The Cupcake Conundrum, page 3
part #2 of Williamsville Inn Series
“What’s the big deal, anyway?” Seth said with a little laugh. “You two already know each other. You can use the drive to catch up. It’ll be fine. It’s only a couple of hours.”
Unfortunately, what was supposed to be just over a two-hour drive quickly stalled out in the wake of an accident on I-95 due to rain. Slick roads had led to a four-car pileup. Adrian had put the truck in park twenty minutes ago, and he’d been staring at the ass-end of a semi-truck through sheets of pouring rain ever since. The radio was on, though low, and there had been no conversation to break up the monotony.
The rain could have made it feel cozy and intimate inside the truck cab, but Jay sat stone-faced and silent on the seat next to him. Once Seth had gotten out, Jay had crammed himself up against the door of Adrian’s truck, put down the armrest, and piled his bag and coat up next to it, effectively creating a barrier between them. Despite the heater pumping out warm air, the atmosphere was decidedly frosty.
Adrian cleared his throat. “So, uh, I feel like I owe you an apology.”
Jay sucked in a sharp breath. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“No?” He hadn’t meant for that to come out like a question. “No, I’m not kidding. I know I fucked up.”
“Yeah, no shit.” Jay’s laugh was a little hollow. “I think that’s putting it mildly.”
“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have let things end the way they did.”
“You ghosted on me, Adrian!” Jay snarled.
“I ...” Adrian scrubbed a hand over his face, then glanced up at the semi ahead of them. Nope, they still weren’t moving. “I didn’t mean to.”
“We had an incredible weekend together, talked about trying to make the distance thing work, I gave you my number, and I fucking never heard from you. How does that accidentally happen?”
“It wasn’t accidental,” Adrian admitted. “I made a choice. A bad choice, in hindsight, but ...”
“But what?”
“I have kids, okay!” he blurted out.
“Uh, okay?”
“Two kids. They’re eight and six.”
Jay recoiled. “That’s why you disappeared on me? Because of your children?”
“I didn’t know how you felt about kids! If you wanted them someday. If you would be okay being a stepdad eventually … I got all up in my head about it, and I got cold feet. It seemed crazy to try to make a long-distance thing work when I hadn’t told you about my kids, and I … I panicked, okay? I ignored your messages and I figured you’d just move on.”
“You asshole.” Jay’s voice was venomous. “You should have asked. If you’d bothered to be honest with me, I would have told you I do want kids. I just haven’t found the right guy to get involved with. And dating someone who already has kids has never been a deal-breaker for me. A guy I was with a few years ago had a couple of teenagers, and I loved being a part of their lives. We broke up for entirely unrelated reasons—namely because he had to move out of state because his ex-wife got a great job elsewhere, and he didn’t feel like he could ask me to give up my job at the hotel—but fuck you. Fuck you for assuming all of that without even asking how I felt.”
“Shit.” They stared at each other. “I really fucked up, Jay.”
“Yeah, I guess you really did.”
Adrian’s stomach felt hollow as he stared at the truck ahead of him. Fucking up didn’t begin to cover it.
Jay was silent for a few minutes. “You didn’t lie about your marriage, did you?” he finally asked.
“What? No, I told you the truth! I was divorced at the time. Well, separated. The divorce hadn’t been finalized yet. But we were legally separated like I told you. I swear I didn’t cheat on anyone.”
“Okay. So why the fuck didn’t you tell me you had kids, then? I thought we basically covered everything, but apparently, you left out huge chunks of your life.” Jay sounded bitter. “So that’s a fun new thing to learn.”
Adrian swallowed hard. “That weekend felt like ... like a fantasy. I was just enjoying being with you. Having a break from my daily life of being a dad. I left New York last year with every intention of calling you, but I got home and I was smacked in the face with the reminder that I’ve got two kids depending on me. I’ve got a bakery to run, you work an insane number of hours, and it suddenly seemed ludicrous that we could try to make a relationship happen when we live in different cities. In different states! And I rationalized it by saying you probably didn’t want kids anyway, and even if you did, you probably didn’t want to get saddled with someone else’s kids and ...” Adrian closed his eyes. “I just figured it was easier for both of us if I made a clean break of things.”
“A clean break?” Jay’s laugh was hollow. “That wasn’t clean. It was messy as hell. I spent weeks waiting for you to respond. Months wondering what I’d done wrong. If anything about our time together had been real. I beat myself up, thinking I’d fucked up somehow. So fuck you and your clean break, Adrian.”
Jay fumbled for something in his bag and pulled out a pair of headphones. He jammed the plug into his phone and started to slide them over his ears, but Adrian grabbed his arm to stop him. “Wait, Jay ... let’s talk more. I don’t want to leave things this way.”
“Well, I think I’ve heard quite enough from you at this point, and I really have nothing more to say.” Jay settled the headphones on his head and looked out the passenger window.
Adrian let his head fall back against the headrest with a sigh. Damn it. That had gone far worse than he’d anticipated. At the time, he’d honestly believed—and maybe he’d just been trying to justify it in his head—that Jay would be disappointed for a very short while before he got over it. A minor let-down before he moved on. But clearly, Jay hadn’t moved on. It brought a lump to Adrian’s throat, thinking about Jay blaming himself and wondering what he’d done wrong. That wasn’t what he’d intended at all. He’d liked Jay; honestly, genuinely liked him as a human being. Sure, the sex had been hot—scorching, in fact.
They’d spent most of the expo in Adrian’s hotel room, engaged in the kind of raw, intense sex Adrian had assumed was something other people pretended actually existed. He’d certainly never experienced it before in his own life. But apparently, it did exist. That weekend, they’d spent every spare moment touching and tasting and exploring nearly every possible sexual activity that could happen between consenting adult men. Well, maybe not some of the more extreme kinks, but they’d discovered a few minor ones that Adrian had never dreamed of trying before.
And certainly hadn’t tried since.
His face went hot at the memory of being pressed against the shower wall while Jay fingered him and stroked his cock. Jay had brought him to the edge, over and over, until he was a panting, begging mess. Adrian’s blood heated just thinking about it now, and he had to shift in his seat as his cock started to harden.
But it had been a whole lot more than the sex. They’d both gone into it thinking it was a no-strings-attached fling, but by the end of the weekend, there had clearly been strings. And Adrian had made promises. Promises he hadn’t kept. He’d meant every word of them at the time, but after he’d gotten home, reality had reared its ugly head and scared him shitless. But it still didn’t excuse his behavior.
Jesus, what had he been thinking?
What he should have done was send Jay a message and let him know he’d changed his mind. That would have been the decent thing to do.
Adrian had never meant to make Jay think he’d used him for sex, and then discarded him, but he should have realized how it would seem on Jay’s side. And the thought that Adrian had hurt Jay so deeply felt incredibly shitty. That wasn’t the kind of guy Adrian was. Or at least, not the kind of guy he wanted to be.
There was no denying what he’d done.
Adrian glanced over at Jay. His head rested against the passenger window and his eyes were closed. His lashes were thick and dark against his cheeks, and he breathed slowly and evenly. Adrian didn’t think he was asleep though. There was too much tension in his jaw and shoulders. Adrian had seen Jay truly relaxed and content. He’d felt Jay’s soft breath against his chest, felt Jay’s arm, heavy with muscle and sleep, draped over his midsection. He’d woken Jay up with kisses and fallen asleep with the taste of him on his lips.
And now ... here they were.
The blare of a horn once again jolted Adrian to attention, and he glanced forward to see traffic moving. He eased the truck into drive and crept forward. When he glanced over, Jay’s eyes were open and he stared at Adrian with an inscrutable expression. But traffic picked up after that, and by the time Adrian glanced over again, Jay’s eyes were closed.
They didn’t speak again until they reached Philadelphia.
Three
February 2019 - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
As they approached the outskirts of the City of Brotherly Love, Adrian tapped Jay’s thigh. “Hey, Jay? Do you have the address? I want to put it in my GPS.” Jay’s eyes flew open and he blinked at Adrian, clearly startled.
“What?” Jay pulled his headphones off, and Adrian realized he hadn’t heard a thing he’d said.
“Do you have Seth and Erik’s address handy? I know I have it somewhere, but I can’t really look while I’m driving and there’s nowhere to pull over.”
Jay glanced around. “Where are we exactly?” His voice sounded a little hoarse and scratchy. Adrian wondered if he had actually fallen asleep.
“On the outskirts of Philly.”
“Oh.” Jay rubbed the back of his hand across his eyes. “Yeah, give me a second to get my brain in gear and I’ll find the address. Seth sent it to me the other day, and it shouldn’t be hard to find. I’ll text it to you.”
“Thanks.” Adrian hesitated. “Actually, can you put it in here …” Adrian handed his unlocked phone to Jay. “I don’t want to take my eyes off the road.”
Jay let out an annoyed sounding huff but he did as Adrian asked. The vehicle was silent except for the GPS directing him to the loft in the Avenue of the Arts District. It occurred to Adrian that Jay hadn’t had to ask for his number. He’d still had it in his phone. Had some part of Jay still been hoping to hear from him again? Or had he simply forgotten it was in there? But, no, that didn’t make sense. He’d clearly remembered it was still in his phone. The thought did funny things to Adrian’s stomach, but he wasn’t sure how to ask the question without making the situation worse.
As they got close to the loft, Jay spoke. “I texted Erik. He said to go around the back of the building. There’s a loading dock and a freight elevator we can use.”
“Oh, thank fuck,” Adrian said. “Hauling boxes down four flights of stairs was bad enough. I wasn’t looking forward to carrying them up five.”
Jay didn’t answer.
Adrian found the building, then circled around to the back. As promised, there was a place where he could easily pull up, and he breathed a sigh of relief once the truck was parked. What should have been just over a two-hour drive had taken almost three and a half, and he was looking forward to stretching his legs.
Jay got out of the truck immediately, as if he couldn’t wait to get away from Adrian.
Moving more slowly, Adrian sighed and caught a glimpse of himself in the rearview mirror as he reached for the door handle. He looked tired. There were circles under his blueish-green eyes, and he paused to comb through his disheveled light brown hair with his fingers, hoping to pull himself together. Whom he was trying to impress, he didn’t know. Jay clearly didn’t give a shit.
Seth pulled up beside Adrian’s truck as he got out.
“Well, that took fucking forever,” Seth grumbled when he got out of Erik’s sleek Lexus.
“Tell me about it.” Adrian stretched, feeling stiff as he twisted from side to side. His lower back popped, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure if it was good or if he’d done something very, very wrong. The relief that spread through him a moment later answered that question. He could spend all day on his feet, making bread, rolling out cookies, and decorating cupcakes but sitting for more than three hours had nearly done him in.
“Hey there.”
They both turned to see Erik striding toward them. His red hair shone in the early evening light, and he was dressed well as always, though how the man managed to make jeans and a simple pullover look like a million dollars, Adrian would never know. Jesus, his brother did have good taste in men. Adrian would take Jay any day of the week, though. He glanced over at him with a pang of regret. Damn it, he’d really fucked up big time, hadn’t he?
“Glad you made it safely.” Erik pulled Seth into an embrace and kissed him. When it clearly became more than a quick peck on the lips, Adrian looked away. Unfortunately, his gaze landed on Jay again, who scowled at him.
The heat between Seth and his fiancé was palpable. It had been from the moment Seth brought Erik home to their parents’ house over a year ago. Seth told their mother he was bringing a friend, but from the moment Adrian saw them together, it was obvious that it was far more than that. Adrian was happy for his brother, but way more than a little envious, he admitted to himself as they finally pulled apart.
“Hey, congratulations again on the engagement, by the way,” Adrian said, holding out a hand to Erik. “I’m really happy for you both.”
“Thanks.” Erik gave him a genuine smile. He’d seemed a little serious at first, but the more Adrian got to know him, the more he liked him. He was certainly good for Seth. Few guys could tolerate Seth’s erratic schedule as a travel writer, and Adrian knew Erik traveled a fair amount too. Adrian couldn’t handle that kind of distance in his relationships—which was why a long-distance relationship with Jay had seemed like such a bad idea once he’d gotten home—but it seemed to work perfectly for Seth and Erik.
“Yeah, congratulations,” Jay said. His tone was warm, and Adrian was startled to realize it was the first time he had really sounded like himself all day. “I’m a little pissed you’re stealing my roommate, but otherwise, I’m happy for you guys.”
Seth chuckled. “I feel pretty lucky to be moving in with this guy.” He lightly bumped shoulders with Erik. “But I am sorry to lose you as a roommate. If you get a job in Philly, though, you’ll be close enough that we can still hang out.”
“No luck on the job front in New York, then?” Erik said.
“Not so far.”
“What happened exactly?” Adrian blurted out. “Last year, it sounded like you loved the position at The Kensington.”
Jay glanced over at him and scowled. “Yeah, well, that was last year. A lot has changed for me since then. I learned to stop trusting people.”
Ouch.
Even the industrial ovens in Adrian’s bakery had never burned him that badly.
Seth gave Jay a sympathetic look. “Look, the executive chef you worked for was an asshole but—”
“Can we not talk about that whole situation?” Jay said with a sigh. “I’m exhausted just thinking about it.”
“Uh, sure.” Seth looked surprised. “Moving on. When are your interviews?”
“I have two tomorrow and another one two days later.”
“Awesome. I’m sure one of them will work out. And hopefully, you’ll have two offers so you can get them both vying over you.”
“I’d be more than happy with one.”
“Let’s cross our fingers for that then,” Seth said cheerfully.
“Come on, let me take you upstairs and show you around,” Erik said. “I’m sure you could use a short break before we get started moving Seth in.”
Erik and Seth’s loft was stunning. Adrian wasn’t too big on architecture or design but even he could tell the place was impressive. The large foyer led into a huge open concept living, dining, kitchen area. It was a little stark and sparsely furnished, but once Seth’s belongings had been moved in, it would be amazing.
“There’s a half bath there,” Erik said as he pointed to the left, just inside the door. “And a full bath there to the right, through the spare bedroom. Seth, you know where the one in the bedroom is.”
They dispersed quickly and Adrian took the one in the guest room when Jay made a beeline for the other.
When they reconvened in the spacious living room, Erik cleared his throat. “So, I’m not sure what we’re going to do for sleeping arrangements, exactly. It’s a two-bedroom place, plus a den. I didn’t really anticipate having this many guests at once when I bought the place,” Erik said, his tone apologetic. “I was single at the time and didn’t have any family besides my daughter, Joanna.”
“It’s fine.” Jay waved off the apology. “I appreciate you letting me crash here while I job hunt. We’ll figure it out.”
“Of course.” Seth smiled at him. “It’s the least we could do for your help with moving. And dealing with a new roommate.”
“Yeah, the new person seemed nice when I met them. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get a position here, and I’ll be moving out too.” Jay’s smile looked forced.
“We should probably get your stuff unloaded before we worry about sleeping arrangements,” Adrian said. He glanced at his phone to check the time. “We’ve only got a couple of hours to get it hauled up here, then get the trailer to the rental place.”
Seth let out a little groan. “Damn it, you’re right. Okay. Let’s go.”
With four people doing the heavy lifting, it actually didn’t take as long as Adrian had anticipated to unload the trailer and move the contents up to the apartment. He could have kissed the elevator in gratitude. They stashed Seth’s belongings in Erik’s den, but it was packed to the brim by the time they were done.
Erik surveyed it with a skeptical look. “How did you fit all of that in your place? You shared your apartment with three other people!”
“I had a storage unit in the basement,” Seth admitted with a sheepish grin.
