The Mortal Mage, page 33
part #3 of The Mortal Mage Series
“It’s going to feel like that until we succeed. It always has for me, ever since we realized Leida’s family had gone off to Kanoan.”
“But we’ve succeeded many times since then. You never felt anything but failure?”
“Only failure,” she confirmed. “Like the world is crumbling apart, and soon it will break completely.”
She seemed stricken with worry, her eyes glistening. Desil knew the feeling of despair well, for he often felt it when speaking with Leida. He’d suffered more in the last few months than in every painful moment of his life added together, but none of his dangerous fights or miserable treks compared to this hopeless feeling. He never thought Adriya could feel this way too, but there was no mistaking her expression of terrible suffering.
“We’ve accomplished a lot so far,” he said. “There have been swings of success between the failures. We found Leida’s family in Kanoan. We figured out how to use the akorell to make an explosion. We obtained all the akorell we need. We’ve kept it safe and will continue to do so.”
“And your father died in the process.”
Desil was more shocked than saddened to see Adriya shed a tear as she spoke those words.
“I had no idea it affected you this much.”
“Every death does!” She wiped away her tear, her face tightening to show her insult. “Especially losing someone as close to you as your father.” More tears fell. She gave up trying to wipe them and covered her face instead. “And so many of my friends have been killed. I started a list many times, but I can never get through it. Most of them are even younger than me.”
Desil gave his shoulder for her to lean on as he put his arm around her. He didn’t have any close friends to lose, besides the people he had met since leaving his home. He thought about what it would be like if any of them died. Even losing one would devastate him. He couldn’t imagine two perishing, and especially not three. The only reason he’d accepted that his father truly was dead was because he already had grieved that loss once before. The time they’d spent together after he discovered Wade was still alive was the greatest gift Desil could’ve asked for. Yes, Wade was taken away afterward in an explosion, but that just made their short journey together in Kanoan even more precious.
“No one deals with death well,” he told Adriya. “But some of us have more practice than others. It took me a while to figure out that it was all right to feel everything I was feeling. It was all right to be vulnerable. It’s the same for feeling scared about what we have to do. It’s normal to feel this way. I’m terrified, Adriya. I, too, feel like the world is crumbling apart and that it’s up to us to stop it. Yet there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.”
She sat up and wiped her tears. “I feel the same way.”
*****
This was the second night that Desil guarded the akorell. He spent his time much like the first, grasping for that connection to the land he’d once felt in the arena, when he knew he could liquefy the entire ground there if he wanted. To achieve this, he needed the perfect balance between the planes—a state where his mind existed equally in both.
Fatholl knew how to do this, Desil was sure. It gave Fatholl more power with psyche than any other psychic. Perhaps he used this power to manipulate the Elves. Desil wished he had some way of proving it, even to himself, but it was just a theory.
Basen had not shown up last night, but it seemed unlikely for him to wait another day because Fatholl didn’t need to wait another day. Basen would come soon.
With the help of Krepps, the Wind Knights had melted the akorell and reshaped it into squares that were long and thin. When the catapult was ready, they would be stacked on top of each other to make symmetrical walls. The cluster of eppil vines would be launched by the catapult between these walls of akorell, which would have tremendous amounts of bastial energy stored in them. The eppil vines would suck the bastial energy out of the akorell walls to become a volatile flying ball of death. It should explode when it struck something, as it had at the Marros’ home in Kanoan. The force of the blast should be enough to knock down any castle, wall, or even part of a mountain. It would create chunks of bastial steel, which could be used to make swords for the Krepps who proved themselves in the arena, the same Krepps who would fight alongside Desil’s party and the Wind Knights in the upcoming battle.
Desil still didn’t know who their opponents would be, when the battle would occur, or where. But there would be a fight against other people or Elves at some time in the near future, because one or both races were not going to allow the Wind Knights to use the threat of this weapon to end the war and free Leida.
The akorell was kept in a shed not too far from the arena. They wanted Basen to find it, after all. Fatholl had control over him, but that should change tonight.
After a few hours of standing outside the shed, Desil heard someone coming toward him from the side. He turned too late to defend himself as a cloaked man wrapped his forearm around Desil’s neck.
Wait Basen, don’t do this. But Desil couldn’t speak with his air restricted.
Basen had a tight hold, using his other hand to keep his arm in place as Desil tried to pry it off.
“Don’t fight it,” Basen said. “I’m not going to kill you.”
But Desil thrashed in hopes of freeing himself. When it didn’t work, he tried to elbow Basen but couldn’t get the angle he needed. Desil softened the ground so that both of them sunk into it waist-deep, but Basen kept hold. There was no reason to bury both of them completely, so Desil fought back with his strength instead.
He bent forward in hopes of picking Basen off the ground and throwing him over his shoulder, but Desil had made a grave mistake putting them in the ground. The dirt allowed Basen to stay on his feet easier.
“You’re going to be fine,” Basen promised.
Desil realized it was over. He tried to relax, noticing a stink as if Basen hadn’t had a chance to bathe in quite some time.
Everything started to fade. All that was left was the stench of the man who was once a headmaster, but soon that faded too.
*****
When Desil came to, his head was too heavy to make sense of what had happened. He saw sights and heard sounds, but nothing registered until the cloaked man looked at him, and Desil recognized the burden in Basen’s dark eyes.
“I’m sorry, Desil. He’s going to kill Leida if I don’t do this.”
Desil’s mouth felt hampered by something. His wits still hadn’t returned, so he tried to speak through the gag. He didn’t even know what he was trying to say. Nothing came out anyway.
He noticed that Basen had tied him to a chair. The two of them were inside the shed. Before coming here, Basen had either broken the lock or taken the key from Reela’s pocket while she slept. If he’d broken the lock, someone would’ve heard. But to take the key from Reela’s pocket meant he had to have figured out it was there.
Desil tried to speak again. He needed to ask Basen more than a few things, as Basen hurried to place the thin squares of akorell into a large sack. He’d removed the bastial energy stored from all the metal except one square. It glowed only dimly, providing just enough light for the small shed.
“If I take out your gag, do you swear not to scream?” Basen asked.
Desil nodded.
Basen untied the cloth. Desil spat out the clump of fabric.
“You must’ve come here last night,” Desil surmised. “You spied until you figured out where we’re keeping the akorell and the key.”
“Yes. There are enough humans here for the Krepps not to wonder about me. I just had to keep my distance and especially stay away from those who know me.”
“We can get Leida out together. You know where she’s being kept. You just have to show me, and I can get past any wall. I’ve done it plenty of times already.”
Basen stopped loading the squares of akorell to glance at Desil. The sack was already on a wagon. Basen would soon pull it out of here, head back to the arena, and take a portal to the Elven village.
“We can’t sneak past psychics to get to her,” he told Desil.
“You did that to get inside this shed.”
“I had to get past one sleeping psychic. There will be thousands of Elves stopping us from getting to Leida, and that’s if they don’t see us take a portal into the center of their territory. They’re expecting my return. There’s nothing else we can do, Desil. The only option is giving Fatholl the akorell.”
“You would give up everything that you and the rest of us have worked toward to get this akorell here?”
“She’s my daughter!” Basen snapped. He put up his hand to silence Desil as he listened for anyone who might’ve heard. Then Basen went back to loading the akorell as quietly as he could.
“I understand that,” Desil said. “But it doesn’t change what I said.”
“I figured you would understand. I know the two of you have been speaking. I know how much she cares about you. It’s reciprocated, isn’t it?”
Desil nodded.
“I don’t blame you for choosing to keep the akorell,” Basen continued. “I realize the decision must’ve been difficult.”
“We thought you wanted us to keep it.”
“I did, but I also thought that we could stand against Fatholl and that he wouldn’t kill my daughter because he would fear our retaliation. But he won. He convinced me of the truth. There will be no retaliation for any crimes against me or my family. We’re too far removed from Kyrro now. Traitors.”
“At least stay long enough to plan with me.”
“Plan what?” Basen asked.
“What we will do after we give the akorell to Fatholl.”
“You and everyone else will stay here. I will give the akorell to him and take care of my daughter.”
“And then what?”
Basen gave no answer.
Desil asked, “Did Leida tell you what Adriya has said about the war? Do you know how many have died and will continue to perish?”
“I know.”
“We can put an end to it. We just need the akorell. If you must give it to Fatholl to save Leida, at least tell me how you plan to get it back afterward. Fatholl has gone too far this time. He has made himself an enemy. We’re ready for orders.” Desil paused until he could make sure he really meant his next words. “We’re ready for battle.”
“Desil, I’m going to have to tell Fatholl everything we speak about. There are no plans to get the akorell back. There never will be. You have to let it go. There will certainly be no battle.”
“What do you expect the rest of us to do after you take it?” Desil replied angrily.
Basen finished loading the last of the akorell and closed the sack. “I can’t stay here and discuss that with you any longer. It’s up to the rest of you what you want to do now. Not me.”
“We’re ready for orders, Headmaster,” Desil repeated as Basen started to retie the gag around the back of his head. “We’re ready for battle.”
Basen finished putting the gag in. The corner of Basen’s mouth quivered as he looked down at Desil. “I’m sorry,” he said as a tear fell down his cheek. “I never should’ve gotten you involved. I never should’ve gotten anyone involved.”
Basen opened the door to the shed, then looked around carefully. He pushed the cart out, then came back to close the door.
“Tell them I’m sorry,” he said, then left Desil in the empty shed. There had been light and warmth in here, but now it was cold and dark.
CHAPTER THIRTY
There were many curiosities that went through Leida’s mind as she waited to find out if she would live or die. What would’ve happened if she’d never left the Academy to look for her family, or if her father had never found Desil at Lake Kayvol? She would’ve fought in the war, beside Erwal eventually. She might’ve died in battle, but at least there was honor in that. Her name would be inscribed upon the wall at Redfield in the Academy, like so many others whose deaths had served to keep the walls standing. If she didn’t die in battle, she was certain Erwal would find some way of making her life miserable. It wasn’t on purpose. It was because he felt he deserved her, like she was an object he had purchased and someone else had taken her from him. She could tell by his looks of betrayal after she’d said she wanted nothing to do with him.
She might’ve been better off staying at the Academy, but what would’ve become of her mother and father? They probably would’ve been picked up by Marros, and Desil wouldn’t have been there to climb up and fetch them from the high cave.
Desil would’ve done that for anyone. When asked why, he’d give the simple reason that it was because he could.
She met a lot of students at the Academy, mostly other mages like herself. They were more competitive than she was, but that might’ve been because she was usually the best at manipulating bastial energy. Her father was in the same position when he was a student. Most people knew this. They also knew that she was born at the Academy and had lived there her whole life, her father teaching her from a young age how to manipulate energy. Some mages resented her for this advantage. She couldn’t imagine Desil resenting anyone for something like this. It was clear when they’d met that he longed to train at the Academy, but he’d never shown any jealousy toward her or Adriya. Leida was sure she’d never met anyone near her age who cared more about helping people than Desil did.
She never realized until now how much of a comfort it was to spend time with him. She’d become used to such comfort while growing up with her parents, two people who’d dedicated their lives to making the world better for others. But she’d never felt it from any of her friends.
She remembered putting her head on Desil’s shoulder during their trek through Kanoan. She didn’t know what it was at the time that had drawn her toward him, but she had nothing but time now to dwell on all her thoughts and memories. It was probably the only thing clear to her anymore. He made her feel that there were endless possibilities in a world where she’d only known one path previously. She was supposed to train to be a mage, then find work or end up as an instructor. But then she’d met Desil and her opinion of herself had changed.
However, now she really was only an object, no better than what Erwal saw her to be. Fatholl used her value to her father to get what he wanted. If it didn’t work, he would discard her, for she was of no use to him. She was beginning to believe that she was of no use to anyone.
She wondered how the Elf would kill her. A knife to the heart seemed like something he’d choose. Would he do it himself? Would he have her father watch, or would Fatholl present her body to him later? What would he do with her father afterward? Basen would be too dangerous to be let go, for he would gather any loyal men and women he could to exact revenge. More would die. Perhaps she could convince him of this before she was executed, make him promise not to strive for revenge.
Desil had given her hope again that she might live. The days had been easier for her since then, not that she knew exactly how many had passed. She wondered what she looked like now, having gone so long without a bath.
She never regretted what she did to get herself thrown in here. If she hadn’t interrupted Fatholl’s portal-maker, then Fatholl would’ve brought a small army back through the portal to quickly kill Desil before he could get away with the akorell. He would probably be dead by now, along with Beatrix and Kirnich, and the akorell would be with Fatholl. Leida and her father would be free, but why would that matter?
Her father couldn’t return to Kyrro to fight because Allephon would imprison or kill him for openly going against the crown. Leida might be able to swear an oath to fight, never to see her father again. She would be with her mother and Adriya, and the few friends left who hadn’t perished. It wasn’t much of a life to lead knowing that they’d failed and that Desil, Beatrix, and Kirnich were dead, while her father was exiled or hanged.
When the same thoughts weren’t cycling through Leida’s mind, she was practicing gathering bastial energy or visiting the other plane. Some of the master mage instructors she’d had over the years had actually given her the advice to find a secluded place where no one would interrupt her, and then train for days, until she ran out of food or water. Leida’s control over bastial energy had improved during this time—proving it had been good advice—but all her efforts would be for nothing if she died.
Reela’s half-brother, Vithos, no longer brought food to Leida or her father. Fatholl probably no longer trusted Vithos to stay loyal. If Vithos saw how miserable they were, he might risk everything to free them. She had hoped he would come to do so, and she could tell Desil that she and her father were out.
It was too late now. Her father had already left to fetch the akorell. She shouldn’t have lied to Desil and Adriya about her father still being here. He had left many hours before she’d spoken to Desil. It was the last cowardly thing she would do before she died. Fatholl had told her he would cut out her eyes if she revealed that Basen had already left, and she believed the Elf would do it.
She should’ve yelled at him to do it before her father left. Perhaps she could’ve angered Fatholl into killing her, so her father would have no reason to take the akorell. But she was scared of death and of losing her eyes. Erwal had said she was a coward. He was right. She’d almost fled from the first and only battle she was in against Tenred. She still had stomach-turning memories from that fight, of shooting down a woman in the trees. Kirnich had chopped off her head. The amount of blood that had sprayed out didn’t seem to be real, as if it were part of a play with intentions to horrify the audience.
Leida could still feel the pain in her back from the man who had slashed his sword across her flesh. But she thought about all the agony and misery of the rest of the people who’d taken blows during this war. Then she thought about all who had died. The suffering that they and their loved ones felt was immeasurably greater than the cost of Leida’s life. She wasn’t sure how she could even go on if her father did trade her life for the akorell. How would she ever get past the guilt? She couldn’t, especially if Fatholl used the weapon to kill more humans, as she was sure he would eventually.
