Chasing The Dream: The Complete Series, page 37
“You planned this, didn’t you, you son of a…”
I shut up when Maddie ran over to us with a big smile on her face. She ruffled Kyle’s black and white hair. “Nice job.”
“Why thank you,” Jared said, giving her a quick kiss.
“Hector…” She gave me a disappointed look from behind her glasses that made me feel like an even bigger asshole than I already did. Tara must have told her everything. “Don’t even think about leaving. And be nice.”
What did that mean? I wasn’t going to start anything. Hell, if it were up to me I’d be back at the hotel already. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was be around Tara knowing I couldn’t have her.
She turned toward me and, even with the crowd rushing around us, all I saw was the cobalt blue of her eyes. She paled and quickly looked down, tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear. Her face looked puffy, like she’d been crying, yet was still the most beautiful thing I’d seen all day.
Julie immediately whisked our group to the backstage area where we had to get ready. I didn’t get a second to talk to Tara or even catch her eye. And who was I kidding—there was no way in hell she’d want to talk to me anyway. I was shocked she’d come at all, after what I’d done. She must not have spoken to Andy yet or they would be together, celebrating their perfect future. I hated that I’d hurt her and was unable to apologize, at the very least. Maybe the guys were right, and I should tell her how I feel. But that would only complicate things more.
Backstage was pure chaos, with everyone in the competition scrambling to get their costumes on. We pulled our clothes out of wardrobe bags and it became a mad rush to get them on as fast as possible.
Julie darted back and forth between us, making sure our outfits were okay, fixing any last minute emergencies, and making any tweaks to the fitting. She was cosplaying as Poison Ivy with a bright red wig, a leather choker with ivy leaves, and a green plaid dress with metal buckles that was so tiny I’m not sure it actually qualified as a dress. Carla helped her with hair and makeup, dressed as Catwoman in a black leather jacket with spikes all over it, pants with jagged slices cut through them, and cats-eye sunglasses perched on her head.
We were Gotham’s finest villains with a punk twist. If all of Batman’s enemies had formed one giant rock band, that would be us. Julie had put the entire thing together, designing and sewing many of the clothes herself, taking inspiration from the traditional comic book costumes for each character but giving them a tough, modern edge. I had to admit we all looked pretty fucking awesome.
The others had made me go as Bane, in a black military-style vest, black cargo pants covered in zippers and straps, and combat boots. Not too different from what I wore on stage, though I missed my Villain Complex hat.
“Looking good,” Julie said, inspecting my costume. “But where’s your mask?”
I crossed my arms. “I’m not wearing the mask.”
“You have to wear it. Without it you just look like a muscular guy in black.”
“Fine with me.”
She gave me a look that didn’t leave any room for argument. I groaned and grabbed the stupid bandana. It was black and white and went over my mouth and nose, a more everyday version of Bane’s mask. “Fine.”
“Mmm, you are the sexiest villain ever,” Jared said to Maddie, yanking her close and kissing her. They were dressed as Gotham’s most notorious couple, with Jared as the Joker in dark purple pants covered in patches and chains, a black t-shirt that said “Ha ha ha” in green letters, and a studded leather jacket. Maddie was Harley Quinn with a short, sexy dress that alternated between red and black under a jacket like Jared’s, plus matching knee-high tights and boots. Her look was complete with a light blond wig done in pigtails, a leather collar around her neck, and her signature black-rimmed glasses.
“No kissing!” Julie snapped at them. “You’ll ruin your makeup.”
Kyle had his arms around Alexis and looked like he was about to break that rule, too. He was going as Two-Face with his wild hair and a costume that had one side in black leather with spikes and chains, the other side smooth, simple, and white. Beside him, Alexis looked super hot as a genderbent version of the Riddler, wearing a tight green top with question marks all over it, black cut off shorts, purple sunglasses and boots, and a tiny bowler hat over her long red hair.
I enjoyed checking out all the girls in their costumes, but the only one that made me absolutely speechless—and instantly hard—was Tara. Julie had somehow pulled off an amazing last minute costume, transforming Tara into a female version of the Penguin. She was in all black and white with a leather mini-skirt, thigh-high fishnets, and those killer leather boots that showed off her shapely legs. She had on that corset from her pirate costume that brought back all sorts of erotic memories, along with a bowtie at her neck, fingerless biker gloves, and a top hat.
She looked so hot I wanted to bend her over and take her from behind like I’d done last night. Or pin her against the nearest wall and wrap her legs around me like I’d done the other night. But neither of those was going to happen ever again. I had to accept that we were over.
As we got ready, she stayed as far away from me as she could. The other girls hovered around her, keeping her busy at all times, like they were protecting her from me. I was glad they’d become friends and that she with us tonight, even if it meant I had to spend hours in her presence, trying not to go crazy knowing Andy could show up and propose at any minute.
Once Julie approved all of our costumes, we were taken to another room with a panel of judges. They had us pose for pictures and inspected our costumes. I reluctantly wore my Bane bandana the entire time even though it was uncomfortable as shit. I hoped Maddie and Jared appreciated it. I liked Julie too, but for my best friend and the girl who’d turned his life around? I’d dress up in whatever the hell they wanted.
After the judging and photos we were sent backstage again and told to wait until it was time to go on. Inside Ballroom 20 the show was starting, but we could only make out muffled microphone voices and music. There were no chairs backstage, so we leaned against a wall and surveyed the other costumes around us.
I couldn’t stop looking at Tara. Every second I was near her was pure torture. I had to say something. I had to apologize to her. I couldn’t leave things the way they were, even if all I did was try to repair our friendship. The thought of not having her in my life at all was just too unbearable.
But right as I was about to summon the courage to talk to her, she jumped up and walked away, clutching her phone in her hand.
TWENTY-ONE
Tara
Andy texted me that he was inside the convention center, so I told him to meet me at the room we were all stuck in. He couldn’t get inside since he wasn’t part of the Masquerade, and I had to get a bathroom pass from one of the volunteers to slip out for a few minutes. How annoying.
I’d been dying to speak with Andy ever since Hector had flipped out on me, hoping he could shed some light on what had happened. All night I’d been tempted to say something to Hector, but wasn’t sure what. I wanted to tell him about my decision, but I was still too upset with him. If he wasn’t ready to apologize for being a jerk then I had nothing to say to him either.
The convention center had thinned out a lot now that everyone at Comic-Con was off to either grab dinner, crash in their hotel rooms, or head to other events and parties. I found Andy leaning against the second floor railing, staring down at the lobby. He’d changed clothes from when I’d last seen him, wearing a black button-up shirt over dark blue jeans, his blond hair slicked back. He looked handsome but out of place, especially next to me.
He eyed me up and down, obviously surprised by my costume. “Wow. You look…striking.”
Was that a compliment? I couldn’t tell. Hector would have just said I looked “smoking hot” or something. God, I missed him. I missed what we’d almost had.
“Thanks,” I said, adjusting my top hat, which kept threatening to fall off despite the bobby pins Carla had stuck in it. “What did you want to talk about?”
He gestured for me to follow him and we moved down the hall and around a corner, to where it was a little more quiet. There wasn’t really any privacy in a place like Comic-Con though. I hoped he would be fast; I wasn’t sure how long I had before we would be sent on stage.
“I don’t have much time,” I said. “What’s going on? Did you say something to Hector earlier?”
“I wanted to do this over dinner, but you’ve been so busy. But it doesn’t matter. I have some great news.” He took both my gloved hands in his, and I let him. “I’m moving to New York.”
I blinked at him, the words not registering for a second. “What happened to the job in Dallas?”
“I changed my mind and found a job in New York so I can be with you.” He gave me a huge smile and took a step closer, so we were only inches away. “Isn’t it great? We can even get an apartment together. I know you were worried about moving there on your own, and now you don’t have to.”
I stared into his warm, hazel eyes, and for a second I was tempted. Maybe it was my destiny to take the New York job and get back together with Andy. Things with him had always been good. Our relationship had been easy, comfortable, and practical. We’d been together a year and had never fought. We’d always had fun together. He was great in bed. Not Hector great, but pretty close.
And working in publishing in New York was my dream job. It was more stable than the LA one, and didn’t have the complication of being in the same city as Hector.
Being with Andy would be easier than being alone, right?
I could see my future stretch out before me…and it wasn’t bad at all. Andy didn’t set me on fire from the inside out like Hector did, but maybe that was better. In the end, Hector had only burned me.
Hector didn’t want me. Andy did.
I didn’t know how to respond. My head said one thing and my heart said another. “I’m just…I’m shocked.”
“I know it’s a lot to take in. But the last few days without you have been miserable. I’ll do anything to win you back.” He got down on one knee in the middle of the hallway and held out a small jewelry box. “I love you, Tara. Now that we’re both going to be in the same city, I know we can make it work. Will you marry me?”
TWENTY-TWO
Hector
“What are you doing? Go after her, you idiot,” Jared said.
I crossed my arms. “Why? What’s the point?”
Kyle rolled his eyes. “The point is that you love her, dumbass. And you need to make this right, before it’s too late.”
“It’s better off this way.”
Jared draped an arm across my shoulders. “Hector, we’ve been friends a long time, and I know what a stubborn ass you can be. I also know that you’re one of the most sensitive guys in the world, even though you’ll never admit it. Now get over yourself and tell her how you feel before she gets engaged to some other guy. If she turns you down, at least you tried. But if you don’t do it, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what could have happened.”
“Shut up,” I growled.
“Face it, you’re a big, grumpy teddy bear,” Kyle said, grinning. “And for some crazy reason Tara seems to think that’s hot.”
“She’s going to marry Andy. I don’t want to get in their way.”
Maddie lightly placed a hand on my arm. “But Hector, she doesn’t want to be with Andy. She loves you.”
Impossible. Someone as perfect as Tara loving me? No fucking way. She was sunlight on warm summer days and I was a starless night with cold, stiff rain. She could have any guy she wanted. Why in hell would she choose me?
“She doesn’t love me.”
“She does. Trust me on this one.” Maddie sounded so confident I almost believed her.
Almost.
But if Tara really did love me that changed everything.
My whole life was heavy and there were only three things that made it lighter: drawing, drumming, and her. I was good at building walls, not tearing them down. But for her? I’d try my hardest. For her, I’d give this long distance thing a shot. No matter what job she took, no matter what city she lived in, I’d move mountains to be with her.
Unless I was too late already.
Jesus, what had I done? I’d told her I didn’t feel anything for her as more than a friend. I’d told her to take the New York job. Hell, I’d practically shoved her into Andy’s arms. I had to find her and tell her how I felt before I lost her forever.
“Where did she go?” I asked.
Maddie gestured to one of the doors. “I saw her get a bathroom pass, so she must be right outside.”
Jared thumped me on the back. “Good luck.”
I rushed past them and to the volunteer at the door, snatching the bathroom pass from her hand without a word. Tara wasn’t right outside, but she had to be around here somewhere. I headed in the direction of the closest bathroom to look for her, preparing a speech inside my head. Trying to come up with something that would convince her she belonged with me and not Andy.
But when I turned the corner, I saw them. Tara’s back was to me so I couldn’t see her face, but in front of her Andy was on bended knee, holding out a ring. The sight tore through me like a grenade going off at my feet, flaying every inch of my heart with shrapnel. I could only watch in stunned silence for a beat, before turning on my heel and walking away, choking on the words I’d never be able to say to her.
I was too late.
TWENTY-THREE
Tara
Andy flicked open the jewelry box, revealing an engagement ring. I gasped and covered my mouth with my gloved hand, too stunned to speak. He stared up at me with a hopeful expression on his face, and a few people stopped outside the bathroom to watch the scene unfold.
He waited for an answer, but I didn’t have one. My eyes were locked on the box with the ring I’d wear for the rest of my life if I said yes. Inside was a small diamond solitaire on a gold band.
A gold band.
I clutched at the amethyst pendant around my neck, with its sterling silver chain. I was allergic to gold. Hector knew that.
After a year, how could Andy not?
I’d told him before that I wasn’t ready for marriage. We’d broken up and I’d never hinted I wanted to get back together with him—and now he was proposing? Why in the world would he think that was a good idea? Especially at Comic-Con, of all places.
No, I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t accept a life that wasn’t bad. I wanted a life I woke up every day feeling grateful for and excited about—even if the path to get there was difficult. And I didn’t want a love that was easy, comfortable, or practical. I wanted a love that set my every nerve on fire, that made me forget what day it was, that breathed life back into me.
That life was in LA.
That love was Hector.
“I’m sorry Andy, but I’m not moving to New York.”
“You’re not?” His hand faltered, dropping to his side, but didn’t put the ring away.
“No. I’m taking a job in LA.”
“I see.” He nodded slowly. “Okay. That’s not ideal, but we can make it work. I’ll find a job there instead.”
“No!” I blurted out. “Andy…even if we live in the same city, it’s over.”
He stood up and shoved the jewelry box in his pocket. “I don’t understand. We broke up because we were moving to different cities, but that isn’t a problem anymore. We can still be together.”
I sighed. “That wasn’t the only reason we broke up.”
“But…I love you. You said you loved me. We’ve been together for a year. I don’t get it. What did I do wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. You were a great boyfriend. It just…wasn’t enough. I’m sorry.”
“It’s him, isn’t it?” Andy asked, his eyes narrowing. “All this time, you’ve been in love with Hector. I tried not to be jealous of your relationship with him. I tried to give you space because you said you were just friends. But you’ve been cheating on me with him, haven’t you?”
“No! It was never like that between us.”
Except now I realized it kind of was.
Hector was the one I dreamed about when I went to bed and the one I woke up thinking about. He was the first person I rushed to share both good and bad news with. The person I trusted more than anyone else in the world. The person I missed when I didn’t talk to him for even a few hours. The person who made me smile even on my darkest days.
We’d never had anything romantic until this week—but in my heart it had always been him.
I realized now I’d been in love with Hector for years, I’d just never allowed myself to admit it because we couldn’t be together. I’d tried to deny it, tried as hard as I could to fall in love with Andy, but the person I wanted to spend all my waking hours with had always been Hector. Andy and the guys before him had just been substitutes, at least subconsciously. Once I’d finally met Hector in person, it made me realize just how much I’d been missing with everyone else.
“Just give me another shot,” Andy said. “Please. I’ll do whatever you want.”
My eyes watered because I knew this was going to hurt Andy and because this hurt me, too. It was hard to say goodbye to someone who had once been so important in my life, but I was confident in my decision. There had been nothing wrong with Andy or with our relationship—but there hadn’t been anything special about it either. We were together because we’d been together for months and got along great and because change was hard. That’s why graduation and moving to new cities had been the perfect excuse to break it off.
But even if I didn’t end up with Hector, I couldn’t be with Andy. I’d rather be alone than with a guy who wasn’t right for me, and it wouldn’t be fair to him to keep leading him on. As difficult as it was, this had to end now—for good.
