“Listen here, son. I meant it when I said I remember you. You breeze in every few months for a suck ’n’ duck, leavin’ a twenty as a tip for the bar staff so they don’t tell the two-faced little weekenders you go off with that you ain’t as drunk as you like to pretend.”

  David put a hand down against the bar top and pushed himself up so he was standing, but Quinn whipped the towel off his shoulder and snapped it against David’s side, stopping him.

  “What are you thinkin’, comin’ in here with him? You think that pretty brother of yours is going to come pick up the pieces if you get started with that shit again?”

  “Quinn.” David had been coming in to Red’s since college and counted Quinn as a friend, but he wouldn’t stand for him treating Erik like that.

  The old man pursed his lips but stopped his tirade. “You do what you want, Davey, but you ain’t gonna do it here.” He looked at Erik. “You think I don’t know what goes on in my bathrooms? You’re a big boy. You do what you want. But you fuck this guy over and you’re gonna have to find a new bar to do it in. He’s already had his heart broke once. I ain’t gonna watch it happen again.”

  Erik’s face was devoid of expression when he tossed a five on the bar.

  “For the Coke.”

  David didn’t bother watching him go, though he was torn between going after him and letting him sulk. Quinn’s delivery had been harsh, but nothing he’d said had been off base. Erik’s past was exactly why David didn’t want more than friendship between them, though it was looking more and more like even that was going to be impossible.

  “That was a little rough.”

  Quinn winked at him. “Ain’t nothin’ that boy didn’t need to hear. Did Mel tell you I got myself an e-mail address? She’s been in touch real regular.”

  David groaned and leaned forward, resting his head in his hands. Of course his sister was involved in this.

  “She has a bee in her bonnet for the two of you to get together, but that ain’t happenin’ till that one gets his head on right. I reckon she knows what she’s doin’. He hits the back rooms here, but he keeps his nose clean. No fights, no drinkin’. Always pays his tab and treats the bar staff real well. Maybe she’s right, maybe he’s lookin’ for a change. Till you’re real sure of that, Davey, be careful.”

  “He’s not Kevin. Erik’s a good guy.”

  “Reckon there was a time you’da said that about Kevin.”

  David took a long swallow of his beer, letting it wet his dry throat. Red’s had been his refuge after he’d caught Kevin cheating, and David had spent many a night bellied up to the same bar he was at now, getting served Quinn’s special brand of counseling along with his beers.

  “Yeah. But that was on Kevin, not on me. Erik isn’t like that. He doesn’t try to make people think he’s someone he’s not.”

  “That still don’t mean he’s the right someone for you.”

  “I know.”

  Quinn gave him a long, appraising look. “You don’t know shit. Go on and drive him home. I apologize. I ain’t had no right to tear into him like that, but someone had to.”

  “He’s the one you need to apologize to, not me. And I don’t think he’d want to be in a car with me right now. I said some things I shouldn’t have because I let him get under my skin.

  “Besides, he has the keys. There’s no way he didn’t leave after that. I told him I could call Danny to come get me.”

  “Just like old times,” Quinn said with a headshake.

  “No, not like old times. I was in a bad place, Quinn. I’m not there anymore. And as much as I’d like to say I got there by myself, at least some of it is down to Erik. I haven’t connected with anyone like that since Kevin. I know I shouldn’t start anything with him that he’s not willing to see through, but I know I’m ready to start looking.”

  “Davey, you ain’t lookin’ anywhere but at that man, and he’s lookin’ right back at you.”

  “Not after tonight he’s not.” David finished his beer with one last swig. “I should call Danny.”

  “No need. Though since you’re the only one who had a drink tonight, maybe I should be the one to drive.”

  David spun around, his cheeks heating when he saw Erik standing there. David’s keys were dangling from his finger.

  “I came back to give these to you and catch a cab home, but I think maybe we have some more talking to do.”

  “How long have you been standing there?”

  “Long enough to know that Mel threw me under the bus, and I need to find some fucker named Kevin to beat the shit out of.”

  David fought a smile. “No need. I broke his nose.”

  “Broke a stool, too,” Quinn said. “Didn’t rile me none. Worth a stool to see the look on that asshole’s face when Davey clipped him one good. Not that I condone fightin’ in my bar.”

  “He makes special exceptions for cheaters.”

  “Shit, that’s half my clientele. I only let it go ’cause it was Davey.”

  From the dirty look Quinn shot him, David figured that soft spot didn’t extend to eye rolling.

  “You were just happy to have a reason to kick Kevin out for good.”

  “True. Never did like that asshole.” Quinn put the glass he’d been drying on the bar and pointed at Erik with the wet rag. “This one might be a keeper, though.”

  “And with that, I’ve reached my humiliation quota for the night.” David slid the empty beer glass across to Quinn. “Put it on my tab.”

  He took the keys out of Erik’s hand, palming them as he stood up. “Ready?”

  “Frankly, I’m in favor of a little more humiliation, but you’re the one with the wheels.”

  “You drive safe, Davey. If you two get to yellin’, pull off. Don’t do anyone no good to drive with your mad on.”

  Erik smothered a laugh with his hand. “Sorry, sorry. My brain goes to the gutter at the worst possible times.”

  David was impressed Erik managed to keep quiet until they were buckled into his car.

  “So you and Quinn are buds, eh?”

  “Something like that. He and my grandpa served on the Rives Junction volunteer fire department together for a while and they came through some pretty rough situations together. When I came out to my family, the first thing my grandpa did was take me for a drink at Red’s.”

  “Wow, you waited till you were twenty-one to come out?”

  David laughed. “No. I was seventeen, and Quinn had a conniption fit about me being in the bar, but once he was satisfied the excise police weren’t going to be busting down his door, he gave me a ginger ale and explained the ins and outs of gay sex.”

  “So basically he’s your gay Yoda.”

  “Never, ever say that to Quinn. In fact, never say that to me again, either.”

  “The Force is strong with you, young Padawan. I see great gay things in your future.”

  The car swerved slightly as David took his eyes off the road to swipe at Erik.

  “Hey, remember what Quinn said. Pay attention you must. Distracted while driving do not be.”

  David groaned. “That’s terrible.”

  “You like it.” Erik paused, his voice going serious. “You like me.”

  David wasn’t sure how to respond. He did like Erik; that much was obvious. But he couldn’t be Erik’s one-night stand.

  “I used to see you at Red’s a lot. Different guy every time, always having a good time. I’m not that guy, Erik.”

  The road seemed unusually loud as Erik mulled that over silently. David focused on the path his headlights cut through the darkness in front of them, glad to have something to do that kept him from looking over at Erik.

  “You’re Chinese takeout with your family and Netflix movies.”

  “Something like that, yeah.”

  “I was going through a lot of shit back then, David. Mom had just gotten diagnosed. The doctors didn’t know how fast it was going to progress, and I had to deal with all that in addition to moving my stuff all the way across the country and breaking leases and other commitments.”

  “No, I know. And I don’t fault you for it, Erik, I don’t. But you were like that even before you moved back. I can’t date that guy, Erik. I already did, and I ended up burned.”

  Erik blew out a breath. “I had a lot of fun being that guy all through college. You have to understand, David, I never even had my first kiss before I went away to New York. I’m what you call a late bloomer.”

  “What? No. Everyone loved you. You had a million friends.”

  “I did. And all of them saw me as the goofy class clown. When I went to NYU, I got a chance to reinvent myself. No one there knew me as the funny guy who never took anything seriously. I started dating, and I found I was really good at those first and second dates, but after that things kind of fell apart. So after a while, I stopped trying to get anything more.”

  “And when you came back to Rives Junction? Where were all your friends?”

  It was a bald question, but it had been plaguing David for weeks. Erik was still cheerful and friendly, but David never saw him out around town grabbing coffee or having dinner with friends. He was always alone.

  “Some moved away and didn’t come back after college. The rest of them didn’t find the new Erik that much fun to hang out with. I’m not the class clown anymore.”

  “You’re gorgeous and funny, and you put everyone you talk to at ease. I’ve never seen Quinn let someone off the hook as easily as he did you earlier tonight.”

  Erik put a hand on the wheel, tapping it slightly. “Can we pull off for a minute? If you’re going to sing my praises, I’d rather be able to see your face. Besides, I feel a big ‘but’ coming on.”

  David nudged his hand off. “But I’m Netflix on the couch, and you’re glitter dancing at a club. I tried to date someone like you once. It didn’t work. We’re too different.”

  “Who, this Kevin character? He doesn’t sound anything like me. He sounds like a super douche.”

  David felt a breeze from Erik’s frenetic hand gestures, which were uncomfortably close to his face. “I’m not saying you’re a bad guy. I’m just saying that we’re incompatible, no matter how much Mel and Quinn want to believe differently.”

  Gravel crunched under the tires as David pulled into the long driveway that led up to the Johnson farmhouse. The windows in the small over-the-barn apartment were dark, like the windows at his townhouse across town would be.

  “I’m going to tell you something, and you’re not going to respond, okay? We don’t share any shifts this weekend because I pissed Mel off and she has me working with Santa all weekend. And then I won’t be working again till Friday because it’s finals week at the high school, so I’m swamped with grading in the evenings. So you’ll have plenty of time to mull this over. And if after that week you’re still not into this, then I promise I’ll back off, all right?”

  David turned the ignition off and turned in his seat to face Erik. It was pitch black so far out into the country, but Mrs. Johnson was a firm believer in Christmas spirit, so the house and barn were covered in twinkling colored lights. The glow they cast was more than enough to be able to make out Erik’s features.

  “Okay.”

  “I’ve had a pretty massive crush on you since high school. You were the big baseball stud, and I was the gawky freshman who came to all the games just to drool over you. I figured you didn’t know me from Adam, but one night you showed up to take a buddy of mine home from a party because he was wasted, and you saw me in the corner, upset. Instead of making fun of me, you gave me a ride home.”

  Erik trailed his index finger across the dash, rubbing it together with his thumb when it accumulated a layer of dust.

  “So that was the first time you did something kind for me. The second was making sure that my mom had plenty of flowers in her room at the nursing home. And I know you visit her sometimes. The nurses talk.” Erik’s voice broke. “I appreciate that.

  “The third time was inviting me to Thanksgiving dinner. I looked around that table, and I was happy, David, maybe for the first time in years. It’s stupid, but sitting there watching you fight with Danny over the last egg roll and seeing you tease Mel about how she uses chopsticks made me feel at home.

  “So basically, what I’m saying is that I know you’re a Netflix on the couch guy. And that’s exactly what I want. When guys started paying attention to me in college, it was the polar opposite of high school. Suddenly I wasn’t just the funny guy, I was the popular guy. It was so flattering that I think I let myself think it was what I needed. But it wasn’t. None of those guys gave me a second thought when I disappeared to come back and be with Mom. But you do, even though you don’t have any reason to. You’re that guy, David. And that’s what I want.”

  David’s cheeks were hot, and he fought the instinct to bring his palms up to cool them. Erik’s confession knocked him for a loop, and he had no idea what to say or what to think.

  “Like I said, it’ll be easy for you to avoid me till next week. I know it takes you some time to process, so do that. I’ll see you Friday at the shop.”

  David watched Erik disappear into a side door. A light came on upstairs moments later. Before he could think better of it, he hopped out of the car and rooted through the sparse snow to pick up a handful of gravel to chuck at the window. Erik opened a window and poked his head out.

  “I forgot to say happy birthday!”

  It was hard to see in the dark, even with the light behind Erik, but David could tell he was smiling.

  “Go home before Mrs. Johnson thinks you have inappropriate intentions toward her innocent young tenant.”

  David hesitated for a split second before he opened his hands wide and shrugged. “I do!”

  He felt like a ton of bricks had lifted off his chest at the confession. He didn’t need a week to think things over. David was tired of fighting himself over his attraction to Erik. Maybe getting involved with him was a mistake, but life was about making mistakes, wasn’t it? He couldn’t go the rest of his life guarding his heart just because it had been broken once.

  Erik was still staring at him in surprise, so David repeated himself, louder this time. “I do!”

  “You’re a nut! You’re seriously going to do this now?”

  David’s cheeks hurt from the stretch of his grin. “Why wait?”

  “Because it’s nearly midnight and my landlady is watching you from the porch?”

  David turned and waved apologetically at Mrs. Johnson, who had stepped outside wrapped in a robe.

  “Sorry, Mrs. Johnson!”

  “You boys shouldn’t be out here yelling so late,” she chastised, and David grimaced guiltily at the thought that he’d woken her. “Come on in. I have a birthday cake for you, Erik. Red velvet.”

  “My favorite,” Erik said, holding a hand over his heart. David snorted, but Erik had already disappeared.

  “We’re sorry for waking you, Mrs. Johnson.”

  She waved David’s concern off. “Son, the slightest thing wakes me anymore. I was up, anyway. A new Danielle Steele came out this week and I couldn’t put it down. Can’t stop in the middle of a racy scene.”

  David tried to hide his recoil at that, but from the way Mrs. Johnson’s lips twitched, he figured he hadn’t been entirely successful. When Erik joined him in the driveway, he shook off his discomfort and held his arm out. Erik linked elbows with him and stepped in close as they walked the short distance to the house.

  “So this is happening? Just like that?”

  David hip checked him lightly. “No point fighting the inevitable.”

  “Happy birthday to me,” Erik murmured when they entered the kitchen, too low for Mrs. Johnson to hear. She’d already pulled out his birthday cake, complete with an unlit candle on top.

  “You boys take this on over to the barn. I don’t much care for sweets, and it’s too late for me to be eating cake anyway.”

  “We can’t take the whole cake!”

  She put it in Erik’s hands regardless of his protest. “You go enjoy what’s left of your birthday. I’m sure David can help you with that.”

  David didn’t know if she meant he could help Erik eat the cake or help him have an enjoyable birthday, but his face flushed hotly at the implication. From the knowing smirk she gave him, he doubted he was misunderstanding her.

  “Don’t worry about making noise when you leave, David. I’ll still be up with my book. It’s a real page-turner.”

  Now he was sure she was poking fun at him.

  “Thanks, Mrs. Johnson,” Erik said. He handed the cake to David and leaned in to press a kiss against her cheek. “Don’t stay up too late. We’re still on for baking Christmas cookies for the nursing home Sunday afternoon after I get off work?”

  “I’ll be ready.” She patted his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “You let me know if you ever need me to get a spare key for the apartment for him, Erik. I have another one around here somewhere. It’ll save you the five dollars to get it copied.”

  David choked on air, bringing a hand up to his throat to try to alleviate the sudden tightness. Even Erik seemed embarrassed by that as he ducked his head and muttered something David couldn’t catch.

  “I’ll lock up behind you. Good night, boys.”

  David shifted the cake so he was holding it more securely and made his way down the porch steps, pausing at the bottom so Erik could catch up.

  “She’s reading some sex book, just so you know.”

  Erik shuddered. “Oh, I know. Her book club met here last week, and I had the misfortune of stopping by to pay my rent while they were debating whether or not the bondage scenes in that book everyone’s talking about were accurate or not.”

  He added a lot of details David was sure he’d have been happier not knowing as they made their way up the stairs and into the small over-the-barn apartment Erik called home. The last time David had seen the space, it had been empty, and it was a lot more cramped with Erik’s furniture in it. There was hardly any room at all, and David couldn’t imagine someone as fidgety as Erik being happy living in such close quarters. It was no wonder he often volunteered for the outdoor shifts around the farm.

 

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