The Art of Zen, page 11
“Where did you go?” She laughed lightly at his absentmindedness. It wasn’t like him to stare off into space the way he did. “Restaurant on your mind?”
“Uh, yeah,” he mumbled.
Ainsley leaned forward to select a slice of prosciutto and mozzarella from the tray. She handed the plate to Spencer, then filled their wineglasses. “Cheers,” she said softly and clicked her glass to his. When Spencer took a drink of his wine but remained quiet, she decided to bring up a subject that was always heavy on her mind, yet she knew it was sensitive to Spencer. “I know how busy you are, but Mother and I were talking the other day about a spring party at their house in the Hamptons. You’ll be able to breathe by then and until then we can reconnect and spend time together and hopefully by spring you’ll be ready.”
Spencer set aside his plate and took another drink of wine. He knew she was trying to win him over with having his favorite pre-dinner snacks and his preferred cabernet. The fact that she was dressed up and as polished as ever wasn’t lost on him, either. Now she was sitting next to him talking about a party in the Hamptons without a care in the world. He knew she had something up her sleeve, especially if it involved Priscilla. He hesitated to ask, but he did anyway. “Ready for what?”
“Come on, Spencer,” Ainsley said softly. She set her wine down and placed her hand on his knee. “Let’s stop skirting around this and just do it. It’s the perfect time for our engagement party.”
Spencer took a deep, controlled breath and removed her hand from his knee. “Well, I guess I’m glad you brought that up.”
“You are?” Ainsley asked with hope.
“Yes. It gives me the opening for what I want to talk to you about.” He set his wineglass next to hers on the table. “There isn’t going to be any engagement.”
“Spencer,” Ainsley started, then clamped her mouth shut when she saw the irritation in his eyes.
“This has gone on long enough and we’re not getting anywhere.”
“I want to get somewhere with you. You know how I feel about marriage.”
“All too well,” he stated. “It’s all you ever talk to me about. Ainsley, if I wanted to be married, I would be.”
“We can move in together and start that way. Your place is big enough for both of us until we find a place of our own.”
Spencer held his hand up to cease her talking. “You’re not listening to me. You don’t listen or hear what I’m trying to tell you.”
“Well, then,” Ainsley snapped. “What exactly is it you’re trying to tell me?” She sat back and crossed her arms obstinately.
“We’re through,” he said firmly.
“What?” she whispered. Slowly, she uncrossed her arms and sat up straight. Her eyes were like ice as they bored into his. “You’re breaking up with me?” she seethed.
“Yes,” Spencer replied with a nod and stood up. “No more on again off again, this is for good.”
“No!” Ainsley yelled as she stood up and faced him. “I don’t accept this.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Spencer asked with a cynical laugh. “Because you don’t accept it, you think you can force me to stay in this relationship? Grow up, Ainsley. This has been a long time coming, and you know it.”
“No, the engagement has been a long time coming-”
“There was never going to be any engagement,” he interjected. “You’re always pushing and I’ve never made it any secret that we were not going to get engaged.”
“Is this about oral sex?” she demanded.
“Oh, my God!” Spencer shook his head in disbelief. “Do you think I’d break things off over something like that?”
“I don’t know,” she sneered. “You pout any time I won’t give you a blowjob. If you need one so badly, fine, I’ll do it.” She reached for his belt and began to unfasten it.
Spencer gripped her wrist to stop her, then tried to remove her hand from his waist. “Stop that. Ainsley, stop!” He was finally able to loosen her grip, which caused her to stumble back a step. “I was hoping you would handle this maturely, but I guess that was hoping for too much.”
“I wasted five years of my life on you!” she screeched.
“I never led you on,” Spencer said calmly.
He hadn’t. She couldn’t argue with that, but she stuck with their relationship because she knew how good they could be together, she just hadn’t figured out how to make him see that. Ainsley’s face was red with anger as she tossed back her hair with a shake of her head. “You’re fucking her, aren’t you? This is about Tia, isn’t it? I knew it! I knew that little bitch had her sights set on you!”
“What?” Spencer asked, his face a mask of confusion. “Tia has nothing to do with this and no, I’m not sleeping with her!”
“If I find out you are,” she warned. “And if I ever see that short, scrawny, waif on your arm, I’ll-”
“You’ll what?” Spencer challenged. “I’m free to be with anyone I want, don’t you threaten me, or her.”
“Why are you protecting her?” she demanded.
“Because you just threatened to do something to her if you see her with me. Live your life, Ainsley, and I’ll live mine. If someone comes into my life that’s none of your business. And when someone comes into yours-”
“You’ll be insanely jealous,” Ainsley interrupted.
“No.” Spencer shook his head. “I’ll wish him good luck, or tell him to run.” He turned to leave, then stopped when Ainsley’s full wineglass hit the wall in front of him and shattered to the floor. His shoes were speckled with broken glass and droplets of wine. “Very nice,” he muttered. He swiped at the lapel of his jacket when he noticed drops of wine there, too.
“Spencer Chadwick, you’re going to wish you never met me,” Ainsley declared.
Spencer opened the door and stepped over the threshold and the mess on the floor. He spared her one glance before he walked away. “I already do.”
Friday Tia overslept. She couldn’t help it. Inspiration hit her at crazy hours and when it came to her so clearly, she had to work. She worked until three o’clock in the morning, fell into bed at four, and surfaced for the day after noon.
“Oh, shit!” she exclaimed when she sat up in bed and glanced at her clock. She intended to sleep for a few hours and get to the restaurant first thing to get some work done. Now that she had slept through her alarm, she knew she would be greeted by an irritated Spencer.
With no time for a shower, Tia jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. A few spritzes of dry shampoo hit her roots. She let that set for a few minutes while she brushed her teeth and washed her face. Her fingers were quick and swift as she rubbed the powder into her scalp and piled her hair into a messy bun on the top of her head. A full face of makeup would be skipped for the day, but Tia allowed herself an extra minute to apply mascara. There was nothing she could do about the paint smudges on her arms or the residue under her nails. Normally, she showered after she worked because she didn’t like to bring a mess to her bedroom. On the rare times she worked into the wee hours of the morning, she couldn’t care less about the mess on her body or her bed. A fresh set of sheets when she got home was in order.
She hurriedly dressed in loose jeans and kept her t-shirt on from the previous day. It was already spattered with paint, no need to dirty another one. Tia slid into her sneakers, grabbed a granola bar out of the kitchen cupboard, and ran out the door. She hoped there was some coffee available at the restaurant. Caffeine would be much needed to keep her productive today.
Spencer ate lunch with a scowl on his face. Where the hell was Tia? If she were an employee of his, he’d have called her repeatedly until he reached her. Hell, he snorted. If she were an employee of his, he’d probably fire her for leaving yesterday and not showing up today. He finished his club sandwich and shoved away from the table, perfectly aware that Carlos and Mario had kept their distance from him this morning due to his surliness. He showed up irritated because of his confrontation with Ainsley the previous evening. He knew Ainsley would be disagreeable with the breakup, but her childish behavior, and the glass she threw against the wall, put him in a bad mood last night that carried over into today.
As he passed the front door on the way to his office, he paused briefly and considered locking it just in case Tia decided to show up. Then she would have to knock to get in. That would teach her a lesson.
“Knock it off,” he muttered to himself. “Even if she worked for you for minimum wage you wouldn’t fire her. You like her too much.” His head jerked back in shock. “Where did that come from?” But it was true. He looked forward to seeing Tia every day and lately couldn’t get her off of his mind. She was funny, she was beautiful, she was intelligent. He even thought the mess she left behind after a day of creating was cute in its own way. Like her mark to let people know she had been there. With a heavy sigh, he nixed the idea of locking her out and turned away from the door. He turned back when he heard it open and expected to see Tia come in. Instead, he saw an angry Ainsley storm into his building.
“This isn’t over,” Ainsley insisted as she approached Spencer.
“Yes, it is,” he said firmly. “I don’t have time for one of your tantrums. Go run to your mother, she’ll take you to Tiffany and make it all better.”
“Dammit, Spencer!” Ainsley yelled. “You don’t want to do this. I’m not going to throw this away!” She set her Louis Vuitton bag on a nearby table and faced him. First thing this morning, Ainsley decided she wasn’t going to accept this situation. She made an appointment for a blowout so her hair was perfectly done. She chose her outfit carefully, a modest black skirt with a white silk blouse. Since Spencer always complimented her legs, she highlighted them in new Christian Louboutin stilettos. “Let’s talk.”
“We talked last night, and I’m busy,” Spencer stated. He turned and walked away from her, well aware that she followed him because he heard the click of her heels behind him.
“Spencer!” Ainsley cried.
“Ainsley, enough!” His volume matched hers. “Anger isn’t going to get me to come around. Accept what I said and move on!”
Ainsley tried, she really tried. For the next twenty minutes, she screamed, she cried, she even stomped her foot at one point, but Spencer wouldn’t come around. Any time they were off, they were always on again, she refused to believe that wouldn’t be the case. Her shoulders jolted when Spencer finally had enough.
“Dammit, Ainsley!” he stormed. “I said enough, now get out of my office. Leave!”
“Fine!” She turned on her heel and yanked open his door. “I’ll show you!” she screeched and slammed the door behind her.
Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Leave it up to Ainsley to take a parting shot that left him curious. “She’ll show me. What the hell does that mean?” He stood up from his desk and walked into the restaurant, but didn’t see Ainsley. Instead, he saw Tia rush through the front door. He couldn’t help it if he tried. His anger got the best of him. He jerked his head to the side with a demand for Tia. “In my office.”
“Excuse me?” Tia asked with a raised brow. “I know I’m late. No need to get testy with me.”
“I want to talk to you.”
“Fine,” she huffed and followed him down the hall. His stride was long in his ire, so she made hers slow as she walked behind him. He could be as angry as he wanted to be, she wasn’t going to let him speak to her like she was an employee.
He settled at his desk as Tia plopped into the chair facing him. Her body language told him she didn’t care what he had to say. He didn’t care whether or not she wanted to hear it, he had to say it and he didn’t mince words. “I realize I’m not your boss,” he began.
“Good,” Tia responded. “Then save yourself the lecture because I don’t want to hear it.”
“Well, I have to say it!” Spencer snapped. “I have a business to run and I need to wrap certain things up. One of those things is the mural. You are close to finishing, I need it finished.”
“Refer to your contract,” Tia said in a haughty tone. “You’ll see I’m still on schedule and you’re wasting my time with this little meeting.”
“I’m wasting your time?” he asked, his voice incredulous. “You’re the one who took a personal day yesterday-”
“Yeah,” she interrupted. “Because the two Barbie dolls thought they could watch me work! If you wanted me here so badly, maybe you should have stepped in.”
“Maybe I would have if you would have given me two minutes to do something about it, instead of storming off!”
“I didn’t storm off!” Tia cried. She took a deep breath and lowered her voice back to normal. “I walked out of here and took the day to clear my head.”
“What’s your excuse today?” he demanded.
“Not that I need one,” she seethed. “But I worked very late into the night and I didn’t even go to bed until four o’clock this morning.”
He took in her appearance of the paint smeared shirt she wore, and the various swipes of color on her forearms, her neck, and under her fingernails but it didn’t calm him down any. “Look-”
Tia held up a hand to stop him. “Let me save you the trouble and all the corporate jargon you’re going to throw at me. Punctuality, I get it. Work smarter, not harder. Blah, blah, blah. Save it, Spencer. I don’t need to hear it.”
“What you need to hear-” he began, then stopped when his phone shrilled into the room. “Hang on, I need to take this.”
Tia resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Irritated as she was by his reaction to her arrival, she was fascinated with the scowl on his face. When she got bored with his terse conversation with who she believed to be a vendor, she reached into her bag and grabbed her sketchpad.
Spencer saw her open the pad and reach for a pencil on his desk. He covered the mouthpiece of the phone and spoke softly to her. “You better not be drawing me.”
“You better not look, then,” Tia suggested.
“Dammit, Tia,” he began, then snapped his mouth shut when she sliced her hand in the air to silence him. Spencer returned to his call and wrapped it up as quickly as he could. He hung up the phone and tried to get Tia’s attention. “Please put that down.”
“I can talk and work, go ahead with your lecture.” She spared him a glance. “Is this going to take long? I have work to do.”
“It’s-” he started, then stopped when his phone rang once more. “I have to take this.”
“Then why am I in here?” She gave in and rolled her eyes when he ignored her and took his phone call. She shrugged one shoulder and continued to draw him.
“Ok,” Spencer said when he hung up the phone. “I’m not expecting any more calls, so we won’t be interrupted anymore.”
“Awesome,” Tia replied. Her pencil stroked smoothly over the paper as she worked on his jawline.
“Tia, put that down,” he insisted.
“I’m not a child, please don’t speak to me like one.”
“Then stop acting like one. Would you please look at me and at least pretend to listen to me?”
“I can pretend just as easily looking at my work,” she answered.
Spencer couldn’t explain it. Her blasé attitude toward him fanned the flames of his anger brought on by Ainsley. He wished he hadn’t done it, and would give everything to take back his actions, but he reacted. He stood up and yanked the sketchpad out of Tia’s hand, ripping the page in the process. He knew immediately he shouldn’t have done it.
Tia let out a sharp gasp as Spencer took her sketchpad. An even louder one followed as the tear of the page resounded off the walls like a grenade. “Oh, my God! What did you do?”
Spencer felt like a heel. “Tia, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He stopped speaking when he saw the pain in her eyes.
“You ruined it,” she whispered. Her chin trembled as she watched the torn page in Spencer’s hand float to his desk.
“Tia...” He was at a loss for words. All he wanted was her attention, he never meant to destroy her work, or make her cry.
Tears pooled in her eyes. A large one trickled down her cheek, followed quickly by another. “You ruined my work,” she breathed. “Nobody touches my work.” She raised her gaze to his as her shoulders began to tremble with sadness and anger. “I don’t understand your work, but I’d never rip it out of your hands. How would you like it if I walked in here and ruined your precious spreadsheets?”
“I wouldn’t like it,” Spencer answered. “I just wanted to get your attention.”
“Well, you have it,” she sobbed. “I can’t apologize for the work that has to come out of me, or how, but you didn’t have to do that.”
“Tia, I’m sorry,” he said sincerely.
“You ruined it,” she repeated. Her hands shook as she reached for the half of the paper on his desk. She held the jagged edges together, then quickly closed her sketchpad and shoved it in her bag. Little as she was, she stood tall and faced him. With all the anger brewing inside her, she leaned forward and swept her arm across his desk, sending papers and file folders to the floor in a heap. Without another word, she stomped out of his office and slammed the door behind her.
Spencer sat down heavily in his chair. That was the second woman who had left his office angry at him. He didn’t mean to cross a boundary with her. He would never intentionally ruin her work. The pain in her eyes made him sick to his stomach. His shoulders slumped in defeat as he looked at the mess and hunched down to clean it up. “I guess I deserved that.”
Tia steamed with every step she took. Tears streamed hot and fast down her face. As she reached the door to leave, she heard a crash in the kitchen. Curiosity not only got the best of her, but she felt the need to unload about Spencer to Mario or Carlos. Let him come in and hear her sound off on what she thought of him. He deserved that along with the mess she created with his desk.
She was vaguely aware of the Louis Vuitton handbag on the table she breezed by, as her hands slapped against the swinging door and pushed it open. “I swear to God!” she fumed, only to stop short at the sight that greeted her.
