Rescued, page 11
part #1 of Holt Agency, Book One Series
For a moment, Tavis thought she might launch it across the room, and he wouldn’t blame her. He might grab it and do so himself.
Finally, with a growl of frustration, she tossed it onto the mattress and bolted from the bed, running for the bathroom.
He was used to her stomach being unsettled in the morning. It had been every day so far, but he hated that she had more than one reason to vomit today. Tavis swung his legs over the edge of his side of the bed and rushed after her, catching up and grabbing her hair just in the nick of time before she started heaving into the toilet.
At least now Tavis knew why there were incoming texts from Richard Tillerman. And he had a reason to inquire. Though it was painfully obvious why the man was texting, Tavis didn’t understand why Colette hadn’t mentioned a word?
Granted, Colette was entitled to some privacy, but Tavis had specifically asked her if she knew anyone who could be a threat for any reason. She should have mentioned Tillerman. The man was phone stalking her. And he’d gone to her father’s office? What the fuck?
When Colette finished dry heaving, Tavis handed her a cold damp cloth. This was their daily routine. In a moment she would drop onto her butt and groan before telling him she didn’t like him following her into the bathroom to watch her heave.
Today was different though. She did drop onto her butt and lean against the wall to wipe her forehead and then her lips, but she didn’t speak. Instead, she stared at the floor.
“Sorry about that,” she finally whispered.
Tavis winced. “Sorry about what? You didn’t do anything.”
She shrugged. “You didn’t need a firsthand, front-seat spot for the William Loughlin sideshow.”
He chuckled and squatted down next to her. “I didn’t mind. It helps me understand you better.”
“I’m sure you didn’t want to know any of that. It’s embarrassing.”
He cleared his throat and went straight for the elephant. “Why didn’t you tell me about Tillerman?”
“That’s also embarrassing.”
“Why?” He was beyond confused. If a man Colette had dated even one time was harassing her, he was a suspect, and Tavis needed to know about it. This made no sense.
“It just is. Please drop it. I don’t want to discuss Richard.”
Tavis stiffened. Something was off. “How long ago did you date him?” He tried not to let his voice sound accusatory, but was pretty sure he failed.
She jerked her gaze up and glared at him. “Several months, and I never once let the man touch me.” She shuddered from head to toe, her face scrunching up in disgust. “So don’t fucking look at me like that. He’s not the father of the baby. I didn’t lie to you. I haven’t had sex with anyone for over six months. And I’ve never ever had sex with Richard. The paternity is not in question.”
“Okay,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean to…”
“Yes, you did.” She dropped her face. Her voice was steady and filled with defeat. “And you have every right. I get it. How the fuck could you possibly trust me?”
Tavis reached forward and lifted her chin, his chest tightening. “That’s not true. I do trust you. I’m sorry for my momentary lack of sanity. If I’d thought it through for half a second, I would have realized how stupid my train of thought was. Please, forgive me.”
She nodded and dropped her face again the moment he released her chin.
Tavis waited a few moments and then spoke again, trying to keep his voice calm. “If someone is harassing you, Colette, no matter how minor it may seem, I need to know about it. I can’t protect you if I don’t have all the information.”
She inhaled slowly and spoke to the floor. “It’s no big deal. He’s just persistent. Please drop it.”
“It’s obviously a big deal or you wouldn’t react so viscerally to the mention of his name. I can dig around and find out anything I want to know about Richard Tillerman, Colette, but I’d rather hear most of it from you.”
She shoved off the floor and scrambled to her feet, stomping into the bedroom where she climbed back into bed. It was still super early. The sun wasn’t even up.
Tavis left the light on in the bathroom when he joined her, the fine hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited.
After a few minutes of silence, she spoke, not looking at him. “He’s the son of one of my father’s friends. A banker, same as his father. Masters in business or some shit. He doesn’t give a shit about me. He only cares about the connections he thinks I could provide if he married the secretary of state’s daughter.”
Tavis flinched. Married? “Has he asked you to marry him?”
She sighed and whispered, “Yes. Flippantly. More like pointed out the benefits. As if it were a business negotiation one might have on a first date.”
Tavis sat up straighter. “And you don’t think that’s important?” Part of him wanted to shake her, but he sensed she was withholding some piece of information. Maybe protecting Richard? Why would she do that?
“It’s not.” She groaned and rolled onto her back. “Tavis, I’m begging you to drop it.”
He stared at her. She wasn’t telling him something. He was sure of it, but now wasn’t a good time to pressure her. She was exhausted and hungry and undoubtedly had an upset stomach. “Okay,” he said softly as he lifted one of her hands and rubbed his cheek with it. “For now.”
“Thank you.”
“Want to get in the shower? I’ll go make you some toast and bring it up.”
“Thank you for that too.” She smiled, but it was forced.
The irony in all this was that she had gotten extremely defensive thinking he didn’t trust her, and yet, she was absolutely intentionally withholding information.
As soon as Tavis reached the kitchen, he lifted his phone and shot off a quick email to Ajax and Ryker. He wanted to know every damn detail about Richard Tillerman. He didn’t even feel guilty about it. Colette had to know the first thing Tavis would do would be to dig around in the man’s history.
Which meant whatever was going on or had gone on between Colette and Tillerman wasn’t something Tavis would easily uncover on his own. Something personal had happened between them. But what? And what could be so embarrassing that Colette would seal her lips about it? She hadn’t even had sex with the man. What else was there?
Chapter 14
Things between Tavis and Colette didn’t improve much over the next two weeks. Colette kept him at arm’s length. She didn’t completely ignore him anymore, but she didn’t share much either. She was polite and cordial, but withdrawn and quiet.
He gave her the space. He didn’t have a choice. It hurt. He wanted to hold her. He wanted her to talk to him. But he wouldn’t force her, and he couldn’t begin to know what might have been going on in her mind.
A brief conversation a week ago had led to Colette agreeing to spend her fall break on the other side of the country doing a safari and tracking gorillas in the impenetrable forest.
Tavis made all the arrangements and felt like a weight lifted when they woke up Saturday morning and headed to the small airstrip where they would take a six-seater to the western side of Uganda.
Colette had been gradually improving in the mornings. She hadn’t been violently sick in several days. He assumed their new routine had something to do with her easing queasiness.
Every morning, Tavis got up before her, made her a cup of herbal tea and plain toast. She carefully sat upright in bed and slowly ate the toast and drank the tea. It was working, so he kept doing it.
When they reached the airport, Colette grabbed his hand to stop him.
He turned toward her, concerned.
She tipped her head back and smiled up at him. “Thank you.”
“For what, hon?”
“For planning all this. For distracting me. For cooking and cleaning and making sure I get enough to eat. I mean it. I appreciate everything you’ve done. I know it hasn’t been easy. I’ve been a bitch. Moody. Angry. Unreachable.”
He threaded their fingers together and lifted their combined hands to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “I know everything about our relationship is odd and awkward right now, but my feelings for you haven’t changed. I care deeply about you. I’ve been trying to give you space to work through the cacophony of noise in your head. I hope you can relax for a week, let yourself go into vacation mode. Forget the rest of the world exists and just enjoy yourself.”
She smiled, the first genuine smile he’d seen in weeks. It warmed his heart. “I can do that.”
“Good.”
Thirty minutes later, she was grinning even wider as the plane rose to six thousand feet and settled at that height.
Tavis sat next to her behind the pilot, threading their fingers together. His face hurt from smiling back at her. She was lighter, excited, enjoying herself.
Her expression was bright as she pointed out the gorgeous countryside below them. She shouted when she wanted to speak to be marginally heard through their headsets. He could read her lips well enough though as she pointed out Lake Victoria and then the many dirt roads that most of the country was covered with.
The hills were gorgeous, covered with coffee and bananas and tea. Everything was lush and green. The country had the perfect environment for year-round crops. It may have been poor, but he’d come to learn that most of the inhabitants didn’t know they were poor. They were living their lives. They had plenty to eat and all the clay right under their feet to make bricks and build one-room dwellings.
People in Uganda didn’t spend much time inside. They worked the fields during the day and sat outside when they weren’t working. The weather was phenomenal nearly all the time, the temperature warm but often mild. The shelter served one primary purpose—to protect the inhabitants from the rain and provide them with a safe place to sleep.
“My God,” Colette mouthed as they swooped down low over the dirt runway. She pointed at the giraffes as they scattered in every direction. The pilot had warned them they would probably do a drive-by to clear the runway of animals before landing on the second pass.
The giraffes were so majestic. Gorgeous creatures who took his breath away as they galloped on their long legs out of harm’s way.
Finally, the plane landed. Colette’s entire personality had undergone a transformation. She was giggling with glee as they climbed out of the plane and met their guide for the week.
“Tavis and Colette? I’m Marcus. I’ll be your driver and tour guide for the week.” Marcus shook their hands and nodded toward the Land Cruiser as he grabbed Colette’s suitcase from the pilot.
Tavis grabbed his own bag, and moments later, their luggage was stowed in the back of the SUV and they were off.
Colette tipped her head back and smiled, window down, sun and wind hitting her face. “It’s so beautiful here.”
Tavis agreed, though he had trouble taking his eyes off the woman next to him.
“It’s about an hour drive to Ishasha Lodge and then you can relax and enjoy the rest of your afternoon. I think you’ll love the lodge. The food is amazing. It’s located on the Ntungwe River. You can sit by the water and rest. We’ll head out for our first safari drive in the morning.”
“Sounds good,” Tavis responded. All that mattered to him was seeing Colette relaxed and pleased. He wasn’t stupid enough to think her problems were completely gone and ignored. She would carry the weight of her issues in the back of her mind during the entire vacation, but hopefully she could keep the future where it belonged and enjoy the moment.
After Marcus entered the national park, he put the Land Cruiser in park and turned in his seat. “Tavis, if you’ll help me lift the roof, the two of you can climb up from the back seat and sit on the ledge behind the raised section.”
Tavis was surprised and excited as he lifted the back while Marcus lifted the front.
Marcus pointed at the back row of seats. “Grab those pillows to sit on and climb on up.”
Tavis wasn’t sure if Colette would be game for this or not, but when he glanced at her, she was grinning from ear to ear as she made her way toward him. He steadied her around the waist to help her climb up and then followed to sit next to her.
When he turned to face her, she looked so happy. Content. Eyes wide as she looked around. “My God, it’s so beautiful,” she murmured as she reached for Tavis’s hand and squeezed.
“Ready?” Marcus asked.
“Yep,” Tavis responded.
And they were off. It took another half an hour to get to the lodge, during which they saw a lot of amazing animals ranging from buffalo to topi. Birds too. So many species of birds.
The lodge was breathtaking. Mostly outdoors with a dining area and seating next to the river. After dropping their bags off at the amazing cabin they would be staying in for the first few nights, they returned to the lodge to eat dinner and lounge next to the river on Adirondack chairs.
Colette sighed as she turned to meet Tavis’s gaze. “What?”
“You look so happy,” Tavis pointed out.
She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “I am. At least for the next week I can pretend I’m someone else and ignore my problems.”
He reached for her hand and brought it to his cheek. “You don’t have to pretend to be someone else. The real you is amazing.”
“The real me is pregnant and alone without finishing school.”
He swallowed. “You’re not alone, Colette,” he whispered. God, he wished she could understand how much he cared about her. She was holding him at arm’s length, and though he hated it, he wouldn’t pressure her to see that she had him. She wasn’t ready to deal with whatever the two of them could become. Tavis wasn’t sure he was either.
In his heart, he was head over heels for this woman. But the reality was she was way out of his league, and even if she did decide to give him a shot at more after six months, how was he going to fit into her world?
Tavis had never been around rich people. Nor did he have any experience with government officials. He was certain her father would never approve of him, but he wasn’t sure he gave a fuck. All that mattered was Colette.
He certainly didn’t want to be the cause of a family rift or add to her pile of problems, but fuck. It was possible that even without her parents’ approval of him, she would still be better off with him than holding on to whatever odd relationship she had with them.
If he walked away from her, what would happen to her? Would she move in with her parents and let them help her? Would they even let her move in? Would they even offer to help at all?
His stomach roiled every time he considered what she might face. She certainly knew better than he did, but she wasn’t eager to talk about it, and he couldn’t blame her. Nor was he eager to bring it up. There was plenty of time.
All Tavis wanted to do for the time being was lighten her load and make her smile, convince her she was his even though she was pregnant. With each passing day, he grew more and more certain he didn’t give a fuck she was pregnant. It changed nothing about how he felt. It was more complicated, but when he thought about turning his back on her, he felt sick.
Hell, when he thought about not seeing her every single day, he felt sick. The idea of not waking up next to her—even with a seemingly giant valley between them—made his chest hurt.
He hadn’t even had sex with her. Ever since those two lines had shown up on the stick, she’d pulled back and gone cold. Until today. Tonight, he was holding her hand. She was letting him. She was also smiling.
One of the park employees walked them to their cabin in the dark. Apparently there was a local hippopotamus that shared this area of the national park and sometimes wandered too close.
“Someone will set up hot water for you in fifteen minutes,” their guide informed them. “So you can shower before bed.”
“Thank you.” Tavis shut the door and turned to find Colette wandering around the fancy glamping arrangement.
“This is the cutest place I’ve ever been,” she said, twisting her neck back to look at the canvas ceiling. It was really a cross between a tent and a cabin. She giggled, which warmed his heart. “It cracks me up that they have to put a bucket of hot water outside so we can shower.”
He smiled and reached for her, hoping she would come into his embrace and let the distance between them dissipate. He didn’t fully breathe until she let him wrap his arms around her, and he gave a silent fist pump when she tipped her head back and let him kiss her.
He took his time, relearning what it felt like to lick the seam of her lips and swallow her soft sighs. He flattened his palm on the small of her back, his other hand reaching up to thread in her hair, angling her head to one side so he could slide his tongue into her mouth.
Yes. God, yes. He loved the way she softened for him, let him in. It was a small thing but a step in the right direction. Should he be doing this? Probably not. But fuck it. Pretending she wasn’t his was ridiculous. He should be focused on convincing her of that fact, not trying to stay away from her.
He hated releasing her, but they needed to shower while the water was hot, so he eased back to stare into her eyes. “I could kiss you all night, but you should get in the shower.”
“Yeah.” She glanced away with a shiver, breaking the spell as she released him. She didn’t meet his gaze as she grabbed her toiletries and headed for the attached bathroom. It wasn’t really separate. It didn’t have a door, but if he sat on the bed, he wouldn’t be able to see her in the shower.
Lord knew he’d rather watch her shower or join her, but they weren’t there yet. He wasn’t sure when they might get there since she would undoubtedly grow self-conscious about her body soon. He hated that as much as he hated all the other parts of this situation that never leaned in his favor.
Colette was fucking gorgeous. She would be just as stunning if not more so pregnant. He’d never had thoughts of pregnancy or kids before. He’d never visualized having children with anyone he’d dated or seeing their body change and grow as the baby did. This was new to him. Shocking. Because it was Colette. Because he would take her any way he could.
