Trickin', page 31
“You did put a hurtin’ on that plate,” Pauline laughed.
“I did, didn’t I?” Ra’Keeyah laughed too.
“Go on back in the room and lie down for a minute and see if that make you feel any better. I’ll bring you a glass of soda water in there in a few,” Pauline said.
“Okay.” Ra’Keeyah got out from the table and walked out of the kitchen. She grabbed a candy cane off the tree on her way back to the guest room. She could remember her mother always sucking on peppermints for medicinal purposes. She walked into the room, checked her phone again, disappointed that she only had three missed calls all from her mother. She decided she would call her back later. Ra’Keeyah turned her ringer off and lay across the bed. Before long, she had drifted back off to sleep.
Ra’Keeyah woke up to the sound of people talking in the living room. She was excited to hear Brick’s voice, hoping he had come to take her back home with him. But the other voices she couldn’t make out. As crazy as it may seem, it sounded like her mother’s voice. Ra’Keeyah quickly climbed out of the bed and tried to get herself together. She wanted to look presentable when Brick laid eyes on her.
“Ra’Keeyah, can you come in here for a minute?” Pauline called out, once she realized Ra’Keeyah was up and moving.
“Here I come,” she replied before smoothing down her hair. She walked out of the room and down the hall. She was shocked to see Brick, her mother, and Joe all in the same room. The looks on their faces told her that something bad had happened.
“Yes, Miss Pauline?” Ra’Keeyah asked slowly while looking over at Brick for answers.
“Sweetie, I need you to sit down,” Pauline said.
Ra’Keeyah took a seat on the sofa next to Brick. He scooted over and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
“Can somebody tell me what’s goin’ on, please?” Ra’Keeyah asked nervously.
“Baby, they found Shayna’s body this mornin’ at the Holiday Inn,” her mother said.
Ra’Keeyah knew that she was still a little groggy from her nap and all, but she could have sworn her mother just said that they found Shayna’s body at the Holiday Inn. “Say that again,” Ra’Keeyah asked.
“Shayna overdosed on drugs, Ra’Keeyah,” Joe stepped in and said.
“Shayna don’t do no damn drugs,” Ra’Keeyah stood up and vouched for her girl.
“Baby, they found a bottle of prescription pills by the bed,” her mother said.
“Prescription drugs? Shayna didn’t take pills,” Ra’Kee-yah frowned.
“She was on nefazodone,” Joe admitted.
“On what?” Ra’Keeyah asked.
“An antidepressant medication,” he replied.
“Shayna ain’t depressed. What hospital is she in? I wanna go see her so I can ask her what the fuck she takin’ an antidepressant for!” Ra’Keeyah demanded.
“Baby, Shayna is gone,” her mother said carefully.
“Gone? Gone where?” Ra’Keeyah asked, looking around the room at everybody. “I know you ain’t talkin’ about dead?”
Ra’Keeyah’s mother slowly nodded her head yes.
“Yeah, right, y’all playin’,” Ra’Keeyah said as tears filled her eyes.
“It’s all on the news, li’l mama.”
“Oh my God, noooooooo,” Ra’Keeyah screamed.
Brick stood up, pulled Ra’Keeyah into his chest, and wrapped his arms around her. She cried like a newborn baby as the news of her best friend’s death began to set in.
“Why?” she moaned.
Pauline, Joe, and Ra’Keeyah’s mother all cried too as they watched Brick try to soothe Ra’Keeyah. Brick even shed a few tears as he tried to rock her pain away.
She quickly turned her anger toward Joe. “It’s all yo’ fuckin’ fault that she was depressed,” Ra’Keeyah yelled. “If it wasn’t for you, she’d still be here.”
Brick, Pauline, and Ra’Keeyah’s mother grabbed her, trying to calm her down, but it was no use. Ra’Keeyah was madder than a raging bull. “Y’all get the fuck off of me!” Ra’Keeyah screamed, snatching away from everybody as she made her way out of the living room.
“Ra’Keeyah,” her mother called out, but it was no use. She had disappeared into the bathroom.
“I’ll go talk to her,” Brick said, making his way out of the living room and down the hall.
“Yeah, go do that,” Pauline suggested, wiping away her tears.
“Ra’Keeyah,” Brick called out as he tapped lightly on the bathroom door. When she didn’t answer, he opened up the door and walked in. She was sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around the rim of the toilet. “You okay?”
She shook her head no before throwing up everything she had in her stomach, and then some.
Brick grabbed a washcloth out of the linen closet, wet it, and wiped her mouth.
“Come on,” he said helping her off the floor and into the guest bedroom where she lay across the bed and continued crying. Brick didn’t know the right words to say to ease her pain . . . if there were any. All he could do was lay behind her, wrap his arm around her waist, and let her mourn.
It had been two days since the death of her best friend, and Ra’Keeyah had yet to get out of bed, other than to use the bathroom. Brick tried getting her to eat something and even tried getting her out of the house, but she wouldn’t budge. All she wanted to do was lie in the bed with the blinds closed and cry. She wasn’t taking or returning anyone’s phone calls; she just wanted to be left alone.
By day three, Pauline couldn’t take it anymore. “Get up, Ra’Keeyah,” Pauline barged into her guest bedroom with her cleaning bucket and demanded. She started opening up blinds to let sun shine in and even cracked the window to let some of the funk seep out.
“Where am I goin’?” Ra’Keeyah asked, still half-asleep.
“The first place you goin’ is to the shower. Then I’m takin’ you over to your mother’s house ’cuz your little brother has been blowin’ up your phone; he’s worried about you,” Pauline said.
“Jaylen,” Ra’Keeyah smiled halfheartedly.
“Yes, Jaylen,” Pauline replied, snatching blankets and pillows off the bed so they could be washed.
Ra’Keeyah eased out of bed and instantly got light-headed. She grabbed her head and sat back down on the bed.
“That’s because you ain’t ate in three days,” Pauline said. “You go on and get in the shower, and I’ll go fix you somethin’ to eat.”
“Do I have to?” Ra’Keeyah asked.
“Yes, you have to,” Pauline said sternly.
“Okay,” Ra’Keeyah said, standing up again. She grabbed the robe Brick had brought over with the rest of her clothes and headed to the bathroom.
As soon as Pauline heard the shower turn on, she stripped the sheets off Ra’Keeyah’s bed, grabbed the Lysol out her cleaning bucket, and sprayed the bed down. She then put clean linens and blankets on the bed before going to fix Ra’Keeyah something to eat.
After showering and eating a decent meal, Ra’Keeyah felt a little better, even though the food she ate came right back up. Pauline dropped her off over at her mother’s and told her to call her when she was ready to come back home.
Ra’Keeyah’s mother came out to the car to thank Pauline for dropping Ra’Keeyah off. Ra’Keeyah waved good-bye to Pauline and headed into the house.
“It’s no problem. Shit, she needed to get outta the house. She just wastin’ away lyin’ in that damn bed, and I know her tear ducts gotta be dry,” Pauline said.
“I know. I wish there was somethin’ I could do to make her feel better.”
“There is,” Pauline said.
“And what would that be, might I ask?”
“Pray for her. It sho’ helped me when I lost my two boys,” Pauline responded.
“I sure will and thanks again,” Ra’Keeyah’s mother smiled and closed the car door.
Ra’Keeyah played with Jaylen for a few minutes before walking upstairs to her old bedroom. It was still in the same condition she had left it in. She walked over to the closet to make sure her stash was still in place. Seeing that it was, she took a seat on the bed and smiled as she looked at the motorcycle pictures on the wall.
“You okay?” her mother stuck her head in the door and asked, before walking in and taking a seat in the bed.
“I don’t know. Some days I think I am, and other days I don’t know,” Ra’Keeyah admitted.
Ra’Keeyah’s mother placed her hand on top of Ra’Keeyah’s. “You will be ’cuz God gon’ see you through, and I’ll be prayin’ for you.”
Ra’Keeyah looked at her mother like she was crazy. She had never really heard her mom mention God unless she was using His name in vain, let alone praying for someone. “Are you okay, Mom?”
“Yep. I’m just fine. I think we should find a church to join,” her mother suggested.
“Okay, whatever you say,” Ra’Keeyah replied sarcastically.
“Well, I’ma give you a minute to yourself. I’ll be in my room if you need me,” she said standing up.
“Thanks, Mom,” Ra’Keeyah smiled.
“Anytime, baby,” she smiled back before exiting the room.
Ra’Keeyah sat on her bed and just looked around the room as if she were in a foreign place. She glanced over at her dresser and noticed a letter sitting behind her bottle of Juicy Couture. She walked over and picked the letter up that was addressed to her.
Who would be writin’ me, she thought as she tore open the envelope. When she read the first line of the letter her eyes instantly welled up with tears. “Jaylen,” Ra’Keeyah called out.
A few seconds later, Jaylen ran into his sister’s room. “Huh?” he answered.
“When did this letter come?” she questioned.
“Ummm, the other day. Mommy had to use the bathroom real bad so she told me to get the mail, and this one had your name on it so I brought it up here and put it on your dresser,” he replied with a long, drawn out explanation.
“Okay, thanks,” Ra’Keeyah replied.
“You welcome,” he smiled and skipped out of his sister’s room.
Ra’Keeyah sat back on the bed and continued reading her letter.
LisaRaye,
I know, I know, don’t call you that ’cuz LisaRaye don’t got nothin’ on Ra’Keeyah Jaz’mire Jackson (smile). I just wanted to make you smile in your time of mourning. You are mourning over me, right? Anyways, first and foremost, I want to say sorry for puttin’ you through this. I know we’re supposed to get money together until we turn eighty years old, but, Ra’Keeyah, I couldn’t go on livin’ my life pretendin’ I wasn’t hurtin’ on the inside. The hell I went through because of my mom and because I wasn’t strong enough to say “no” even as I got older has always made me feel dirty inside. All the fancy clothes, shoppin’ sprees, and dancin’ for money could never erase my real feelin’s, only put them at bay for a little while. But when I would come down off my high, I would feel even lower than I did.
No one ever looked at me and liked me for me except for you, and I loved you for that. Even when Quiana put me on blast, you didn’t judge me; you embraced me. Every time I slept with a man for money, it was like relivin’ my past over and over, and I could never get the feelin’ of not bein’ good enough out of my mind.
Remember when you tried to warn me about Malcolm? Well, I didn’t listen and karma finally caught up to me. I could never bring myself to tell you he raped me, especially not after everything else you had learned about me. Malcolm rapin’ me was the final straw for me, sis. There is a difference when you’re young and made to do vile and disgustin’ acts by the ones who are supposed to love and protect you. You don’t fully realize this isn’t right. Then when you get older, you choose to do these same acts for money because this is all you know and this is how you can feel in control. But then that false sense of control is taken away by someone, and what do you have left? Nothing.
Key-Key, I realized the way I treated and spoke to Quiana was wrong. I tried to separate myself from the reality that we both had been forced to live the same life. She needed me more than anyone, and in my heart I know I failed her, and when I failed her I failed myself as well. Key-Key, make it right with your mom. You were never cut from the same cloth as us, and I always wished I had the relationship you and your moms have. You gon’ need her now more than ever. Ra’Keeyah, when you think of me please don’t be sad. I want you to smile and know that your girl is finally at peace. So continue gettin’ your money the best way you know how and live yo’ life to the fullest. Don’t let nobody keep you from doin’ that, not even Brick’s sexy ass. Yeah, I called him sexy. You can’t do nothin’ to me ’cuz I’m dead . . . You supposed to be laughin’.
Oh, before I forget, I went by your mom’s one day to see how she was doin’ after she put you out. I told her I had to use the bathroom and I stashed my life savings in your blue Members Only jacket, the one I always hated. I woulda left it at my mom’s house, but they wouldn’t do nothin’ but smoke it up. I left it to you ’cuz I know you gon’ put it to good use. Oh well, sis, I’m bouta’ rest in paradise. Just know I will always be wit’ you in spirit, and that I love you more than life itself, obviously . . . (smile). And please do me a favor. Get yo’ ass a pregnancy test ’cuz yo’ hips are gettin’ a little wide . . . (smile)
Ra’Keeyah was bawling as she folded up the letter, placing it back into the envelope. She wasn’t only crying because her best friend was gone, but also because she was pain and worry free. Ra’Keeyah wiped her tears away, stood up from the bed, and walked over to the dresser, placing the letter in her top drawer. Then she went over to the closet, dug way in the back, and grabbed her Member’s Only jacket and checked the pockets, pulling out two stacks of money. Ra’Keeyah hurried over to her bed and began counting it. She was beyond ecstatic to find Shayna had left her over thirty-eight thousand dollars.
“Where the fuck she get this kinda’ money from?” Ra’Keeyah shook her head and smiled. “That damn girl.” She peeled off ten stacks and walked across the hall to her mother’s room. She would have given her more if it wasn’t for the fact that she’d put her out. With the money she had at Pauline’s, and the stash she had in the closet on top of the money Shayna had left her, Ra’Keeyah would be financially set for a while. She tapped lightly on her mother’s bedroom door.
“Come in,” her mother called out.
Ra’Keeyah walked into her mother’s room and smiled.
“What you smilin’ for?” her mother asked.
“At Shayna,” she replied.
Her mother looked at her like her daughter had lost her mind.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Ra’Keeyah said, walking over to her mother’s bed and laying the money down in front of her.
Her mother sat up and picked up the money. “Where did you get all this money from?” she asked, shocked.
“Don’t ask no questions. Just go out and buy yourself somethin’ nice before you pay any bills,” Ra’Keeyah replied.
“I do need a new purse. I seen this purse at Macy’s that I wanted but couldn’t afford,” her mother said, excited.
“Well, you got enough money to buy a thousand purses. Enjoy yourself, Mommy, life is too short not to.” With that being said, Ra’Keeyah turned and walked away. She stopped in the doorway and turned back around. “Mom, I love you, and I’m sorry for all that I put you through. I spent all my life blamin’ you for my shortcomings and my have-nots, but actually, I had everything a girl could ask for. I had a mother’s love, and that’s more important than anything you can buy at the mall,” Ra’Keeyah said sincerely.
Ra’Keeyah’s mother was touched by the words her daughter had just expressed to her. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she climbed out of bed. She walked over to her daughter and wrapped her arms around her and hugged her for what seemed like eternity.
“I love you too,” her mother said, as the tears steadily flowed.
“Can you drop me back off over at Pauline’s, please? The majority of my dress clothes are over there, and I need to get my outfit ready for Shayna’s funeral tomorrow.”
“I sure will,” her mother said, wiping away the remainder of her tears.
Ra’Keeyah walked back across the hall and into her bedroom. She stuck her money back into its hiding place before heading downstairs.
“Can you come back and play the game wit’ me tomorrow?” Jaylen asked his big sister as they made their way to the car.
“I would love to come over here and beat you at the game,” Ra’Keeyah smiled.
“I’m good, so you betta’ get some practice,” Jaylen laughed.
“Whatever,” Ra’Keeyah laughed too, waving her brother off as they got in the car.
That day Ra’Keeyah discovered that even in death, Shayna still had a huge impact on her life and was forever grateful to have had her as a best friend. Ra’Keeyah knew that eventually she would make new friends, but no one could ever take the place of her girl Shayna.
Chapter Thirty-nine
Ra’Keeyah woke up with a dry mouth and feeling sick to her stomach. She thought about the last line in Shayna’s letter as she headed to the bathroom to shower. For shits and giggles, she decided after the funeral she would go get a pregnancy test for Shayna’s sake. Ra’Keeyah got dressed in an all-black tweed pantsuit with silver buttons going down the front. She accessorized with a couple of silver pieces, not wanting to overdo it. She slicked her growing hair back into a neat ponytail before going into the living room to wait for Brick’s arrival.
Brick walked through Pauline’s door dressed like a million bucks and smelling good enough to eat. He sported a charcoal gray, Sean Jean, double-breasted suit with a light gray shirt. He wore a pair of charcoal and light gray ostrich dress shoes with an ostrich belt to match.
The entire time Ra’Keeyah had been messing around with Brick she’d never seen him look this good before. She’d actually never seen him dressed up. His presence had her turned on.
