Unforgettable, page 19
“No, Gavin.”
“Yes. Don’t you see, this is something I have to do?”
With large, troubled eyes, she searched his gaze. Eventually she begged, “Hurry?”
He nodded but didn’t move until she disappeared down the hallway.
The instant Gavin walked back into the room, Wesley stepped into his path. The two men, best friends and business partners, stared at each other as if they were strangers.
Wesley broke the oppressive silence when he said, “I never expected you to do something like this. I trusted you around my family. I even encouraged her to work for you. Tell me, do you actually expect me to stand back and let you use her?”
“Use her?” Gavin glared at the other man. “You have no idea what’s going on between the two of us, or how we feel about each other.”
Ralph stepped between them. “It hurts because we trusted you.”
“You could have fooled me. I don’t see any trust.”
Wesley demanded, “What do you want from her? Her body or her heart? You won’t get one without the other. She’s not that kind of woman. I’m warning you, Mathis, to leave her the hell alone.”
Gavin chose to ask his own question. “What have I done other than care about her?”
“All I want to know is one damn thing. Are you planning on marrying her?” Devin interjected.
Taken aback, but not the least bit surprised, Gavin said, “You know how I feel about marriage.”
It was Ralph who insisted, “Anna deserves more than a few months of great sex. She deserves to have a home and family of her own.”
“Enough.” Lester held up his hand. He went over and looked Gavin in the eye. “I love you like family but I won’t accept this. Anna is precious to all of us. I’ve raised my boys to always look out for her. That won’t change. We all know that you and Anna are consenting adults. No one here is denying that. This decision is between the two of you, but don’t expect anyone here to sit back quietly and accept it. If you want her, then marry her. Short of that, leave her alone. I’d rather see her with hurt feelings than have her spirit crushed and heart broken once you’ve moved on.”
Gavin’s eyes were burning from suppressed tears when he candidly admitted, “I can’t walk away from her as if what we feel for each other doesn’t matter. Believe me, I have tried to stay away from Anna.” He looked at each man in turn before he quietly said, “You’re the ones hurting her, not me. I have always been straight with her. Know this, you will be sorry if you make her choose between us. Don’t let it come to that.”
Anna went in search of her mother. She found her in the kitchen making coffee.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Donna asked.
Brushing away tears Anna hissed, “Ask my muleheaded father, brothers, and cousin. They ganged up on Gavin. They actually told him that if he’s not interested in marriage, then to leave me alone.”
“What? How did that happen?”
“When Wesley and Devin came out of the family room, they saw Gavin and me kissing in the hallway. Wesley and Gavin started arguing, then Daddy and Ralph joined in. I’m surprised you didn’t hear them. Mama, they actually told me to stay out of it, as if it’s not my life they were talking about. How could they?”
“Oh no. Precious, I’m so sorry. Maybe if I—”
“No, Mama,” Anna interrupted. “How could they embarrass me like that? They even had the gall to accuse Gavin of keeping our involvement a secret. That was my idea, not his.” She fought to hold back a sob.
“Calm down.” Donna came over and gave her a hug. “You don’t want Gavin to see you upset by this.”
Anna nodded. “I know.” She took in deep, calming breaths in hopes of getting a handle on her emotions. “It’s my life and no one can live it for me. No one, no matter how well-meaning they are.”
“That’s right.” Donna sighed. “I’ve got to try and talk some sense into them.”
“Please, Mama, don’t even try.” Anna tucked several locks behind her ear. “I have to go get Kyle. We’re leaving.”
“You can’t leave now.”
“We have to. Kyle is going to be so disappointed that he can’t stay over the weekend.”
“Where is Kyle? Didn’t you—” Gavin interrupted, his jaw taut with anger and disappointment.
“He’s playing video games with Wayne in his room. Surely he can stay?” Donna pleaded. “They have been looking forward to this visit for weeks. Wayne has made so many plans for them.”
Gavin said wearily, “I know, Donna. But after what’s been said I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave him.”
“Well, I do.” Donna insisted. “Regardless of what was said between you and the others, Kyle is more than welcome to stay. It’s not fair to spoil their plans.”
“Mama’s right, Gavin. Both of the boys have been looking forward to spending time together.” Anna touched his arm. “Kyle was so excited this morning. This is his first sleepover.”
Gavin looked from one woman to the other. Finally he nodded. “If you’re sure. You’ll call me if there is a problem?”
Donna reached up and kissed his cheek. “I will take good care of him. And Gavin”—she paused—“why don’t we all give this matter some time? The men will come around. Besides, nothing has to be settled tonight.”
Gavin nodded and then smiled. He took Anna’s coat out of her hands and helped her into it. He grabbed his own suede jacket from the hook near the door. “Ready?”
Anna forced a smile. “Yes, I am.”
She paused to kiss her mother’s cheek and accept the reassuring hug her mother offered before she let Gavin usher her out the back door. They were silent as Gavin walked her to her car.
It was Anna who spoke first. “Honey, I’m so sorry. You were—”
Gavin pressed a finger against her soft, red-tinted lips. “You have no reason to apologize. I shouldn’t have started something I couldn’t finish.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
He shook his head. “We need to talk. I’ll follow you back to your place.”
After she nodded her agreement, he waited as she activated the keyless entry, then held the door for her. She slid behind the steering wheel. Gavin reached past her and secured her seat belt.
“Drive safely. I’ll be right behind you.” He locked and then closed her door before jogging to his own car.
Anna forced herself to concentrate on her driving rather than the horrible scene at her parents’. It was much worse than anything she could have imagined. Was it possible to be more embarrassed? Her father couldn’t see that she wasn’t his little girl anymore, while her brothers and her cousin were worse.
She wouldn’t blame Gavin if he decided he didn’t want to be involved with her. How could she? She might have to accept that he might no longer feel she was worth the effort. She bit her bottom lip to hold back a tremor. Nothing she could do or say could make up for what her family had just put him through.
She was still shaking from hurt, rage, and worry by the time she met Gavin in her driveway. Thank goodness she had her tears under control. Letting go like a leaky faucet couldn’t take back what had already been said.
He was tight-lipped as they walked up to her front porch. She tensed even more as if she was waiting for the other shoe to fall. Nothing was said until they were inside the house with the door locked behind them. Gavin hung her jacket along with his in the small coat closet in her tiny foyer.
She was the one to admit, “I still can’t believe it. You would think I was the same age as Wayne. How could they?”
Gavin went to her and just held her.
“I’m surprised you even want to hold me,” she whispered against his shoulder.
“Let it go.” He soothed a caressing hand down her back. “Besides, I can’t think of anything I want more than to be right here with you.”
Anna tilted her head back until she could look into his face. Despite the fact that the foyer was lit only by a single low-burning bulb, she was able to see his drawn features. Her family had put him through hell.
He didn’t deserve to go from friend to enemy in a single evening. Nor did he deserve their anger and mistrust. All of it was her fault, and although she had seen it coming, she had been unable to stop it.
She lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. Her voice was barely above a whisper when she said, “Wesley didn’t mean all the things he said. He just let his anger get the better of him.”
Gavin said gruffly, “It doesn’t matter. Wes made his decision and I’ve made mine.” His arms tightened around her.
Anna heard the pain in his voice and knew there was nothing she could say to erase it. “Maybe in a day or so, after he has had time to—”
“If I were you, I wouldn’t put any cash on it.” His sarcasm wasn’t lost on her.
She sighed as she slowly entered the living room, stopping to turn on a Tiffany-style torchère lamp. “Too bad I didn’t punch my big brother in his oversize mouth,” she mumbled.
Why hadn’t Wesley been on her side on this? If he had been, then surely she could have persuaded Ralph and Devin around to her way of thinking.
“Did you say something?” Gavin asked from just over her shoulder.
“Nothing important. Would you care for something?” Feeling more at ease in the role of hostess, she offered, “I could make some—”
“You don’t have to entertain me, sweetheart.”
“Sorry. What did they say to you after I left?”
“Believe me when I say you really don’t want to know.”
Her legs were so shaky that she sank down on the edge of the sofa, certain he was right. “Tell me anyway.” She patted the cushion beside her.
“After Wes insisted on wedding bells, your dad at least, was a bit more reasonable. He acknowledged that we’re consenting adults. But he let me know he’s not prepared to sit quietly and let me take advantage of you. He’d rather see your feelings hurt now than have you be brokenhearted later.”
Anna covered her face with her hands. Truly, she didn’t want to hear more. Was it possible to feel any more embarrassed by all this? Somehow she doubted it.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” he asked tenderly.
She dropped her hand and forced her chin up. “I have to be. This feels like something out of a very bad movie. At least this didn’t spoil Kyle and Wayne’s plans for a long weekend. They have been looking forward to it for weeks.”
“Yes. You and your mom are right. Kyle would have never forgiven me if I had dragged him home with me.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “At least your mother seemed to be all right with us being involved.”
Anna smiled. “Yes, she is. She knew something was going on with me. I told her earlier, while we were preparing dinner. Like you, she wasn’t pleased by the secrecy, but she was willing to give us a chance.”
She watched him push to his feet.
She whispered, “It’s my fault. If I hadn’t leaned toward you…”
He came back to her, dropping down beside her, and took her hands into his bigger one. “We both wanted that kiss. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Anna, they were bound to find out about us. Sooner or later one of us was going to slip up. I can’t tell you just how many times I’ve almost told Wes myself. The only thing that held me back was the promise I made to you.”
He pressed a kiss into the warm center of her palm. “It’s not like I didn’t know how protective Wes is of you. It just never occurred to me that he’d believe I’d deliberately use you. The man I thought was my friend all these years evidently doesn’t even know me.” The bitterness in his voice was unmistakable.
“No, please, don’t think that. You were angry, and so was Wesley. Once things settle down, the two of you will talk calmly.”
“All that’s needed to be said has been said. Tell me, do you agree with Wes? Do you think that I’m out to take advantage of you, to hurt you?”
“Absolutely not. I know better.” She was pleased to see the relief in his dark eyes. There was so much more that needed to be said, only she didn’t know how to say it without making him feel as if he was on the spot. “Gavin…”
She was silent so long that he prompted, “Anna, just say whatever you need to say.”
“We’ve only been involved a few weeks, but I don’t want you to think I’m trying to trap you into marriage.” Her eyes filled with a mixture of concern and embarrassment.
He slid an arm around her shoulders, brushed a kiss against her temple. “Sweetheart, you don’t have to defend yourself to me. I know this marriage thing wasn’t your idea, but your family’s.”
She smiled in relief as she leaned her head against his shoulder, relishing their closeness.
He said close to her ear, “Your family is right about one thing.” When she tilted her head back to see his face, he candidly admitted, “I want you…only you. I’ve been careful over the years to never hurt a woman the way my father hurt my mother. He’d promised her marriage to get her to sleep with him and when she became pregnant with me, he still didn’t tell her the truth. Rather than marry her, he just disappeared from her life. He stayed away long enough to ensure that she would be desperate to see him again.”
She moved a hand soothingly over his chest. “I understand.”
“I don’t want you thinking that someday I might change my mind and want to marry. That isn’t about to happen. I won’t do what my father did…I won’t make promises I can’t keep. I don’t run away from my problems, nor do I throw money away. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m his son. There has to be a reason why I’ve never wanted to be involved in a serious relationship until now. I don’t know. It’s different this time…different because of you. I’m different with you.”
Absently caressing her knuckles with a thumb, he whispered, “Anna, I care for you. And I don’t want to hurt you, not ever. Would it be better if I walked away now?”
16
Her heart swelled with both fear of the unknown and longing as she slid her arms around his neck. “I appreciate your honesty. The last thing I need is empty promises. I’ve been running from my feelings for you for weeks now. I realized today that it doesn’t matter if my family disapproves. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not happy about their disapproval but it won’t stop me. None of that changes how I feel about you. I want you, Gavin.”
Anna didn’t add that she wanted him so badly she was willing to take him any way she could get him. Gavin let out a heavy sign of relief an instant before their lips met in a long, sensual exchange.
“Oh Gavin,” she whispered as she moistened suddenly dry lips. He responded with a heavy groan before he savored the sweet honey of her soft mouth. Anna arched her back, pressing her breasts into his deep chest, needing the hard pressure.
“So sweet,” he murmured as he eased her back to fill his hands with her generous breasts. “Anna…” he whispered as he gently squeezed her softness before he worried her aching nipples with his thumbs. The hard peaks beaded as he stroked her through the layers of her sweater and bra.
She shivered from the pleasure. “Please…”
“What, sweetheart? Tell me what you need,” he urged against her lips as he took yet another lengthy kiss.
She was breathless with yearning when he freed her mouth. He waited for her response. Anna blushed at the very idea of verbalizing her needs.
When she couldn’t meet his gaze, he cradled her, whispering, “I want us to be lovers. No secrets, no desires unmet.”
She bit her bottom lip before she confessed, “Every time you touch me, I want more. When you caressed my breasts, I didn’t want you to stop.”
“I don’t want to stop,” he said huskily as his lips warmed the scented hollow at the base of her throat. He released a throaty groan, then he kissed her, deeper than before. “Sweetheart, you have no idea how long I’ve craved your sweetness. The night you slept in my arms was the best and worst. The best because I could hold you, but the worst because I was too sick to make you mine.” He kissed her before he asked, “Where do you need my touch? Or would you prefer my mouth?”
Anna buried her face between his neck and shoulder.
Despite the fact that her body shook from the power of his arousal, he needed to hear the words. “Anna…please. Do you want me the way I want you? Do you want me to make love to you?”
It took every ounce of courage she possessed to look into his eyes and say, “Yes, I want you to make love to me. I’m just not sure I can”—she swallowed the lump in her throat—“satisfy you. You’ve been involved with women like Natasha Baker. Beautiful women who are more experienced.”
“You have nothing to be concerned about. With you it’s different. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any other woman. This isn’t a contest. It’s about the way you make me feel. You matter to me, Anna. If tonight isn’t right for you, then we’ll wait until it’s right for both of us.”
Rather than give in to her own doubts, she concentrated on how he made her feel. Anna brushed her mouth against his again and again. When he opened for her tongue, she slid inside and stroked his tongue with her own. Gavin moaned, deepening the kiss even more. She quivered with pleasure as he suckled. Gavin licked a path down her neck, sponging the warm hollow before moving down to the edge of her vee-neck sweater.
She pressed a hand against his chest. “Not like this.”
“You’ve changed your mind?”
Quick to reassure him, she said, “No, I haven’t, but I didn’t imagine our first time would be like this. I wanted to look special for you.”
He grinned. “Imagined it, huh?” Evidently he was pleased that she’d given some thought to the two of them together. He hastily reassured her, “You’re beautiful just the way you are.”
She kissed him tenderly. “No, I smell like turkey and the cream frosting I put on the cake. I envisioned a candlelit dinner and music. I’m being silly, aren’t I?”
“Never that.” He chuckled as he rose and walked over to the built-in shelves and her stack of CDs. He quickly made a selection and placed it in the compact player on a higher shelf. Smiling indulgently, he asked, “That’s better. Now for the candles.”
