For Better or Hearse: A Novel, page 17
Gritting his teeth, he tears a hand through his hair. Waits. Fucking reckless woman.
Seconds later, she sputters to the surface. Hair plastered to her face, she shakes her head like a wet dog. She’s smiling. “Fuck. It is fucking cold!”
He almost smiles, but he holds tight to his grin so she can’t see it.
For some reason, he’s glad. That she likes the water.
Keeping her in his sight, he walks down to the beach. “And I thought I liked danger.”
She snorts. “Admit it. You were secretly hoping I cracked open my skull.”
“No place to bury the body,” he says, wading into the water. “How would that look?”
Ash hoots. “I demand a beach run.” Her eyes drift over him with heated appreciation. A rush of pleasure hits him. Ash liking his body does more for his ego than he’ll ever admit.
Arms arcing, he swims toward her.
“Look at that,” she drawls. “No emotion. No scream. Just a robot-like propensity for cold.” Ash bobs up and down, goading him as he gets deeper.
The outlines of her nipples are visible through the thin fabric of her bikini top.
Fuck. He’s done.
Ash floats backward, arms slicing the water. “This is good for him.” She casts a sideways glance at Augustus.
Beside him, Tate is crouched on a rock, gesticulating furiously. Adjusting his glasses, Augustus leans in, gives his grandson his familiar, patient smile.
“I think so too.” Nathaniel sighs. “Even if Tate is forcing him to listen to his podcast.”
Ash laughs. Water pebbles her face, one bead balancing precariously on her full bottom lip. The urge to lick it away surges through him like a wildfire.
She twists away from him. He follows.
Silently, they swim through the turquoise water until they’re in a cove shielded by tall rock walls.
“Wow,” Ash says as she takes in the cove. She stands, her upper torso rising above the water. Water sluices over her perky breasts.
Nathaniel tries not to stare. Fails miserably.
“This place is like a sitting duck for a maniac.”
A smile tickles his lips. “Always the macabre on your mind.”
Those gray-green eyes glimmer. “Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.”
“You want to play?” he asks. “Truth/lie?”
Her gaze narrows in suspicion. “Is this your cheat code to getting me to like you?”
“You already like me.”
She splashes him. “So cocky.”
His feet touch the bottom of the lagoon. Sand and seaweed. “Okay, Bigfoot. If you could be a cryptid, which one would you choose?”
Her eyes light up. He’s piqued her interest. For some reason, it makes him happy to see that she’s happy.
“Banshee,” he asks, “or a fury?”
A burst of laughter escapes her mouth. “I’m sorry, excuse me? You did research. On cryptids?” Smiling, she swims toward him.
His ears flame. He did. Last night at the bar before she joined him, he couldn’t resist googling the term.
She schools her expression into one of faux seriousness, mouth fixed in a straight line, brow slightly furrowed. “You better take that to the grave, Doctor Whitford.”
“I’ll be sure to delete my search history,” he says dryly.
“Since you’re asking…” She searches his face, and he resists the urge to call the game off. Like she’s seeing too much of him.
“Neither,” she says. “I would choose to be Jenny Greenteeth. A monster swamp hag who lives in a bog. If anyone gets too close, I drown them.” Her lips curl. “Then eat them.”
He chokes on a laugh. “That can’t be a real thing.”
“Oh, I regret to inform you, it is very real. And it will terrify you.” Expression wondering, she tilts her head. “What about you?”
He shifts, uncomfortable. Again, with her searching eyes, her earnest questions.
He offers a shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe a Wendigo.”
“No way.” She runs her hand along his jaw. The touch of her silk, fire. “I think you’d be Mothman. You act big and scary, but really, you’re just misunderstood. You’re kind and sweet when you want to be.”
When she drops her hand, Nathaniel abandons his fight to stay restrained. He captures her slim wrist. Pulls her toward him. “Is that what you think of me?”
Her teeth sink into her full bottom lip for a second. “I think so,” she admits. “I think a lot of things I thought about you were wrong.”
“Here’s another truth,” he says, running his fingers over the thin, delicate skin on the inside of her wrist. The pulse that beats there. “I can’t stop thinking about that kiss.”
Usually, he wouldn’t try so hard. Be so goddamn desperate. But he can’t help it. This woman is keeping him afloat on this trip. Keeping him sane. Alive.
She bites her lip, looking suddenly shy and soft. Immediately, he’s snared by the contradictions that are Ash Keller. Her girlish flushed cheeks alongside the sharp, dark cat eye. Her quirky love for cryptids balanced by her love for his grandfather.
Now that he’s unlocked a little bit of her, he wants more. A hell of a lot more.
Hesitating, she sinks her teeth into her lower lip.
“You do that a lot,” Nathaniel says. “Bite your lip when you’re nervous.”
A cool brow arched. “You notice when I’m nervous?”
The words roll off his tongue before he can stop them. “I notice everything about you.”
Her kohl-lined eyes widen. The tantalizing flush on her face ruins him. That’s what finally does it. He’s officially lost the battle he’s been fighting for the last few days. “I liked our kiss.”
At his honesty, the wariness in her eyes turns to consideration.
“I liked the kiss too.” She ducks her dark head. But rather than swim away from him, like he expects, she drifts toward him.
“So what do we do about it?” His voice is hoarse.
“What if we…kissed sometimes?” Ash suggests. Sunlight falls across her face, highlights the hazy need in her eyes as she seems to battle some internal struggle. “No big deal, right? No big…commitment?”
He nods, suddenly dry-mouthed. “Right.”
“A truth just between us,” she whispers. “No one else knows. Not even Augustus.”
His hopeful heart hammers. “You want to do this?”
They stare at each other, heated, searching. For a long second, the only sound is the lap of water against the rock walls. The splash of the waterfall outside the cave.
And then, her expression turning determined, Ash simply says, “Yes.”
That’s all it takes.
He yanks her against him. Ready for it, Ash loops her legs around his waist. She’s soft and lush against the hardness of his chest. Heat spiraling through his ribs, he lowers his lips to hers. Christ, he loves the way she tastes. Soft and salty and sweet.
She runs her hands through his hair. Whimpers into his mouth. The sexiest, neediest sound he’s ever heard.
He palms the curve of her hip. Tangles the tie of her bikini bottom around his fingers. Pressing her tighter against him, he grips her ass, lifting her higher.
She opens for him, legs spreading wide. “Yes,” she gasps, the word only for him. “Yes, yes.”
Reading her loud and clear, he teases the edge of her bikini bottoms and nudges them aside to slip a finger into her. That tight, perfect pussy.
Ash moans.
Two fingers now. He pushes them forcefully into her slickness. On a gasp, her eyes fall shut. Her lashes flutter. She arches in his arms, riding his hand. The heat of her, the hard clamp of her muscles, turns his dick to steel.
“What if someone sees us?” she gasps.
“I’m beyond caring, Ash,” he says roughly, his heart thundering. He’s enjoying this too fucking much to care if anyone sees them. To care if he even gets his turn. He wants her to have this. Wants to make her come hard and fast, and he wants to drink in the expression on her gorgeous face.
He adds to the pressure, adjusts the tempo. Swift now.
As she rocks against him in a silent plea for more, he kisses her. Senseless. Endless. He can’t be satiated. He’s coming undone. Utterly whipped and ruined.
On a growl, she snares his bottom lip with her teeth, tugging savagely.
“Fuck,” he grits out, liking her violence. His pulse spikes.
She shakes against him, uneven breaths falling from her lips. Her pupils are big, black and desirous.
He sweeps his mouth against her ear. “So fucking wet,” he whispers. “So fucking beautiful.”
An aching groan tears from her lips.
Nathaniel’s breathing turns strangled. He strokes his fingers over her clit. Faster now. Savoring.
Ash moans at the same moment he does. Panting, she comes. The hard tremble of her body brings a smile to Nathaniel’s lips. A rush of satisfaction to his blood. She’s beautiful. Fierce face flushed, she continues to moan and rock against him. He slows the pressure on her swollen clit until she goes limp in his arms.
She buries her face in his neck. Saws in breath after breath. He holds her tight. Not wanting her to swim away just yet. When she lifts her face, he smooths away that cloud of dark hair, skims a thumb over the delicate arch of her cheekbone. “Ash.”
There’s satisfaction in her eyes. She scrapes her hands down the wall of his chest, flashes of black nails and red lips.
“That was…kinda fucking everything,” she murmurs. He swears to God she’s purring.
“Yeah,” he says, unable to tear his eyes from her face. From the red lipstick that still stains her lips. “It really fucking was.”
Framing his face in her hands, she kisses him fiercely.
In response, he wraps his fist in all that black hair. A fire erupts within him. Fuck. It’s just as good as he expected. She kisses like a monster. Hungry and electric and savage.
Ash dips a finger into the waistband of his board shorts, pulling an unholy moan from deep within him. Her fingers skim the length of his cock. The heavy erection he’s sporting begs for relief. Begs for—
“Nathaniel!” Claire calls from the beach, voice panicked.
Ash tears away from him.
“Nathaniel, we need some help here!”
Wide-eyed, Ash jumps out of his arms. “Shit. Augustus.”
Heart racing, he tries to get his bearings, calm his erection.
They both splash through the water, swimming fast through the cove.
“Your dick,” Ash hisses as they come into sight of his family. His eyes drop to the bulge in his shorts. She smirks. “Your dick, asshole.”
Fuck. As they rush onto shore, Nathaniel snags a towel and wraps it around his waist.
He scans the scene waiting for him. Tate sits on a towel, his foot bloodied and cut up. Delaney, Augustus and his mother stand over him.
“What happened?” he barks.
Delaney rolls her eyes. “Tate tried to jump off the waterfall. Instead, he slipped and cut his foot.”
“It’s called doing a sweet jackknife,” Tate says with a scowl at Delaney. “But apparently, we all have our limitations.”
“You idiot,” Nathaniel rasps, winded from the swim. From the absolute sucker punch of Ash’s kiss. Dropping into a crouch, he glares at his little brother. Then he turns his attention to the cut on Tate’s foot. It’s shallow, but it could get infected if he doesn’t handle it.
“Bright side,” Ash says to Tate as she sinks into a squat beside Nathaniel. “It won’t affect your podcast.”
Tate laughs, but when Nathaniel twists his foot, the sound morphs into a groan.
“No,” Nathaniel says dryly. “Just your ability to walk for the rest of the trip.”
“Here,” Ash says, handing him the first-aid kit she must have fished out of his pack.
Gratefulness rises inside him. That she’s here. That she’s helping.
“Thanks,” he says.
Ash looks up at him from beneath thick, fringed lashes. Barefaced, beautiful. Goose bumps dot her bare skin. She’s shivering.
Frowning, he removes the towel from around his waist.
“Get warm,” he tells her. He drapes the towel around her shoulders, making sure she’s covered, and then unzips his kit. “I got this.”
He turns to the task at hand. All traces of earlier levity, of him and Ash, gone.
Already, he wants her back.
Stupid, dumb reptilian brain. Stupid kissing Nathaniel Whitford. Stupid she’s still thinking about it even though it’s been approximately five hours since then. And in the meantime, they’ve had dinner and participated in a sunset water aerobics class so militant that her entire body feels like a rubber band.
She wants to be back in that lagoon. Pressed against Nathaniel’s hard stomach, held like she mattered. His frantic fingers inside her, his lush, warm mouth devouring.
I notice everything about you.
She’s never been looked at that way. Ever. Partly like she’s roadkill, but also…with wonder. Wanting.
What does it mean?
Ash walks across the patio into her bedroom.
Nothing. It means absolutely nothing.
It has to. Today, that kiss can’t ever matter.
On the nightstand, her phone lights up. She scrambles to answer. Pretends not to be disappointed when the name on the screen isn’t Nathaniel’s. Or Tall Asshole. She should be disappointed in herself. When did she go from fuck that guy to I want to fuck that guy?
A text from Tessie: I can’t sleep. Again.
Calling you.
“Hi. You okay?”
“I’m so restless,” Tessie murmurs. On the other end of the line, the rustle of sheets. “This baby is using my bladder as a trampoline. I swear, she only respects me like 50 percent of the time.”
“Are you feeling okay?” Ash sits on the edge of the bed. A prickle of worry needles its way beneath her skin. “Have you been to the doctor?”
Tessie laughs. “You don’t have to worry about me. How was your day?”
“It was…fine.”
Even three thousand miles away, her cousin sees right through her. Tessie gasps. “You kissed him.”
“What? No.” She covers her face with one hand. Then she mumbles, “We kinda, sorta, did more than that.”
Remembering Nathaniel’s long fingers inside her, the feel of his hard body against hers, sends a rush of heat to her core. Clandestine. Intimate. She wanted it all. Especially him.
It felt good. It felt right. Did he enjoy it as much as she did?
Tessie cheers. “Ash! Does this mean the truce is over?”
“It’s a new truce. To maybe sometimes kiss.” She’s never been good at holding back her emotions. While Tessie’s a lockbox, she’s always worn her heart on her sleeve. “It’s not complicated. Get in and out. Like a drive-through.”
Not like she’d categorize it as getting finger-fucked under a waterfall.
It was…more than that. He gave. She took. And he wanted nothing back. Even if she was close to taking the heavy weight of him in her mouth. Because she wanted to.
God, and that orgasm. She orgasmed.
Ash lets out a mmm.
Tessie’s choked laugh breaks her out of her daze. “That good, huh?”
“Shut up.”
“I still demand you tell me everything.” Over the line, a door shuts. “Solomon is full-throttle snoring. I need some romance in my life.”
Ash fights to keep her features, her tone neutral. “I mean, if you want to get all technical, Nathaniel Whitford is a bionic superhuman hiker with above-average kissing skills.”
“And he’s a doctor.”
“And he’s a doctor.”
“What about his laugh? Is it a red or green flag?”
“Definitely green,” Ash murmurs. “Like that red Trans Am that Aunt Bev let us drive down the Pacific Coast Highway.”
“Oh my god.”
Ash bites her lip. Smiles. Whispers, “He looked up cryptids. For me, I think.”
Another gasp. “Ash.”
Her cheeks flame. “Stop. It doesn’t mean anything. It was just one part of his master plan to corrupt and sway me over to his side.”
“Sounds like you like his side.”
Ash’s heart pounds loudly in her ears. “Okay, I admit I am grudgingly impressed by his jawline, and if he wants to tie me down and whisper his murderous intentions to me while I’m half-naked, then who am I to argue? It’s just for the rest of the trip.”
“What if this is it?”
Her throat closes up. Her lungs seize. “It’s not.”
She can hear her cousin’s frown over the phone. “You always talk about the universe, Ash. But never yours. Maybe you need to let it in for once.”
Ash stands. Paces away her anxiety. “No. There is no universe-ing my love life. Nathaniel and I are a vacation fling. A blip in the stratosphere of it-happened-one-time. If you see me catching feelings for him, please send a carrier pigeon to peck my eyes out.” She inhales. “We have a few more days here, then…”
“Maui,” Tessie finishes.
“Maui.” She swallows hard, suddenly chilled. “I’ll be okay.”
“Okay like before? When you quit your job, sold your car, started traveling and ate three bologna sandwiches a day?”
Ash squeezes her eyes shut. Embarrassment coats her stomach. She did all that. And then some.
“Lizzo was right. The truth hurts.”
“Ash,” Tessie says in a soft voice. “I don’t want you to push yourself. You take care of everyone else. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. If Maui’s too much and you need to bail or hide away in your hotel room, do that.”
They go silent. But she knows Tessie waits quietly for her to rally. Or snap. Either way, she’s there. She loves her cousin so much.
Ash squeezes her eyes shut. All of a sudden, there’s no air in the room.
Truth is, it’s not even the cheating, the break-up, that haunts her anymore. It’s what Jakob said to her the day she packed her bags.
Her deepest, darkest secret. Probably the only one she’s ever kept from Tessie. Jakob lingered in the doorway, watching her pack. She was almost out the door when she stopped. Turned. She shouldn’t have asked. But she wanted to know. Maybe she wanted closure. Or an apology.
