The Witch of Webs: Book 12 (The Wandering Inn), page 26
He began to hum. From his lips, Numbtongue and Yellow Splatters heard a faint tune. A quiet rhyme. A children’s song.
“The night’s been long and the bodies are wet,
But don’t you fret; be quick and ain’t not a guard who’ll be upset
The good folk are rising, and we’re off to our beds,
The smart thieves away with the loot and the slow ones are dead.”
And Numbtongue remembered. The man with the cudgel. The thieves who’d taken Erin’s door. The [Enforcer] winked.
“Jog a memory, perchance?”
“I…”
The Hobgoblin hesitated. This was something else unfamiliar to him. He looked for Erin, but she was still hollering in the middle of the street. When he looked back, the [Enforcer] had stepped close. Too close.
“I’ve just a question. Sir. How’d it happen that you should cross paths with my brothers? And what terrible twist led you to kill them?”
“Numbtongue?”
Yellow Splatters was staring at the [Enforcer] cautiously. But he was behind the man, and Numbtongue—the Hob’s hairs all stood up on end. Pyrite’s memories that had melded with his during the battle were screaming at him.
That sap can break all of your bones in a moment. His [Shatter Blows] Skill is probably recharged. The sap and his hands are so quick he’ll kill me in a moment. It’s something Humans developed for cities. On a battlefield, you could kill him. Here—do you lie or tell the truth?
Maybe the [Enforcer] sensed what was on Numbtongue’s mind. One hand tipped the cap. The other hovered on the hilt of the sap.
“In case you were wondering why I’m so insistent…I’ve a Skill. [Grudgescent Terrier], sir. I can see the deaths of my associates on you. So I’ve a question. No unpleasantness for now. Truth is its own reward. Do not lie. Please.”
Numbtongue wavered for only a moment. Then he nodded.
“I killed them…”
The [Enforcer] listened to the short description of the fight. His eyes flickered when Numbtongue talked about the last man’s salute and the nursery rhyme. But all he did when Numbtongue was done was sigh.
“So you had no idea this group was coming your way. You simply saw the boats—and the door that you knew they’d no right to—and made your call. Simply done, sir. Simply done. But it brings up more questions for me, sad to say.”
He stepped back, pondering, and Yellow Splatters moved next to Numbtongue. The Hobgoblin saw two more figures approaching them down the street. A woman and…no, was it just her? She was beautiful as Humans went he supposed, and the scar was very pretty. Any female Redfang would want that. But her eyes struck him as predatory. Dangerous. And she had two blades in her sleeves.
“So this is the one.”
“The gent says he ran into our groups on the way out of the Floodplains. He recognized the door, but how our teams ran into him and apparently an entire tribe of battle-ready Goblins is the real question.”
The [Enforcer] informed the [Nightstalker]. She bared her teeth.
“A Hob and some Goblins killed an entire group and your three?”
“Apparently he’s better in a scrap when he’s armed. And there were…a few hundred of his lot. Now, why weren’t our groups warned that some very expert Goblins were in the area, hm? I think that’s the real question.”
The [Enforcer] smiled, but when he lifted his hat, his eyes were bleak. Numbtongue looked at the [Nightstalker]. The woman eyed him and spat.
“Are you from one of the gangs, Hob?”
“Gangs?”
“He’s a tribe Goblin.”
The [Enforcer] replied drily. Numbtongue looked at him, and the [Nightstalker] growled.
“I wasn’t asking you. Step off.”
She made a dangerous motion. The [Enforcer] eyed her, but stepped back. The Sister of Chell advanced.
“You, Goblin. Answer my questions or you’re dead. Got it?”
Yellow Splatters lowered one of his hands. The Sister of Chell stopped, and her stilettos flicked into her hands. Numbtongue saw a man—he blinked, frowning. There was someone else here. He narrowed his eyes at…Yellow Splatters was also turning his head, but he addressed the woman succinctly.
“Attack this Goblin and you will die.”
“Really?”
The [Nightstalker] glared up at the Soldier, but warily. She looked at Numbtongue and then jabbed a finger at him past Yellow Splatters.
“Who hired you to take out the Sisters of Chell? Was it the Plague Mage? Someone else? Who told you about the heist?”
“Who? What’s a heist? I just saw Humans stealing the door. So I killed them.”
Numbtongue was regretting it a bit now. It was impulsive, but when he’d seen Liscor on alert and the Humans running off with Erin’s door, he was sure they’d been up to no good. The [Nightstalker] glared at him. She looked at the [Enforcer], and he spread his hands.
“The story checks out. The Hobgoblin’s innocent, Miss. As far as I’m concerned. The question is whether this was bad intelligence or deliberate.”
“It doesn’t matter either way. Someone’s paying for this. And that includes him.”
The stiletto jabbed at Numbtongue. Yellow Splatters had had enough. He grabbed the hand—
And suddenly the other stiletto was sticking out his chest. Numbtongue began to shout, but the [Enforcer] leapt forwards. He caught the black shadow of a man before he swept the shortsword towards Numbtongue’s head. The [Nightstalker] recoiled as another of Yellow Splatters' hands gripped her throat. She stared at the Antinium as the [Blackguard] held very still. He and the [Enforcer] had locked eyes, and Numbtongue was crouched, ready to attack.
“Easy, gentlemen. Lady. Let’s all back off. Slowly. The good folk aren’t more than a few dozen feet away. And I don’t think I’d like to outrun a Gold-rank adventurer and whoever else is in that group. Would you?”
The [Enforcer] addressed the [Nightstalker]. She hesitated. Yellow Splatters' hand was around her throat, but it could have been a scarf for all she cared. What really seemed to bother her was that the Antinium kept the hand there after ten more seconds had passed. Her eyes swiveled to Yellow Splatters. With one of his free hands, the Antinium slowly pulled the stiletto out of his chest.
“Poison is useless against the Antinium.”
The woman’s eyes widened. She looked at the [Enforcer] and nodded slowly.
“Fine. Let go of me and him and we’ll go. For now.”
The [Enforcer] considered the offer. Then he looked at Yellow Splatters and Numbtongue.
“Best you’re going to get I’m afraid, lads. And if you were thinking of making this unpleasant…the Sisters won’t look kindly on having one of their own die on investigation. Whatsoever the cause.”
Yellow Splatters considered this. He slowly let go, and the [Enforcer] did likewise. The woman and man stepped back, and Numbtongue narrowed his eyes as the man vanished from Numbtongue’s immediate perception of the area. But the Goblin was now marking his general location.
“This isn’t over.”
The [Nightstalker] warned Numbtongue and the [Enforcer]. The Human man sighed, as if disappointed.
“And after you gave your word? That’s hardly polite. I say, wait until you know more of the picture. Time to visit Liscor and ask about. There’s a scene there, even if it’s foreign. As for you, sir…”
He turned to Numbtongue and regarded him.
“I’d like to believe it was all chance on your end. In which case, the Brothers won’t hold much of a grudge. But there’s always debts to be settled, sir. I’ll make my report fair as I can.”
“Thanks?”
Numbtongue had no idea what was going on. He looked at the woman as she grabbed her other stiletto and walked backwards. She was easier to understand. She was going to try and kill him. She confirmed this by pointing at Numbtongue’s chest.
“The Sisters of Chell don’t play games of chivalry. You are marked.”
“The Antinium protect him. Remember that.”
Yellow Splatters raised all four arms. Numbtongue saw the invisible man warily stepping between him and the Sister of Chell. The two retreated, never taking their eyes off Numbtongue. The [Enforcer] just sighed.
“Time was it was easier to deal with situations. No Goblins, just good, old-fashioned backstabbing. Not that I blame you, sir. You answered me truthfully, or my Skills would have told me so.”
“You know Goblins. You said I’m a tribal Goblin. Are there Goblins in cities?”
Numbtongue couldn’t believe it. Goblins lived in cities? Garen had said he was the only one! The [Enforcer] hesitated.
“My…association doesn’t work with Goblins or non-Humans as a rule. But I’ve heard and seen it done. We even have a few lads in our ranks of that sort. Good fellows. Very good fellows, as it were.”
“There are Goblins? Working with you?”
Numbtongue said it again. The [Enforcer]’s smile was wide and secretive. He tapped his nose and then tugged his cap.
“There’s a world unseen, gents. In the cities of the north, there’s places no upstanding citizen knows of. And while we ain’t quite as dangerous as the Antinium or a Goblin Lord…well, we’ll be about. Some of our folk died, and we want to know why. Simple as that. You’re the one who killed them, sir. But it seems they were set up or they ran into you by chance. And I’m not sure I believe in chances.”
He nodded at Numbtongue. The Goblin nodded. Yellow Splatters stared at the [Enforcer].
“Who are you?”
“A serendipitous sort. A friend of the quiet folk. Never you mind, Antinium Soldier sir. It’s not the sort of thing a fine sort like you’d ever run across. At least, so I thought until now. If we meet again, let’s all have a drink. I’d hate to meet in less happy ways.”
The [Enforcer] tipped his hat. He stepped back and walked towards the crowd of people. Numbtongue followed him with his eyes as the man slipped into the milling Humans.
Like that, they were gone. And though Celum was overturned by any number of significant events, largely involving an [Innkeeper] upsetting the rule of law, the two, no, three individuals that Numbtongue and Yellow Splatters had met were nowhere to be seen.
——
That night, Erin gathered Numbtongue, Lyonette, and Mrsha to discuss what had happened. The common room of The Wandering Inn was still packed, and the magic door was connected to Pallass via portal. No one would stand to have it connected to Celum at the moment, which was why Octavia was standing with the four, looking nervous and withdrawn. Tired. She wasn’t as chatty as she had been, and Erin was being…kind to the [Alchemist].
“Celum’s hopping mad, guys. Mostly at the City Watch, but I guess sort of at Numbtongue and Yellow Splatters. At least, the City Watch is. But he’s an adventurer, and those were bad guys he, uh, dismembered.”
“You mean disarmed.”
Lyonette frowned. Numbtongue snorted into his cup, and Mrsha looked from Erin’s suddenly blank face to Numbtongue’s and Lyonette’s. There was a pause, and then Octavia burst out laughing, which made everyone else but Mrsha laugh as well. Erin called out.
“Lyonette! That’s terrible!”
“Sorry. I just thought—”
The [Princess] laughed, and Numbtongue, snorting out ale through his nose, coughed. When he had wiped it with a handkerchief, Erin signaled them all towards seriousness. Mrsha folded her arms, not amused at the adults’ hilarity.
“Seriously, though. Octavia’s shop is sort of, um…damaged. I mean, it already was, which was sort of my fault—but the thugs took money from her and did all sorts of stuff. And she used a lot of potions by throwing them during the fight. We need to pay her back.”
Erin nodded at Octavia. The Stitch-girl looked up at the word ‘pay’, but she shook her head when Erin finished.
“It’s okay. I had it coming. I did start it with Quelm. And I’ve learned my lesson. I’m…I guess goodwill’s more important than gold. If it wasn’t for Numbtongue and Yellow Splatters, I’d have lost everything.”
She smiled at Numbtongue. The Hobgoblin peered at her and looked at Erin. This was not the fast-talking [Alchemist] he remembered. She seemed deflated. Erin met his eyes and nodded, concerned.
“Everybody’s at fault. Maybe us more than anyone because we didn’t listen. Then again…Ceria says she’d have been in trouble with the Horns if they fought forty guys. How’d you survive that, Numbtongue?”
“Potions. Yellow Splatters. Good memories.”
And a dangerous man. But Numbtongue didn’t say that out loud. Erin nodded.
“We’ll make it right, Octavia. I promise. We’ve…I’ve been bad to you. Even if you do try to sell a lot. To make it up, Ksmvr’s volunteered to stand guard in the shop tonight with the door open. If anyone comes to make trouble from that old gang, he’ll call us. And you’ll sleep in the inn. Okay? Our third floor’s rebuilt.”
She pointed upstairs. Everyone else looked up. Numbtongue blinked.
“It is?”
“Yup! So, Octavia, sit down. Have a drink.”
Erin gently ushered Octavia to a seat. The [Alchemist] girl sat, and soon Erin was fussing over her as Lyonette, Mrsha, and Numbtongue watched.
“I feel awful. Octavia didn’t deserve that. Or rather, most of it. I think they really did threaten her. Maybe with fire. Stitch-people are terrified of burning.”
Lyonette confided in Numbtongue. He nodded, his eyes on the [Alchemist]. He understood the gang wanting to steal from her, at least. Her shop was so valuable. The potions Octavia had made had saved him and Yellow Splatters. He thought about how hard it was for a Goblin to get even a single potion.
Then Numbtongue heard a voice in the milling crowd. Mainly because it mentioned his name. He looked around and saw Keldrass, one of the Drakes, speaking to the adventurers around him. The Pallassian adventurer looked disgruntled as he argued with Bevussa, Jelaqua, and some of the others.
“I’m not saying it was wrong to destroy a gang. But how can Celum—or any city, Liscor or Celum or Pallass—allow a single Human to throw laws out the window as it pleases her?”
“You’re telling me you object to Erin storming in there and helping arrest that crooked [Alchemist], Keldrass? Really? It’s idiots like him that create monopolies on potions and make adventurers like us pay twice or three times what we have to along with everyone else! Or have you not been to any city besides Pallass?”
Jelaqua was arguing with Keldrass in a Raskghar’s body, much to the displeasure of most of the Gnolls in the room. She folded her arms below her breasts and looked down at Keldrass, much to his displeasure. The Drake hissed in frustration, his tail lashing.
“I’m not saying that. I’m saying the way she went about it was wrong. Or don’t you think she did that just to protect her pet Goblin and Antinium Soldier?”
Numbtongue’s eyed locked on Keldrass. The Drake glared around. Jelaqua opened her mouth to respond, and Bevussa saw Numbtongue incoming. The Hobgoblin walked towards the adventurers, and the Garuda groaned.
“Oh, Ancestors.”
The Hobgoblin strode towards Keldrass, and the adventurers went quiet. In accordance with silence-theory, so did a good portion of the inn. Erin turned around from Octavia and swore. She stood up, but Numbtongue was already confronting the Drake.
As before, now again. Keldrass shifted, one claw moving to his side, and Numbtongue saw the mace hanging there. Keldrass was wearing the armor one of the Raskghar had been using—a powerful magical set. And he could breathe fire. But it was words he spat at Numbtongue, sharp and cruel.
“What, Goblin? I’m speaking the truth. You walked into a sovereign city, a Human one, true, and massacred two dozen Humans with an Antinium Soldier. Explain to me why that’s acceptable.”
“I didn’t kill any of them. And they were criminals. If adventurers did it—”
Keldrass snorted a plume of fire.
“If adventurers did it, my team or a Human one, we’d be arrested! You were only spared thanks to one Human. Her. I’m not saying destroying organized crime was wrong. But I am against one Human subverting the rule of law! That is not how government works!”
He pointed angrily at Erin. She stuck her tongue out at him as she joined the standoff. Numbtongue clenched his fists, searching for the right words. It was hard! He didn’t know what to say. He was barely six years old. He was a warrior; he didn’t know how to talk to Keldrass or even understand the nuance of the Drake’s arguments for all he understood the words!
But perhaps someone did. In his head, Numbtongue reached for a second voice as he had in battle. It was not him. But it was. And the memories had been given for him to use. While he feared, resented, and was confused by them, a dead Goblin’s memories—he could do what Numbtongue could not.
Maybe only Erin, Lyonette, and Mrsha noticed the change. And Yellow Splatters. It was slight. A shift of posture. The difference in the intonation of voice. Numbtongue had always been erudite, if reluctant to show it. And he was no less so now. But the inflection was off. Still, you had to know him to recognize the difference. The [Bard] rumbled in his chest.
“Hm. And it works very well already? You have [Thugs]. Gangs. It’s good to have them because the law is there? Better to have laws than justice?”
Keldrass blinked, then flushed. Jelaqua looked delighted and gave Numbtongue a thumbs-up.
“That’s not what I meant. I’m just saying that Erin—she rescued you because you were connected to her! She cannot interfere and command other people above her rank just because of personal…attachments!”
Numbtongue folded his arms. He set himself with a wider stance, as if he’d suddenly gained weight and needed to brace himself.
“I see. Like the Gnolls and Raskghar? Terrible for her to interfere.”
A ripple of motion ran around the room. Bevussa smiled. Keldrass’ scales turned even redder.
“Don’t twist my words. Those were monsters!”
Numbtongue nodded heavily. He grunted.
“And those Humans were monsters. Your point?”
Erin looked up at the [Bard] in awe. Keldrass opened his mouth, saw Bevussa shaking her head at him, and turned around.
