The Orchard, page 23
Dawdi Hezekiah nodded. “Let’s bow our heads and pray for Evan, wherever he might be clear across the world. But he ain’t missin’ to our ever-present Father above.”
They did just that, Dawdi taking the lead, caring for and comforting Dat in that meaningful way. With her head bowed, too, Ellie silently asked God to help them through this grim time, grateful that her Dawdi and Dat were devoted to the Lord—sincere and faithful leaders for the family.
———
A short while later, Ellie watched as Dat and Dawdi Hezekiah hitched up Nelly to the family carriage before hurrying off to see Lydia, Jonah, Rudy, and their spouses. It would be a long and painful day for poor Dat as he retold the staggering news. But because he seemed to have a peacefulness about him, she believed he was wholly trusting God. And yet she sensed a struggle within him, too. Was he plagued with regret at how things were left with Evan before he went off to basic training?
After supper dishes were washed and dried, she donned her coat and warmest scarf. Even in wintry seasons, she’d always found solace and inspiration in the orchard—and divine peace, too. Where God lives, she thought, recalling her childlike perception.
But this twilight, Ellie felt anything but peaceful. It was easy to feel God’s presence during spring’s blossoming and summertime’s harvest. But now? Now, when trees were spindly black sticks against the icy white snow and miserable gray sky, was God still there?
Ellie had a terrible time getting to sleep that night. She tried different positions—on her side, on her back, snuggled close to Sol—but nothing helped. She kept hearing her father telling them that Evan was missing in action, and she tried to comprehend what that really meant for her brother. Did it mean the other men in his unit just didn’t know where he was or what happened to him? Had he been taken? Had Evan run away, maybe?
Over and over, she got bogged down in the trap of imagining what might be. It wasn’t the first time this had happened. What was it about the middle of the night, anyway, when the house was stone still and the bedroom so dark? Why did nighttime cause her mind to wander and even trick her into thinking the worst thoughts about what Evan might be facing—if he was indeed alive?
Carefully, she moved the blankets and quilt back and rolled silently out of bed, fishing around on the cold floor for her slippers. She didn’t want to awaken Sol, hard as he’d worked today—every day. Going to one of the windows and opening the shade slightly, she let the moonlight in.
She lit the lantern and carried it as she tiptoed downstairs to the second floor, making her way to Evan’s room. Mamm had closed it off after his departure. There, Ellie opened the door and set the lantern on the floor, where she sat on the large rag rug she and Mamm had made. She leaned against the side of the bed, and in the stillness of her brother’s room, she cried for her dear, lost twin.
Mamm said it herself early this morning, Ellie recalled. Evan was lost. At the time, she’d wondered if her mother might’ve been referring to Evan’s spiritual state as well as his physical body. Surely Evan wouldn’t have chosen war if he hadn’t been close friends with Jack Herr, or tangled up in the world, dating Cheryl, spending time at the Herr home. Why else would Evan have pushed aside his plan to be baptized and abandoned that most sacred moment in life?
Ellie fought against the urge to be furious with Jack’s family, especially Cheryl. She’d wanted to be kind, even friendly, when Cheryl came into the store. But now she wept angry yet sorrowful tears, letting them slide down her cheeks.
After a time, she rested her head against the mattress, fatigued as she was. Please, God, keep my precious brother alive, she prayed in the flickering lantern light. Wherever he is.
———
Sometime later, Ellie stirred in her sleep and found she was still sitting there on the rag rug. She couldn’t be sure how long she’d been there, but her right leg was tingling with numbness, so it had been more than a short while.
Slowly, the bedroom door opened, and Sol knelt beside her. “Oh, Ellie, I wondered where you’d gone. I rolled over and found ya missin’, so I went lookin’ for you all over the house.” He wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face against her cheek. “Have ya been cryin’?” He kissed her temple and held her close.
“I s’pose today’s news caught up with me,” she whispered, clinging to him.
“I’m surprised ya held it together this long,” he said as he helped her up. Sol reached for the lantern and carried it while holding her hand. “Let’s get ya to bed.”
“I’m sorry for givin’ ya a scare.”
“Nee . . . no need to apologize.”
Together, they made their way up the stairs, and he tucked her in as the sky was beginning to show a semblance of light over the eastern horizon. Sol pulled down the shade and dressed for the day’s work, then said he’d let Mamm know Ellie needed to sleep a while longer.
Ellie gave in to slumber as he left the room.
Two days later, Ellie realized she must pay Cheryl Herr a visit. She should know why Evan hasn’t written, she thought, telling only Sol where she was going with the two-wheeled horse-drawn cart. Ellie had told him all she knew about Evan’s relationship with the young woman.
When she arrived at the Herr home a mile and a half away, a woman answered the back door, and Ellie quickly said who she was. “I’d like to talk with Cheryl if she’s home.”
“Yes, she’s here.” The woman was clad in a brown long-sleeved blouse and a short, tight-fitting vest with a pattern of brown, rust, and tan diamonds over a brown wool A-line skirt. She opened the storm door to Ellie. “Please, come in. I’m Cheryl’s mother, Gladys. May I take your coat and scarf?”
“Denki, but I won’t stay long.”
“Well, have a seat while you wait.” Then she pulled out one of the kitchen chairs for her and said, “I’ll let her know you’re here” before quickly disappearing from sight. Ellie sat down and leaned into the cushiony comfort of the chair, quite different from the hard wooden chairs at home. Across the room, a coppertone stove had a matching hood, and the windows near the table were adorned by two-tiered curtains with a design of apples and oranges. The room was as colorful as any she’d ever seen, overly decorated with equally bright plates hung on the wall.
An artificial ivy draped over the end of the far cupboard. On an apple-red corner table, framed family photos were on display, including one particularly large one of Cheryl in her high school graduation cap and gown. Ellie also noticed a photo of Jack wearing an army uniform.
What if we had a framed photo of Evan like that?
Ellie shook the thought away as she heard footsteps.
Cheryl appeared. “Hi, Ellie.”
“Hullo,” she replied, still feeling frustrated with Cheryl but no longer angry. “Will ya sit with me?”
“Sure.” Cheryl frowned a little as she sat in one of the other kitchen chairs.
In that moment, Ellie knew how Dat must have felt telling her and Mamm the news after the army men left the house. “I thought you should know why Evan hasn’t been writing letters.”
Cheryl blanched white.
“It’s not as bad as that, thank the Good Lord,” Ellie said quickly. “But he is missing in action, so we still believe he may be found. We really don’t know anything more.”
“MIA?” Cheryl’s jaw dropped. “That’s exactly what they said about Jack!” She put her hand over her mouth as a wave of emotion appeared to overtake her.
Jack was listed as MIA, too? Ellie hadn’t known that, and she wasn’t sure what to say now. “It’s hard . . . not knowin’ what’s happened to Evan. Ever so hard.”
Cheryl’s face was all scrunched up, like she was trying not to cry. “I feel sick. I can’t bear to go through this again.”
Ellie felt horrible. “I’m awful sorry to have to give ya such bad news.”
“It’s not your fault.” Tears filled Cheryl’s eyes. “But oh,” she moaned, “it’s happening all over again.”
“We’re prayin’ Evan will be found,” Ellie said. “Can’t do any more than that.”
Cheryl shook her head, then reached over and touched the back of Ellie’s hand. “I’m the one who’s sorry,” she said softly. “You must be terribly worried about your brother.” She paused. “I had no right to . . .”
“We all care for him.”
“You’re right. We do.” Cheryl sighed. “Ugh, I hate this.”
“It’s quite a jolt, I know.”
Cheryl offered her some coffee or tea, but Ellie simply wanted to head home. This visit had thrown her off-balance, and now, having heard Jack had been listed as missing in action, too, she felt more concerned for Evan than ever.
“I would be happy to drive you home,” Cheryl said. “It’s so cold today.”
“Denki, but the horse and cart are waitin’ for me, and it’s not far.” Ellie rose to leave.
“Thanks for coming over. I appreciate it.” Cheryl went with her to the door, but Ellie noticed she didn’t say anything about praying for Evan’s safety. Given the circumstances, she didn’t understand that.
For all the Decembers Ellie remembered, the days prior to Christmas seemed to move along quickly. Not this December. The hours slowed to a crawl, and every afternoon she bundled up and ran down to the mailbox, hoping for word from Evan or the military—anything to say he’d been found safe and sound.
As often as she prayed, Ellie had begun to wonder what would happen if Evan wasn’t found. What if he were a prisoner of war? Or worse. She was especially haunted by Cheryl’s admission that Jack, too, had initially been declared MIA. But by the time the army found Jack, it was too late to save him.
Each time she let her mind wander down that path, she rebuked herself. What Dawdi Hezekiah said after first hearing the news was the right way to think. No need to borrow trouble. Evan was said to be only missing, and that was a powerful hope to cling to.
When Christmas Day finally arrived, all of Ellie’s siblings and their families came to celebrate. Every inch of the kitchen was filled with family members . . . except for Evan. Dat and Dawdi had set up three folding tables to accommodate the children, while a high chair was positioned beside the table, which had every one of its leaves in place.
Several times during the meal, Ellie noticed Sol looking at her from across the table, smiling as if to encourage her. And later that evening, before the two of them privately exchanged gifts, she breathed a prayer asking for strength to make it through till Evan was found. Yet what a struggle.
When Dat and Mamm headed upstairs early, Sol suggested they go and sit in the front room together. Ellie was pleased to have this time alone with her darling, and he made sure she sat to his right on the settee so he could hear her. Then he presented her with a wrapped box. Inside was a blue teapot with white trim and white cups and saucers. Her gift to him was a pair of thermal-insulated work gloves. “I noticed your old ones have seen better days,” she said.
“Practical gifts are best, love. Just what I needed.”
She nodded and thanked him for her lovely gift.
“You were so quiet today.” Sol slipped his arm around her. “I was worried ’bout ya.”
She gave him a smile. “Was remembering earlier Christmases when Evan was home.”
“I thought you were prob’ly missin’ him.” Her husband kissed her cheek.
She nodded but still didn’t want to share what Cheryl had revealed—that Jack had been declared missing, too. Not on Christmas. She hadn’t said anything about it to anyone. There was no need to add to the family’s anxiety. We’re all suffering enough . . . each in our own way.
37
In mid-January, Lyle sat working in the barn office after looking at another land option with Ellie earlier that morning. Sol had remained behind to prune apple trees with the rest of the crew, since all the burned trees had been removed last month. Today’s property had been a disappointment—too far away and too rocky for planting fruit trees.
Lyle recalled Ellie asking him weeks ago why he didn’t write George Stewart in Florida about the property they’d been so fond of. “What’s the use since it’s priced out of reach and he won’t budge?” he’d asked, though it did little to satisfy her.
Ellie had also filled him in on all she was doing to help Sol learn the key managerial duties for the orchard, including selecting the best varieties of saplings for the future replanting to be done late in the summer. She’d also set up meetings to introduce Sol to the local buyers, as well as to contacts at the Bird-in-Hand Farmers Market and Central Market in downtown Lancaster. Thankfully, handling the accounting ledger seemed to come easy for Sol, she’d said, seeming rightfully proud of her husband.
Together, they’re an ideal team, Lyle thought.
Lyle made his way across the yard to visit Daed later that afternoon. Once inside, he removed his gloves, hat, and coat, then sat down on the sofa. “Thought I’d see how you’re doin’,” he said, rubbing his hands together near the heater stove. The January air was even colder than it had been that morning.
“Well, ya know, every day there’s no more news ’bout Evan,” Daed said out of the blue, “is a day for hope. ’Least that’s how I see it.”
“Sometimes hope’s all we’ve got.” Anymore, Lyle felt like he was holding his breath. “You an’ I both know missing in action usually means the worst. I’m sure most of the family believes Evan’s been killed, left behind enemy lines somewhere. But like you, I prefer to believe he’s alive till we hear otherwise.”
Daed leaned forward, his long beard touching his knees. “It could be he’s even in hiding for safety from the enemy.”
Lyle took that in, still feeling heavyhearted. “No matter what, I can always count on your listenin’ ear, Daed.”
His father’s eyes searched his. “There’ll come a day when you and I can’t discuss things any longer, son.” He glanced at the ceiling. “I’ll be gone to Gloryland.”
Nodding slowly, Lyle leaned back and sighed, thankful for each and every day he and his father had together. A wondrous gift, indeed.
Toward the end of January, Ellie took matters into her own hands. She went to talk to George Stewart’s daughter, since she was the one who’d told Dat the price of the land wasn’t negotiable. She asked the young woman politely if the land was still available and was told it was. Then, bravely, she asked for her father’s mailing address in Florida. That night, unbeknown to Dat, she wrote a letter to the man. Even if there was little chance of a reply, she felt she should do this. What do I have to lose?
Dear Mr. Stewart,
You don’t know me, but I spoke with your daughter today about the acreage up for sale. My father, Lyle Hostetler, is an orchardist, and he’s interested in your land. But our family’s had quite a year. . . .
Flurries were falling when Ellie’s sister-in-law Priscilla arrived after breakfast the next morning, bringing some of her own recipes for Ellie’s recipe box. While Ellie wouldn’t think of saying it, she wondered what it would be like to be the only cook in Mamm’s current kitchen. Come spring, Sol and I will be in charge of this big farmhouse. How will it be, just the two of us?
With Dat helping oversee the construction of the new addition, Ellie had been quite occupied with the business side of the orchard, so she was thankful when Priscilla and Mamm got busy making several loaves of bread and some pies. Ellie suspected Priscilla might be expecting their fifth child, though she hadn’t voiced it. It wasn’t their way to talk about a pregnancy . . . mentioned only very privately to adult sisters or mother.
And thinking about this, she wondered how her brother Rudy—eight years old at the time—had reacted to the surprise of twin babies when she and Evan were born. They were the only set of twins on both sides of the family.
Who could’ve known how very different Evan and I would become?
On the first day of February, Ellie smiled to see a letter from Leah in the mailbox. Leaning into the cold wind, she hurried up the long lane with Shadow at her side—Sol’s father’s wedding gift to him. Shadow scurried out to the barn, where it was warmer, as Ellie made her way inside the house. She stomped her boots on the rug in the kitchen hallway, then turned into the utility room and hung up her coat and scarf before blowing her warm breath on her icy hands. Should’ve worn my mittens.
Entering the kitchen, where Mamm was browning sausage for tonight’s chili soup, Ellie breathed in the scent of savory seasonings—onion, garlic, and chili powder. A pan of golden cornbread cooled on the counter.
She held up the envelope. “Do I have time to read Leah’s letter, or do ya need more help with supper?”
“Everything’s in the chili pot just waitin’ for the sausage. So go ahead, Ellie.”
She went into the front room and curled up on one of the comfortable reading chairs in the corner. Because of the heavy gray clouds, she held the letter up toward the window, not bothering to light a lantern.
Dear Ellie,
I’ve been thinking of you and your family and praying for some word about Evan. It’s good that Sol’s so caring, especially during this troubling time for you. I miss both of you so much!
Did I tell you that Carolyn has met someone? Roger is a young widower her age who works at the post office. She’s been buying more stamps than ever before! I can only guess what will come of their growing friendship, but if it’s worth her talking about him, she must be interested. That’s all I know, but I’ll keep you posted.
Ellie was suddenly excited. If Carolyn gets married again, then Leah can return home. What good news!
Now, as you know, Reuben’s been courting me, and we’re really fond of each other. In fact, he’s proposed marriage, and we’re looking to wed in November. Honestly, I’ve never been this happy, Ellie. You’re the first I’ve written about it, and as soon as I finish this letter, I’ll write to my parents and to Sol, then mail all three letters at once. Hopefully, they’ll all receive them on the same day.
