Threads of Fate, page 21
Roan nodded. No one would have known the relationship Jes had with Etta. If she had been Roan’s mother away from home as a child, she had become Jes’s mother as an adult. Roan smiled at her. On the outside Etta appeared hard and stern, but the woman had a heart practically made of gold.
His voice stayed a whisper as he glanced at the floor. “I messed up.” The admission was painful for him to voice.
Etta rubbed his back in a comforting motherly way and made a small disapproving tsk. “Roan, we all mess up. Do you think that I never lose myself with Kai? I’ve been married to the man for over six decades now and sometimes I think I might kill him.”
Appreciating her humor, Roan laughed. “Etta. This is different.”
“Oh, knock it off. You and I both know that you would have never hurt that woman,” she replied.
“We don’t know what I’m capable of.”
Roan winced at Etta’s responding smack against his shoulder. The small weathered woman may have looked fragile, but she was strong. Both physically and in her opinions. “Roan Durel. We do not pity ourselves in this house. I will not allow it. I know your heart. I know your intentions, but most importantly you know who you are. You would have never hurt her.”
His lips tightened while he held back his laugh at her sternness. She wasn’t wrong. He knew who he was and he worked every day to keep his temper and anger at bay. Despite what he knew, however, he also knew Orah deserved to trust she was safe, and he had broken that trust.
“I have to let her go,” he said.
Etta’s small hand squeezed his arm, “I know you do. She’s not your prisoner and you’re not going to treat her as such, but maybe there’s a chance she’ll come back.” A moment of silence passed between them before Etta glanced around the room. “You know, I use this room sometimes,” she whispered.
Roan’s eyes widened. “What?” His mind couldn’t conjure any image of her in the room other than resetting the wards for cleanliness.
Etta stood a bit taller and nodded her head. “When life feels like it’s out of control this room offers me a quiet you won’t find anywhere else.” His eyebrows rose and he stared at her, trying to understand what she was saying. He opened his mouth to speak but she held up her hand, continuing her thought. “This room has a way of providing me with the exact quiet I need when I’m desperate for it. Isn’t it interesting that doors would appear?” Turning, she looked up at him with a stern expression on her face. “The wards on this home are not easily violated. I think even your Father would find that difficult. Are you certain they were His doors that you saw?” Abruptly she turned and walked out of the room.
Roan stood there, almost paralyzed from his confusion while he tried to process what she had said. Now alone in the room, he stared at the spot the doors had been. He sighed, if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes he wouldn’t have believed it. He glanced back to the door Etta walked out of. Maybe she was right. Maybe if he were patient then Orah would come back and whatever it was between them wasn’t actually broken beyond repair.
It took Roan half a day to get enough funds for Orah gathered. She didn’t know where she wanted to go but decided an inn in the city would be her best option until she made her decision. An odd tension seemed to settle over the house the day of her planned departure. Word of Orah leaving was sent to Lahana but she was unable to arrive back to Iluna in time for goodbyes.
He leaned against his desk chair, staring up at the ceiling trying to think of anything other than her departure. The stack of papers in front of him was supposed to distract him, but he hadn’t been able to focus on anything other than her. The study was suffocating, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to be able to manage working there with so many fragments of Orah lying about the library on the other side of the wall. He thought he would likely make more use of his offices near the city center. Something his officials would appreciate.
His study door creaked open and he glanced over, finding Jes watching him.
Jes’s eyes glimmered with guilt. “Are you going to be okay?” Cautiously, he made his way into the room, sitting down at the chair across from Roan.
Roan nodded, glancing back up at the ceiling. “Yes, I’ll be fine. I’m a big boy Jes. Nothing ever really went far between us. I can get over a crush.”
Jes’s responding snort pulled Roan’s eyes from the ceiling back at his Beskermer. “Yes, because you have acted like what you feel for her is only a crush.” The blunt and honest response made Roan chuckle. There Jes was again, using that uncomfortable talent of his, always knowing more than Roan wanted him to.
Roan knew what he was about to say next wasn’t completely true, he knew Jes did as well, but he sighed and forced it out anyway. “Honestly though, I will be okay.” His gaze on Jes turned serious, enacting his position as Governing God, “Just make sure she’s watched at least while she’s staying in Iluna. Even after that, if we find out where she goes, I want someone nearby at all times.”
“You know she’s too observant to not pick up on someone trailing her, right?” Jes responded, holding his lips tight in an obvious attempt to push down a smile.
“Well, you’ll just have to find me someone she won’t notice. Alright?”
Jes nodded his head before looking back at the study doors then to Roan.
Dread settled in Roan’s chest, the look on Jes’s face was one he didn’t like. “Is there something more we need to discuss?”
Jes stood and shut the study door. “The Fates have decided on the date of the challenge.”
The world disappeared for a brief moment while Roan stared down at the papers on his desk. While he had been waiting, he didn’t expect the dread and anger now coursing through him. His response was barely audible, “It took them long enough. They were faster with deciding last time. When did they decide?”
Jes approached Roan’s desk, handing him the announcement. “Exactly one month after your birthday.”
Roan couldn’t bring himself to read the proclamation. Nodding he glanced up at Jes. “All this means is that we have more time to prepare.”
“Prepare for what, Roan? To throw the competition again like last time?” The anger in Jes’s voice shocked Roan.
“You know exactly why I held back last time,” Roan replied.
“Yes, but you don’t have to hold back now. Don’t be afraid. You won’t become Him if you allow yourself to fight at your full capacity.”
“Enough.” The temperature in the room shifted to a chilling cold with Roan’s command. Standing he put out his hand, he would not be lectured. They knew the date now and that was all that mattered. “We have more important things to worry about today than this challenge.”
“More impor—” Jes’s eyes widened. “Are you talking about Orah leaving? That’s more important than the challenge?”
“Jes, enough.” Roan moved across his study, heading to the doors. Pulling open the door Roan glanced back at Jes once more. Jes’s expression was hard, as though he wanted to say more but held himself from speaking. They glared at one another then a clearing throat behind Roan startled him. Turning back to the open door, he found Orah standing in the foyer.
She glanced between the two of them nervously. “Am I interrupting something?”
Jes opened his mouth to respond before Roan cut him off. “No, nothing. Can I help you with anything?”
Fidgeting with the ring on her pinky, she stared at Jes. “I just wanted to let you know that I’ve decided to leave after dinner this evening. Yohan and I are going to go get me a room during his afternoon break and then I want to eat with everyone one last time.” Her eyes shifted to the floor.
She still hasn’t looked at me.
“Not everyone. Lahana won’t be able to make it back in time,” Roan replied, trying not to allow himself to feel hurt by the lack of eye contact.
“I know. I’ve invited her to dinner in the city when she gets back. Just the two of us,” Orah replied.
“She’ll love that.” Roan glanced back at Jes, finding him unmoving, staring at the floor. Roan told Jes he owed Orah an apology and the guilt coming from Jes told Roan that was what he was gathering courage to do.
Stepping forward, Jes breathed out, “Orah.”
The air in the room shifted to a stifling heat and she glared. “I don’t want to hear it, Jesiel.”
Swapping an alarmed glance between themselves, Roan and Jes stepped back, allowing Orah more space. Jes’s shoulders lifted in a defeated shrug. “I guess I deserve that,” he muttered as he slid past Orah and through the study doors. She watched him stalk silently down the hall before turning back to Roan.
“I’ll see you at dinner,” she whispered, still refusing to look at him.
Dinner was a melancholy experience. Yohan put forth one of his best meals, but the group ate in silence. Jes decided not to join and left the house after the interaction with Orah outside of Roan’s study. He was likely out in the city center drowning his regrets alongside his new recruits. Roan wished, multiple times, throughout the evening that he had been able to join Jesiel instead of suffering through the awkward meal.
“So, Orah.” Kai cleared his throat while everyone else at the table jumped from the unexpected breaking of silence. “Were you able to get a room set up for yourself?”
“Yes, I was. Thank you for the recommendation you gave to Yohan. We were able to get me a comfortable room.”
Kai gave Roan a subtle glance and Roan nodded in return. The recommendation hadn’t been Kai’s. Roan was aware of the owner of the inn and knew it was a safe place for Orah to stay while in Iluna.
Uncomfortable silence settled over the room again while everyone finished their meal. Roan glanced at his family. The family he had spent over five decades building. He didn’t view Yohan and his children or Kai and Etta as employees They took care of him. They supported his endeavors and aspirations and there was a part of him that had hoped Orah was becoming one of them.
Shaking his head, he tried to push down the guilt in his chest. He couldn’t help but feel responsible for it all and despite Etta’s firm scolding on not pitying himself, he found himself feeling that way anyway. There he sat at a silent table full of people. There was no drinking and laughing to enjoy. No jokes or storytelling. Not even Clarah pestering Orah to tell them all about her world and her life. None of what Roan had grown accustomed to over the previous weeks. There was no way for him to not feel responsible.
He watched Orah as she stood from the table. Despite the push inside of him to stand he remained in his seat while she hugged the others.
“I’ll meet you at the gate in an hour,” Yohan whispered, releasing her from his arms.
Now alone in the room, Roan and Orah stared at each other. He couldn’t bring himself to pull his eyes from hers when she had done everything she could the last day and a half to avoid his. Finally, he pulled his gaze and admired her beauty, admiring her from head to toe. Doing everything he could to memorize the red in her hair, the gold in her eyes, the freckles that dotted her shoulders. When his eyes landed back on hers again, he smiled at the blush now spread across her cheeks.
He motioned toward the kitchen windows. “Look at you, going out into the big, wide Land of the Gods.”
A grin cracked across her face, then she glanced at the floor. “Thank you for the money. I promise I won’t mooch off you forever. If I never make it home, I will get myself employment.”
Mooch? He chuckled to himself. One of those words she used that was as equally amusing as it was confusing. “Just take care of yourself, please.”
She nodded and looked toward the doors. A tight cold tugged at Roan—her apprehension and nerves. He realized he was likely keeping her from gathering her bags. Stepping aside, he gestured out the kitchen doors. “I don’t want to keep you or make you late to meeting Yohan outside.”
Tucking her chin in, she whispered, “Thank you,” before rushing out of the kitchen. She paused before walking down the hallway. Standing under the door frame, she observed the kitchen, as though she were committing every last detail to memory. Sighing, she patted the frame then turned and walked down the hall.
Staring after her, Roan sighed. You’re going to wait until she walks out the front gates. He was unable to accept that she was leaving until he watched her walk off his property with his own two eyes. He glanced around the quiet kitchen and felt a tug of sadness from the meal they’d all experienced. He wished they could have all had better goodbyes. Really, he wished there hadn’t been any goodbyes.
Walking back to the table he sat down, losing himself in his thoughts. He didn’t want to sit in his study and make her feel as though he were watching her, but he also didn’t want to follow her upstairs. Leaning his chin against his palms he stared at the wall.
The clock in the study chimed, echoing down the hall and he jumped, the hour had come and gone faster than he’d expected. Standing with a stretch he rushed out of the room. He’d given her space, but he wanted to be there when she walked away.
He rushed down the hall, reaching the stairs right as she arrived at the bottom. Stopping, she glanced down the hall, past him, then toward the front door. As though she were trying to decide which door to go through. With a sigh she picked up her bag and turned her head to him.
“For what it’s worth, Roan. I wasn’t completely miserable staying here. I just,” she paused. “I just think it’s time I leave.”
Stepping forward, Roan nodded his head. “I understand, Orah. For what it’s worth, you have my most sincere apology.” Her bag clattered to the ground loudly and her hand flew to her mouth, covering her gasp at Roan lowering himself to a bow. He knew she deserved his respect, and she would receive nothing else when she left his home. Slowly he stood, staring at the tears lining her eyes. Twisting her head to the side he watched her hand quickly move to her face to wipe the tears away.
His voice was barely above a whisper, he said, “Can I help you with your bag?”
Keeping her eyes from his, she shook her head. “No, I got it. I’m just going to go out the front door. It’s silly, but I can’t bring myself to go out the side door.”
She picked up her bag and walked toward the front door. Roan crossed his arms against himself, trying to warm the cold broken feeling growing inside of him. He watched her make her way to the door when his skin prickled. Eyes widening, his senses went on alert the moment her hand reached for the handle.
His arms flew out in front of him and his voice rose in panic. “Orah! Don’t touch that—” His warning was cut off, and he watched in horror as the door was flung off its hinges.
Chapter 18
Thrown back by the force of the door coming off its hinges, Orah fell back. Her body shook and her power danced under her skin. Glancing up, she tensed, finding Marek now where the door once stood. A predatory grin spread on Marek’s lips while he glanced at her bag on the ground, then behind her at Roan.
“Why, Orah, leaving so soon? If you need somewhere to stay, I’ve got a warm bed you can climb into,” Marek said.
Roan moved to stand between her and his brother. “What are you doing here?”
“Father sent me.” He sauntered past Roan, knocking him with his shoulder as he walked to the sitting room.
Roan’s gaze followed Marek before he turned and whispered to Orah. “If you want to leave you can walk out that door or go upstairs, but I would suggest you do it now.”
Orah stared into the sitting room as Marek sat down casually and grinned at her. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to let your brother scare me,” she replied as she pulled herself to her feet.
Nodding, Roan lowered his voice more. “Do not engage with him. Do not let him know what happened in the training room—please.”
Orah nodded in agreement, then walked toward the sitting room. Her power danced more wildly inside of her, full of anticipation for the conversation that was about to unfold.
Roan followed close behind her and closed the sitting room doors. Marek’s grin remained, his eyes traveled up and down the length of Orah’s body. “Orah, why don’t you come sit with me.” His eyes sparkled while he lightly tapped his thigh. Keeping her eyes on him, Orah sat down on the chair across from him.
She maintained her eye contact with Marek. His eyes darted to her side and she turned to find Roan sitting down in the chair next to her. Roan had an expression of cool indifference on his face, but she knew it was a mask. One she wasn’t sure Roan held confidently enough to convince his brother.
Finally breaking their gaze, Marek lazily wiped his pant leg. “So Roan, what have you been up to?”
“What?” Roan replied with a scoff.
“You heard me. What have you been up to here in your sad little Region?”
“Marek, why did Father send you?” Roan asked.
“My question is related to why Father sent me.” Marek stopped fiddling with his leg and looked up at Roan. Orah jumped at the expression on his face. Something almost evil and sickening was hidden behind the smile he forced. Roan shifted in his chair uncomfortably and Marek grinned wider before clearing his throat. “I’ll ask again. What have you been up to?”
“Nothing terribly exciting. Party prep.” Roan’s answering shrug seemed to irritate Marek and he leaned forward, nostrils flaring.
“Well, that’s a lie. And before you try and tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll keep going.” With a wink, Marek turned to Orah then glanced at Roan. “Father felt an odd, small burst of power yesterday morning. It took him all day, but he finally tracked it down to here. What did you do and please tell me how you managed to block him from tracking it immediately? I thought he was going to light the throne room in flames when he realized it came from here.”
Orah held her unphased expression as desperately as she could while she took in what Marek was saying. A small burst of power yesterday. The doors. That was yesterday. That had been her.
