Drop the Pink Elephant, page 14
14. Answer: c
If you reply with an insult, you’ve lost the moral high ground. The third answer is a statement of fact, rather than an opinion. While your colleague may regret her words when she sobers up, you must also look her in the eye the next day and be able to hold your head high.
15. Answer: a
If you really want help and it involves sacrifice on your friend’s part, it’s much easier to persuade him face-to-face. Emails can look cold and may be overlooked … and it’s easier to say ‘no’ on the phone.
16. Answer: b
Local newspapers thrive on local stories about local people. They’re likely only to hear about it if you tell them. But they’re short of time and want to get the facts right, so make it easy to understand. However, let them get on with their job and avoid treating them like a child by asking to see their work.
17. Answer: c
Most people (although not all) will welcome the chance to talk and just be listened to. Advice from your perspective may be irrelevant. Your friend may also question where you were when she needed you there for her.
18. Answer: a
‘Gut’ feelings may prove entirely wrong and replying with criticism brings you down to the level of the critic, when you may have been blameless in the first place. The only way to retain the moral high ground is with a quick acknowledgement and a considered reply, based on facts.
19. Answer: c
Qualified apologies are unsatisfactory. Swallow your pride, accept your mistake and apologize.
20. Answer: c
Regret, (I’m sorry I was wrong); Reason (I forgot I had taken the call); and Remedy (I’ve put a pad and pen by the phone for each of us) is the best and quickest way to repair the damage. Remember the Three Rs.
21. Answer: b
Talking behind his back is cowardly and criticizing him in public may give short-term satisfaction but will damage your integrity. Remember to criticize in private and praise in public … and not vice versa.
Scoring: one point for every correct answer
21-16 points: You have great integrity and assert yourself well
15-10 points: Much room for improvement in the honesty and commitment of your words
9-5 points: Re-read this book at the first opportunity
4-0 points: Stay right there. Speak to nobody. I’ll bring you a copy to memorize.
Index
acronyms
adding value
ambiguity
analogies
apologies
as empowerment
giving/accepting
lack of
refusal
right thing to do
Three Rs
as weakness
arrogance
assumptions
audience
knowledge of
level of understanding
perspective
relating to
body language
boredom
commitment
communication
face-to-face
Highway Code principles
improving
knowing the audience
message percentages
confidence
confrontation avoidance
conversation
be positive
impact of words
starting point/hook
take responsibility for words chosen
think more
unprompted negatives
criticism
avoid sarcasm
constructive
dealing with
exercise self-restraint
giving
negative/harmful aspects
in private not public
reactions to
self-criticism
denials
critical/underhand
use of words
expectations
management
negative
positive
setting
failure
false modesty
golf mouth
happiness
humour
avoiding
effective
misplaced
offensive
self-deprecating
I don’t know
I’ll do my best
image creation
knowing the audience
powerful
use of analogy
interviews
jargon
identifying
removing
language
accents
changing
grammar
Queen’s English
lies
listening
asking questions
empathic
failure
good
jumping to conclusions
poor
topping the story
understanding
media
news agenda
in perspective
relevance
use of language
moral high ground
motivation
right way
wrong way
negativeness
no
opportunities
perspective
audience
powerful words
politeness
30-second apology
being reasonable
get-out clause
professional
staying cool
positiveness
after the event
assuming vs checking
expectations
personal
saying yes
Three Rs
praise
benefits
giving
reactions to
receiving
proactiveness
problem solving
Queen’s English
questions
asking
how are you
how shouldexplain
what dowant to say
who amspeaking to
regret, reason, remedy (Three Rs)
apologies
perspective
positiveness
truth
responsibility
sarcasm
success
text messaging
thank you’s
think, talk, act
TLAs (Three Letter Acronyms)
tone of voice
truth
definition
lies
opinions/fact difference
succinctness
Three Rs
visualization
words
choice of
cleverness in
(dis)organized
howlers
humour in
powerful
Queen’s English
selecting
watering down
yes
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Bill McFarlan, Drop the Pink Elephant
