I nod. If the situation were different, I’d agree in a heartbeat. Something tells me that the coming weeks are going to be an eye-opening experience and a serious learning curve in an entirely different way from my previous placements. But with Nico’s presence looming over me, I fear it could be anything but fantastic and instead the exact thing nightmares are made of.

  “I’m excited,” I lie, forcing a smile onto my lips.

  I spend the morning in Melissa’s office talking through everything, planning observations, the tutor visits I’ll need, and everything else that will ensure I complete the final few weeks of my teacher training successfully.

  She tells me about her teaching career and how she found herself as Head of English here at Knight’s Ridge and her hope that my placement here could be the first of many. As much as I want to burst her bubble and tell her that I might be a one-off, my reluctance to talk about my connection to this place stopped me from uttering a word.

  All morning, she made sure I always had a coffee to hand, something that only ensured I liked her more. Everything seemed to be going great until she slid a copy of my timetable over her desk as the bell for breaktime rang out around the building both her office and the entire English department resided in.

  It showcased the lessons she expected me to be in with both her and her colleagues, and those I was supposed to take over after a week of observations. But it was none of those which caught my attention. No—that was her final lesson of the day today. A year thirteen class.

  “I’ve arranged for someone to give you the proper tour of the school next period. She’s going to meet you outside my office when the next bell rings, so you’ve got fifteen minutes to visit the bathroom, get some fresh air, run,” she jokes. “Or if you’re hungry, there’s always food in the staff room on a Friday. If we’re fast, Mrs. Witcher might have a slice or two left of her famous coffee and walnut cake.”

  Almost before she’s finished talking, she’s escaping from her office without waiting to see if I’m going to follow. It must be some damn good cake. But no cake is going to make me brave enough to go walking outside while the kids are free.

  The second the door clicks closed behind her, I slump down in the chair, let my head hang back and my eyes close.

  I should be excited. The opportunities this place could open up to me… even having it on my CV could be huge. If I survive it.

  I dig a cereal bar out of my bag and force it down, seeing as my stomach is growling loudly, but I don’t really want it, and I certainly don’t taste it.

  Checking my phone, I find a message from Jodie, checking in to see how my morning is going.

  I send her a quick thumbs up because I don’t have the energy or the mental capacity to really express how I feel right now.

  I swear only three minutes have passed when the shrill ring of the bell cuts through me, making my heart jump into my throat.

  Before long, voices ripple through from the hallway and the door swings open, revealing Melissa and a female student in her uniform. Although, I’m very quick to notice that she’s not exactly wearing it as I would expect.

  The sleeves of her blazer are rolled up around her elbows, her shirt is unbuttoned enough to tease the horny teenage boys I’m sure she’s surrounded by, and her skirt is entirely too short—listen to me sounding like a judgemental adult.

  When Melissa said she’s organised for me to have a student tour, I was expecting to find myself standing beside their most loyal, well-behaved, and polite student. Something tells me that I might just have been gifted the opposite of that.

  I can’t help but smile as I continue to study her.

  She’s me, just a few years younger.

  “Rhea, this is Miss Andrews,” Melissa says, introducing us to each other. “I’m expecting you to take her to every corner of this school and tell her everything you know.”

  “Everything?” Rhea quips, a dark excitement glittering in her eyes.

  “Anything that won’t extend your time out of PE any longer than necessary,” Melissa says with a smirk.

  “She threw the ball at me first,” Rhea states.

  “Not the time, Miss Cirillo,” Melissa warns as all the air rushes out of my lungs.

  Cirillo.

  Rhea Cirillo.

  Theo’s little sister.

  While my heart rate picks up speed, I can’t decide if this is a good thing or not.

  From her ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude and the state of her uniform. I’m thinking it’s probably good. Something tells me she’s not exactly a rule follower, and that she’ll tell me anything I need to know should I ask the right questions.

  “Fine. I just need you to know how unfair all this is. Katia is a bit—”

  “Enough,” Melissa booms, giving me my first glimpse at the hard-arse teacher she hides beneath her soft expression.

  Rhea rolls her eyes, and I have to smother a laugh.

  This girl must be hell to teach.

  I love her already.

  “Come on, Rhea. Before you get in any more trouble, huh?”

  She smirks at me as I try to direct her toward the door.

  “Sure, but I will have my say,” she warns Melissa.

  “I don’t doubt that, Rhea. You just have more important things to do right now.”

  I don’t see Rhea’s reaction from behind, but something tells me there’s another heavy eye roll.

  “So where first?” I ask, hoping to distract her, but she says nothing.

  I follow her silently, wondering what the hell she’s playing at, but I find out the second we spill out of the hallway lined with offices and into what looks like an inside courtyard. It would look more at home in some fancy shopping centre with benches and potted plants than it does a school. This whole place is mind-boggling.

  Finally, Rhea spins around and glares at me with her hands on her hips.

  I steel myself to be dumped on the very first leg of their tour by what I’m sure is one of their most defiant students.

  But when her mouth parts and words spill free, I realise I’m wrong.

  So very wrong.

  “You’re the one who’s fucking Nico,” she blurts.

  My chin drops in shock, firstly at how she even knows that, and secondly, at the volume with which she announces it.

  “Rhea.” It’s meant to come out like a warning, but instead, it just sounds like a plea.

  “Oh don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, Miss Andrews.” She smiles so sweetly at me that I have to fight my groan as I wait to hear what’s next. But then she surprises me. “Not if you don’t want me to. Us girls have to stick together against the men of the Family.”

  My eyes widen, a move she misses as she spins around, ready to take off again.

  “So, gonna be his teacher as well as his fuck buddy?”

  “Oh my God,” I mutter.

  “Don’t worry, contrary to popular belief around these halls, you can trust me. It’s the others you want to watch out for. Always out for themselves. Let that bit of gossip out and they’ll all have a field day with it. Me, however…” She makes a show of zipping her lips and locking them. “Vault.”

  “I appreciate that, Rhea. But how about we focus on what we should be doing?” I suggest.

  “Sure. So, as I’m sure you already figured, this is the English department.” She waves her hands around before pinning me with a judgemental look.

  “What?” I ask hesitantly.

  “English, really?” she asks, looking me up and down.

  I might be wearing what I hoped would become my armour when I bought it yesterday, but I swear I might as well be standing here naked with the way she studies me.

  “It’s like, the most boring subject there is. Well, maybe aside from—”

  “You’re reading the wrong books,” I state confidently.

  Her brow quirks. “I’m reading the books I’m told to. Surely, they’re not the wrong books, Miss?” she teases.

  “For school, they are the right books. But for you to enjoy, not so much. You need to find something that captures your imagination and wraps you up in its world and refuses to let you go.

  “Do you have a favourite TV show?” I ask.

  “Umm… Stranger Things, I guess. I also…” She lowers her voice so no one can overhear her. “I love all those old US teen dramas. But don’t tell anyone.”

  Ideas flicker through my mind.

  “Leave it with me. Before the end of my time here,” which arguably could be incredibly short, “I’ll have you in love with English and reading.”

  “I’d like to see you try,” she taunts.

  “Challenge accepted, Cirillo. Now show me all the places I need to avoid to stop me from running into your cousin.”

  “Are you avoiding just that particular male or all of those connected with him?” she asks as we exit the building.

  “Mostly just him. The others probably won’t care that I’m here.”

  “But you think Nico will have a cow?”

  “Something like that.”

  “You know, it’s highly unlikely that he’ll even show his face. He’s not exactly been… present since Uncle Evan died.”

  Pain rips through my heart as the image of Nico’s dark and haunted eyes from last night come back to me. The things he said, the way he broke right before me, ripped me in two.

  It doesn’t matter how crazy he makes me. When he drops his walls and shows me that kind of vulnerability, I’m like fucking putty for him.

  I just have to pray that he’s too lost in his own head to notice just how weak it makes me. Because the second he realises it, I’m fucked. Beyond fucked.

  “I know,” I mutter. “But he has exams, he’ll be here eventually.”

  Rhea lets out a sad sigh, showing a little of how she’s really feeling right now.

  “It’s okay to be sad, you know. It’s okay to miss him.”

  “I know,” she confesses. “I’m okay, I just hate that everyone I love is suffering. I’ve never seen Dad like he is right now. And Nico. The men in my family have always been larger than life, so to see them hurting…”

  “Things will get better. The pain will lessen.”

  “But things are never going to be the same again. It blows my mind to think that my big brother will be the one in charge of all this one day.”

  “Theo will make a great boss, Rhea. I’ve no doubt.”

  “Oh totally, it’s just a head fuck. He’ll always be the annoying boy who used to hide my Barbies. Sometimes it’s hard to separate that boy from the man, you know?”

  “I don’t have any siblings,” I confess. “Hell, I hardly have any family, so I’m not the person to be talking to about them.”

  “You get it though. No one else does.”

  “There must be other kids here who are a part of the Family.”

  “Yeah, but they’re not the boss’s daughter. Everyone is either threatened by me or jealous of me,” she says sadly.

  “Oh, but you come across so sweet and approachable,” I deadpan.

  “I’m the nicest person in the world. If you deserve it.”

  “I guess I should feel honoured then.”

  “You’re different. You don’t judge me. I don’t think you see me as a little girl like the others do, either.”

  “You should talk to Calli. She’s the one who’ll really understand how you’re feeling.”

  “Can you believe she’s with Da— shit,” she hisses, cutting herself off. When I glance over, I find guilt washing through her features. “I’m not meant to know about all that.”

  “So, how do you?” I ask, genuinely intrigued.

  “May or may not have been eavesdropping on Mum and Dad.”

  “Rhea,” I warn.

  “I know, I know. But it’s the only way I find out what’s going on sometimes.”

  “As long as you keep what you hear to yourself.”

  “Of course. I’m not a moron.”

  “I wasn’t suggesting you were. So,” I say while looking around at the impressive buildings around us. “Where to next?”

  5

  NICO

  “No,” I groan, rolling over and shoving my face into the pillow, squeezing my eyes closed in the hope I can drift back off into my filthy dreams, which are much more preferable than my reality right now.

  I force my brain to take me back to the shower as I railed Bri from behind, fucking her cunt like a savage, listening to her as she screamed out my name, begging me to let her fall for me.

  My cock aches, pressing into my thick memory foam mattress, begging for the release I clearly didn’t get in my slumber.

  I lie there, letting the minutes pass by, focusing on the pounding of my head and the swirling of my stomach.

  Both of them have been my constant friends since that night at the country club. The only things that have never left.

  The same can’t be said for everyone else.

  And I know that’s entirely my fault. I’ve been nothing but a cunt to everyone who’s tried to come and help me. But I can’t help it. Seeing them all getting on with their lives as if nothing has happened is painful. It’s a reminder that someone can leave our lives and be forgotten about in the blink of an eye. I don’t want that. He doesn’t deserve to be forgotten. He was too good for that.

  I want to remember everything.

  Although saying that, while my head is swimming in vodka, that’s not exactly an easy thing to do. And those happy memories, as nice as they might be, rip me in half when I consider that I won’t get any more.

  We had a plan. We always had a plan.

  Dad was going to be there with me as I became a soldier, a capo, and then ultimately took over his position when he decided it was time, and not a second before.

  But now, I don’t have that. And not only am I not ready to take his place, but no one is going to want me to either.

  I’m letting them down. All of them. I’m letting him down.

  A pained sob rips from my throat as I consider what his opinion would be on how I’m dealing with all this and my stomach turns over once more.

  “Oh shit,” I bark, rolling out of bed and stumbling toward the bathroom.

  I hit the tiles beneath the toilet hard, pain searing through my knees and up my thighs as I lean over, purging the poison still lingering in my stomach.

  I heave until there’s nothing left, my stomach empty and aching.

  Falling back, I rest against the wall naked and wipe my forearm across my sweaty head.

  Fuck, I’m a fucking mess.

  It’s almost been two weeks since the funeral, and here I am still drowning like it happened only yesterday.

  Everyone says it’s meant to get easier. But I call bullshit.

  Nothing about my life is getting any easier right now.

  But then, I lift my eyes from the dark tiles beneath me and they lock on my walk-in shower.

  No, those moments in there with Brianna made things easier. Even if they were figments of my imagination.

  Tipping my head back, I close my eyes once more, putting myself back in there with her. Running my tongue along my bottom lip, I can almost taste the sweetness of her blood as I sank my teeth into her thigh, branding her like the fucking cunt that I am. But fuck if it doesn’t get my cock hard just thinking about her walking around, wearing the evidence of who she belongs to. I guess Seb wasn’t entirely insane all those months ago when he carved up Stella’s thigh with his initials.

  Yeah, actually. I can totally see a nice deep NC on Brianna’s inner thigh. The perfect mark to prove to anyone who might try it on with her that she’s owned. And we both know that she likes to play with others.

  Something toxic and bitter fills my empty stomach as I think about her being with another man.

  It’s never really bothered me before. She was just a hookup. One that was good enough to repeat, which is unusual, I’ll admit. But neither of us made any promises, and we certainly never gave up getting our kicks elsewhere. I know for a fact I fucking didn’t.

  But now, the thought of being with anyone else, risking letting anyone else see my pain, is anything but appealing.

  I might not want Bri to see it, but I fear that might just be too late. And even if she hasn’t seen as much as I fear, she knows. She knows everything.

  When I finally heave myself up from the floor and stand in front of the mirror, I’m horrified by what I find staring back at me in the mirror.

  “Jesus, Cirillo.”

  It’s a good job that my rendezvous with my Siren was only a figment of my imagination. There’s no way in hell that she’d actually fuck me when I looked this pathetic.

  I brush my teeth, shave and shower in the hope it somewhat brings me back to life. I have no idea what time it is, but if school is still happening then I at least need to make an effort to show my face.

  Exams are starting… sometime soon, and as much as I might hate the world and everyone in it right now, I can’t bail on them.

  I remember the disappointment on Dad’s face when I royally fucking up my first year in sixth form, forcing me to start over with Theo, Alex, and Seb. He’d be fucking livid if I fucked it up again and used him as an excuse.

  He needs to be my motivation instead.

  Pass these exams, boy. Prove your worth. One day you’ll be standing beside Theo, ruling this fucking city. Prove the doubters wrong. Prove you’ve got what it takes.

  I hear the words clear as day, as if he’s standing right behind me as I walk into my bedroom and rip open my wardrobe to find a clean set of uniform.

  My brows pinch as I stand there staring at the hanging clothes before me and my mind spins.

  I don’t remember getting undressed last night, and I certainly woke up naked.

  Glancing over my shoulder, I find my clothes balled up in my laundry basket.

  I do fucking weird shit when I’m drunk, because they hardly even end up there when I’m sober.

  Shaking my head at my drunken antics, I finally reach for my shirt and trousers and drag them on before swiping my tie that’s folded up on my dresser.

 

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