Real World, page 26
“I know, right? It could cause problems.”
“It could. Because I burn for you.”
It should have been dorky; it should have been over the top and ridiculous. It wasn’t.
It made him feel like he was thirty feet tall.
They cuddled in and lazed a bit, conversation dwindling. They didn’t sleep. They just basked.
Sort of like lizards, but with less tongue.
Chapter Thirty-Three
DAN’S PHONE buzzed, and he frowned, lifting his head off the hammock he’d strung up on the back porch. Everyone was gone, he had a moment to nap, and he was starting to kinda dread the phone ringing when Weldon was out of his sight.
When he glanced at the screen, though, he saw Hank Halloran’s number pop up. A fellow captain, Hank had been a good friend while Dan was over in the Middle East.
“Hello?”
“Well, I’ll be goddamned, you aren’t dead, you son of a bitch. You muster out and fall off the edge of the friggin’ world.” The slow drawl sounded as filthy as it ever had.
“Yeah, yeah. I never know when to call you. What if you’re deployed?” The excuse was bullshit. He hadn’t thought about Hank in months.
“Fucking liar. I’m heading to Ranger school tomorrow, so I figured I’d call and crow.”
“Good deal. If you’re happy, I’m happy.” He chuckled, which let Hank know what he thought.
“Jealous bastard.” Hank’s crow made him pull the phone away from his ear. “If you re-up, I bet you could get into… well, at least airborne school.”
“I could get myself into Ranger school, thank you.” Dan rolled out of the hammock and began pacing.
“Maybe they’d let you do medic training….” Oh, asshole.
“You’re pushing your luck. You gonna tell me how your best years were in military intelligence next?” Hank was covering every lie every jerk on earth told about their time in the military.
“Nah. The spooks are fuckmonkeys. Only thing worse is dit-dots. My best years were in psyops.”
“Nutburger.” Dan hooted. “What’s up, you old bastard?”
“Same shit, different day. I’m getting too old for this shit, but I can’t do anything else, so I’m hoping they’ll kill my ass. You?” Hank was like him, in more ways than one. Military out of high school, queer, utterly incapable of not being a soldier.
“I’m good.” Dan wasn’t sure what else to say. Hank would never understand the life he had now. “Running my own crew. Only difference is if I bark orders, these hippies stare at me and tell me this is Austin.”
“Yeah? How many have quit on you?”
“Lots.”
“It’s more fun when they have to take it.”
“Way more.” Hank wasn’t unfair, and Dan had always been tough but firm. Civilian life was way less… structured, was all.
“So, tell me shit? You still living with your folks? You want to go to the Bahamas and hook up if they don’t kill my ass first?”
“No, I am not with Mom and Dad or Dix. I moved out. And I would take you up in a heartbeat, but I got something going on.”
There was a pause—surely not a hurt one, because they’d never been a thing. A random blowjob, a friendly hand, but nothing more. “No shit? Well, goddamn. I never thought of you as a ‘living with’ sort of man.”
Dan chuckled. “Me either. Domestic bliss, you know?”
“Closest I’ll ever get to that is a shared MRE. I’m a lifer.”
“I know. Sometimes I envy you, bud.” Not true. Not really, but Dan thought Hank needed to hear it.
“Yeah, well, not everyone can be as kickass as me.”
“Did you say kiss ass?”
“Fuck you, motherfucker.” Hank was getting loud and rowdy, and Dan had to laugh.
“Didn’t that always work the other way around, Hank?”
“Watch it, pansy-ass. You’re not a soldier anymore. I could fuck you into oblivion and make you like it.” Hank’s laugh was teasing, more than a bit evil. “Tell me about him?”
He grabbed himself a swig from his beer, kicking the loose board on the back porch. Man, he needed to fix that. Someone would trip, sure as shit. With his luck, Emma’d been “borrowing” lumber to build a rack to use to torture Kenzie or something.
“His name is Weldon. Well, that’s his last name, but we all call him that. He’s a hot little blond.”
“What’s he do?”
“Finish carpentry and hand carving work. He’s really talented.” Dan wanted to mention the kids, but Hank—well, that could get weird fast.
“That’s different. How the hell did y’all hook up?”
“His son takes guitar lessons from Dix.” Dan almost held his breath, waiting to see what Hank would say, which was ridiculous.
“Dix your brother? The blind one?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh.” There was a long pregnant pause, and Dan knew there was a raft of shit coming. “So you’ve got yourself a sugar daddy. Impressive.”
“Hey, now.” Dan chuckled, but he wasn’t really all that amused. “Trust me, I’m not getting any kind of free ride here.”
“So, how old is he?”
“You mean Weldon? He’s thirty-five.”
“No, dipshit.” He heard the click of Hank’s lighter, the long draw of cigarette. “The boy.”
“Jakob is sixteen. Maddie twelve, Emma is nine, Kenzie is six, and Caleb is four.” Ta-da. The truth was out.
“Wait. What?” The utter shock in Hank’s voice made his cheeks burn.
“Yep. Five kids. It’s like a TV show.”
“Seriously? You must really miss us, White, to hook up with someone that needed five little ones to order around.”
“I guess I must.” Dan tried for some Army hooah. “Not that a dad of five has anything on ordering all those men around. I can do his job with one arm tied behind my back.”
“Well, he is a civilian, right? If you couldn’t handle it, I’d wonder about you. Now a wingnut or a road bump? They might not be up to the job, but….”
“If I need a challenge, I’ll re-up. God knows the colonel keeps asking me.” He didn’t bother telling Hank that he’d stopped really even answering those phone calls.
“Well, come on! I’m telling you, you and me, we could fuck up the whole goddamn world together.”
“Maybe I will. I miss the life, you know? God knows I could use a challenge once in a while.” Right. As if he could go back. The nightmares, the jumping at every fucking loud noise…. He’d fail the psych eval, sure as shit. Just the thought of trying it and failing made him queasy. “Sometimes I look at all this and think that I’m wasted as a glorified babysitter. At least in the service they paid for medical, right?”
“Like you don’t get the VA, asshat.”
“Yeah, you wait until you have the joy of waiting in line at the VA. Then you really feel like a worthless limp dick.” He sighed, rubbed the back of his neck. Christ, he thought this was gone, the pressure of not knowing for sure that paycheck was coming, of not knowing that there was a mess hall, an order to the universe. “Sometimes I wonder how anyone lives like this.”
“I guess you just learn to deal with it.” The answer came, not from the phone, but from behind him.
Dan turned around, finding six sets of eyes watching him, Weldon and the kids standing at the bottom of the steps. Christ, Emma looked as if she was gonna bawl any minute.
“Hank, I have to go, huh? I’ll give you a call.”
“Sure, buddy. I’m heading out Wednesday next. Holler at me.”
“Inside, beasts, let’s put the groceries away. Maddie, you got Dan’s lunch?”
“Uh-huh.” Maddie handed it over, cheeks bright red. “We got you a bacon burger and curly fries, no pickles.”
“Thanks, kiddo. I’ll be there in a sec.” He needed to talk to Weldon first. Explain.
“Whatever. Daddy, can I go to my room?”
“Sure, baby girl.”
“Thank you.” Maddie left, and Caleb latched on to her as she went by.
“Yeah, Emma, help me put the food away,” Jakob said, and they fled, Kenzie following.
Weldon looked at him, lips tight. Dan kept waiting for Weldon to say something, anything, but nothing came out.
Weldon watched him like you’d watch a dog that might bite.
“Weldon—” Dan held out a hand. “Hank is…. He gets me all riled up.”
“I can understand that. You pondering going back in?”
“I was a while back. I get a weekly e-mail from my old CO.” Dan shook his head. “I mean, I don’t even read them anymore.”
“Ah. Well, I mean, that’s good, right? Are you unhappy here, honey? I thought…. Shit, I don’t know. I thought things were going good.”
“Of course not!” Dan’s cheeks heated, because he felt like an idiot getting caught bullshitting an old Army buddy. “I just miss doing something that makes a difference sometimes.”
Weldon’s face went white for a second, then turned a deep, dark red. “Well, I mean you can do my job with one hand tied behind your back.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Dan snapped. “Did you learn that from your wife? Because, I tell you what, that’s not how men are supposed to fight.”
“I suppose I did.” He’d never heard that before, that dead ice in Weldon’s voice. “I learned a lot from loving her. Let me grab you your car keys. You’re fixin’ to take a ride.”
“What?” Dan tilted his head, feeling like a puppy hearing a whistle and not knowing what it meant.
“I’m going to give you the keys to your truck. You’re going to take a drive. I don’t fight in front of my kids, and we’re fixin’ to get ugly. Go see your brother. Go have a beer. Go see a movie. Go do something that makes a difference. I don’t give a shit right now.” Weldon turned on his heels and headed in, then came back with Dan’s wallet and his keys. “You got your lunch. You’re good to go.”
Dan blinked. “You’re kicking me out?” He took his pocket items, though, because a man never knew when someone would toss them out in the pasture or something.
“I’m telling you to go take a motherfucking drive before I lose my shit and say something I might regret. I would go, but my kids are here, and I’m not going to leave them. They’re stressed out enough already.”
Dan stared at Weldon, who flat-out gave him the greasy eyeball. Then he nodded sharply. “I’ll call before I come home.”
“Hey.” Weldon’s voice stopped him about halfway to the truck. “I love you.”
“What?”
“I just…. You never know when something happens. You heard me.” Weldon turned and headed back into the house without another word.
Dan shook his head, not sure if he would ever understand this complicated man. He hopped into his truck but took the time to text Weldon before he drove away.
Love u 2.
Chapter Thirty-Four
WELDON OPENED the door for Blake and Travis. He’d called them as soon as the youngest three had hied off to Mel’s for Sponge Bob. Jakob and Maddie were hiding in their rooms, and he needed….
Hell, he needed a friend. A beer. A hug.
“Hey. You look like hell,” Blake said, setting aside a six-pack and a bag of pork rinds.
“We had a fight.” He’d never fought with Dan before. He was just… lost. “Can I…. Would it be a pussy move to ask for a hug, man?”
“No.” Blake moved right in to give him a hug, warm and perfect.
Travis walked up behind him, solid and warm, and they held him. He closed his eyes and let them.
They stood there with him until Weldon pulled away, clearing his throat. “Pork rinds, huh?”
Blake nodded. “Crunchy and salty.”
“Goes good with beer,” Travis added. “Tell me you have salsa.”
“Duh. I am a living, breathing Texan.”
“You’re right. Sorry.” Travis went to dig in the fridge.
Blake popped a top and handed a beer over. “Talk to me.”
“He wants to go back in the service, I think. He was on the phone to someone, talking about going back in and how I was a shitty dad.”
Blake fluttered and clucked, but Travis peered at him over one shoulder, frowning. “Now, Weldon, was it one of his old Army buddies?”
“I don’t know. I guess? We weren’t home. We walked in on him talking.”
“And what? He ran off without explaining?” Blake was frowning, thunderclouds gathering.
“No. I told him to take a drive. The kids were freaked out. Emma lost her shit.” They didn’t know how to have a step… a co-parent? A dude who lived there? Christ.
“Oh.” Blake looked disappointed.
Travis just chuckled. “Ah, well, that means y’all need to sit and discuss what happens when you fight.”
“I know. I know, but… I didn’t even know he was unhappy. Shit, with all the mess I’m dealing with right now, I didn’t need this from him. I didn’t need to doubt him.” Weldon didn’t need to doubt whether Dan thought he was important, whether the kids were important.
Blake hugged him again, one armed this time. “I’m sorry, hon. I know he’s mad for you.”
“I thought so too.” He really had, but…. Shit, between the knowledge that the Army was calling and Dan hadn’t said and the whole “hand behind my back” comment and the fact that Dan had suggested he wasn’t manly enough?
He didn’t feel like Dan was mad for him. Maybe trapped by him.
That was so much worse.
Travis laid out salsa and chips and beer and Cheez Whiz from somewhere. “You know what your problem is, Weldon?”
I’m a bisexual guy with five kids, a dead wife, and a meth-head dude who wants my eldest? “I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“Yep.” Travis met his gaze, smiling gently. Nothing evil. “Blake here is your best guy friend. At least during your formative years, he was. You don’t get bullshit male bluster. You’re just straightforward.”
“What is there to bluster about?” He leaned forward and took a bite of tortilla chips and salsa. “Seriously? Who has that kind of time?”
“Someone who spent most of his adult life without five kids?” Blake rolled his eyes.
“Shut up, asshole.”
“No, he’s right.” Travis held up a hand when Weldon glared. “This man has spent his entire adult life in the military learning the weird mating dance of macho assholes. When faced with that environment, even via a phone call, he’s going to beat his chest and growl like a caveman.”
“And what? I’m…. Shit, I don’t even fucking know. I never had to worry about this before. I came home, I helped out, I loved on her and took her out when she needed it. I feel like Dan thinks I’m… I don’t know. A faker or something.”
Dan was a hero, a gay man in the Army. He’d never dated a man as an adult before.
“No. No, I know better.” Blake said it firmly. “I mean, I know the kids scared the hell out of him to begin with, but he admires you.”
Travis sighed. “Just remember that he’s scared, huh? I know, just from talking to him, that he’s stressing the details. He’s never earned a paycheck that wasn’t from the Army before this thing with Scott, and hell, you got him that job.”
“He’s the one that kept it.”
“Sure he is.” Travis shrugged. “It sucks to fight. It sucks to be in a new relationship, and you have to worry twice as much because he’s got your kids’ hearts on the line too.”
“It does. They love him. The little ones especially.”
“Yep.” Travis fed him a chicharrón. “He’s also got to be worried because you had a wife.”
“I’m not going to apologize for that. I loved her.”
Blake slapped his arm. “He didn’t say you should apologize. I loved her. But he’s got to be wigged a bit.”
“I didn’t ask to be this way.”
“Oh, hon, you really are spoiling for a fight.” Blake chuckled.
“I wasn’t! I wanted to come home, have a nooner and a fucking nap!”
“Well, now we really get to the bottom of it. He missed his nookie.” Travis handed him another beer.
“Yeah.” Maybe that was it. Maybe he needed to shut up and suck it up and let it go. Dan would do what he would do. His job was his kids first.
“Hey.” Blake touched his wrist. “Y’all need to talk, but Dan likes his life. He says so.”
“I know. I’m sure he’s at his brother’s. Him and Dixon are close.”
“Good. Dixon will set him right,” Travis said. “And if he doesn’t, Audie will.”
“It’ll all come out in the wash, that’s for sure.” He didn’t know what else to say. He wasn’t giving up on Dan. Love didn’t give up.
Weldon set his jaw. Right. Love didn’t give up. They’d have to talk, though, and Weldon would explain how Dan had to be careful with the kids.
Because love was one thing, his babies were another altogether.
Chapter Thirty-Five
DAN HAD no idea where he was going until he pulled up in front of the gate at Dixon’s. Hell, where else was he gonna go? He couldn’t handle his folks’ condo right now.
Weldon just threw him out.
Weldon.
His Weldon.
What the ever-loving fuck?
Dan called Dix before he opened the gate, his truck idling on the side of the road.
“Hey, Bubba. What’s up?”
“Are y’all busy? Weldon and I had a spat.” He hoped. “I, uh, might need a place to hang out.”
“Come on. I’m just picking. I’ll meet you on the back porch.” The easy eagerness in Dixon’s voice made him smile, even though he thought he didn’t have any smiles in him.
“Thanks, bro.” He got through the gate and down the drive so he could park by the house. Dix was waiting for him, Boomer woofing when Dan mounted the steps.
“Hey, sweet boy.” He scritched ears and plopped down on one of the huge chairs. “Where are the kiddos?”
“With Ron’s folks. They always spend the first little bit of summer with them.”
