Rating Zero (Alpha LitRPG Book 5), page 21
In another moment, I saw a wizened face above me, framed by a shock of wild, unkempt hair.
Two eyes glistening like a madman’s got fixed on my face, looking as if they tried to bore holes in it, while the mouth opened and asked in the same croaking voice,
“Have you seen them?!”
“Whom?”
“What do you mean, whom?! Them!”
“Who’s ‘them,’ then?”
“What a silly boy! Have you seen the ones who want to kill me?!”
“But who wants to kill you?”
A thin-lipped mouth moved to my ear and said, with anxiety and unyielding certainty,
“Everybody!!!”
Chapter 13
Not Just Another Mad Scientist
Paranoia is a very common condition. Many famous historical figures on Earth had been afflicted by it, and in some cases it wasn’t simply a consequence of overly active imagination. It is easy to become paranoid when you are constantly beset by danger. It doesn’t happen overnight, but eventually it does happen. Ergo, that you’ve been diagnosed with paranoia does not mean they are not out to get you, hehe. No, seriously.
However, two minutes into the conversation with Khellager it became clear to me the man was a special case. The doyen was convinced that the entire population of Rock had a single purpose in life: play a fast one on him in some sly manner and then subject him to unspeakable acts of cruelty. He was a besieged defender of his fortress, fending off hordes of enemies, and his entire life was built around that.
It was odd that the man did have a weak spot for Tao in his heart despite his overall troubled mentality. He trusted the Great Master enough to do something incredible after hearing just a few words and opened the door to his citadel for me.
The fortress analogy was indeed very much at home here. The place was nothing if not a fortified stronghold. That it was also a regular dwelling came a distant second. Luckily, the owner didn’t bother hiding anything inside the way he tried to disguise the mere existence of the place. I could see sturdy walls everywhere, reinforced not only with brick, stone, mortar, and iron grills, but also large amulets made of bones, horns, and fangs of every stripe imaginable. You couldn’t instantly identify the specific purpose of each of them, but I assumed they were all more compact and advanced versions of the security circuit in front of the house. In other words, even if you did manage to get inside, one or more of those contraptions would tell the owner someone was getting close.
As I was taking in the décor, Khellager dragged me deeper into the house. And it wasn’t somewhere you could get all that easily. It seemed the brave doyen had done all he could to give the hypothetical invaders a hard time finding his inner sanctum. It was a veritable labyrinth with dead-end passages, traps, hidden entryways, and hatches you had to step over. All in all, there were plenty of things around to confuse an unwelcome visitor, and if they got particularly unlucky, they might get confused to death.
All along the way, the doyen kept asking me about Great Master Tao. I got the impression that his acquaintance with Tao was the only bright spot in his otherwise gloomy and troubled existence.
Khellager led me into what looked like an unassuming drawing room with stationary multi-charge fortress crossbows capable of shooting a dozen bolts at once, strategically positioned in three of its corners. In the fourth corner, there was a tall iron cage covered with a filthy blanket. I wondered if my host kept his favorite canary there, and if he did, I knew I would never be tempted to hand-feed the glorious creature.
The rest of the room was almost completely occupied by an enormous table surrounded with chairs. That was the most surprising thing about the house I had seen so far. Somehow, it didn’t seem too plausible that the owner was getting many visitors. Besides, the way he looked and behaved made one think he’d feel more at home sitting on an iron stool screwed tight to a stone floor.
“Have a seat, boy. And please tell me how my old friend Tao’s daughter is doing?”
“She’s doing fine,” I answered, about to sit down.
“Stop!” Khellager barked, making me freeze in a rather uncomfortable position. “Don’t sit on this chair. Or that one. And see the one over there? Don’t so much as touch it.”
“I get it,” I said, feeling I was traversing a mine field once again.
“So, why aren’t you answering? Tell me how she is!”
“I’ve told you. She’s fine.”
“How can you say that? She’s ill, and there’s no cure for her ailment. The poor thing has been this way since birth. Are you trying to deceive me, you brat?!”
“I’ve been telling you the truth. A cure has been found. A new cure. It was found just recently, but it already had a great effect on her condition. She’s much better now, and the worst is over,” I said, sitting down with great caution.
“There is no cure for this illness,” Khellager’s eyes took on a look that would give anyone the shivers.
I hastened to explain myself.
“If you really are close with Master Tao, you certainly know the reason why he relocated to the east. It wasn’t a wild fancy. That was the only place where he hoped to find something that would help his daughter.”
“And you’re telling me he’s found it?” Khellager asked, still sounding wary, but with threatening notes gone from his voice this time.
“He has. With some help from me.”
“That’s excellent news!” The doyen looked cheerful at once. “Give me a moment, boy. I have some candied fruit here. I just hope I don’t mix them up. The ones on this shelf here are poisoned. There are good ones on the other shelf too, but not all of them. That’s a really neat trick for when someone breaks into your house. They might get hungry, but they have no way of knowing the poisoned fruit from the edible ones. Oh, and what’s in this bowl anyway…”
I stopped being reticent and just jabbered away.
“Thanks a lot for your offer of refreshments, but I’d rather decline. I don’t have much of a sweet tooth anyway. And I’m not a boy. I mean, not a little boy. I have business with you, and it’s important.”
Khellager twitched suddenly, jumping back to the wall, hitting it with an elbow, and swiftly grabbing an enormous poleax that seemed to have appeared out of thin air; then he assumed a fighting stance, which seemed totally unreal, given his general appearance. The reclusive wizard really reminded me of Doc Brown from the Back to the Future series. Not exactly a double, but you could instantly see the likeness.
So imagine Doc Brown, his face a great deal older, but the body and mannerisms remaining the same, clothed in something like a singularly filthy cassock and wielding an enormous poleax. The weapon looked truly surreal. I had only seen things like that in Chinese video games back during my first childhood. Some folks just liked NBA-sized video characters wielding enormous clubs and such.
Anyhow, I hope you are getting the picture. Me, I wasn’t laughing though. There was a madman gunning for me, and I had no idea what he was capable of. Even assuming his parameters and fighting skills were not as high as mine, he was in his own bailiwick, and, as the Russians put it, at home even the walls help.
It took me some effort to overcome the sudden urge to jump over the table and all those suspicious chairs, pulling my sword out while I did. I raised my hands in a placating gesture instead.
“Doyen, please don’t forget I’ve been sent to you by Great Master Tao. I am no enemy of yours.”
It didn’t ease the man’s paranoia, but at least he didn’t attack me at once.
His eyes bored holes in me as he asked a trick question.
“Is Tao’s hunting house on the hill square or rectangular?”
I shrugged.
“The one I found him in was round. I don’t know about any others. If you mean the one where his wife, daughter, and servants live, it’s in the valley, not on the hill.”
“And why would you scorn the sweets that I offered?”
“I’m sorry, what does scorn have to do with it? I didn’t come here to stuff myself with sweets. I have something important to discuss.”
Not the courtliest of answers, especially towards the end of it. But something was telling me that my chances of surviving this conversation would be higher if I spoke plainly and didn’t take too long to say what I wanted.
“So what’s that business you say you have with me?” At least some of the tension was now draining from Khellager’s voice.
“I’ve run into an unusual problem. When I told the Great Master about it, he said you were the only person in Rava who could help me, and, possibly, the only such person on Rock. Since I had to come to the capital, at any rate, I decided to pay you a visit too.” I noticed rage building up in the old man’s gaze again, so I hastily made a brief assessment of our conversation, and added, “Yes, I have already told you that I parted ways with the Great Master a while ago. I couldn’t have possibly visited you any earlier. Getting here has taken me a while. Besides, I’m a student at the Steel Palace of Crimson Glass, and going outside is not easy. Today is the first time I got a town leave, and I hurried to your place at once.”
“What?!” Khellager whooped. He started laughing and put down his poleax at last.
Laughter was the last thing I expected from this person, and it caught me by surprise. I didn’t think he had even the smallest funny bone in him.
The doyen kept on chuckling as he walked around, placed a bowl with pieces of candied fruit on the table in front of him, tossed a few into his mouth and shook his head.
“I must confess I am intrigued. The Steel Palace is a rat cage, only instead of rats they gather young snobs from all over Rava there. The difference isn’t that great, however. I would genuinely like to know why a student from a place as worthless as that would want to see me, the only intelligent person in this whole empire.”
So it wasn’t just paranoia, after all. It clearly came with a side order of megalomania too. What a charming collection of mental health issues!
I wondered whether the Great Master would really have sent me to see a complete nutjob. But this seemed to be the right address, and the man acknowledged his acquaintance with Tao.
“Speak up, boy! What kind of business do you have with me? Move a little to the left, I need to see all the avenues of approach. Don’t get in the way. So, what is it? Tell me!”
“I have a rather unusual problem…” I started, only to get interrupted at once.
“I don’t want your ideas about it. I need facts.”
“All right. I can’t develop any parameters. Or, rather, I can, but only very slowly and painfully.”
“What kind of parameters, boy?”
“All of them—attributes, skills, and states. This makes progress difficult. Very difficult indeed.”
“I assume it’s not just the matter of development being costly. What exactly is the problem?”
“Progress is painful. And it’s not even just pain. I become a complete wreck for a while.”
“Do you try to take giant steps or develop several areas of ORDER at once?” Khellager asked in a no-nonsense manner.
I shook my head.
“That’s the thing. Neither. I can’t even raise a single parameter by a single point because it’s incredibly risky. It might put me out of commission for two days or more. And if I tried with more parameters… The very thought makes me shiver.”
“Some children exhibit similar symptoms,” Khellager said, pensively. “It happens very rarely. I’ve only read about it. And that only happens if people try to use very rare loot to accelerate their progress. You’re not quite a grownup yet, but you aren’t a child, either. Something’s wrong with you…”
“Exactly,” I nodded. “Everything’s wrong. We pondered it together with Master Tao, but never came to any conclusion. He said it was balderdash, and none of this should be happening. But he still didn’t tell me what to do about it.
“Oh, that good, old Tao,” Khellager said, fondly, and then immediately barked like some Gestapo henchman from a WWII movie, “But you can’t fool me!”
“What’s wrong now?” I sighed,.
“Your ORDER is a mere façade for idiots. And you forgot you are talking to a living incarnation of wisdom. Did you really think you could pull wool over my eyes, you despicable brat?”
I hurried to offer my explanation.
“I’m sorry, most esteemed Doyen Khellager, it was the furthest thing from my mind. It’s just a safety measure. You protect your house, and I have to protect myself. How did you even figure my ORDER parameters were a façade? With all due respect to your wisdom, how?! I’m hiding it really well.”
“I am indeed wise,” a flattered Khellager nodded. “My skill is insufficient to reveal everything about you at once, but it’s not just about my skills alone. It’s the place too. Look around you. See? I’ve built this house myself. It helps me with lots of things. And it’s helping me here with you. I see your false ORDER. The false front looks strong, but not strong enough to attract unnecessary attention. I think there are lots of folks with much higher parameters in that cesspit where you have for some reason decided to study. But tell me, boy, have you ever played tou-to?
I nodded silently, confirming my familiarity with the local game that resembled unnecessarily complicated chess.
“Excellent, my boy, excellent. And now imagine the armies of Chaos and ORDER lined up on the board, but Chaos has Necros with its back to the center, and there are four flame hounds at the left fracture instead of three. What’s going to happen?”
I shrugged.
“It’s hard to tell. Hounds aren’t strong enough for this to be a serious strength boost, and it would take two turns to turn Necros around. Necros is one of the main pieces, and the only one capable of creating other pieces. So Chaos hasn’t really got an advantage. The parties still engage on equal terms.
Khellager winced.
“I expected a different answer. You were supposed to say that an experienced player would instantly see that the setup was incorrect.”
“That much is obvious,” I nodded.
“So that’s what you should have said instead of babbling inanities about strategy. I see something wrong about the placement of your ORDER numbers, boy. I don’t yet know what it is, but I know it’s off somehow. Your numbers are very simple, very well-balanced, and very plausible. But things never work that way in reality. It’s as if someone has copied a textbook example, and textbooks are often stupid, along with all the examples they contain. You have several layers of disguise, and you’re trying to make it look as though the Primordial Temple’s seal conceals your real numbers. I, however, am of the opinion that it’s all a sham, and that there’s more underneath, hidden in some really unusual way. So if you really want me to help you, it would behoove you to stop deceiving me.”
“I wasn’t! You haven’t given me enough time to explain anything.”
“Good, good. I hope Tao made you realize that his friends needn’t hide anything from me. Nothing said within these walls will leave them while I’m alive. And walls cannot record our words, so our conversation will die with me. So, what’s the matter with your ORDER? I’m certain there’s something wrong with it, but I can’t prove it. It’s just indirect bits and pieces that give you away. Such as clashing unbalanced attributes. I knew a few idiots who would invest nearly everything in Agility. The result was most entertaining. And miserable, of course. So, will you share just what is wrong with you there? If you intend to clam up, you might as well do it outside. I can’t help where I can’t see anything.”
“I’m not clamming up. I just don’t know how to explain it.”
“Just tell it like it is.”
“You can see my parameters, right? Perhaps, it would be easier if I opened them? It would take me a whole day and then some to explain, so it’s best that you take a look at everything yourself.”
“I don’t know how you’ve managed to conceal it so well, but, sure, open it up, boy. I’m really curious to take a look now. I know old Tao like the back of my own hand. He wouldn’t have bothered me with a simple case.”
So I did what I was extremely reluctant to do. I took off the amulet, which was almost useless anyway. It only created the impression I was hiding something, but it helped in that without it, they might suspect me of concealing information in other ways. Then I switched off the carefully-constructed set of false parameters and did the same to the veil I received after breaking the Primordial Temple’s record—the tricky disguise that the doyen had suspected me of having but couldn’t prove I had.
There was silence. Khellager froze without making a single move. He wasn’t even looking at me; he was looking right through me with glassy eyes.
A minute went by, followed by another, and then a third.
I began feeling uncomfortable. Did the doyen get a heart attack at the sight of my true parameters? Or was he trying to count them all one by one? That would take a while. If you wrote all of them down, it would take quite a few sheets of parchment.
Finally there was a flicker of life in Khellager’s eyes. He exhaled sharply, reclined on the back of the chair, and gave me a gaze of a heavily constipated owl.
“You aren’t a boy! You’re Necros’ spawn!”
“Nothing of the sort! We aren’t remotely related! I object to the very implication!”
