Second Chance Family, page 25
She’d also been worried that her phone would drop out if she went too far off grid, and she still hadn’t spoken to Jenna.
Ben had been surprised when she’d excused herself from the planned adventure. But he looked even more surprised now, when he saw the state of the kitchen – the stove covered with pots and pans, the benchtops littered with grocery items and her T-shirt liberally splashed with satay sauce.
‘We saw a goshawk,’ Joey announced. ‘And a lizard that totally looked like a baby dragon. Oh, and Ben recorded an amazing bird song on his phone. What’s that bird called again, Ben?’
‘The Wompoo Fruit-Dove.’
‘Yeah. And it makes this awesome wollack-a-woo sound. Where’s your phone, Ben? Let Mum have a listen.’
‘Yeah, in a minute,’ Ben said somewhat distractedly. ‘First I’m curious to know why your mother seems to be cooking enough food for an army.’
Callie shrugged, as if it was no big deal to have a beef casserole almost ready for the oven before midday, as well as a chicken and cashew stir-fry already simmering on the stovetop. She was also planning to make a lasagne and a bacon and macaroni pasta bake before the day was out.
‘Are you throwing a dinner party?’ Ben asked her.
‘No.’ She couldn’t help grinning. ‘This is all for you.’
When he looked both worried and stunned, she said, ‘I was hoping it might be helpful. I brought containers, and I thought I’d divide these into meal-sized portions and stow them in the freezer. You have a microwave down in the cabin, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I do and – and this is very good of you, Callie.’ For a moment he looked as if he might have hugged her, but then perhaps changed his mind, possibly because Joey was watching. ‘But you didn’t need to go to so much trouble.’
‘I wanted to. I needed to feel as if I’m pulling my weight here – or at least making a small contribution – especially now you’ve offered to paint the kitchen on top of everything else you’ve done.’ They had just about settled on a fresh white and mint green colour scheme for the kitchen, which was all very exciting.
But Ben was looking rather dismayed, and Callie wondered if she’d made another foolish blunder. ‘Have I got it wrong, Ben? I suppose I should have checked. Maybe you don’t eat here all that often. Do you prefer to go into Burralea to the pub?’
‘No, no, Callie, this is fine. It’s amazing.’ He might have said more, but Joey was tugging at his sleeve.
‘Ben, Ben, can we play that Wompoo Fruit-Dove for Mum now?’
Ben stayed for lunch, which was a simple affair of ham and tomato sandwiches, eaten at the table outside. When Joey finished his sandwich, Callie peeled him an orange and he wandered off to eat it while sitting on the grassy slope, with binoculars ready for possible bird sightings.
As Ben helped himself to a bunch of grapes, Callie said, ‘Perhaps I should have warned you that I wanted to cook a few meals, but I thought you might try to talk me out of it.’
‘And perhaps I might have.’
‘But you don’t mind, do you?’
‘No, of course I don’t mind. It’s a lovely gesture. I guess I was just a little caught out. I’d been expecting you’d be busy taking photographs this morning.’
‘Ah, yes, good point. But I did grab some scenic shots of the mist this morning, and I’ll make sure I catch the sunset this evening. I know they’re not on Shirley’s list, but I think they’d certainly help sell the place. And I have checked the weather forecast. Tomorrow should be fine for taking the other more practical photos.’
Ben smiled. ‘Clearly, you have everything in hand.’
‘I hope so.’ And now, because he looked so damned attractive, Callie was smiling too.
It seemed they were back in dangerous smile territory.
But then Ben’s expression grew serious again. ‘I think the other reason I reacted is because it hit me that my grandmother – my mother’s mother – was the only woman in my family who would have gone to so much trouble like that for someone else.’ He was frowning into the distance now, as if lost in a dark memory. ‘I suppose my mother might have been more inclined if she hadn’t become unhappy and bitter so early on in her marriage.’
‘That’s sad, Ben.’
He nodded. ‘Sad and mad.’
‘I know it’s none of my business, but if your parents have been so unhappy, why have they stayed together?’
‘Money,’ he said darkly.
‘Oh.’
‘My mother’s inheritance. My father’s investment strategies.’ Ben gave a weary shake of his head. ‘So many wrong decisions are made because of money.’
Callie couldn’t help wondering if there were deeper implications hidden in this comment. Questions about selling Hawkridge, perhaps?
It wasn’t an easy question to raise, though, and Ben looked so tight lipped and frowning that she didn’t like to push. She already had quite a few uncomfortable questions lining up, but they might also have to wait.
Callie finally got through to Jenna midafternoon.
‘It’s okay, Mum, don’t panic. Ethan’s parents can drop us off right outside the theatre, and they’ll be waiting to pick us up when the movie’s over.’
Callie decided she couldn’t really say no to this, even though she would be home again by tomorrow evening, and she would have preferred to be the parent doing the driving.
‘Let me know how it goes,’ she told Jenna. ‘I’ll be waiting up till I hear from you.’ Then, before she hung up, she remembered to tell her daughter to have fun and that she loved her.
Back in the kitchen, she finished her cooking stint, cleaned all the surfaces till they were sparkling again and then scooted outside to capture several lovely photos of the sunset-tinted views in all their rose and golden glory.
While she’d been busy, Ben had been to town to collect paint charts so they could narrow down their final selections for the kitchen and, of course, Callie had invited him to dinner.
Joey had the honour of choosing which of Callie’s ready-cooked meals they would eat this evening. No surprise, the boy selected the pasta bake. A simple dish of bacon and macaroni combined with tomato soup and loads of cheese, and topped with crunchy, buttered breadcrumbs, it had always been a family favourite.
They dined outside in the last of the light, and Ben and Joey both raved about the food and begged for second helpings. It was only as they were finishing up that Ben revealed he’d also bought a board game while he was in town.
The game was called Hoot Owl Hoot, and when Ben explained that its aim was for each player to get their owls flying home to their nests before the sun came up, Callie felt quite choked up. Surely there couldn’t be a more perfect game for her boy to play here in this setting?
She promised Joey that they would all play this together before his bedtime, then sent him off to have a shower and change into his PJs while she quickly washed the dishes.
‘You certainly have a talent for choosing great gifts for youngsters,’ she told Ben as Joey happily skipped off to the bathroom. ‘But it’s kind of surprising. I had the impression there weren’t many kids in your family.’
‘And you’d be absolutely right,’ said Ben. ‘No children currently in my immediate family.’ Then he picked up a tea towel and began to dry the plates Callie had stacked in the drainer. ‘I guess I can blame any inspiration on a friend’s family I stayed with many years ago.’
‘That’s interesting.’
‘Donny, my best mate at boarding school, invited me home in the summer holidays and it was so different. I just loved every moment there.’
Callie’s heart gave a little ping when she saw the way Ben’s eyes were shining. ‘Where did they live?’
‘In Tarbert, on the west shores of Loch Lomond. Donny’s parents own a hotel, but they live in a separate house in the grounds. It’s a beautiful spot, but the thing I always remember is how thrilled Donny’s parents were to have him home and how they made me feel so welcome, too. His father took us out sailing on the loch and hiking in the hills, and his mother cooked all his favourite meals. His little sister was there as well, and in the evenings the whole family played board games or cards, or went for long walks along the beach. It was like nothing I’d ever known.’
‘How lovely.’ Callie knew her voice was a little too shaky now as she wondered what Ben’s home life had been like.
She suspected her smile was shaky, too, especially when she thought about the conversation she’d planned to have with him this evening. All day she’d been ablaze whenever she thought about what might happen tonight, and all she really wanted was to jump right in where they’d left off last night. But she knew she needed to talk a few things through before she got carried away again.
After two rounds of Hoot Owl Hoot followed by a quick bedtime story with Joey, Callie came into the loungeroom to find a bottle of scotch on the coffee table with two glasses and a small bowl of chocolate-covered nuts. No sign of Ben.
He was back in the kitchen, busy with pen and paper and a tape measure.
‘I’ve just been playing around with a few ideas,’ he told her almost sheepishly. ‘I was looking at the possibility of putting in a dishwasher.’
‘Wow.’
‘What do you reckon?’
‘I reckon you’re close to turning this into a dream kitchen.’
‘Well, a step closer to a dream, at any rate.’
‘But maybe you’d also be going to a lot of effort and expense for someone else to enjoy.’
‘There’s that.’ A new wariness crept into Ben’s dark eyes. ‘As I said, I was only playing around.’
Even so, for a fanciful moment, Callie allowed herself to imagine working in the freshly painted kitchen, using a dishwasher that actually worked and filling shelves in the pantry with jars of jams and preserves made from fruit in the Hawkridge orchard.
Get real, girl. Not gonna happen.
Shaking her head to rid herself of such unhelpful daydreams, she quickly changed the subject. ‘Before I forget, Joey wanted me to ask you if owls fart.’
Ben looked momentarily caught out, but then he laughed. ‘I very much doubt that any birds fart, but I don’t know for sure. I guess that’s something Joey and I can google together in the morning.’
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Callie was nervous now as she nodded towards the loungeroom. ‘I noticed that the scotch is waiting for us.’
‘Yes, that bottle has been very patient.’ Ben was still smiling as he reached for her hand, and there was nothing Callie wanted more than to behave like a normal woman attracted to a gorgeous man – to fall into his arms and share a kiss burning with expectation.
But she stayed where she was, with her hands by her sides. ‘Should we go in then?’
‘Sure.’
Ben had obviously sensed her caution. When he joined her on the sofa, he kept a careful distance as he poured the scotch and handed her a glass.
‘Are you okay, Callie?’
She nodded, but when she tried to offer him a reassuring smile, she couldn’t quite manage it. ‘I’m fine, but I’ve been thinking that maybe – before we get too – too relaxed this evening, we should probably have a talk?’
‘About?’
Oh, help, here goes. ‘Us? Last night?’
She took a quick sip of scotch for courage, but it was actually more of a gulp, and a fiery one at that. She set the glass down. She needed a clear head for this.
Glancing at Ben, she caught the intent way he was watching her, and she dropped her gaze to her hands. Her ringless left hand was clasped on her knee. Okay. Deep breath. ‘For a little context, Ben, perhaps I should tell you that last night was the first time I’ve made love in five years.’
‘Since you lost your husband,’ he said gently.
‘Yes.’ She swallowed to ease her tight throat. ‘So, as you might guess, it was kind of a big deal.’ With a wobbly smile, she said, ‘I mean, it would have been a big deal under any circumstances, but it was also – I don’t know – not – not an experiment exactly . . .’
Oh, good grief, that sounded terrible. Callie couldn’t believe she was making such a hash of this. If she wasn’t careful, Ben would jump to his feet and storm back down the hill.
She tried again. ‘Sorry. That came out wrong. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that last night was—’ Help. Here came the cheek-burning blush for the ages. ‘You – you know I loved it, Ben. It was beyond amazing.’ She dropped her gaze to her hands again. ‘But I guess what I might be trying to say is that I know I shouldn’t read too much into it.’
Ben still hadn’t moved, was still watching her in silence, and she realised he was waiting for further explanation.
‘It might have been just a casual bit of fun or – or maybe something more than that.’ Callie paused to swallow again and take a breath. ‘But I’m concerned that we could be getting ourselves into a pretty complicated situation. It’s bigger than just the two of us. I mean, neither of us is unattached. I have my kids and all their friends and activities in Townsville and you have your life in Scotland. And—’
‘Callie, you’re overthinking this.’
‘You reckon?’
Ben seemed about to say something, but then he let out a heavy sigh. ‘Damn it, no. Maybe not.’
Now, for the first time, he reached for his glass and downed half of his drink in one go. ‘I guess we broke the rules of common sense last night.’
‘We should have talked first.’
‘Except I’m pretty sure we would have talked ourselves out of it.’
She couldn’t help a rueful smile. ‘A good chance, I guess.’
‘And that would have been a shame.’
A terrible shame. Feeling braver, Callie said, ‘For the record, Ben, I don’t have regrets.’
The tender look he gave her now almost made her cry. She reached again for her drink and her hand was shaking. Setting the glass on her lap, she forced herself to continue. ‘But I don’t want to mess you around either. I know what you’ve been through with Naomi.’
‘Ah, yes, I guessed that might be bothering you. I’ve probably given the impression I’m a fragile petal.’
‘Well, I know you were extremely upset.’ Then, remembering their teasing conversation on the night they’d first met, she asked, ‘What happened to the tough Scotch thistle?’
‘Touché.’ Ben settled more comfortably on the sofa. ‘Okay. I guess it’s my turn to provide a little context. I should probably confess that before I met Naomi, I made a habit of avoiding commitment. She was the first girl I thought I wanted to marry.’
‘You thought? You were certain, weren’t you?’
‘At the time I was certain, yes. Most definitely. But since the Christmas debacle I’ve had time to reflect, and I’ve come to the uncomfortable conclusion that Naomi might also have been my chance to escape.’
‘Escape?’
‘From the parts of my life I wasn’t enjoying.’
‘Oh? I see. I assume you mean the banking world. The family business.’
Ben nodded. ‘I’m the outlier in my family. I actually love working on the land, being outdoors instead of in an office. They don’t get it, of course. My father and siblings get their thrills from donning Italian suits and scaling the heady heights of business. They’re waiting for me to get over this stint in Australia and come to my senses.’
‘I assume they’re expecting you’ll be back in July after the sale?’
‘Of course. If I don’t go back, they’ll probably give up on me. Cut me out.’
This sounded dire. Callie was about to ask what it meant exactly, when Ben continued.
‘Don’t get me wrong,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t playing with Naomi – or at least I didn’t believe I was. Certainly not at the time. But I’m afraid it is true that I don’t have the best track record with women, and you were probably very wise to suggest we have this talk.’ Ben’s mouth tilted in what might have been an attempt to smile that didn’t quite work. ‘Unfortunately.’
In the silence that followed, the house and the night outside were so quiet that Callie was sure she could hear her heart beating. It was some time before she found the courage to ask her next question.
‘So where does this leave us, Ben?’
He took almost as long to answer. But then, ‘Back where we started, I guess. Co-owners of Hawkridge who plan to sell in a couple of months’ time.’
Kathunk. Callie couldn’t believe the way her spirits dropped, as if she was a failed rocket launch crashing back to Earth.
This was exactly what she’d feared – that her pesky questions would have to finish things with Ben before they’d properly started. It meant losing everything – not just their lovemaking last night – Ben had so many other admirable qualities and her kids adored him, especially Joey.
But the assumption from the start was that her connection with this man would not extend beyond the twelve months’ pause requested by Sandy’s will. And she’d tried to make sure her kids understood this as well.
Now, as Callie thought about her children, she remembered she was waiting for a call from Jenna. She’d left her phone in the kitchen and it was a chance to escape, to swipe at her threatening tears and try to compose herself.
‘Excuse me for a moment, Ben. I need to check my phone. I’m waiting for a call from Jenna.’
Hurrying through to the other room, she found a message from Grace excitedly reporting they’d won both the day’s games. There was no mention of Jenna and no text from her, but the movie probably hadn’t finished yet.
‘Jenna’s out on her first date tonight,’ she told Ben when she came back, but she couldn’t hold back a small wince as she contemplated the weird coincidence that mother and daughter had both ventured into brand-new relationship territory within the same twenty-four hours. She set her phone down on the coffee table, then reached for her drink and finished it quickly.
