The Beginning, page 15
Susie took her still-frail mother over to visit Ella Mae. She waited in the carriage, cross-stitching, to give Mamma and her friend some time alone. After an hour or more of working her smooth stitches, Susie saw Ella Mae’s screen door swing open, and Mamma stepped out. Setting aside her stitching, Susie got out of the carriage to make her way up the walkway, her attention on Ella Mae’s little white porch, which was decked out with its familiar potted red geraniums, already bright and flourishing.
Susie walked up the steps and offered her arm, but Mamma stood there waiting for Ella Mae to step outside, too.
“It’s delightful to see ya, dearie,” Ella Mae said to Susie as she came out, a twinkle in her eyes.
Susie smiled, glad to see her. “I hope you and Mamma had a pleasant chat.”
“Oh, we did.” Ella Mae turned to grin at Mamma. “We certainly did.”
“Jah,” Mamma said. “I’ve told Ella Mae about Allen’s invitation, and I’m thinkin’ it’d be wise to stay put here for the summer.”
Susie glanced at Ella Mae, who must have had something to do with this decision.
“I’ll go to Missouri when I’m stronger,” Mamma continued, and Ella Mae’s head bobbed.
“September’s actually a better time to travel.” Ella Mae’s small voice sounded encouraging and sweet.
Feeling torn about this news, Susie said, “Well, Britta will be glad if you’re here for her fifteenth birthday.” At that, she noticed the two women exchange quick looks, and it made her wonder. Offering her arm again to Mamma, this time they walked down the few stairs together, Mamma leaning hard on her.
“Denki for the visit, Ella Mae,” Susie called over her shoulder.
“Take plenty of your herbal syrup, Aquilla,” said Ella Mae. “And let your girls help ya however they can.”
Will that be enough to get Mamma through the summer? Susie worried.
The heat and humidity of early July made being outdoors plain miserable for Britta. Even so, she had been looking forward to attending a small gathering over at Hazel’s neighbors’ farm, home to the Lantz family and newly widowed Frona Glick. She was excited that Hazel and Cousin Marnie would be there, as well.
Susie, however, had quit attending any gatherings, including the Singings, when Mamma had fallen so ill last winter.
As Susie drove her over in the buggy that Monday evening, Britta remarked, “I wish you could come, too, Susie. I feel strange bein’ the one to represent our family when I’m the youngest.”
“Oh, I don’t mind stayin’ with Mamma. Besides, you’re as shy as a fawn, so it’ll be nice for ya to do something without your big sister hovering, ’specially so near your birthday.”
“I’ve never felt that way.” Britta paused and looked at her with compassion. “I’ve heard Mamma and Polly encouraging you to date here lately, but how are ya supposed to make that happen if ya don’t go to Singings and whatnot?”
“Well, no sense worrying ’bout me. You just have a nice time bringing cheer to Frona tonight,” Susie replied. “Do ya have someone to bring ya home?”
“Oh, I’ll find someone,” Britta said, knowing from experience that Susie wouldn’t leave Mamma alone. She truly hoped Mamma wouldn’t be sickly from now on. Or worse, succumb to her frail condition.
Insects fluttered and tapped against the carriage windshield while Britta tried to relax in the front seat next to Susie. Remnants of pink-tinged clouds were still visible in the west as the sun made its steady descent. Not far away, the Lantzes’ farmhouse came into view.
Brambles continued her rhythmic trot, and Britta tried to imagine what it might be like a year from this July, once she was finally sixteen and attending her first-ever youth Singing. What would it be like to walk into the haymow and sit with the girls at the long table Susie had so often described, joining her own voice with the others in song? Hazel would be there to welcome her, Britta was certain. Turning sixteen would also mean being permitted to meet potential boyfriends, which could someday lead to courting.
And closer to hearing Mamma tell me about my roots, she thought.
Contemplating this, Britta thought again of Susie, always at home with Mamma. Would Mamma’s health keep Susie from ever having a serious beau and a family of her own someday? Susie hadn’t gone out with anyone since Del Petersheim, and the letters from Sugar Valley had ceased a few months ago.
My poor sister has no prospects for marriage.
Outside the Lantzes’ spacious farmhouse, Britta spotted Hazel and Cousin Marnie waiting for her. Both were dressed in subdued colors—dark brown and gray.
“I’m so glad you came,” Marnie said with a smile.
“Got your singin’ voice ready?” Hazel asked.
“I’ll do my best,” Britta replied, seeing widow Frona Glick already seated, all in black.
The three took their seats with a few other women on one side of the front room, much like at a Preaching service. The men and boys sat on the opposite side. Only about thirty were there.
Someone blew a pitch pipe for the first song, “Jesus, Lover of My Soul,” and the men began to sing the first verse with fervor.
The music was so inspiring, Britta got goose pimples on her arms and could hardly wait for the chorus. The song raised her spirits, even though she wasn’t feeling blue, really—more tentative than anything.
The next song was “Love Will Bring Us All Together,” and Roy Lantz’s father instructed them to take turns yet again, with the men singing first, followed by the women.
At that moment, she saw Roy himself looking her way. My goodness, he’s even smiling at me! She must have turned several shades of purple, yet she steeled her nerves . . . and smiled back.
Glancing away, Britta considered the fact that she was too young to court, and here she was already smiling back at a fellow. It certainly seemed like good-looking Roy Lantz was watching her, right in the middle of this beautiful and spirited song.
After a dozen or more songs, the group concluded their special singing and mingled as family members took turns talking to Roy’s grandmother, who shook each person’s hand and thanked them for coming. Eventually, Hazel said good-bye to Britta and Marnie to head home on foot.
Britta, however, stayed around to talk to Cousin Marnie, glad to have this opportunity, since she rarely saw her when Susie and Verena weren’t along.
“Is Susie busy tonight?” Marnie said, slightly frowning.
Britta nodded her head. “At home with Mamma.”
“Poor Aendi Aquilla . . . I wish somethin’ could be done to help her.”
“Jah, it’s so hard to see her struggle.”
“Has she gone to the Amish doctor?”
“Mamma won’t go to him or any sort of medical doctor, either.”
“What about an herbalist?” Marnie suggested. “My Mamma sees one now and then over in Ronks. I could give ya her number, if it’d help.”
“That’s kind of you.” Britta wanted to talk more privately with Marnie. “Will ya walk with me out to the porch?” she asked.
They headed through the kitchen and the back screen porch, where rows of coats on wooden pegs hung in a line. Then they stepped outside, the sky alight with stars.
“What’s on your mind?”
Britta felt a little bashful. “Have you ever heard anything ’bout my birth mother?”
Marnie shook her head. “Verena said you asked her about this once a long time ago. I didn’t realize you were still interested.”
“Well, I’m just tryin’ to piece things together.” In case Mamma can’t, she thought solemnly.
“Surely your Mamma knows about it.”
“I hate to bother her, considerin’ her health,” Britta said, and it was true . . . for the most part.
“Would ya want me to poke around, see what I can find out?”
“Better not. Just keep the fact I asked ’tween us, all right?” Britta felt nervous at the thought of Marnie doing any sniffing around. What if Mamma found out?
Right then, Roy opened the screen door and walked out with two of his cousins.
Once the fellas left to head toward the barn, Marnie said, her voice hushed, “Maybe ya didn’t notice, but Roy kept lookin’ over at ya tonight.”
Britta felt her face warm. She’d noticed, all right, just as she’d noticed Roy at other times. Secretly she wondered if he might ask her out once she was old enough. Another whole year. It felt so far away.
Marnie continued, “Ya probably know he’s already sixteen, but as far as I know, Roy hasn’t asked a single girl out since he started goin’ to Singings a few months ago.”
Britta found this interesting. “Wonder why he hasn’t.”
Marnie laughed softly, covering her mouth with her hand. “Why do ya think?”
“Uh, let’s not get the cart before the horse,” Britta said, suddenly embarrassed.
“Well, ya never know—things can happen quickly sometimes.” Marnie went on to mention how she and Jerome had become good friends right away. “For a long while, he just took me home after Singings and other activities, not really pushing for a date or anything more. We’re still gut friends, of course, but here lately, he’s been holdin’ my hand. So things are changing.”
“I s’pose it would be nice to date your friend.” Britta thought of Susie and Obie, and it made her sad to think how they’d drifted apart.
“Mamma says it’s the best way,” Marnie said. “’Cause later in life, after your children are married and gone, you still have your wunnerbaar-gut friend to grow old with.”
Britta caught herself nodding in agreement. “Poor Mamma, losin’ her husband before she could enjoy that time with him after Susie and I are grown and gone.”
Marnie smiled kindly. “Do ya believe Susie will ever marry?” she whispered.
“I hope so.”
“Do ya think she feels responsible for your Mamma, since Allen and Sarah moved away? And maybe because of what happened to Eli . . . and Onkel Caleb, too?”
Britta pondered this, unwilling to share about Susie’s and her conversation on the buggy ride over.
“Ach, don’t tell her I said that,” Marnie added suddenly.
“Then we best not talk behind her back.” Britta said it with a smile, meaning it.
CHAPTER
25
Cousin Marnie said good-bye to Britta the minute Jerome Yoder showed up in his courting carriage. It was then that Britta realized she’d waited too long to get a ride home, although talking with Marnie had been very nice.
Britta made her way down the long walkway, aware of how mild the evening was now as a soft breeze cooled her brow.
Walking back from the barn was Roy, who pushed his hands into his trouser pockets. His gaze glided up, and she knew he’d spotted her.
Her stomach clenched, her mouth as dry as yarn.
“Hullo, Britta,” he said. “Did ya enjoy all the songs?”
She bobbed her head shyly. “I hope it cheered up your Mammi Glick.”
“No question ’bout that.” Roy took a step closer. “Say, you’re not walkin’ home alone, are ya?”
“Jah.”
“Well then, let me take ya right quick,” Roy said. “Dat’s carriage is already hitched up.”
Surprised yet pleased, she wasn’t sure what to say, but she found herself falling into step with Roy as they walked toward the parked family buggy. Self-conscious, she recalled Marnie’s comments about Roy not dating anyone yet, months into his Rumschpringe.
“Careful getting in.” Roy offered his hand.
“Denki.” She was thankful the night kept him from seeing the blush that heated her face at his touch. As she got settled into the buggy with its dashboard of switches for the side and back lights, he walked around to the driver’s side. “Really, I could’ve walked,” she said when he reached for the driving lines.
He glanced at her. “I don’t mind.”
She immediately felt shy, though she managed to ask, “What songs did ya like best tonight?”
As he steered the horse and carriage out of the driveway and into the turnaround, then toward the road, Roy named off several, including “Shall We Gather at the River.”
Britta hoped he’d do all the talking, though she assumed that might not be what he was hoping for. And she thought again of his kindness in driving her tonight.
“Do you have a favorite, Britta?” he asked, shaking her out of her musings.
“‘What a Friend We Have in Jesus.’”
“Mammi Glick likes that one, too. In fact, she sings it whenever she feels the saddest. Since Dawdi died . . . well, she’s sung that one a lot. Says it’s a source of comfort.” Roy went on to share that his grandmother was a strong believer. “She likes to tell ’bout bein’ a young schoolteacher, right out of eighth grade, and feelin’ mighty timid. But with God’s help, she grew into her role as a teacher. ‘Like anything else,’ she says, ‘ya step into it by faith and learn as ya go.’”
“Sounds like a wise woman, for sure,” Britta replied. She was glad Roy was so laid-back and kind; she enjoyed spending even this short amount of time with him. Pondering that, she realized with a start, This is my very first ride alone with a fella!
Susie decided to wait up for Britta, just as Mamma had often stayed up for her. She hoped her sister had gotten over her nerves once she was with Hazel and Cousin Marnie, both of whom were more outgoing.
A few minutes later, Susie heard a buggy come down the road and come to a stop in front of the house. Marnie must’ve brought her home, Susie thought, slipping on her cotton robe.
It wasn’t long before she heard Britta’s quick footsteps on the stairs, and Susie hoped she’d want to talk.
Stepping into the hallway, she saw Britta, all smiles. “By the looks of you, I’m guessin’ you enjoyed tonight.”
Britta nodded and quickly followed Susie into her room. “It was so special, really. Maybe a bit like what heaven will be like.” She went on to tell about the various people who’d come to cheer up Frona. “And you’ll never guess who brought me home.”
“Not Marnie?”
Britta’s eyes shone. “Roy Lantz . . . but don’t tell Mamma,” she added softly. “He didn’t want me to walk home by myself.”
“Well, everyone knows Roy’s a fine young man. Devout too. He’s already taking baptismal classes to join church this September.”
Britta smiled and glanced down for a moment. “He’s so nice, Susie.” Pausing, she looked at the kerosene lamp on Susie’s bedside table. “’Tween you and me, I think he likes me. Marnie said so, too, but ’course, even if he wants to, I won’t be able to date for another whole year.” She sighed. “Seems like all I do is wait.”
“You’ll have plenty to keep ya busy between now and then,” Susie said, going to the dresser and getting her brush. “Just trust the Lord to give ya the patience till that time comes. . . . He’ll never lead you astray.”
Britta nodded. “I’ll do my best. Gut Nacht, Schweschder,” she added, a little more shyly now. “I enjoyed our talk.”
“So did I. And I’m glad you had such a pleasant evening.” Susie watched her sister head across the hall to her own room, curious about Roy’s apparent interest.
Mamma already had eggs sizzling in her cast-iron skillet when Susie hurried into the kitchen the next morning. “You’re an early bird,” Susie said, opening the apron drawer, pulling out a white half apron, and tying it around her waist.
“I heard yous up talkin’ last night,” Mamma said, seeming livelier today. “Did your sister enjoy bein’ at the Lantzes’? I hope she was an encouragement to their family during this hard time.”
“Maybe Britta will tell you ’bout it. She’ll be down soon.” Susie glanced over her shoulder.
Mamma nodded. “Eggs an’ bacon’ll be ready shortly.”
A few minutes later, Britta came into the kitchen, wearing a yellow dress and matching cape and apron.
Like a ray of sunshine, Susie thought, noting how cheerful her sister seemed and recalling their sisterly talk last night.
“Was it a nice turnout for Frona?” Mamma asked as she dished up the eggs and bacon onto each of their plates.
Britta said it was and went to make the toast. She poured some coffee for herself and Susie while waiting for the toast and remarked about some of the same things she’d told Susie last night, but left out Roy’s name or how she got home.
Wednesday morning, Susie stared at the slant of sunlight falling across the counter in their little shop, thankful for this moment to reflect on Britta’s noticeably more joyful countenance since Monday evening. If she wasn’t mistaken, her little sister had the start of a crush on Roy Lantz, and it just might be the answer to Susie’s prayers for Britta’s “running-around” time, starting next year. Rumschpringe was for pairing up and meeting fellows in the church district, but for some, it was also a time to dip a toe into the outside world. Given Britta’s interest in her adoption, Susie had worried this time could also lead Britta to go in search of her biological family, potentially leading her away from the Amish church and the People. Her birth mother was English, after all. . . .
Susie considered her family’s losses. For her and Mamma, Britta’s going outside the Plain community to search for her family roots could be a sort of loss. Not on the same level of sorrow as Dat’s or Eli’s passing, of course. Still, it troubled Susie whenever her sister started asking questions about her past.
CHAPTER
26
Saturday evening, after a busy day at market, Susie was sweeping the back porch when Verena came by on her scooter and parked it at the end of the walkway. Glad to see her, Susie waved and went to meet her.
“Poor cousin! Aren’t you all sweaty,” Susie said, motioning Verena to go with her to the shade of the porch. “I’ll get you a cold drink,” she offered and hurried inside.
When she returned, Verena was seated on one of the porch chairs and fanning herself with the tail of her long black apron. She smiled, accepted the iced tea, and took several long drinks before continuing the fanning. “Gut thing I didn’t come over earlier,” she said as she wiped her face with a hankie. “Awful hot today.”
