Sharon Green - Blending 04, page 35
I took a deep breath after silently admitting that I couldn’t, and finally looked over at him where he stood drinking his tea. Rion and Lorand had gotten into a conversation and Naran stood listening to them, so the opportunity I’d spoken about earlier couldn’t be ignored. I stood up clutching my own cup of tea, and forced myself to walk over to him.
“I think you were wise not to let a debate get started,” I began, wishing I’d taken a deeper breath before beginning. “No matter what anyone says, some of them may not even have their minds made up by tomorrow morning.”
“Well, they can’t stay here,” Vallant responded, only giving me a quick glance. “Meerk pointed out that this is the first place the next group of guardsmen will check, and anyone left behind here will be retaken. I’ll be mentionin’ that later, so they’ll know they have to make up their minds by the mornin’ … Tamrissa, I don’t want you gettin’ the wrong idea. What I did before we slept had nothin’ to do with the decision I told you about. Just because you needed someone—and I did, too—doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind.”
“Oh, I know that,” I told him with a small laugh, taking the first step to calm his fears. “There’s no need to worry about it. I just wanted you to know I thought you did a marvelous job, guiding everyone in the direction they have to go in. You always look so handsome that they couldn’t help but be impressed, especially in the shirt and trousers you’re now wearing. All colors suit you, but these most of all.”
“Blue and white with touches of gray,” he said, sounding as though he mentioned the colors because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. He also looked suddenly worried …. “Tamrissa, what are you doin’?”
“Oh, nothing,” I responded with a smile I hoped was appropriate. “I just thought it would be pleasant if I were nice to you for a change. I mean, you were really nice to me just a little while ago, and it’s only right to show how much I appreciated it. I hope it doesn’t embarrass you, or make you uncomfortable … ?”
I let my words trail off into a question, ignoring the way he looked even more worried now. I would not let myself get annoyed over the fact that the imminent attack of a hundred guardsmen had fazed him not at all, but my being nice got him worried ….
“I … suppose it just takes some gettin’ used to,” he finally responded, his tone and expression both extremely cautious. “But I’m afraid you’ll have to excuse me now. There’s somethin’ I’ve been needin’ to ask Meerk.”
“Of course,” I made myself answer with the same smile, holding tight to the power to keep from losing my temper. “You and I can talk again later.”
“Later, right,” he muttered with that same expression, then he hurried off to where Meerk was talking to Lidris. I watched him for no more than another moment, then turned and walked over to Jovvi.
“So how do you think it went?” I asked her, very aware of her strange expression as she tried not to glance at Vallant. “My own opinion is that he may very well leave with those who decide against joining us.”
“Oh, it isn’t that bad,” she hastened to assure me, sounding about as convincing as someone speaking to a dying person and telling them that they’re going to live. “I’ll admit he was a bit … taken aback, but didn’t you feel the same when he started to court you?”
“I was nervous, not panic-stricken,” I pointed out, trying to get rid of the dryness my voice had taken on. “If the next time I go to talk to him he turns to run, would it be more polite to trip him, or simply run along behind? Talking all the while, of course, in an effort to calm him down.”
“All right, I’ll admit it didn’t go very well at all,” she said, finally letting out the soft laugh she’d been choking on. “You did make him extremely nervous, because he doesn’t understand what you’re up to. Men are like that sometimes, so maybe you ought to tell him what you’re doing. It would be easier than tripping him or chasing along behind.”
“Easier, but not quite as fair,” I mused. “After all, you have to remember that he didn’t tell me what he was doing when he decided to court me. He pretended it was just some innocent conversation he was after, that and a bit of time in my company. If I’m supposed to do things the way he did, wouldn’t explanations be out of order?”
“I suppose that depends on whether you’re trying to get him back or trying to get even,” she replied, her smile now on the wry side. “When you make up your mind, you’ll be able to answer your own question. And while you’re thinking about it, let’s help with the preparations for tonight’s mass cremation. We can’t leave here without giving those people a proper send-off.”
That was something I didn’t even want to argue, so I followed her while my mind worked on the last question she’d put. It was fair to ask whether I was interested in getting back the man who meant so much to me, or whether I was simply interested in getting even with him. If I hadn’t been touching the power, the answer would have been easy.
But I was touching the power and couldn’t stop touching it, so my reactions were almost alien to what I used to consider normal. The way Vallant looked down at me so warily, almost as though he were afraid of me, was hilarious to my current mood once I thought about it for a while. It wasn’t my talent that caused his reaction, but small, helpless, little me. At one time I would have been horribly upset at the thought, that I could make a man his size want to run.
Now I just wanted to laugh in delight, enjoying the pure silliness of the situation. I had no idea what he imagined I would—or could—do to him, but the urge to chortle over possible future scenes was definitely there. That wasn’t to say that I didn’t seriously want him back, but maybe I could keep the silliness going a little longer … ?
It took all the rest of the afternoon to prepare for the mass cremation, and by the time everything was ready I no longer wanted to laugh. Those poor people had been murdered in cold blood, and I couldn’t help wondering if they’d known their children would be killed along with them. Knowing that would have been harder than the awareness of their own coming deaths, and I no longer felt queasy over what we’d done to those attacking guardsmen. They may or may not have been the actual ones who’d killed all those people, but they were certainly of the same type. They’d been ready to kill us without giving us the least chance, counting on their greater numbers to let them do it in safety.
But they hadn’t been quite as safe as they thought, and as I ranged myself along with the other Fire magic users in our group, I found that a satisfying memory. If you only pick on people you know you can best you’re a coward, and cowards deserve everything that happens to them.
Our group of Fire magic users linked in order to set flame to all the bodies at the same time, something I could have done alone if I’d had to. But this send-off was important to everyone there, and by letting it be a group effort we were including even those who didn’t have Fire magic. We all watched the flames consume those poor, pathetic bodies, and when there was nothing left but ash, Vallant stepped forward.
“Everyone should know by now that it won’t be possible for anyone to stay here after the rest of us leave,” he announced. “There will be more guardsmen comin’ after that first group, and this is the first place they’ll check. Those of us goin’ to Quellin will be havin’ a short meetin’ now, and anyone who’s decided to come along with us should join the meetin’. The rest of you can have your own meetin’, to decide where you’re goin’ from here. Just know that you’ll be takin’ our good wishes with you.”
He began to walk toward the cooking fire near the barn, and the first tentative stirring of the crowd turned into a stream of people who followed him. After the stream ended there were four people who hadn’t gone with the rest, three men and a woman. They looked longingly after everyone else, but ended up turning and walking in the other direction. The woman with them was the one who had spoken earlier about being afraid, and I couldn’t decide whether or not to feel sorry for her. If she’d made the decision not to stay, that was all right. But if she’d let her fear make the decision for her …
But all I could do was shrug and follow along after everyone else. I’d wanted to see how many had decided not to go with us, and now I had. I’d also wanted to see if any of them would turn out to have Fire magic, but none of the four did. I suppose the talent does affect a person’s nature to some extent, but when I reached our meeting and heard Alsin talking, I forgot about everything else.
“… have to get a look at the place first, but I seriously doubt that it’s a fortress,” he was in the midst of saying. “Our general plan will be to cause a distraction designed to draw away whatever guards are nearest our people, and then to release our people. Once our numbers are increased, our position will be a good deal stronger.”
“What will we do if our people are drugged, the way we were?” one man asked. “We won’t be able to simply release them then, not when they can’t run with us.”
“Chances are good that they won’t be drugged, but they might well be conditioned,” Alsin responded. “If they are, then it’s up to our Blending to uncondition them. They think they can do that, and it will be done before we stage our distraction. But please keep in mind that this is a general outline, which will almost certainly be changed once we see what Quellin is like. If their garrison isn’t very big, we can take them over instead of having to distract them. After that we can take more time getting our people back to themselves, but not too much time. The pursuit from Gan Garee will certainly continue, and we have to keep that firmly in mind.”
“Is that what we’ll be doing once we free those people in Quellin?” someone else asked. “Spending the rest of our lives running away from pursuit? That’s not my idea of a very satisfactory life.”
“It isn’t ours either,” Vallant stepped forward to say when Alsin hesitated. “But it also wasn’t our idea to have the nobility cheat us of what we’d earned, then set guardsmen after us to take our lives. The rest of you weren’t meant to be killed, just enslaved in some way, but now they won’t be takin’ any chances. You’ve all found out about their cheatin’, and they’ll also be afraid that we told you about Blendin’. And we will tell you all about it, but we urge you not to try it until you’ve had a bit more practice with your talent. And until we can find a place for you to practice without anyone noticin’.”
That sent a ripple of surprised exclamations through the crowd, possibly because none of them believed that we would share the way to Blend. Some of them might decide that they didn’t want to know, but the rest would listen with both ears ….
And listen they did. Someone stood up and asked if they could hear the details right now, and when Vallant agreed at once, no one got up and left. He described the proper way to stand and how the Spirit magic member had to start things by reaching out to everyone else, then talked about the need for everyone to reach toward the other members of their group. It didn’t take very long, and once he was through explaining, the meeting was obviously over. Our companions were too eager to discuss what they’d just learned to want to sit and listen to anything else. Our own group moved off to one side, and no one noticed that we were gone.
“We’re going to have to find a place for them to practice rather quickly,” Jovvi told us in a soft voice once we all stood together. “Caution will keep them from trying to Blend for a short while, but once that caution fades …”
“They’ll try it just the way we did,” Lorand finished when she didn’t. “No one can blame them, but we also don’t want them to get hurt. Yes, I agree that we’ll have to find a practice place for them.”
“But that’s for another time,” Vallant said with a nod to show that he nevertheless agreed. “Right now we need to get some sleep, so we can be out of here bright and early. We don’t know how much time we have until the next group of guardsmen catch up to us, so we can’t afford to waste any.”
“And I really do need to get a good look at Quellin,” Alsin agreed in turn. “If they have some unexpected defenses against invasion, I’ll need some of the time we don’t have to figure out a way around those defenses.”
“Then let’s all go to bed,” Rion said, Naran under his arm at his side. “The more quickly we take care of all the petty annoyances which lie ahead of us, the more quickly we’ll be able to begin our own normal lives. And we will be able to begin them, I’m completely determined on that point.”
Jovvi and Lorand glanced at each other with smiles before quickly supporting Rion’s point of view, and I chimed in right after Vallant. But I didn’t look at him, as I was a bit too tired to do any running. Although I did mean to have a word or two with him once the meeting was over. He needed to be assured that I meant him no harm, and maybe then his nerves would relax a bit. The group began to break up then, but before I could make my way over to Vallant, Alsin Meerk stepped in front of me.
“Tamrissa, I wonder if I might have a moment of your time,” he said, sounding downright shy. “I’ve been trying for days to get up the nerve to speak to you, and now I finally have.”
“Speak to me about what?” I asked, puzzled as to what he might mean. “And why would you need to get up your nerve? I don’t bite people who talk to me all that often.”
“Well, since we’ve talked so often, I thought it might be my turn to be bitten,” he came back with a grin. “In any event, ever since Jovvi helped me to straighten out the mess in my head, I decided I had to put myself on record. If I don’t and I lose out, I’ll have no one but myself to blame.”
“What are you putting yourself on record about?” I asked, trying not to feel as though I were repeating myself. Alsin had had a hard time, and until he was completely over it he’d need the help of all of us.
“I’m making an official announcement that I intend to court you,” he said, sending my jaw down toward the ground and making me wish I hadn’t asked. “I know you and Vallant had something between you, but it’s perfectly obvious that that something no longer exists. That means the way is clear for me to give it a try, so please be warned. If you see me staring at you with cow eyes, or find me bringing you bunches of wildflowers for no reason, there is a reason.”
“But Alsin, you can’t!” I protested, now trying not to sound frantic. “There was something between Vallant and me and there will be again, so I don’t want to see you hurt. I’m really not interested in—”
“Hush, little one, and listen to me for a moment,” he interrupted gently as he took my hand. “I saw the way Ro was treating you, and that’s no way to behave with a woman you have feelings for. All I’m going to do is show you how I treat that sort of woman, and leave you to make the comparison. If, after you have, you decide you’re not interested in me, well, at least I tried. But you can’t in all good conscience deny me the chance to try, can you?”
“Why not?” I countered weakly, but all that got me was a chuckle from him. Then he kissed my hand and walked away, leaving me to wonder how I always seemed to manage to get into that kind of position. I’d told the man the truth about how I felt, just as I’d told Vallant, but neither of them had believed me. Could I somehow be saying it wrong … ?
Taking a deep breath made me feel only fractionally better, especially since I suddenly remembered that Naran had warned me about Alsin’s feelings. He’d been interested for more than a couple of days, then, which made the situation worse. I could see it now, me chasing after a fleeing Vallant, with Alsin chasing me in turn. All we needed now was someone for Vallant to chase, who could then chase Alsin while he chased me—
I had to close my eyes for a moment to drive away the picture I’d inadvertently painted, and then I was able to make my way toward the box stall that was our group bedroom. If we Blended again before we slept and checked the area for enemies as far as we could reach, we should be able to eliminate the need for people to stand watch. It hadn’t done any good to have people on watch earlier, so it just made sense to do something else. And once again it was obvious that I had no wish to think about anything really relevant, so I’d found something else to take my attention.
I paused to pick a straw out of a handy bale, and took it with me to the box stall. Tomorrow I would speak to Jovvi again, and if what I held didn’t turn out to be the last straw, I was afraid to consider what would be ….
Thirty-Seven
Lorand stood among the trees not far from the road, waiting for Alsin Meerk to reach him. The man was on his way back from Quellin after looking the town over, and should get to where Lorand waited in just a few minutes. Meerk had insisted that the Blending remove all memory from him of where their camp was, so that if he happened to be taken he would not be able to betray them. Lorand had worried that Meerk’s paranoia was returning, but Jovvi had assured him that it was just a commonsense precaution. Meerk could have been caught, and they were camped less than an hour away from Quellin.
It had been Meerk’s suggestion that they set up camp on the far side of the town, to keep from boxing themselves in between the forces in Quellin and the next group of pursuing guardsmen. They’d all considered that a good idea, but it had taken time to work their way around the town without being detected. But at least they hadn’t had any trouble finding a good place to camp. Less than an hour beyond the town there was a very pleasant glade near a fast-running stream, with small stands of trees separating the glade into what could almost be considered private rooms. Between that and the supply wagon, they were more comfortable than they’d expected to be.
