You’re serious. What is with you? You never had a problem selling the Ides of March.”
The Ides of March doesn’t turn brothers into psychopaths. Did Adam even remember that night? Todd would never forget the crazed look in his twin’s eye.
“We should stick to our strengths. I’ll grow the weed. You handle the business. If you need someone to loom threateningly over your shoulder, ask Big Brody.”
Adam’s expression darkened more with every word that left Todd’s mouth. “You—”
“And I need the car this weekend.”
“What?” Adam’s surprised gesture knocked over his milk. He didn’t bother wiping up the spill.
“I need to haul some equipment to Caesar’s.”
Adam scanned him as if wondering whether Todd was an imposter. He wasn’t used to taking orders from Todd, and judging by his expression, he didn’t like it. Todd lifted his chin. Adam would have to accept his terms if he wanted Todd’s help.
“Fine.” Adam lurched to his feet, taking the extra chocolate milk with him.
Though the confrontation unsettled Todd, setting boundaries gave him the confidence to convince the rest of his teachers to accept his late work. He marched home, victory warming him enough that he wouldn’t have needed his jacket even if he’d brought it. When he stepped through his back door, he was ready for his mother’s ambush.
“Todd, I need you to—”
“No.” He savored the word.
Her long, painted fingernails dug into her hip. “Excuse me? As long as you live under my roof—”
“Then I guess I’d better move out.” Todd pushed past her, retrieved his things from his room, and left his childhood behind for good.
Chapter 27
Though his teenage body begged for more sleep, Todd hauled himself out of bed just after dawn. Noah passed him in the hallway, carrying a breakfast tray for Mrs. Thompson, who was still recovering from a cold that had hit her harder than the flu.
“There’s extra in the kitchen, and I left you a list.”
Todd grunted his good morning and found scrambled eggs and fruit for his own breakfast. He liked that the Thompsons always had real food, nothing from a box for them. The eggs tasted better than the toaster tarts he’d eaten at home. No, he reminded himself, this was home now.
