Uncle John's Great Big Bathroom Reader, page 37
MEANWHILE, BACK IN NEW YORK...
Edward John Noble made a living selling ad space on streetcars in New York City. One day, he saw Crane’s Life Savers in a candy store and bought a roll. He was so impressed that he jumped on a train to Ohio to convince Crane to buy streetcar ads. “If you spend a little money promoting these mints,” Noble told Crane, “you’d make a fortune!”
A woman’s sense of smell is most acute during ovulation.
Crane wasn’t interested, but Noble persisted. To get rid of him, Crane sarcastically suggested that Noble buy the Life Saver brand. He’d even throw in the defective pill machine for free. Noble asked, “How much?” Caught unprepared, Crane blurted out, “$5,000.”
Noble thought the price was a steal—but he didn’t have that kind of money. He returned to New York and was able to raise $3,800. He went back to Cleveland and talked Crane’s price down to $2,900.
PAPER-FRESH
Noble immediately ran into problems. He found that after a week on the shelves, the candy started tasting like the paperboard it came in. So he developed a tinfoil wrapper that kept the flavor fresh. But there were thousands of stale, old rolls on candy store shelves. Store owners refused to order any more unless Noble exchanged the old rolls for new ones. He made the exchanges, but the candy still didn’t sell very well. Noble started giving away samples on street corners—to no avail.
COUNTER PROPOSAL
He then came up with what was, at the time, a brilliant new marketing idea: To sell his candy in other places besides candy stores.
Noble talked to owners of drug stores, barber shops, and restaurants, convincing many to carry Life Savers. He told them, “Put the mints near the cash register with a big 5¢ card. Be sure that every customer gets a nickel with his change, and see what happens.”
It worked. With change in hand, some customers flipped a nickel back to the clerk and took a pack. Noble finally began making money.
SWEET SPOT
However, his success created a new problem. Other candy manufacturers quickly discovered the magic of counter displays for impulse sales. The space around cash registers started getting overcrowded.
Noble had another brilliant idea. He designed a segmented candy bin—leaving space for other candy products—but putting Life Savers in the best position...across the top. They were so successful that Life Saver counter displays are still found next to many checkout lines.
Meanwhile, the company began expanding its line from its original Pep-O-Mint flavor. Life Savers have since become the world’s best-selling candy ever—with nearly 50 billion of the familiar rolls sold.
3 most landed-on Monopoly® squares: Illinois Ave., Go, and the B&O Railroad.
Q&A: ASK THE EXPERTS
More random questions, with answers from America’s trivia experts.
PEEPING VINCENT
Q: Why do the eyes in a painting or photograph follow you?
A: “This is the result of the original sitting. If the subject was looking directly at the artist or the camera when the work was executed, they will seem to be looking directly at you, no matter where you stand. If, however, the subject was looking to one side of the artist, the eyes will never focus on the observer.” (From A Book of Curiosities, by Roberta Kramer)
I’LL EAT JUST ONE
Q: Why are some potato chips green?
A: “Green potato chips are the result of something called sunscald. Potatoes are supposed to grow under the ground. Once in a while, however, part of the tuber might poke above the soil and be exposed to the sun. Being a chlorophyll-containing plant, the potato begins to turn green below the spots that were in the sun. While chlorophyll isn’t bad for you, the solanine (a toxic chemical) produced may not be that great for you. There are no studies of how many green chips it would take to make you ill, but you may as well play it safe and toss them back in the bag anyway.” (From Why Does Popcorn Pop?, by Don Voorhees)
BLINDED BY THE LIGHT
Q: Why do moths fly into the light?
A: “Moths aren’t really attracted to light. Somehow, the brightness confuses the creature’s sense of direction and it can’t fly straight anymore. Scientists still don’t completely understand why. They do know that, unlike human beings, the moth uses light rays from the moon or sun as a guide when it flies. The moth keeps itself moving in a straight line by constantly checking its position against the angle of the light rays striking its eyes.
It’s pear-adise: China grows more pears than any other country in the world.
“Although this complicated guidance system works fine when the light source is far away, it goes haywire when the light is close by. Stimulated by a bulb or candle, the moth’s nervous system directs its body to fly so that both eyes receive the same amount of light. This locks the helpless creature onto a course toward the light and eventually causes it to blunder right into the bulb or flame.” (From How Do Ants Know When You’re Having a Picnic?, by Joanne Settel and Nancy Baggett)
LIKE A FISH UNDERWATER
Q: Can a fish drown?
A: Believe it or not, yes. “Fish, like people, need oxygen to live. There is oxygen both in the air and in the water. People breathe in the oxygen of the air through their lungs. When a man drowns, it’s because he has used up his supply of oxygen and cannot get any from the water. So he dies. Fish breathe through gills rather than lungs. Gills can extract oxygen from water, but not from air. When a fish is pulled out of water, it soon exhausts its supply of oxygen, and ‘drowns’ because its gills can no longer function.” (From A Book of Curiosities, by Roberta Kramer)
AFTER-DINNER DIP?
Q: Should you really wait an hour after eating before swimming?
A: “Water safety experts used to think...that stomach cramps caused by swimming on a full stomach were a leading cause of drowning. The cramps would cause you to double up in pain, you’d sink like a stone, and that would be the end of you. Later research, however, showed that stomach cramps were rare. It’s still not wise to swim long distances on a full stomach because you might become dangerously tired. But splashing around in the pool is harmless.” (From Know It All, by Ed Zotti)
MERRY XRISTOS
Q: Why is the word Christmas abbreviated as Xmas?
A: “Because the Greek letter x is the first letter of the Greek word for Christ, Xristos. The word Xmas, meaning ‘Christ’s Mass,’ was commonly used in Europe by the 16th century. It was not an attempt to take Christ out of Christmas.” (From The Book of Answers, by Barbara Berliner)
The IRS processes more than 2 billion pieces of paper each year.
SERENDIPITOUS HITS
We’ve already done a few things with serendipity in this Bathroom Reader, so we’ll keep it going. Here are three songs that became hits...with a little help from serendipity.
LET THE SUNSHINE IN / AGE OF AQUARIUS
—The Fifth Dimension
Background: The hit musical, Hair, had been on Broadway for about a year when the vocal group The Fifth Dimension arrived in New York City to perform at the Americana Hotel in 1969.
Serendipity: “Billy [Davis, of the group] lost his wallet in a cab,” recalls Florence LaRue (also a group-member). “He didn’t know where he’d lost it, but a gentleman called and said he’d found it and wanted to return it. Billy was grateful, but the man didn’t want a reward. He just said, ‘I would like you to come and see a play that I’ve produced.’
“Well, as it happens, he was the producer of the play Hair. And as we were sitting there listening to ‘Aquarius,’ we all looked at each other and said, ‘This is a song we’ve got to record. It’s just great.’” They took the song to their producer, who suggested that they combine it with “Let the Sunshine In.” They recorded it in Las Vegas, where they were performing. “It was the quickest thing we ever recorded,” says Florence. “And it was our biggest hit.”
YOU AIN’T SEEN NOTHIN’ YET—Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Background: B.T.O. was basically a family organization. Randy, who played lead guitar and sang, had been a charter member of The Guess Who. His brother Robby played drums, and his brother Tim played rhythm guitar. The bass player’s name was Fred Turner (hence Bachman-Turner), but still another brother, Gary, was their first manager.
Miguel de Cervantes wrote Don Quixote while in prison.
Gary had a speech impediment; whenever he got excited, he stuttered. And his brothers sometimes poked mild fun at him over it. One time, Randy brought a new song into the studio for the group’s 1974 Not Fragile album. He started fooling around with the song, saying things like, “I’ll now sing it like Frank Sinatra,” and then croon away, just like Sinatra. Then he did a version in James Cagney’s voice. Finally, he decided to sing it like stuttering Gary: “B-b-b-b-baby, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” The brothers thought it was so funny that they decided to record it that way, intending only to send a copy of it to Gary as a gag. They planned to go back later and do a straight rendition.
Serendipity: But when they played the first takes of their album for Mercury Records, the stuttering tune was still on the tape—they’d forgotten to delete it—and Mercury wanted to include it on the record. Randy said no and tried to recut it in his regular voice, but it just didn’t work. So the original rendition of “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet” went on the album. The next thing B.T.O. knew, Mercury wanted to release it as a single. Now Randy really objected. As the producer of the record, he could refuse to let the record company release it. And he did...for three weeks. Finally, figuring it wouldn’t be a hit anyway, he relented. Within two months, it was the top record in the U.S. “It’s a gold single now,” he said in 1975. “I’m not so embarrassed anymore.”
INCENSE AND PEPPERMINTS —The Strawberry Alarm Clock
Background: In 1967, a band manager brought producer Frank Slay a tape of a song that his group had recorded. “I thought it was an absolute stone smash,” Slay says, “but there were no lyrics.”
Slay sent the tune to a lyricist named John Carter and asked him to write “hip psychedelic” words to it. Carter wrote a song full of “meaningless nouns,” which he titled “Incense and Peppermints.” The group didn’t like it, but they agreed to learn it.
Serendipity: Slay invited Carter to the studio for the recording session, and Carter made a major contribution. He didn’t think the lead singer was right for his song, so he asked another member of the group to sing it instead. No one complained, and the group recorded “Incense and Peppermints” that day. However... the next day, the singer was gone. “Where is he?” Carter asked. “Oh, he’s not even in the group,” came the reply. “He’s just a friend who’d dropped by for the day, to help with the harmony.”
“Incense” hit at just the right time, when the “psychedelic sound” was starting to force its way into mainstream rock. It became the first psychedelic-pop hit. That anonymous singer wound up hearing himself wherever he went in 1967, on a #1 song.
Most common reason for hiring a private detective in the U.S.: “Tracking down a debtor.”
VIDEO TREASURES
Here’s another list of lesser-known movies available on video that the BRI recommends.
ROBIN AND MARIAN (1976) Romance / Adventure
Review: “Take the best director of swashbucklers, Richard Lester; add the foremost adventure film actor, Sean Connery; mix well with a fine actress with haunting presence, Audrey Hepburn; and finish off with some of the choicest character actors. You get Robin and Marian, a triumph for everyone involved.” (Video Movie Guide) Stars: Sean Connery, Audrey Hepburn, Richard Harris, Ian Holm, Robert Shaw, Nicol Williamson. Director: Richard Lester.
ATLANTIC CITY (1981) Drama
Review: “An absolutely stunning film by Louis Malle, this English-language production is riveting from its first few shots and never lets up. It has the kind of rhythmically precise direction that bespeaks absolute artistic command, eliciting the maximum impact from the smallest of expressed emotions....Everyone involved is superlative, from Burt Lancaster and Susan Sarandon to the newcomer Robert Joy (who plays a new breed of punk kid to make your skin creep).” (Movies On TV) Stars: Burt Lancaster, Susan Sarandon, Robert Joy, Kate Reid, Hollis McLaren. Director: Louis Malle.
GREGORY’S GIRL (1981) Romance / Comedy
Review: “While American directors were churning out vile sex comedies about teenagers, Scotland’s inimitable Bill Forsyth was making this charming, offbeat comedy about teenage puppy love. Gordon John Sinclair is a tall, gangly teenager who falls for the mysterious new girl in school (Dee Hepburn)—the star of the school’s otherwise all-male soccer team....This sweet, extremely amusing film (which is brimming with clever sight gags) is like nothing made in the U.S.” (Guide for the Film Fanatic) Stars: Gordon John Sinclair, Dee Hepburn, Chic Murray, Jake D’Arcy. Director: Bill Forsyth.
The U.S. has 12,383 miles of coastline; 6,640 miles of it are in Alaska.
ATOMIC CAFE (1982) Documentary
Review: “A chilling, humorous compilation of newsreels and government films of the 1940s and 1950s that show America’s preoccupation with the A-Bomb. Some sequences are in black and white. Includes the infamous training film ‘Duck and Cover,’ which tells us what to do in the event of an actual bombing.” (Video Hound’s Golden Movie Retriever) Director: Kevin Rafferty.
DARK EYES (1987) Foreign / Drama (In Italian with subtitles)
Review: “Mastroianni gives a tour-de-force performance as a once-young, idealistic, aspiring architect, who settled for a life of wealth and ease after marrying a banker’s daughter...and proved incapable of holding on to what’s important to him. A rich, beautifully detailed, multileveled film that’s at once sad, funny, and haunting. Based on short stories by Anton Chekov (One of which was previously filmed as Lady with a Dog).” (Leonard Maltin’s 1998 Movie & Video Guide) Stars: Marcello Mastroianni, Silvana Mangano, Marthe Keller, Elena Safonova, Pina Cei. Director: Nikita Mikhalkov.
BIG HEAT (1953) Noir / Suspense
Review: “This sizzling film noir directed by Fritz Lang features [Glenn] Ford (in his best performance) as an anguished cop out to smash a maddeningly effete mobster (Scourby) and break his hold on a corrupt city administration. With sensational support from [Lee] Marvin as a sadistic hood and [Gloria] Grahame as Marvin’s bad / good girlfriend....Brutal, atmospheric, and exciting—highly recommended.” (Movies On TV) Stars: Glenn Ford, Alexander Scourby, Lee Marvin, Gloria Grahame. Director: Fritz Lang.
BELIZAIRE THE CAJUN (1986) Romance
Review: “Belizaire the Cajun is a film that is atmospheric in the best sense of the word. The Louisiana bayou of the 1850s is richly recreated in a cadence of texture and deep, dark swamp-land colors, along with the rhythms of Cajun accents and full-bodied folk music (score by Michael Doucet). Armand Assante is Belizaire, an herbal doctor who finds himself in a mess of trouble because of his affection for his childhood sweetheart and his efforts to save a friend from persecution.” (Video Movie Guide) Stars: Armand Assante, Gail Young, Michael Schoeffling, Stephen McHattie, Will Patton. Director: Glen Pitre.
“Nothing can be said about our politics that hasn’t already been said about hemorrhoids.”—Anon.
MEET MR. WHIPPLE
Finish this sentence: “Please don’t squeeze...” See? It’s obnoxious, but it’s unforgettable. That why it’s considered one of the most successful commercials of all time. Here’s the story of how the great American hero of toilet paper, Charmin’s Mr. Whipple, was born.
PAPER TRAIL
In 1957, Procter & Gamble bought the Charmin toilet paper factory in Madison, Wisconsin. It was the consumer product giant’s first move into the toilet paper business—and not a particularly auspicious one. At the time, Charmin was a regional brand sold in the northern, rural part of the state. It had a reputation, recalls one critic, for being a “rough-hewn, backwoods toilet tissue...a heavy-duty institutional, even outdoorsy-type toilet tissue.” In other words, you might put it in your bomb shelter, but you wouldn’t want it in your bathroom.
Procter & Gamble improved Charmin’s quality and launched an advertising campaign featuring a cartoon character called “Gentle the Dog.” The new Charmin was “fluffed, buffed, and brushed,” just like Gentle’s fur, the ads said.
LESS IS MORE
In 1964, Procter & Gamble researchers made a toilet paper breakthrough: they figured out how to make the paper feel softer. Instead of pressing water out of the wood pulp as it was being made into toilet paper, they dried the pulp with streams of hot air. The hot air “would actually ‘fluff it up,’” one internal memo reported. “This allows for a deeper, more cushiony texture. An added benefit...is that less wood fiber per roll is required to make the same amount of this improved tissue.” Less wood fiber meant the paper was cheaper to make than competing brands; the softer feel meant it could be sold for a higher price.
Throwing Ideas Around
Big egos: 25% of the people at sporting events say their presence affects the outcome of the game.
But how would Procter & Gamble get the word out about Charmin’s new-found fluffiness? The company’s ad agency, Benton & Bowles, experimented with ads showing Gentle the Dog going to court to change his name from Gentle to “Gentler.” But test audiences hated the ad, so Gentle the Dog was put to sleep. What could they replace it with? A three-person creative team was assigned to come up with something. They had a roll of Charmin with them to serve as inspiration, but it didn’t seem to work—no one had any viable ideas. “It was one of those Grade B movie situations,” creative director Jim Haines recalls. He continues:
We were having a think session, you know, a frustration session and we were not only kicking ideas around, we were tossing the roll around, and we started to get the giggles. John Chervokas [the junior copy writer] caught the roll and started to squeeze it and somebody said, “Don’t squeeze it,” and John said, “Please don’t squeeze it,” or “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin,” and it just happened. The thing just rolled off his tongue.
