Mafia Beasts: The Complete Series, page 28
He wasn’t a monster. The fact that he felt guilty about it was enough to confirm that he was a man, his humanity intact.
Him telling me about this part of his past made me glad. For him to trust me with the truth of such a horrible accident made me want to place my trust in him in return.
Standing, I strode over to him while he watched me warily. I sat beside him. “You’re not an unworthy mate.”
“I’m a murderer.”
I reached for his hand. “We both are,” I whispered.
We stared at each other for a tense moment, then he lifted me into his lap. “Tell me when you’re ready. I’ll wait,” he said, his voice gruff. He kissed me. “I would never hurt you.”
“I know.” I kissed him back.
“I’m so glad to have you back with us, dear,” Mrs. Holt said. The Viking, bear shifter woman sat beside me on her sofa in the bright, airy sitting room. She wore a pair of dark jeans with a green silk blouse that brought out the color of her eyes. “The boys were miserable without you. I hope they’ve been treating you well since your return.”
I sipped my tea, trying desperately to hide the warmth spreading over my cheeks as my brain immediately brought up images of my recent encounter with Zane. That was... holy fuck. I’d balked at first, afraid that I’d relive my time as Forrest’s torture toy, but his wicked features never once entered my mind.
Zane had commanded all of my attention. My entire focus was on him and what he did to my body, how he made me feel so vulnerable yet cherished at the same time. Never once did I think he would abuse his power. He took what he wanted, but he also gave me everything. The things he’d said still bounced around my mind. The cuddling afterward had been surprising. Who’d have thought a man turned on by chaining up and spanking women could also be so caring? Tender even?
If he was deceiving me—saying and doing what he thought he should to get what he wanted—consider me duped. The kind of passion that lit a fire within us both couldn’t be faked. He cared. I saw it in his eyes. Heard it in his words.
I swallowed another sip. “Um, yes, for the most part they’ve been fine.”
“I’m so glad to hear it.” Mrs. Holt’s smile was downright sinful. “Now,” she sobered, “what are your plans for the future?”
“Well... I told the bosses that I’d stay and break their curse. In exchange, I hope they’ll help me find answers and kill Forrest Nightling. There are some things that I learned while I was held by 5th Circle that don’t seem to add up.” Or at least, I hoped they didn’t. But me being a monster was a separate issue from the things Forrest did to me. He was vile. He had to pay.
“Mm, I see. A business arrangement.” She picked up her teacup, dwarfed in her large, slender-fingered hands. “You sound like Zane when you put it that way.” She leaned slightly forward. “I don’t believe you’re quite so cold and calculating as him.”
“Um.” I blushed. I’d come here intending to keep my heart guarded as much as possible. In a few short days, the walls I’d built around it were already beginning to crumble. Just as I’d always known, the moment I said yes to Zane, I’d lost myself to my darkest desires. We connected on a level I never knew existed—one of pain and pleasure, give and take, control and submission. My soul craved what he offered.
Lucas’s story, him opening up about it, only made me feel closer to him too. I wanted his mark on me. I wanted to claim him as my own. Not just because of this nagging, primal impulse deep inside me. No, there was more. He was safety, protection, and home. I knew it in my bones.
I cleared my throat. “No. I’m not like Zane, but I had to put it in terms they would understand. They understand a business deal.”
“Yes, they do. I have no doubt you’ll break through their crusty, hard exteriors and come out on the other side victorious.” Mrs. Holt winked. “As for revenge on this Forrest person, I’m afraid that will have to wait until we’re finished with Eclipse.”
“What’s going on with Eclipse?” I asked. I’d stated my terms that first day back here, but we hadn’t spoken of it since. They hadn’t officially agreed to help me, and this was the first time I was hearing about their focus being on the wolf shifter gang who ruled half of Seattle.
Mrs. Holt tsked. “Those boys need to communicate better.” She shook her head and sighed. “Have they told you that Lucas was killed?”
My jaw dropped. “What? No! He’s alive...” I gestured toward the door. We’d spoken in the library half an hour ago.
“I can’t believe those three. Anyway, several Eclipse wolves ganged up on Lucas and murdered him when he went searching for you at your old house in Olympia. They dumped his body in Seattle, probably wanting us to find it.” Her pale-green eyes flashed with anger. “No one takes the life of one of my boys and gets away with it.”
Oh my God, I was so fucking confused. “But he’s alive.” I was ninety-nine percent sure he wasn’t a ghost.
“Yes, he is. Strangely, the witch who cursed us brought him back to life.” Her lips dropped into a frown. “Very strange. Suspicious, if you ask me.”
“Wait. Hold on.” I held up a hand. “The enchantress brought Lucas back?”
“Mm, yes. Apparently, she’s not finished with him yet. But that is neither here nor there. Eclipse will pay. I’ve called in favors all across the country. Shortly before the full moon, this house will be hosting enough of our allies to strike fear in Damien Garcia’s cunning little heart. We’ll plan. Then we’ll cut Eclipse out of Seattle like the cancer they are.” Her tone made me shudder. For the first time, I could see her as the ruthless founder of Penumbra Syndicate.
“Anyway,” she smiled, her entire demeanor changing, “I thought you should know since, apparently, my boys are so tight-lipped.”
I sipped the bitter tea again. “How do you know all these people who are coming?”
“When you’ve been in this business as long as I have, you either make a lot of friends or you end up dead.”
I nodded as if I understood what she was talking about. Which I didn’t—not exactly. Though it made sense that criminals would flock together if they could, making allies, instead of killing each other. How trustworthy were our soon-to-be guests? They were violent people who engaged in unlawful conduct.
Within Penumbra Syndicate there were a few individuals who would probably be happy to dump my body in the woods—especially that witch, Samuel. He constantly glared. Fortunately, I was under the bosses’ protection. But who ruled when crime lords all came together under one roof?
I didn’t voice my concerns, instead I changed the subject. “I can wait. As long as Forrest suffers and dies while I watch, I’ll be happy.”
Mrs. Holt beamed. “You’re beginning to sound like you belong here, Emma. Make me proud and don’t break my boys’ hearts.”
I vigorously shook my head. I wouldn’t dare cross this mama bear. If I did, she would without hesitation, chop me up and dump the pieces in the woods. I was actually surprised she’d invited me down for afternoon tea, considering I had already left her boys once before. This was my second chance, and I wouldn’t mess it up.
I doubted Mrs. Holt gave third chances.
14
EMMA
That evening I was struck with a brilliant idea. I mentally kicked myself for not thinking of it sooner. It could have, potentially, saved me a lot of inner turmoil. Or it could totally backfire. The outcome depended at least somewhat on Cade’s mood.
After asking several guards, I was directed to a gym on the ground floor that I never knew existed. Thumping sounds were nearly drowned out by blaring, heavy beat electronica music. I poked my head inside the open door and my gaze landed on Cade’s scarred, muscular back. He was beating the shit out of a punching bag suspended from the ceiling.
I paused, staring. He wore a pair of shorts, that was all. On bare feet, he bounced up, to and away from the bag as it swung from thick chains. My gaze traveled up his brawny calves and thighs, to a rock-hard ass, then higher to those impressively broad shoulders. Somehow, he seemed even larger half-naked.
I couldn’t help licking my lips. At least lust was there. That wasn’t a foundation for any kind of long-lasting relationship, but it sure didn’t hurt. Hell, it was a great motivation for getting to know each other better. Scars and sour disposition notwithstanding, I could totally get down with this guy. Yummy.
He caught my eye in the mirror and spun to face me. The bag almost whacked him from behind, but he managed to sidestep out of the way. He’d been scowling at the exercise equipment like he loathed it, and I swore the expression deepened as he took me in, blindly reaching for his shirt. The music cut off.
A wave of disappointment shot through me when he pulled the garment over his head and covered those delectable abs and that perfect V that disappeared down the front of his shorts.
“What the fuck do you want?” he asked.
I mentally shook myself back to my intended mission. “I need a favor.”
“What kind of favor?” He eyed me suspiciously.
I braced myself, preparing for his refusal. “I need answers. I’m pretty sure they’re locked inside my head, and you can get them out.” I tapped my skull. He’d already dug around in there, invaded my privacy on multiple occasions. Weirdly, he was the only one I trusted to uncover the truth about what I did to my dad. I just hoped it didn’t hurt so much this time around.
“You want me to search your mind?”
“Yeah. That’s what I’m asking.” I opened my mouth to begin the argument I had planned out, but he cut me off.
“I’ll do it.” He wiped a towel over his sweaty face. “You don’t need to look like a stunned bug.”
My eyes had gone wide in surprise. I narrowed them, glaring at him instead. “Thank you.”
He blinked, as if my simple thanks was unexpected. “What are we looking for exactly?”
And here came the hard part.
“Should we go somewhere else, or at least sit down?” I asked.
“No. Here’s fine.” He stepped closer, then hesitated. Mumbling incoherently, he shook his head, then came to stand in front of me. “What are you looking for?” he asked again.
“I have a memory, but I’m not sure it’s mine.” I slid my sweaty palms down my jeans to dry them. “I should warn you it’s... morbid.”
He huffed. A laugh? “I can deal with morbid.”
“Okay, good.” I licked my dry lips. “It’s from my childhood. I’ve been thinking about it a lot so it’s right at the top of my mind.”
“Good. If you relax and let me in, it won’t hurt so much.” He placed his palms on either side of my head. Fuck, he had big hands. “Close your eyes.”
I did as he said and took a steadying breath. Fae magic coursed through me, soothing at first, then uncomfortable as he dove into my consciousness. I tried to be open and not resist the invasion. I called up the memory that Orion had awakened, replaying it from the beginning. Then I gave over control to Cade. Surrendered to him.
It looked like someone was jostling the camera, cutting to slightly different views, rewind and play forward. The first part was all the same as before. Me and Dad in the living room and him refusing to let me out that night. Mom coming home with Orion cradled on her hip. My lamenting phone call to Claire. My boyfriend breaking up with me via text. The overly dramatic teenage anger, and finally crying myself to sleep.
But this time there was more...
The front door banged shut hard enough to rattle my bedroom windows. I rubbed sleep from my eyes and peered at the clock. It was almost two in the morning. Rolling over, I tried to go back to sleep.
Heavy footsteps thumped up the stairs, went past my door, and down the hallway to where my parents slept. I knew it was my dad from the way he walked. The length of his stride and cadence were as familiar as the sound of his voice.
I was beginning to doze off when loud, angry voices startled me awake. I couldn’t make out what they were saying through the closed doors from the opposite end of the hallway. A yelp was cut off by a loud thud.
My heart racing, I sprang out of bed. Not this again. I opened my door and rushed to the end of the hall. Standing outside their room, I could hear them more clearly.
“You’re drunk.” My mom’s voice sounded thick, like she was crying. “Why’d you have to go out to the bar and get plastered with your friends?”
A slap.
“Don’t talk to me like that, bitch,” my dad slurred. “I’ll cut you.”
I crouched outside their door. A whimper threatened to break free, but I held it in, not wanting to alert them that I was there. I should have returned to my room. That was the smart choice, but I didn’t. I stayed. Another thunk came from inside and I knew, without seeing, that Dad was knocking Mom across the bedroom.
He reminded me of a character from a creepy book I’d read last year. The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Dad was good to Mom most of the time. He acted like a normal dad, too. He liked to read, and even though I hated how he dictated my life, he could be fun. That was until he got drunk. Then the other side came out. When that happened, he was unrecognizable.
The door opened suddenly, and I fell into the room. My dad grabbed me by my hair. I shrieked as he pulled.
“You go stand by your mother.” He shoved me across the room.
Mom wrapped her arms around me, hugging me close, but not before I noticed her bleeding lip and the bruises already forming on one side of her face. She’d heal them with magic in the morning, like always. Sometimes I wondered if Dad remembered nights like these.
I wondered where her wand was now, then spotted it lying on the carpet across the room. He must have taken it away from her and tossed it over there.
He waved one hand toward us. The knife flashed as it caught the light. Normally, he wasn’t armed. My stomach knotted and squeezed. Tonight wasn’t like other nights. Something bad was going to happen.
“You two are worthless bitches. Worthless. I’m going to take my son and leave.”
“No!” Mom released me and moved to block his exit.
He lunged. The knife slashed across her neck. Instantly, a line of blood welled then spilled over onto her white nightshirt. She screamed. He drew his arm back to strike her again.
My vision sharpened. Excruciating pain overtook my body as it convulsed. Dark fur sprouted over my skin, though I remained standing on two legs. My fingernails lengthened and sharpened. My senses became overly sensitive.
As soon as the agony subsided, instinct drove me. I lashed out at this man who looked like my father but couldn’t be—not tonight. My claws raked his back. It was enough to draw his attention away from Mom.
He rounded on me, his normally kind eyes heated with rage. Stumbling forward, he swept the knife through the air inches from my fur. I swiped back and caught him across the arm. The blade fell to the floor. He staggered toward the bedside table, going for his wand. I snarled. Springing at him, I clawed and bit and didn’t let up until the man fell to his knees. He collapsed in a puddle of blood.
Mom’s scream drew my gaze away from his lifeless body. She scrambled away; eyes wide with horror. Climbing to her feet, she raced along the hall to Orion’s room.
I refocused on the man—my dad. Dread and panic rushed over me like a tidal wave. Tilting my head back, I howled. The sound so foreign, so wrong. The agony of loss pierced my chest. I screamed, the sound coming out guttural and raw.
Flames shot from the tips of my claws. Horrified, I waved my hands, trying to make it stop, except the motion only made the fire spread. The blankets caught, then the drapes. It spread like a supernatural inferno eating up the house.
I escaped into the hallway. My body morphed back to its fully human form. Blood smeared my hands. Crimson footprints stained the wood floor. The fire continued to rage around me, growing hotter by the second.
“Mom!” I screamed. “Dad!”
A sob escaped me and suddenly I returned to the present. I was breathing hard, my heart trying to pound out of my chest. My gaze caught on Cade’s grey eyes. They were gentler than I’d ever seen them. He swiped his thumbs across my cheeks, wiping away tears, then let his arms drop.
I staggered backward. “Oh my God. Oh my God.” The memory in its entirety was too much to process. I had killed my father. That was now a fact. Someone had also buried the entire experience in my mind.
Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I was going to pass out. Cade wrapped one giant arm around my waist just as my knees gave way.
“Fuck. Emma, breathe.” He settled us onto the weight bench. Fae magic zapped over my skin, then crawled under it and the panic subsided enough for me to gasp in the air I desperately needed. I took in several lungfuls, leaning against Cade’s side with his arm steadying me. I inhaled his scent and tried to ground myself in the present instead of the horrific past.
“I’m a monster,” I muttered, feeling strangely numb.
“Your father was the monster.”
“No. Only sometimes.” I sniffed.
He rubbed circles on my back. Reactively, I flinched, the wound still raw in my imagination if not in reality.
Cade straightened up and pulled away. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“How can you say that?” I gazed up at him.
“You saved your mother’s life.” His jaw clenched briefly. “At least you had one parent worth saving.” He stood. “Was that all you needed? Did you get your answers?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
He grunted in response and headed for the door. To my surprise, at the threshold, he turned back and asked, “Are you going to be okay?”
I nodded. Turning back around, he disappeared into the hall. How could he be so calm after seeing a memory like that? It appeared to have no effect on him, which led me to believe that he’d witnessed worse—far worse. I shook the thought away.
