“I think so. His door was closed. I think he was barricaded in his room all night.”

  “I wish I’d been a fly on the wall while Ariel was talking to him last night. I bet it was good.”

  “No kidding. I’d like video.” Kester started walking in that direction, Tarin next to him. “I’ll be honest, Ariel is nothing like I expected. When she first arrived, she was so timid and quiet and…innocent.”

  “At least she’s still innocent,” Tarin joked. “She sure as shit isn’t timid or quiet. She can and will put any of us in our place in less than a heartbeat. It’s kinda hot.” He grinned, glancing at Kester.

  “Don’t I know it?” Kester smirked before he sobered. “I know Stuart was totally out of line and should never have barged in on her meeting and laid down the law with her, but part of me secretly agrees with him. I wish we could wrap her up in a bubble and demand that she never leave the compound. Does that make me an asshole?”

  “No. I totally agree.”

  When they reached Kester’s apartment, he entered the code and opened the door, surprised to see Stuart in the main room. He was standing against the far wall, ankles crossed, fingers in his pockets, a scowl on his face.

  He was clearly waiting for Kester to return to the apartment, and probably expected Tarin too.

  “Hey,” Tarin murmured as the door shut behind them.

  None of them moved. The air was thick with animosity and frustration.

  Stuart pointed at the kitchen table. “I grabbed coffees.”

  Kester was shocked, and more than a little pleased. If this was a peace offering, he would take it. “Thank you.” He grabbed both of them and handed one to Tarin before taking a sip of his own.

  Stuart ran a hand over his head. “I acted like an idiot last night. Already found Gray Tillson and apologized this morning.”

  Kester nodded. “That’s good.”

  Stuart dragged in a breath. “Listen. This isn’t going to work out. I don’t need or want a woman in my life. I’m going to bow out. Why don’t you two take this apartment, and I’ll find someone else to bunk with?”

  Kester nearly choked on his coffee. He set the mug down at the same time as Tarin. “Stu…”

  Stuart shook his head. “No. Really. It’s good. What happened last night just proved my point. I have no business letting myself get involved with a woman.”

  Tarin stepped closer. “Stu…”

  Stuart shot Tarin a glare that shocked Kester. “Not a word. Don’t say a word. Or did you already tell all my secrets to your newly formed family?”

  Kester’s eyes widened as he glanced from one man to the other. He’d always suspected Tarin and Stu had a history that ran deep, but this was personal and serious.

  Tarin groaned, hanging his head. “I did not tell anyone one fucking word about you, Stu. Stop it. Don’t be a dick.”

  Stuart continued to shoot daggers at Tarin. “Even if you don’t air my fucking dirty laundry to other people, you’re still an asshole. I don’t know why you would even consider sharing a woman with me. How can you even trust me to be alone with her? I bet it made your skin crawl to hear she’d come to this apartment last night by herself.” Stuart made an exaggerated gasping sound with a dramatic hand over his heart. “There is no way you and I could ever share a woman, Tarin. So don’t fucking ask me to. And don’t ask me to join your new little family either. It’s not going to happen.”

  “Seriously?” Kester asked, his voice elevated. “That’s it? You’re just going to bow out and martyr yourself?” Kester’s head was spinning. Most of what Stuart had shouted made no sense to him, though he could tell by the dark heat on Tarin’s cheeks that the redhead had understood every word.

  Stuart jerked his attention to Kester. “Stay out of it. You don’t know anything about me.”

  Kester wanted to punch Stuart, but at the same time, he could see the man was hurting. He had deep scars that he kept buried. Though apparently, Tarin knew some of Stu’s story, which wasn’t surprising since Stu had moved in with Tarin’s family when he’d arrived and needed someone to sponsor him. Tarin was there from the beginning. He clearly knew shit.

  Kester licked his lips and forced his voice to remain calm. “You’re right. I don’t know much about you because in the two years we’ve lived together, you’ve hardly spoken to me. I know it’s not personal. You’re a private person. But I also know you’ve got skeletons, and I know firsthand that holding that closet closed with your whole body is hard work. It’s exhausting.”

  Nearly everyone on earth had a story that would break anyone’s heart. Kester included. His own mother had been kidnapped and taken from him screaming when he was just fifteen. He’d been left alone in the world to fend for himself. Stuart didn’t have a monopoly on sob stories, no matter what his was.

  Stuart rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t take any effort at all, asshole. I locked the fucking closet door and threw the key overboard. The only person with a spare key is Tarin.” He shot another glare at Tarin.

  Tarin cocked his head to one side and planted his hands on his hips. “Just because you’re an asshole and treated me with no respect at all when push came to shove doesn’t mean I’m also a dick. Your secrets will never leave my lips because that’s the kind of guy I am.” He stated all of this magnanimously as if he were doing Stuart a favor that had not been returned.

  Stuart shot daggers at Tarin with his eyes. “Whatever. Aren’t you the perfect martyr? I’m going to make it easier for everyone. Eliminate myself from the equation. Then nobody needs to talk about me or to me. I’ll request more shifts outside of the compound and stay out of your way.”

  Kester rubbed his forehead. “And hide? And pretend you aren’t already so enamored with Ariel that you can’t sleep at night?”

  Stuart released a sardonic laugh. “Sleep at night? I haven’t done that in years. Meeting Ariel changed nothing.”

  “Really?” Kester prompted. “I bet you’re lying. I bet it changed everything. I know it did for me. I think about her all the time. I can’t wait to work this shit out so we can fully claim her once and for all. Together. All of us. As a unit.”

  “He’s right,” Tarin added. “You can deny your feelings all you want, but everyone knows you were the first person to meet her and she was under your skin from that very second. Your behavior is an indication to everyone living in this compound that she’s yours and they should keep their damn hands to themselves. Hell, outside of Kester and I, there isn’t another man of any age living here who dares even glance at her for fear you might gouge their eyes out.”

  Stuart faltered for a moment, glancing at the ground and shuffling his feet before lifting his face again. “Just because I don’t want to see her dead doesn’t mean I’m in love with her and unable to function without her. This isn’t a romance novel. It’s real life, and in real life people fucking die. It’s easier if you never get too attached to anyone. It hurts less when they die. That includes you two assholes.” He waved a hand toward the door. “Don’t you have work to do somewhere? Stop trying to talk me out of this. My decision is final. Give me a few days to find a place to live and then this apartment is yours.” He spun around and stomped into his room, shutting the door with a resounding snick.

  Kester flinched. Holy fuck. The man could say a hell of a lot without saying anything specific. There was no way Kester was going to ask Tarin any questions about what happened when Stuart first arrived five years ago, but obviously, he’d lost someone. Or maybe several people. Hell, they all had.

  Hardly anyone alive hadn’t lost a family member or two. Ariel had lost both her parents three months ago. Somehow she was handling it better than most people would have. She was strong. Solid. Amazing.

  Whatever happened to Stu was still controlling his life. It was still raw on the surface and eating at him. Kester felt sorry for the man who walled himself off from everyone and worked himself to the bone to ensure people got to safety.

  Stu was a good man. He would give his shirt to anyone. He had traveled long distances many times, putting his life in danger to rescue strangers and bring them into the fold. He was always the first to volunteer for a run on the outside. He could go long hours and sometimes days without sleep when it was called for.

  But it was all a front. Inside, he was hurting, and Kester didn’t think there was any chance he or Tarin or anyone else could talk him out of his determination to cut them off. Lord knows they’d all tried.

  The next problem was informing Ariel and then letting her decide if it was time to stop trying.

  Chapter 8

  Ariel was bouncing with excitement when she returned to the compound two days later. After three months living underground, she was downright giddy about forty-eight hours above ground.

  Yes, it had been nerve-wracking, but exhilarating at the same time. As soon as her team reentered the compound, arms loaded with the material and clothing they’d found, word spread throughout the bunker that they were back.

  The four of them made their way quickly to the center of the compound, the main community space. It only took three minutes for Layla to show up, rushing toward Ariel and then hugging her so tight Ariel couldn’t breathe.

  She giggled as the two of them leaned back. “See? I’m fine. Made it without a single problem.”

  “I can breathe again,” Layla stated.

  Ariel rolled her eyes. “Don’t even go there. You have no idea how worried I was for over twelve hours when you went missing in the woods a few months ago. Do you know how long twelve hours is when your only blood relative is on the run from militants? Alone? In a forest she isn’t familiar with?”

  Layla nodded. “I’m sorry. I know that was hard. Thank God it hasn’t happened again.”

  A hand landed on Ariel’s back and she spun around to find herself tugged into Kester’s embrace, and two seconds after that, Tarin’s. She allowed herself to glance around, noting that Stuart was nowhere in sight, but she refused to acknowledge his absence verbally. She would not let his stubbornness ruin her good mood.

  “I guess it was a successful mission,” Willa stated as she joined the growing group, her gaze scanning the boxes of clothing that were stacked on and around the tables. Willa was a member of the council, and it was common for at least one council member to check in with a returning group. But in addition, she was Abnor’s wife.

  “Very,” Abnor told her as he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her briefly, smiling so broadly that the skin around his eyes wrinkled. “We only had to go to three locations. The usual clothing donation sights have grown in size. At least if the world is going to hell in a handbasket, people are still generous about sharing what they no longer need.”

  Ariel grinned as she faced the group again. “Not many places to go these days wearing a ball gown or tuxedo, so there’s some fairly useless clothing out there, but…” Ariel held up a finger, “…I’m creative, so we picked up a lot of totally unwanted items, and I intend to turn them into useful clothing.”

  Layla chuckled. “If anyone could turn a ballgown into something worth wearing in an apocalypse, it would be you.” Layla glanced at all the boxes and back at Ariel. “How are there places with so much clothing?”

  “The Wanderers have an arrangement with The Commonwealth to pick up clothing at several locations. Donated or discarded items.”

  “Ah.” Layla knew there were goods and services The Wanderers sometimes shared with The Commonwealth. Apparently one of the return products was clothing. The reciprocity between the two was important. It also explained why the clothing team was able to take a woman. No one with The Commonwealth would harm her.

  Ariel spent the next hour answering questions and helping the team move everything to the clothing exchange. She would take the rest of the day off, and finally, she exited the exchange and faced Tarin and Kester, who had never left her vicinity and were waiting in the hallway.

  They both reached for her and pulled her into a group hug.

  She leaned into their embrace for several moments before tipping her head back, her brows lifted in question. Words weren’t necessary.

  Kester winced. “Let’s go back to the apartment.”

  She sighed as she followed them down the hallway back to the main community space and then down a different hallway toward the residence Kester shared with Stuart.

  When he opened the door, she was surprised to see several boxes and a few piles of clothes in the living room. She lifted her gaze to both men.

  “I started moving my things in here,” Tarin informed her.

  “Ah.” She was glad. At least someone was making a definitive effort.

  “Stuart hasn’t been here since the morning you left,” Kester stated softly. “He wouldn’t listen. We tried. In the end, he insisted he would move out and let us have this apartment.”

  She rubbed her temples and dropped down onto the sofa. She still had an adrenaline high, but she hadn’t slept much either night she was away, so she was going to crash soon. Dealing with Stuart’s stubborn shit wasn’t on her list of things to manage today.

  Kester sat next to her. Tarin sat on the coffee table. Both of them took a hand.

  “We want to hear more about your trip, but you’re exhausted. How about we let you sleep and we can talk more later?” Kester suggested.

  She leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “Here?” she whispered. Did they mean for her to sleep here? She had about a thousand questions about what their future was going to look like, but the first one was where they thought she was going to nap. Not to mention that suddenly the thought of sleeping vanished. Her heart was now racing, and she doubted she could rest if she wanted to.

  The relationship she was developing with these men was beyond unconventional. It felt like they were doing things all out of order. It was odd enough to be “dating” two men, or was it three? But so far she’d kissed them each only once or twice to a varying degree.

  They were negotiating a permanent relationship, including the fact that Tarin was moving his things into Kester and Stuart’s apartment. And they hadn’t really discussed the logistics or what this arrangement was going to look like.

  To be honest, the fact that Tarin had boxes stacked around the room felt like a huge step. They weren’t just talking anymore. They’d taken action in her absence.

  Kester turned his body to more fully face her. “You’re nervous.”

  She took a deep breath. “Yes.”

  “Doubts?” Tarin asked. “Are we rushing you?”

  “No.” She shook her head. “Definitely no doubts. Just questions. And I’m not sure what our plan is. We haven’t really talked about it beyond attempting to get Stuart on board.”

  Kester rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. “I don’t think Stuart is going to come around, honey.”

  “I know. I get it. We all tried. It’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay. Not even close to okay, but I’m not going to let him keep me from my own happiness any longer. Any of our happinesses.”

  Tarin chuckled. “I don’t think happinesses is a word.”

  She shrugged, smiling. “We each have our own happiness, so I think it works.”

  Kester was grinning at their silly banter. “To answer your question, we’d love for you to stay here. Sleep here. Now or later or forever. We won’t rush you. Take your time. We’ll take our cues from you. Do what feels right.”

  “You have two bedrooms,” she pointed out.

  “It would be tight for four people,” Tarin pointed out, “but perfect for three.”

  “So, how does this sort of arrangement generally work out, exactly?” she asked, feeling ignorant. She should have asked Layla what her sleeping arrangements were. Someone. Anyone. Why hadn’t she?

  Tarin squeezed her hand. “It’s different for every family unit. We decide what we want it to look like for us. There are no rules.”

  “I mean my parents were in a marriage of two people of course. They shared a room and a bed. I assume that was the norm for monogamous relationships until shit hit the fan. Now? Obviously, family units of six people for example don’t all share a bed.”

  Kester nodded. “True. A family of three might though. But only if that’s something they enjoy.”

  She sat up straighter, suddenly feeling more alert. “I have questions.”

  Tarin smiled. “Ask them, love. Ask us anything.”

  She licked her lips. “Don’t laugh.”

  “Never.” Kester shook his head.

  “Let’s set aside the fact that I know so very little about sex for now.”

  “Okay.” Tarin visibly swallowed.

  “So, in these relationships… Polyamorous ones I mean, do we all have sex together? Or like… Just two of us at a time? How exactly does that part work?” Her face heated ten degrees, but it was time to have this chat—before she entered Kester’s bedroom.

  Kester moved her hand from her leg to his, though she doubted he realized he was pressing it against his thigh or squeezing it too hard. She was making him nervous. “We’ll decide that together, honey. Again, no rules. Whatever feels right to us, and most importantly you. If you would prefer to be with only one of us at a time, then that’s what we’ll do.”

  “I have no idea what I prefer.” She shuddered. “It’s impossible to imagine one, let alone two.”

  Tarin smiled. “And no one expects you to know everything up front, love. We’ll play it by ear. Try different things until we know what we like best as a family unit.”

  “What else do you want to ask us, honey?” Kester prodded after a few moments of silence.

  She glanced back and forth between them. “Do you two also have sex with each other?”

  Kester looked at Tarin and then back toward her. “Not likely in our case. We don’t have that kind of connection. I can only speak for myself, but I’ve never been interested in men. That being said, I’m not bothered by the idea of sharing a woman with someone else at the same time. I don’t need some sort of barrier between us,” he teased.

 

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