Since We Last Met, page 24
‘Oh, the tangled webs.’
‘I never thought she would—Man, this must sound unhinged.’
‘No more than anything else about our situation,’ Carmen said, taking a deep breath. ‘Look, neither of us could ever have thought a lot of things that have happened would happen. No judgement here.’ In a perverse way, it felt like a balancing of the ledger of secrets and omissions.
‘True.’ He glanced down the path. His mother’s shadowy figure was just discernible, almost at the beach. ‘Okay,’ he said, rubbing his hands down his quads, ‘here I go. Time to break the news.’
‘Will you tell her everything?’ Would discovering she had a granddaughter soften or sharpen the blow?
‘No point in anything less than the whole truth.’ He placed a hand on Carmen’s upper arm. ‘Thank you for playing along just now.’
‘Sure you don’t want me to come? It might be easier coming from both of us. She’ll have a lot of questions.’
‘Damn, you are great. But no. Thank you. This needs to be her and me, even if I do have to spoil her vacation before it even starts. I can’t believe she flew here.’ He screwed up his face. ‘No, actually, I can. In fact, I should have known. I came so close to telling her the truth the last time I saw her, at Christmas. I opened my mouth and … I couldn’t.’
‘It’s hard to pick the perfect moment for these things. But it gets much easier when the truth is out. Take it from me.’
He stepped closer, smiling and shaking his head as if in wonder of Carmen. It was disconcerting, the way he did that. Carmen was well short of wondrous.
‘Is she out of sight?’
Carmen checked. ‘Yes.’
‘I appreciate you being so cool about this. But then you are cool.’ He cupped her jaw and kissed her, and of course she melted. No one had ever called her cool before. Cold, yes, but never cool. He released her, though she could sense his reluctance. This was all getting just so cosy. Every time he kissed her these days it felt like her heart was outgrowing her ribcage.
He looked at her for a long few seconds, as if he was memorising her face for a test, then jogged away.
So she was his fantasy fiancée? And yes, it was all a ploy but it was also reassuring that not only had he not immediately forgotten their night together, but it’d remained on his mind ever since. He’d even been looking at her photo for five years, if not by choice. So much for a no-strings fling. This one had developed trans-Pacific undersea cables.
Maybe an hour later there was a quiet knock on the door of Carmen’s apartment. She hurriedly pulled her robe over her satin slip. It was probably Lena, come to get the gossip.
But when she slid back the door, it wasn’t Lena standing there but Bruno. At her apartment. Metres from where both Rosa and Mika were sleeping.
‘Hey,’ he whispered, ‘can we talk, super quick?’
‘Sure,’ she said, darting a look through the internal doorway into her mother’s apartment. It remained dark and silent. She stepped out onto the veranda and slid the glass door closed. ‘Let’s sit at the picnic table, so we don’t wake anyone.’ She gestured to the moonlit lawn that rolled down to the cliffs. ‘How did you know where my apartment was?’ she said as they stepped onto the grass.
‘Cody gave me directions. He’s at the bar. He’s offered to drive me back to base.’
‘Does he seem okay?’
‘He’s hanging with Lena and some others. Making a joke of the whole night. Not mentioning the method or circumstances of his extraction.’
‘Of course.’ She sat on the bench, facing the silvery ocean. She’d make sure to check on him tomorrow. He flew search and rescue missions and had recovered seriously decomposed bodies, but she’d never seen him this shaken. And it annoyed the crap out of her that he was blaming himself.
‘Lena says we owe her one, by the way. She said she’ll add it to your tab.’ Bruno sat heavily beside Carmen, inhaling audibly through his teeth. ‘So, ah, I couldn’t tell Mom. I couldn’t do it. I swear I’ve never seen her this happy. She’s all bouncy and giggly. I almost wanted to ask if she’s on medication. I couldn’t ruin that for her. I tried—I started to tell her like three times but each time I looked at her expression and—’ He wiped a palm down his face, groaning. ‘I suck.’
‘I’m not one to judge anyone for withholding information.’
‘I don’t know what’s gonna break her heart more: bursting the bubble of my fake engagement or finding out I’ve lied to her for so long. She’s been through so much, you know? I just couldn’t … I mean, I know I’m gonna have to eventually but … Man, I hate lying.’
‘Me too. It eats me up from the inside.’
‘That’s exactly how it feels. Carmen,’ he said, shuffling to face her, ‘she’s only staying tonight and tomorrow night before heading down to Sydney for a week. Luckily, with the resort so heavily booked, she couldn’t stay longer. I hate to ask you this, but could you play along for just a little longer? I’ll have to keep her away from the pavilion until I get a chance to tell her everything, because she tends to strike up conversations with random people. Which I’ll do when she’s recovered from her jetlag,’ he added emphatically, as if that particular justification for his ongoing deception had just occurred to him. Carmen was very familiar with those kinds of internal negotiations.
‘Good plan.’ That would not be an easy conversation. Not only would he have to break the news to his mother that he and Carmen weren’t a couple, he’d also have to tell her they had a daughter. The delay would give Carmen a little more time to tell Rosa and (eek!) Nan who Bruno really was, which would iron out the very last of the deceptions. And ironing was always cathartic. ‘I’ll warn the family first thing tomorrow not to give the game away. And I’ll get a room-service breakfast delivered to your mum.’
Bruno reached out and threaded his fingers through hers, which sent a feeling of tingly warmth rolling up her arm. ‘I can’t believe you’re being so understanding when you have every right to freak out on me.’
‘I really don’t have that right. It’s seriously the least I can do, all things considered.’
‘You are amazing, you know that?’ He stared into her eyes, his own dark under the moonlight. ‘I keep finding more and more about you to like. You were incredible tonight. Rescued Cody. Rescued me.’ He pulled her hand towards him, brought it up to his mouth and kissed the palm, which made her inhale deeply. Around him, breathing became an extreme sport. ‘I’m sure I can beg a day off tomorrow. I’ll borrow the G-Wagon first—they’re going to the mainland so they won’t need it—and I’ll wait outside Mom’s apartment for her to wake up. And then I’ll convince her to go sightseeing with me—off the island—and find the right moment to tell her.’
‘I can book you on Luka’s eco-experience snorkelling tour? He does half and full days.’
‘Yeah, let’s plan for that,’ he said, standing and pulling her up. ‘I’ll come and find you in the morning.’
They walked silently back to the terraced apartments. Outside her door, Carmen paused, her hand still in his. How nice would it be to invite him in and go to bed together, even if just to cuddle up and sleep. But it wouldn’t be cool for Mika to find out about her father’s existence by discovering him in her mother’s bed. ‘I’d invite you in, but—’ She jerked her head to the door. ‘You know.’
‘Oh, sure, no problem,’ he said, the muscles around his eyes contracting for a second.
He slipped his fingers under the belt of her robe, coaxed her close and kissed her, which generated a pleasant sting in her chest. She loved that their kisses weren’t only a precursor to sex anymore. Did people involved in no-strings flings—seeing as they’d levelled up from one-night stand—kiss like this?
‘Thanks again for being so cool about this.’
‘Thanks for coming on the mercy mission tonight.’
‘As I say, I like to be useful.’ He stepped back, shoving his hands in his trouser pockets. ‘Well, that was an action-packed evening. Family, huh?’
‘Who’d have them?’
He studied her face for a good long time with that expression of wonder, then turned and walked back down the veranda towards the path. Despite the craziness, she felt more relaxed than she had all week. At some point tonight, she realised, she’d dropped the Wild Carmen act.
It was a shame that most of the bonding between them was over secrets and lies. But knowing that he was that torn up about the idea of breaking his mother’s heart? She’d add that to her mental list of all the many things she liked about him.
27
For Carmen, the good thing about not being able to sleep longer than half-hour bursts was that it was impossible to oversleep. The next day, as Lena and Mika breakfasted on the deck before kids’ club, Carmen nipped down the jetty to where Luka was loading the boat. It wasn’t long after dawn but already more people were up and about on the beach and in the pavilion and even the pool than there usually were at midday. Rosa’s yoga class was so full she’d abandoned the wooden platform and moved everyone onto the beach. With the tide coming in, the vinyasa flow was fast becoming a vinyasa sprint.
‘What’s the latest in the Bruno Chronicles?’ Luka said, slipping a wetsuit onto a hanger.
‘Uh,’ Carmen said, stepping onto the boat, ‘his mother arrived last night?’
‘What?’
‘She flew in from the States to visit him. Such a long story.’
‘Getting longer by the minute. I obviously went to bed too early. Missed a crucial episode. Do you do recaps?’
‘Do you have room for them on your tour today—Bruno and his mum?’
He pulled his phone from his pocket and consulted the booking app. ‘Best I can do is take them for the morning and drop them back after lunch—we’re picking up three more people here then, making it already a full boat this afternoon. That any use to you?’
‘I’ll make it work, thanks. Oh, and word of warning? As things stand, his mother doesn’t know about Mika, and she thinks my name is Juliet and that Bruno and I have been together for five years and I’m his fiancée.’
Luka’s mouth dropped open.
‘Like I say,’ she added, ‘long story.’
Luka pushed aside the pile of wetsuits and sat. ‘Let me try to get all these secrets in order. So Bruno knows about Mika but we’re not allowed to discuss it with him because you guys are in denial about how that’s gonna work. Rosa and Nan don’t know about Bruno being Mika’s dad. And none of us is supposed to know that you’re screwing the guy all over the island but we all do—except Rosa and Nan, by some miracle. And by the way, you’re gonna have to pay us all back big time for keeping a secret this huge from Nan. Several secrets. Coz when she finds out that we all knew—’
‘I’m well aware of the potential ramifications.’
‘You’re damn lucky she’s so distracted by her little marry-off-the-descendants gameshow. Let alone The Bachelorette: Senior Edition.’
‘Whatever you do, don’t suggest a gameshow to her,’ Carmen said, stepping back onto the pontoon.
‘You should put all this in one of your “Staff Update” memos. It’s hard to keep track of the subterfuge. It’s getting like Watergate around here.’
Carmen crossed her arms. ‘Oh, so now you want one of my memos? The same memos you’re always groaning about?’
‘You’re right,’ he said, standing and picking up another hanger. ‘One of your spreadsheets would be better. Put graphs in it too. Studies have shown that you’re the only person left in the twentieth century who hands out paper memos. Like, into actual hands.’
‘No one reads their emails around here.’
‘No one reads your emails because they’re way too long.’
‘Anyway, everything’s going to be resolved today. Tomorrow at the latest. It’s just hard to break news like this.’
‘You could write some memos?’ He looked out at the bay. ‘What’s the ferry doing here this early?’
‘Lena bribed the skipper into doing an extra run.’
‘To get people on or off? Anyone who’s come here for peace and quiet is going to be asking for a refund. And it’s not just paying guests—people are anchoring in every bay and coming ashore. It’s the Circular Quay of Tropical North Queensland.’
‘Short of rolling out barbed wire along the beaches, there’s not a lot we can do but try to cater for everyone. I think Lena’s bought up every toilet roll in the state.’ Carmen looked back at the pavilion, where the tables on the deck were already full. She’d had the bright idea yesterday of offering pre-ordered breakfast beach picnics as an alternative to dining in, and now the picnickers were going picnic-rug-to-yoga-mat with the yogis. ‘Have you seen Cody this morning?’
‘He’s fully booked today. He’ll be back for lunch.’ Luka raised his chin, assessing her. ‘Did something happen last night? Lena said he was acting weird. She asked if I knew why.’
‘Not my secret to tell.’
‘And which secret is that?’
‘You know the definition of the word “secret”, right?’ Carmen glanced along the beach and swore. Bruno’s mother was walking towards the pavilion, unchaperoned. And Lena and Mika were right there on the deck. Rosa was in a downward-facing dog, but that wouldn’t last long. ‘Shit. Gotta go.’
She ran down the jetty and along the beach, intercepting Stephanie, who hugged her. Carmen wasn’t sure if it was a hug that said I love that you’re the woman my son is going to marry or a hug that said Bruno’s told me everything and it’s all okay. Rosa flowed into a lunge, and Carmen backed out of the embrace.
‘I’m sorry,’ Stephanie said, ‘was that crossing the line? I didn’t think.’
‘No, no. It’s just—I’m not much of a hugger.’ Not with strangers. Her immediate family were big on hugs, but she was more of a taker than a giver. ‘Not that I mind. Come into the shade, it’s getting warm out here.’ It wasn’t, but the shade meant they were sheltered behind a palm tree and out of view of the deck and Rosa. ‘Where’s Bruno?’
Stephanie smiled indulgently. ‘He’s fast asleep on the day bed on my porch. I woke up and found him out there. Couldn’t bear to wake him. Kids are always adorable when they’re asleep, even at his age. Butter wouldn’t melt …’
‘I know what you mean,’ Carmen said, before remembering that they weren’t supposed to be bonding mother to mother. ‘Listen, I’ve arranged for a special breakfast to be delivered to your room—you absolutely won’t want to miss it. The room-service breakfasts are amazing. We didn’t think you’d be up this early.’ She touched Stephanie’s elbow, forcibly but politely turning her in the direction of the boardwalk that led through the gardens up to the villas.
‘Oh, I couldn’t sleep. I don’t want to miss a minute. So I’m confused—you’re a scientist and yet you work here with your family?’
‘It’s complicated,’ Carmen said as they fell into step together. A scientist? What kind of scientist? ‘You know how fluid jobs are these days.’
‘I see,’ Stephanie said, though it was obvious she didn’t. ‘Well, I’m just so grateful to have the chance to tell you to your face how much of a difference you’ve made to Bruno. He’s so much more relaxed these days. For years after his father died, it was like he channelled all his grief into worrying about me—was I happy, was I exercising, was I eating properly? And then into his job …’
‘He is always very concerned about you.’ Carmen could say that much for certain.
‘Too concerned, I suspect. I really think he never stopped to process his own grief over his father so he kinda got obsessed with mine. I’ve tried to bring it up, of course, but he shuts me down. For so long I thought he was cutting himself off from the world so he wouldn’t have to ever have someone else to grieve for. So I was just delighted when he met you. He was obviously smitten, right from the start. Having you in his life has really helped him to move on, to see a future that doesn’t just involve the air force. Finally. And he’s less paranoid about me these days,’ she continued. ‘Gosh, and I shouldn’t be gushing all this out to you—I’m sure you already know it all, but I just wanted to thank you.’
‘It’s so interesting to hear about Bruno’s experiences from your perspective,’ Carmen said, feeling like a double agent. ‘Such a big loss, at such a vulnerable age …’
‘Oh, yes. And when you have a father who hasn’t been there for a lot of your childhood, it probably takes longer to hit you that he’s never coming back. I kept waiting for that moment to come so I could be there for Bruno but … He got so obsessed with bringing other people home safely that I suspect he’s always subconsciously been trying to find his father all these years—I have heard he can get overly intense on missions. Oh, it’s so nice to share this with someone who knows him so well. He’s such a loner.’ Stephanie glanced over her shoulder. ‘But Juliet …’ She lowered her voice. ‘Can I ask you something that Bruno is extremely vague about?’ She gave an apologetic smile. ‘I try not to push but …’
‘Shoot.’ How would Stephanie react when she found out the woman she was opening her heart to didn’t even exist?
‘It’s been five years. And obviously he’s crazy about you. I don’t want to pry and pressure him, because he hates that, but there is going to be a wedding, right? Sometime soon?’
Carmen gaped.
‘And I’m not saying that it has to be any kind of big ceremony or anything. I just … It would be good to see him make that final commitment, even just so it’s cemented in his mind.’
‘Uh …’
‘Because at the moment, I can’t see how a proper relationship can work with him away so much, and you not on base when he is back—and take it from me, it’s hard enough when you are on base. I guess I’m not seeing what you two are seeing when it comes to what the future looks like. I get that you are crazy about each other—I could see it last night—and that is just so …’ She pressed a palm to her chest and made the kind of satisfied oh sound you made at the end of a romantic movie. ‘But is that going to be enough?’
