Bound to You (Ruby Cove book 1), page 14
“Thank you, this is perfect,” I say. “I can see why Nora and your mom are hooked on these.” A giggle escapes my mouth as I recall their latest escapades. I don’t know how Marina can stand it. But from the groan she lets out I know she doesn’t nearly enjoy their shenanigans as much as they do.
This weekend they decided to stand on the tables at Marina’s and dance like they were in the middle of a seventies nightclub when some old song came on that I didn’t even recognize.
It took Marina at least five minutes before she was able to coax them down, the only thing able to get them even considering getting down was offering them another round of margs.
“I really need to start cutting them off earlier in the night,” she sighs, pulling a laugh from both May and me.
“You’ve been quiet May,” Marina says. “Did seeing Rafael looking sexy as sin throw you into a daze?”
“As if.” We both laugh at her obvious attraction. “It’s criminal that someone that attractive is such a jackass,” she says, surprising me that she’d even admit she finds him attractive. “Are we just going to ignore how quiet both Isla and Caio were on the ride over?” She looks at me from the top of her sunglasses, switching the attention away from herself.
“Has something happened between you two?” Marina turns her attention to me as well, setting her drink on the stool beside her.
“No, nothing at all.”
The girls share a look that I know all too well. “Why does no one believe me when I say we are just friends?”
“Because we see the way you two look at each other, it’s kind of hard to ignore.” May looks accusingly at me over the rim of her glass.
“Plus, the way you say friends sounds less and less confident every time,” Marina adds, prompting me to scowl over at her.
“Okay, have you guys met Caio? He’s a gentleman. He’s lovely, and he is like that with everyone.” Avoiding Caio includes avoiding talking about him, but that’s not really going in my favor right now.
“You know it’s okay for you to admit that you like him, right?” May says.
“No, it’s not.”
“Why not, Isla? And don’t give me that crap about it being too soon after Brandon, cause we both know that’s a cop out.”
I sigh knowing my best friend won’t let this one go. “Once I do that, once I admit that I like him, I’m fucked, May. I’m opening the door to heartbreak just for it to slam right back in my face when we leave and pretend like I wasn’t expecting it.” I throw my hands up. I’m so sick of this internal fight I’ve been having with myself. My heart is whispering kiss him, touch him, let yourself feel his affection. And my head is shouting at me not to be so naive and open myself up to inevitable hurt. The last time I opened my heart to a man I regretted it; I don’t want to make that mistake again.
“Who says we have to leave?” May blurts out, causing both Marina and I to snap our heads in her direction.
“What do you mean? We can’t just stay here.” My heart is running laps in my chest, and I don’t know why.
“Why not? Tell me what is waiting for you back home? Or better yet tell me what you are looking forward to about going back to New York?” I try to imagine my day-to-day life back at home. There are good things. Like the ice cream at Lenny’s around the corner from my parents’ house. That’s some damn good ice cream. But after that…nothing screams out at me, there’s nothing I can think of that I feel like I couldn’t live without. Guilt shoots through me as I think of my parents, as I think of the relief I would feel at not having their disapproving gaze always looking over my shoulder.
“Ask yourself if it’s worth giving up an opportunity of finding some kind of happiness with that gorgeous hunk of a man that is clearly enamored with you,” she nods her head towards where three silhouettes appear heading back our way in the distance. “Even if you pretend not to notice it. I love you Isla, and I don’t want to pressure you into anything, but I just don’t want you to make a decision based on misplaced obligations.” The look in her eyes portrays genuine love for me. “I’m just saying, give yourself a chance to see what could happen.”
But what could very likely happen is me ending up crying on a red eye flight back to New York at the end of all of this. “I need another drink.”
chapter nineteen
CAIO
Droplets of sweat trail down the back of my neck, soaking into my T-shirt as we ride back to the house. Moving the goats was easy enough but the sun was beating down on us like a steady drum.
Every summer is getting hotter than the last, but this year it’s like the sun is right at the edge of the earth’s atmosphere.
I could use a cold beer or two right about now.
My horse Blade snorts from beneath me, the poor guy is probably boiling even more than I am. The sound of female laughter infiltrates my ears as we get closer. I can see the girls lounging in the pool from my high vantage point, Isla is sitting up on the edge of the pool, leaning back on her hands with her legs dangling in the water. Her hair has gone all wavy the way it does when she’s been in the water. She’s always trying to tame it, but I love it like that, I just want to tangle my fingers in the messy waves.
She’s wearing that same blue bikini from that night in the pool, my dick twitches against my jeans at the sight. She’s laughing at something that Marina said, her smile stealing all my attention. She looks irresistible, even better than that night, the dim lighting in the pool didn’t do her figure justice, the bright sun is highlighting her every curve. I can barely take my eyes off of her as I mindlessly pull on the reins, leading Blade towards the barn. I’m aching to touch her.
We dismount and hose our horses down. They need the cool water just as much as us, if not more. Heath has got a little slice of paradise out here. He loves the peace and quiet and I love coming to visit, I haven’t done it enough recently.
I give Blade a grateful pat as I lead him back into his stall, my hands trailing across his black and white coat. A pang of guilt hits me right in my chest. I used to see this handsome guy all the time, used to make the trip out here regularly. This is the perfect place to get away from the office when I was having a hard time. Heath and I would ride for hours, we’d barely even talk, just exist peacefully out here together. I haven’t made enough time to get out here in recent months, so it’s good to be out here again today.
I close the latch on Blade's stall, giving him a kiss on his big nose before walking out. I can’t resist this guy.
We slowly make our way to the house where three beers are sitting cracked open on the table by the pool. I immediately pick one up, gulping the cool liquid down. That feeling is unlike any other. A cold drink on a hot day is a different kind of ecstasy.
“Good?” Isla’s voice cuts through the silence I didn’t realize had fallen upon us, as all three of us guys are chugging down the beers while the girls are sitting there in silence watching us.
“Mmm, very good,” I respond.
“I thought you’d all be a little hot after being out there.” Her eyes skim over my body, catching on my T-shirt that is stuck to my chest with sweat around the collar.
“Thank you,” I say. My gaze connecting with hers before she looks away. She keeps doing that lately, and I despise it.
“Welp, I could use some extra cooling off,” Heath says seconds before diving into the pool right in between the girls splashing them with water, resulting in an echoed sound of annoyance from all of them. May decides to splash him back as soon as he comes up, resulting in them wrestling in the water until they get too tired and give up calling it a truce.
The sun has lowered in the sky, leaving us looking out over golden fields as we lounge around the pool. A complete feeling of peace filling the air.
“So what’s for dinner?” Marina asks.
“Ooh yeah I’m getting hungry too,” May adds. Isla sits there quietly smiling.
“Oh shit,” Heath says. “I hadn’t planned that far ahead. I think I have some freezer pizzas?” He raises his shoulders in question as he looks around the group.
“Do you not have a chef at this fine estate?” May mocks.
“Ha-ha. No, I usually just whip something up for myself, but I can’t say you’d appreciate my cooking.”
“Yeah, let’s not do that,” Rafael cuts in. He and I have been subjected to Health’s “cooking” one too many times.
“I’ll make something,” he gets up from his spot against the edge of the pool starting into the house. “I hope you at least have basic ingredients.” He throws the comment to Heath over his shoulder.
“Yeah, good luck with that,” I throw back. Heath has never been the most organized of us.
An hour later Rafael comes out with six bowls of his signature carbonara. We eat in silence as we all scarf down our first meal in hours. The only sounds being crickets and the occasional satisfactory groan from my hungry friends.
The few beers I had were holding me over, but I couldn’t have gone much longer without a meal, and this is exactly what I needed after a big day. It takes all of my control to stop my eyes from flicking to Isla who’s sitting across from me. The girl loves her food, and I love watching her love it. Something about the pure bliss on her face when she eats a good meal makes me smile.
There’s a comfortable silence between us all, Isla and May have slotted into our routine perfectly. I can’t imagine how quiet it’s going to feel when they go home at the end of the season. Dread settles at the bottom of my stomach thinking of not seeing Isla’s pretty face again. She’s become a part of my everyday life, whether that includes actually seeing her or just my mind involuntarily thinking of her multiple times a day. Though not that I believe that would stop even if she wasn’t around.
After dinner, Marina slowly takes May up the stairs to one of the ten bedrooms here to sleep off the one too many Margaritas she had, while me and Isla bring the dishes in to wash up. She’s a little wobbly on her feet as she stands at the sink rinsing the dinner plates.
“Let me do that,” I say taking the dish brush from her before she falls asleep standing.
She’s been quiet all night and I hate it, I feel like she’s avoiding me, but I can’t think of why. Did I overstep the other night at the fundraiser? When we were talking about her family and her ex?
I was walking that fine line again, wanting her to open up but not wanting to scare her off. Maybe I misjudged how the conversation went, because after that night I felt like we took a step forward, but today it feels like we’ve taken a few steps back.
She finally breaks the silence between us. “I’ve got something for you,” she says, shuffling over to her bag by the door on wobbly feet.
She walks over to me with something clutched behind her back. I lean back on the counter, tossing the towel over my shoulder before crossing my arms in front of me. “What do you have there?”
She’s got a funny look on her face as she sways in front of me. “This.” She pulls out an envelope from behind her back.
The envelope.
She won’t ever give up, will she?
She pushes the envelope into my chest, but she can’t get away quick enough as I close my hand around her wrist. “When will you learn that I won’t take this from you?”
I got housekeeping to drop the envelope back in Isla’s room after they tried to give it to me last week.
“I can look after myself Caio.”
“I know you can, and I’ve never doubted that. Except for when it comes to a handbrake, of course,” I tease, and narrowly miss her swatting my chest in retaliation. “But just because you can look after yourself doesn’t mean you always have to.”
She frowns up at me and it makes me smile. I like her frowns, especially her drunk frowns when I can’t tell if she knows she’s even doing it.
“I don’t want anything but you, here, under my roof. I won’t let you pay for something that I’m implementing.” I might be exposing myself too much here, but I take the envelope out of her hands and reach around her to tuck it into the back pocket of the little denim skirt she put on earlier in the night. “I don’t want to see that anywhere but in your room again. Okay?”
She nods, slipping free of my grasp and moving to sit on the stool under the other side of the bench. She rests her head in her palms with this look on her face like she’s contemplating life.
I go back to the sink, continuing to wash up the rest of the dinner dishes, if I couldn’t see Isla in the reflection of the window in front of me, I wouldn’t even know she was there, she’s so quiet. The only noise filling the room is the swirl of the hot water beneath my hands, until she finally breaks the silence between us.
“Do you ever feel like you’re just a little acorn or a leaf or something, and the world is just having its way with you?” Her voice is tired, and she’s still a little drunk, but I can hear the conflict in there. I put the last dish on the drying rack before I move over to where she’s siting as she continues. “Like a storm is always looming, the wind just blowing you around in every direction with no intention of stopping. Like you have no idea where you’re heading.”
Her words strike a chord with me, I felt exactly like that when I first landed here, no clue what I was doing or why I was here. Is this why she’s been so quiet? She’s been in her head about where her life is headed.
I come to stop in front of her. “Isla,” I say, running a finger down her bare shoulder, eliciting those goosebumps I love to see. “You could do anything you’ve ever dreamed of. Complete control over your life is only a hairbreadth away. I promise, you just need to reach out and take a hold of it.” She looks up into my eyes. I can almost taste the alcohol on her breath she’s that close, and fuck how I want to give in and see what she really tastes like, but not tonight, not like this. So I just tuck a wavy strand behind her ear. “For the record, sweetheart, I’m glad the storm blew you here.”
chapter twenty
ISLA
The wind keeps tossing loose strands of my hair into my eye-line as I sit cross legged in the sand with my sketch pad in my lap. When we went out on the boat, I noticed this small beach tucked away in the corner of the bay, and decided today was the perfect day to make the trip out here. I’m surprised there’s not more people that come to swim here, the waves are so calm inching their way up the sand, but I can see the locals from here in the distance, jumping off the rock wall on Main like they do every day.
I’ve slowly been filling the pages of the book Nora gave me with my pastel artworks. I’m finding myself attracted to the imperfectness of them, and today I wanted to come down here for some peace, and for some new scenery to take inspiration from, but my hair flying into my face is interrupting said peace.
I rip out my hair tie before pulling my hair back into a braid. I’m halfway through when my phone buzzes in my pocket. I half expect it to be Brandon when I pull it out, before remembering that I blocked his number late last night. I was sick of the bombarding messages and after my conversation with Caio last night I decided I don’t need to waste any more energy on him, even if that is just pushing decline on his calls. Hopefully he’ll finally get the message and leave me alone.
My mom’s face flashes up on my phone, still buzzing in my hand. The photo is of the both of us at my high school graduation, I’m smiling so wide at the camera, and she’s looking at me, pride welling in her eyes, she was so excited for me, and I was equally excited for my future, thinking my mom would be so proud when I finished my degree, following my passion. I let my hair fall away as I contemplate whether I should pick up or not.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Isla? Oh honey it’s so good to hear your voice.” A wave of guilt crashes over me at the amount of her calls I’ve declined since being here. I just haven’t been able to bring myself to hear what she’s got to say about everything that went down.
“Why haven’t you been picking up?”
“Sorry Mom, I’ve just been busy,” I say. It’s not completely untrue.
“Too busy to answer even Brandon’s calls?”
“Mom, I broke up with Brandon.” As if she doesn’t know this. “There’s no reason for me to answer his calls anymore, I don’t want to see him again, or talk to him for that matter.”
“Never mind that, what are you doing there?”
“Just relaxing Mom, taking some time for myself.”
I can hear her sigh on the other end. “Well, when will you be back?”
“Not until the end of summer.”
“Oh honey that’s far too long, you need to come home soon, back to your real life.” But the longer I’m here, the more my life in New York feels like it’s not my real life, or like maybe it shouldn’t be.
“Your father has said he will keep a spot here for you at his firm if you come home now.”
“Mom, I’m not coming home now, and even if I was, I don’t want to work at dad’s firm, I never have.”
“Brandon is working there now, you two could work together.” Of course he is. I don’t even want to know how he wormed his way in. I don’t miss the fact that she ignored my earlier comment that I don’t want to see Brandon, let alone work with him.
“Mom, I’m not coming home for a while so tell dad to fill the position.”
“Don’t be a silly girl.” Her patience snaps. “You can’t just frolic off on some little holiday, don’t you realize how this affects your father and me? You need to come home now.”
“How this affects you?”
“Everyone is asking where you are, what you’re doing, where you’re going to work, and what are we supposed to say Isla? You had a hissy fit and disappeared after we talked to you about a real career. I understand you like to paint and that’s why we allowed you to study it, but we all knew you would think about something serious when you finished. Take after your brother, look at how well he is doing. Everyone asks about you, and we don’t know what to say!”
Does she miss the fact that her son is so successful, yet he never comes home to visit?
