Hell's Viper (Hell's March MC Book 1), page 15
What I should do is read the letter before I speak to Genni.
My fingers grip the corner of the envelope as I slowly pull it out, giving it its first brush with lamplight since the day it was given to me.
Davis is written on the front, the cursive almost faded but still visibly beautiful. I flip the envelope over and stare at the seal. Even after all this time, the glue has remained intact, and I’ll be the only other person to touch the page inside besides my mother.
My heart races as I slip my finger beneath the fold, the glue giving way with a crinkling sound. I’m about halfway through opening it when a knock sounds at my door. My finger pauses as I continue to stare down at the yellowing paper. I debate getting up to answer it when a voice filters through the wooden slab.
“Davis? Are you in there?” My heart jams up into my throat at the sound of Genni’s voice, and I swallow down the curse threatening to spill from my mouth because I’m not sure I’m ready to do this yet.
Folding the envelope back in half, I tuck it into my pocket as I get up from the bed. My feet are like lead as I walk to the door, every step sucking me into the floor like quicksand. Resting my hand on the handle, I debate pretending I’m not here just to have a little more time to prepare myself. Then her sharp knock startles me out of that thought and I open the door.
“Hey.” She smiles, the expression tentative as her eyes rove over my face, no doubt doing exactly as I am and picking out our similarities.
“Hey.” My voice cracks and I clear it as I stare at her expectantly.
“Is it a bad time?” She shifts from foot to foot as her hands clasp together, her nervousness hitting me like a tidal wave.
I open my mouth to say yes, but “No,” comes out instead. I open the door further and step aside as she slowly walks into the room. She looks around, her long hair swinging around her waist.
“You don’t have any pictures,” she notes as she sits on the chair by my desk.
“Did you expect pictures of a loving father? Or maybe a family portrait?” It’s harsh and cruel, the retort feeling like ash in my mouth, and I wince with regret as she gives me a sad smile.
“I guess not,” she answers, her voice soft as she tips her head to the side. “Sorry.”
That one single word has me drowning in guilt as I exhale my breath and sit on the end of my bed to face her. “No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s okay, Davis. I want you to be able to say anything to me. This is why I’ve been wanting to talk to you for so long. You deserve to have a family.” Her words have my throat sealing with emotion as my eyes drift from hers to the floor. I can’t look her in the eyes and accept her offer, not when I’m undeserving of it. She must sense my thoughts because she adds, “We deserve to be a family, Davis. After everything that’s been taken from us, don’t you think we should have some happiness?”
Shock courses through me when a tear slips down my cheek and drips off my jaw to the carpet under my feet. I can’t remember the last time I cried. It didn’t happen when Genni walked into the Hell’s March compound and shot my father between the eyes, it didn’t happen when I found out my mother was used most of her life, and it certainly didn’t happen when I nearly went over the edge of the Grand Canyon a few weeks ago.
“Sorry,” I mutter as I wipe the tear from my face, my jaw tensing as I try to tamp down the emotions running through me.
“Why have you been avoiding me?” I lift my head to look at her and find her eyes swimming with tears as well. “We got along before everything came out. Did I do something wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything,” I assure her as I shift on the bed. “It was the letter and finding out everything about our mother. I didn’t want to talk about it and thought maybe if I buried it deep enough, I’d never have to.” I reach into my pocket and draw out the envelope. “I haven’t even opened it yet.”
“It’s not easy to read her letters,” she warns me as she reaches out and runs her finger over my name on the front. “But I can be here with you if you want?”
It’s hard to absorb her comforting words because they do nothing to ease the guilt eating me alive. There’s unresolved trauma inside of me and it has everything to do with never having a true family, and I don’t mean my brothers. They’ve been a great family to me, but they aren’t the same as a blood relative. Now that I have one thrusted at me, I don’t know what to do with it.
I swallow thickly and nod as I flip over the envelope and slip my finger beneath the already cracked seal. Before I can change my mind, I quickly run my finger along the full flap, opening it in one go.
“You don’t have to read it out loud if you don’t want to. I’ll just be here with you.” I’m thankful she suggested that because I don’t want to have to read out loud while navigating through my feelings.
Pulling out the sheaf of paper, I carefully unfold it to find faded ink and more of my mother’s cursive writing. “She had nice handwriting,” I comment as Genni hums in agreement.
Dearest Davis,
I hate that I have to write you a letter instead of pulling you into my arms and whispering these words against the soft skin of your cheek. You have the softest velvet skin, and if I close my eyes, I swear I can still feel it.
Writing this letter is painful because I can’t be sure you’ll ever receive it, but I can’t let you believe I left you willingly. I think about you every day, every waking second my heart begs for you. Breathing hurts, eating is impossible, and keeping my eyes open is agony. I would rather lay in bed and dream of you instead.
I can still hear your sweet giggle as you clench your chubby fists and tip your head back, those sweet brown curls bouncing around your face. Every inch of you is ingrained in my mind and my heart beats for the day we meet again.
There’s such a thing as fate and I believe I was taken from you because you were meant to have a sister. One day you two will meet and everything I endured will be worth it. You both mean so much to me and will be my living legacy, not your fathers’.
Davis, you are not Barrett Brown. You may have his genes, but you also have mine. Don’t live a second longer believing you’re anything like him. You’re mine and my soul will carry on inside of you, guiding you to be the best version of yourself. I won’t let you become him.
If you haven’t met your sister, search for Genevieve Varga, she’s Victor Varga’s daughter and even if he’s changed her name, I know his pride will prevent him from hiding her. Please find her and protect her from him. Both of your fathers are monsters. Barrett displays his internal rot like a trophy, but Victor hides his under the guise of being a good man.
Save her and protect her. I hate to leave you with this heavy burden but you are family and I live inside her too.
I love you with every essence of my being, my son. Live every day with good intentions and open your heart for the love you deserve. Don’t bury yourself inside the actions of your father, and know that even now, I love you beyond this life and into eternity.
Until the day we meet again,
Love,
Your mommy.
I read the letter twice before looking up at Genni, and her brows crinkle together with worry as she watches me closely. Without saying a word, I hand her the piece of paper and she takes it with a shaking hand.
Standing from the bed, I begin to pace the narrow length of my room as Genni reads the letter, her sniffles widening the cracks already forming in my heart. Our mother wanted me and Genni to be reunited, hoping I would protect her from her father, but Genni did that all on her own. I hope our mother truly does live inside of us so she would’ve witnessed the strength of her daughter.
“Fuck, that was difficult,” Genni whispers as she refolds the letter, her words making me pause. “You can feel her love pouring from every word.”
“Was yours like that?” My voice is hoarse as I fight the breakdown threatening to overcome me.
“Similar.” She nods as her sorrowful eyes find mine. “She would be proud of us, Davis, and so happy we did find each other. I can’t help but think she somehow made it happen from beyond the grave.”
“Yeah,” I murmur, because I agree. Even though my sister endured torture at the hands of my father and the death of her own father, it did bring us together.
“I don’t want to waste any more time,” she urges as she rises from the chair and comes to stand in front of me. “She wanted us to be a family.”
“We are,” I assure her as she steps closer and wraps her arms around me, the embrace reminding me that I’m not alone. “It’s been hard to accept what my father did and I haven’t been able to move on.” I hug her back as her head moves against my shoulder. “I should’ve read that sooner.”
She pulls back and wipes the tears from her cheeks as she nods. “Yeah, but I understand why you didn’t. We lived different lives. My father may have done horrendous things to our mother, but he was a good father to me. He loved me. Your life was the complete opposite.”
“Let’s go get a drink,” I suggest as I open my door. “We fucking need it.”
She laughs as she heads out. “We do.”
The music is blaring as we walk into the main room, the brothers finally settling down for the night. Jaeger has been running a tight ship around here and we’ve been running missions hard to make up revenue. Some of it legal but most of it not. Guns, drugs, and strippers have been providing the club with money from inception and there’s no plan to stop that now.
The bar is full, and I spot Rockz standing in front of a familiar head of curls as he pours a few fruity-looking drinks. Genni heads right for her friend as I lag a bit behind, not wanting to verbally spar with Delia after everything that’s happened. I’m emotionally drained.
Chainz comes up to stand behind me, his hand resting on my shoulder. “Your sister and that Viper brought in a new, pretty thing. She looks like she’s as much of a handful as the other two though.”
That’s when I notice the brunette sitting next to Delia. She’s dressed in a pantsuit and her hair is twisted into a chignon at the back of her head. “Why does she look like someone official?” I continue to scrutinize her as Chainz lets out a grunt.
“Official or not, I’d like her legs around my head.”
If she’s anything like the company she keeps, the only time her legs will be strapped around his head is when she’s squeezing the air from his lungs.
After dropping the bodies off at the dump, Ajani and I head back to the compound. We decided to leave them in their new bra and panties set, and when Benny saw them, his protruding gut almost burst from his button-down shirt as he laughed. Delia has a twisted sense of humor and I am fucking here for it. It’s only made me like her more, and even though I should be feeling guilty about it, I don’t.
Ajani is a good man and a great brother, his patience seemingly having no bounds because I don’t think I could handle the same situation with as much grace. After five years of having a woman to myself, my attachment would make me murderous toward any man trying to step in. It would be foreign territory if we hadn’t become accustomed to seeing the Dragon’s Prez with her men. Now, that’s all I can imagine. I’d be open to sharing Delia with Ajani, although I haven’t said that to him. It’s not my place to suggest it and I don’t want to cause any more trouble in their relationship.
“Sounds like another party,” I groan as we pull into the compound lot, the bass of the music finding its way inside the van. The thought of getting blackout drunk and falling into my bed fully clothed is not appealing at the moment.
“Delia and Genni are here too,” Ajani adds as he parks and cuts the engine. “Thanks for your help today.”
“I think we work well together,” I remark as he gives me a sidelong glance. Might as well start oiling those gears now.
“Yeah, we do,” he reluctantly admits as we get out of the van. That’s surprisingly not a Go fuck yourself, Cruz. “Let’s hope we don’t have to do that again for a while though.”
“Touching men in bras and panties isn’t my thing, at least not dead ones.” Ajani chuckles at my comment as we head for the door, the music growing louder the closer we get.
“Delia is volatile and fucking stubborn, but she loves purely. She will have you ripping your hair out one minute, then melting at her feet the next. She’s a private person and prefers to be affectionate behind closed doors, although, you guys fucking in a public bathroom debunks that.” He gives me a dry look as I toe the dirt with my boot. I’m not sure why he’s saying all of this.
“It was a locked bathroom,” I clarify as he snorts.
“All I’m saying is I would do anything to make her happy. Her life has been difficult and she’s never found stability in one place. If you do that for her, make her feel more like this is her home, I’d be accommodating. But make no mistake, I won’t ever step aside. She’s mine and I will kill anyone who tries to take her from me.” His threat is clear and I swallow the apprehension that snakes through me.
“I understand,” I mutter as he nods.
“It’s her choice, but I wouldn’t stop her from exploring and I’m not completely against her dating outside of us.” His admission both shocks and thrills me.
“Like I said, she hasn’t given me any inclination that it was more than a one-time thing.” I reach for the door when his hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me.
“Give her some time.”
“Okay,” I agree as I haul open the door and a cloud of smoke floats around our heads. “Jesus, are they setting themselves on fire for a protest? Has Malik been reading them the Bible again?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Ajani snorts as we step inside. He spots Delia’s brother sitting on the couches with Jaeger and Quinton and gives me another nod before heading that way.
As if by force, my eyes immediately zoom in on the bar and I find my little assassin sitting there with the big boss and their new friend. The three of them look like they’re enjoying themselves and when Delia lets loose a loud cackle, my mouth creeps upward into a smile.
“Where the hell have you been, Muffin?” I turn to find Davis beside me, looking happier than he has been in a long time.
“I should’ve been Stud,” I grumble as he laughs, nudging his shoulder with mine. It’s shocking to hear that sound escape his mouth and when he notices my surprised expression, he gives me a shrug.
“I had a talk with Genni,” he reveals. “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”
My heart warms as his eyes soften, his shoulders seeming more relaxed as he folds his arms over his chest before looking toward his sister at the bar. “I’m really glad, brother.” If anyone in this club deserves something good, it’s Davis. He’s been through enough in his life and it’s time he begins to truly live. He’s been living in his father’s cursed shadow for so long that he looks like a new man finally stepping out into the sunlight.
“How did the cleanup go with Ajani? I see you made it back without a bruise on that pretty face,” he prods as I roll my eyes.
“Ajani is a better man than the rest of us could ever hope to be.” My eyes flick toward the man as he laughs with Diego Montez and then sips on a beer. “He cares a lot about Delia.”
“He is a good man,” Davis agrees as I turn to look at him. “He’s always done what was right, no matter the consequences.”
“This club is becoming something I am truly proud of,” I confess as he nods. “Your father brought us a lot of turmoil, but we’ve overcome it. Especially you.”
“I’m going to get a drink,” he growls as he gives me a shove. “You’re getting that sentimental look on your face.”
He heads toward the bar as the three women leave it, the group meeting in the middle. Genni gives him a hug, but Delia completely ignores him, her stride eating up the space between us with purpose. I swallow down the urge to sprint in the opposite direction as she stops to stand in front of me, her eyes scanning over me.
“Where were you today?” she inquires as she crosses her arms over her chest.
“Looking for me, were you?” I smirk as she fights to hold back her grin.
“No. Just noticed the place was a little less chaotic.” She shrugs her shoulders, her trench moving and revealing her guns.
“I went with Ajani to clean up your mess. Nice touch with the bra and panty sets, by the way.” Her brows shoot up her forehead as her head turns to peer at Ajani, my eyes doing the same. He’s already watching us as she gives him a soft smile.
“I thought they would make great mannequin displays.” She turns back to look at me. “Don’t you agree?”
“Not even a little.” I shake my head as she chuckles, her hand patting my chest. “Where are you off to?”
Her brow raises as she drops her hand. “I have a date.”
“With Ajani?”
She gives me a mischievous smile as she turns on her heel and heads toward him, her hips swaying with exaggerated movements as though she knows I’m watching. She stands between Ajani’s spread legs before bending to whisper in his ear as his hand wraps around the back of her neck and guides her mouth to his. I know I should look away, but I can’t seem to stop watching as they devour each other.
Diego gives them a brief look, his eyes narrowing and his brows coming together before he turns away, giving them a little privacy. It’s clear he’s still processing their relationship, but I think it’s a good sign that he hasn’t punched Ajani in the face yet.
Then she straightens and turns away from him, his hooded eyes watching every step she takes as she strides for the door to where Genni and their friend are waiting. I’m shocked when she leaves and Ajani remains seated.
Who the fuck does she have a date with? And just how open is Ajani and her relationship?
My mind races as fast as my heart as I ride toward Diego Montez’s house to pick up his little sister for our date. As much as I’m excited to see her again, my stomach feels like a lead weight is resting at the bottom of it as I replay everything that happened between Rockz and me.
