Axel (Dark Slayers MC Book 25), page 11
“What’s up? Just tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.”
After a brief pause, she told me, “Bryce left the country.”
I frowned because of course he did. Anything to worm his way out of signing those damned divorce papers. “That man is pissing me off.”
“Me too,” she responded. “He claims it’s an emergency business trip.”
“Fuck that noise. He waited until he was due to sign the divorce paperwork and then just fucked off out of the country.”
“Yeah,” she said. “That’s what I think too. He didn’t even give his attorney advance notice.”
“What about the stuff the cops found in the office? I would have thought if he was under investigation, he’d not be allowed to leave the country?” I asked.
She shrugged, “I don’t know if they’ve gotten any further with that. But as it’s his father’s office there was nothing to tie Bryce to it.”
Shoving aside my annoyance with my former best friend, I asked, “What does that mean for you?”
She reached into her purse and pulled out a folded sheet of paper, smoothing it open on the table in front of me. “Roderick filed for temporary separation in his absence. Since Bryce’s trip qualifies as an emergency situation, the court granted me temporary custody. I can enroll the girls in school, make decisions for them. There is no such thing as grounds for divorce in California. It’s a no-fault divorce state. I just want to be... discreet.”
My brows pulled together. “Discreet? You mean as in dating?”
“Yes. I can date.” She met my gaze head-on. “It can’t be held against me in the divorce.”
Something fierce and protective fired to life in my chest. “Have you given any thought to dating? Got anyone in mind?”
“I’ve been thinking about hooking up with the hot biker I’m currently rooming with.”
I smothered back a smile. “I have it on good authority that he’d fucking love getting closer to you.”
“Right now, I need something quiet and drama free. I just want something nice in my life. You know what I mean?”
“That works for me.”
She leaned forward, amusement lighting up her face. “Sounds like we’re on the same page.”
“You are not wrong about that, darlin’.” I scratched the beard scruff along my jaw.
She smiled and then glanced nervously towards the window. “School for the girls starts in two weeks. I have to take them shopping for clothing and school supplies.”
I knew where this was going, “I already told you, whatever you need you can have. You don’t need to ask, the bank card is yours to use for anything you and the girls need. If they’re anything like my club brothers’ kids then it’ll be all new pencil cases, sneakers, and lunch bags so they fit in with their friends.”
“You seem pretty sure of yourself there, Axel.”
I shrugged. “You’d be surprised all the useless information I keep locked away in my mind. It comes in handy sometimes.”
She laughed and the sound was like music to my ears. “Yeah, I’ll bet you do. What kind of information do you have squirreled away in that big noggin of yours?”
“You probably don’t want to know,” I said and wiggled my eyebrows. “But maybe one day I’ll have to show ya.”
“Well, color me intrigued,” she shot back with a grin.
That made me laugh too. Oh, this woman was going to be a handful. I could tell that already.
The waitress came back and we ordered cathead biscuits along with our big breakfast. After sharing her worries about Bryce, Tracey seemed much more relaxed.
“Did you ever think it’d get this far, this fast?” I asked. “I mean the court giving you temporary custody?”
“No.” Her voice turned quiet. “Bryce kept me cash poor and made sure I didn’t have access to a vehicle, so I couldn’t leave him. I’ve been trying to find a way for the last several years, since he cheated on me with his PA, among others. I think he sensed I wanted out and did everything in his power to make sure it didn’t happen.”
“You don’t have to worry about any of that anymore. You have your legal separation and soon, you’ll have your divorce decree. Roderick’s a good lawyer.”
“He’s also an expensive one. I appreciate you fronting me the money I needed for the divorce and giving us a place to stay.”
“It was my pleasure. I mean that.”
She looked at me again, for several seconds, as though she was thinking something over. Then she reached across the table and touched my wrist with her fingertips. “Thanks for not making me feel like a burden, Axel. That means the world to me right now.”
“You’re not a burden. You could never be anything but welcome in my home, in my life, and in my bed if you decide that’s what you want.”
“You sure about that, Axel? Me and my girls are a package deal. You know that, right?”
“That falls in the category of nice things coming in small packages, if you ask me.”
She smiled at my gentle teasing but when she spoke again, her tone was serious, “Then there’s my crazy ass ex-husband. I get the feeling we’re gonna have to worry about him for a long time. I hate walking around looking over my shoulder all the time. That’s no way to live.”
I covered her hand with mine. “I know just how to deal with Bryce. Don’t worry about him.”
She didn’t pull away, even when I tightened my grip. “I don’t know how to do this,” she stated quietly. “I wouldn’t even be thinking of dating again if you weren’t so close. Being in your house, rubbing elbows while we cook and watching you with my girls feels like the relationship I should have had all along. I don’t think I could trust anyone else, not the way I trust you.”
“I feel the same way. Having you close has been really hard. I’ve been trying to be the friend that you need while wanting more. I just didn’t think now was the time to bring that up. You’re still dealing with all the shit that’s been going on. But I want you to know that I’m up for anything you need. You want the house to yourself; I can sleep at the clubhouse. If you want to be just friends, I’ll set my feelings aside and be the friend you need. If you want someone to hold you and love you, I’ll be your rebound. That’s not to say I wouldn’t be fucking thrilled to have a shot at a long-term relationship with you. Because I would absolutely love that. You know something, Tracey? You were always the one that got away.”
The look that crossed her face almost melted me right on the spot. But then a dark cloud shadowed it. “I hate to keep bringing up Bryce, but he expected and demanded perfection. What if I can’t be perfect for you, Axel?”
“I fucking hate the whole idea of being perfect. Like I don’t even understand the concept of perfection. Isn’t it different for everyone? I prefer to take people just how they come, rather than trying to force them to become some ideal that I don’t even understand myself.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that, Axel. I don’t want to bring my girls up thinking they have to be perfect little dolls. I want them to be able to laugh out loud, run, play, and get dirty. I want them to make noise and live their best lives.”
I gave her hand another squeeze, before pulling mine away. “I want that for them too. And I want you to show them what it means to follow your dreams. Go back to school to become a dentist, if that’s what you want. There ain’t nobody to hold you back from doing the things you want anymore. Now’s your time to do as you like.”
The food came, breaking the moment, but we’d both said way more than either of us intended. Talking to Tracey was easy. The moment I heard she wanted to date me, the ground shifted beneath my feet. Suddenly, everything that seemed impossible before was now within my reach.
***
Later that night, after we tucked the girls in, I found Tracey standing at one of the upstairs windows. She was looking out at the yard where just hours earlier the girls had been running around, blowing off steam. Her expression was distant, and her arms were wrapped around her stomach in a way that made her seem vulnerable and in need of someone to talk to.
I took a leap of faith after what she had told me earlier, came up behind her, and slipped my arms around her waist. “You look like someone who could use a hug. Is everything alright?”
When she melted back against me, I held her more firmly. It felt good to finally have her in my arms.
She sighed and slowly turned until we were face to face. “I’m getting more texts from Bryce. He’s being extra nasty today.”
“You know what to do about that,” I said roughly, hating my former friend with the fire of a thousand suns at this point.
“I forwarded them to Roderick and his partner, just like they asked me to. It’s just a little dispiriting to have to deal with all his toxic bullshit. He’s ignoring the restraining order, and the police aren’t doing anything about it. And now he’s out of the country I can’t stop him.”
I reached out and tugged her close again. She laid her head on my chest, letting me give her the support she so desperately needed at this moment. “I’m sorry I’m bringing all this into your life.”
“Don’t be sorry, sweetheart,” I murmured. “We’ll deal with this together.”
“I’m just so tired of having to pretend to be strong,” she said.
“You don’t have to pretend, not with me.”
She turned her head to look up at me. “I know. Thanks to you, Bryce will be out of my life in a few short months. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”
“Stupid fucker doesn’t deserve a wife, much less a good woman like you.”
Her gaze turned warm and admiring. “How about you? Do you deserve a good woman like me?”
I gave her a playful little jostle. “Ain’t no man on God’s green earth that deserves you. And I ain’t joking about that.”
My body froze for an instant, and she used that opportunity to lift herself onto her toes and kiss me. My instincts kicked in, and I lifted her into my arms so our lips could connect more fully.
For a second, I forgot how to breathe. Her mouth was soft and certain against mine. My hands found her waist on instinct, my thumbs fitting into the little hollows there like they’d been waiting for the job. She wasn’t trembling exactly, but I could feel a fine thread of nerves under the surface.
I kissed her back the way I’ve always wanted to, but letting her set the pace. When she didn’t pull away, I slid one hand up, my fingers tracing the line of her spine through the cotton of her thin shirt. She shivered. Not from cold. From me. That knowledge detonated low in my chest.
“Tracey,” I managed against her mouth, more a gravelly sound than a word. I wanted her to know I was still thinking, still here, still in control of myself when every part of me wanted to lift her and carry her straight to my bed. “Tell me if—”
“Don’t stop,” she whispered, breath feathering against my lower lip. “Please don’t stop.”
So I didn’t. I angled my head and deepened the kiss, slow and sure. Her hands slid up around my neck, her fingers threading at the base of my skull. I hooked an arm under her thighs and picked her up and she made a surprised sound that I swallowed as her legs came around my hips. She was light in my arms, but the weight of this moment was something else entirely—heavy with history and what we hadn’t said and what we were saying now without using words.
I walked her to my bedroom and set her on my bed. The light was off, but outside, the motion light had kicked on, throwing pale gold across the lawn. My reflection and hers blurred together in the glass like we were one. I felt my heart in my throat, I’d imagined this moment for years, and I wasn’t ashamed to admit that the thought of being with Tracey had stoked many a fantasy.
She cupped my face, her palms warm, her thumbs brushing the rough stubble along my jaw. Her eyes searched mine like she was making sure I was real. I let her look. I wanted her to see everything—want, yes, but the steadiness underneath it. The promise that none of this was going to cost her, that there weren’t any strings tied to my help or my heart.
“You’re shaking,” I murmured.
“We’re really going to do this?” A watery laugh slipped out of her.
“Only if it’s what you want, darlin’?” I asked. She didn’t answer, but her hand came out and brushed against the front of my jeans.
Fuck.
I guess I had my answer. I was rock hard and wanted nothing more than to be buried deep inside her sweet pussy. But I’d waited years to get Tracey in my arms. Tonight, I wanted to take my time and savor every moment.
It got hotter fast. That’s just the truth. There was only so long I could pretend I wasn’t desperate to know the taste of her or feel the heat of her skin against mine. The angle changed, I pressed in closer, bracketed her body with mine, and her breath hitched when my chest met hers. Her fingers moved, sliding from my jaw to the back of my neck, drawing me deeper. I felt her open for me—her mouth, her trust, and a rough sound tore free from my throat I didn’t recognize as my own.
I dragged my mouth from hers, only because I wanted more. I took a slow path along her cheekbone, the corner of her jaw, found the pulse in her throat and pressed my lips there. She tipped her head back and let out a soft, breathy moan that I was pretty sure I was gonna hear in my bones for the rest of my damn life.
“Axel,” she gasped.
“Yeah, sweetheart.” My voice didn’t sound like something fit for polite company. “Still okay?”
“Better than okay.” Her fingers tightened in my hair. “I feel… safe.”
That word did something to me. I gentled without meaning to, letting my mouth soften against her skin. My hands, which had been fisted in her shirt like I was trying not to shake apart, eased. I slid one palm up her side, mapping her curves. Feeling the flutter of breath under my hand. The warm, steady strength she didn’t realize she carried.
I stopped just below the curve of her breasts and stayed there, letting the heat seep through both our shirts. She pressed into my touch like she’d been starved for simple, decent contact. That thought hurt and healed me in the same breath.
“You sure you want me, Tracey?” I asked it low, because I needed to hear it, not because I doubted. I didn’t want the past speaking in either of our ears.
Her eyes met mine straight on. She looked fierce all of a sudden, like the question struck at something she’d already decided. “I’ve wanted you since before I knew what wanting was,” she said, and then she kissed me with a certainty that burned away every ghost in the room.
I kissed her back, our tongues tangling. She was soft everywhere I was hard, yielding where I was stubborn. I cupped her breast and rubbed my thumb over her nipple. She groaned in response.
“You like that?” I asked.
“Mmm,” she murmured.
I pushed her shirt up higher like I was unwrapping a present. God she was so fucking beautiful. I bent my head to her chest and captured a nipple between my lips, sucking it through her bra. My other hand drifted down her stomach towards paradise.
She must have been having similar thoughts as she tugged at my shirt. I peeled it over my head and dropped it somewhere I didn’t care about. Her palms slid over my chest like she was learning a new language by touch. I wasn’t the skinny kid she’d known back in college. The military put size on me and the gym kept it. Her hands told a whole story on their own as they mapped what time and experience had made.
“You’re beautiful,” she whispered, as if the word surprised her.
I nearly laughed again, only because if I didn’t, I might make a sound I’d regret. “That’s my line,” I said, and let my hands memorize the slope of her waist, and the dip above her hip bone. I didn’t rush. When she swayed forward and kissed me with the kind of sweetness that burns, I steadied us both.
Her shirt hit the floor next, and for a heartbeat I just looked. Not crude. Not rating or measuring. Just witnessing the proof of a life lived, a body that had grown two small humans and carried more than her share of worry. I had the sudden, stupid urge to kneel. Instead, I put my mouth to the top of her shoulder where the bra strap had been and breathed her in, letting her skin cool my lips.
“You’re staring,” she whispered, her voice shaky.
“Yeah,” I admitted. “I’ve been waiting a long time to.” I looked up and met her eyes so she could see I meant it. “You’re perfect to me, Tracey. You always were.”
Something in her face changed and she pulled me down to kiss me like she believed me.
We tumbled back onto the mattress, sideways, half on, half off, laughing into each other’s mouths when the sheet bunched under her elbow.
“I don’t have to be perfect with you,” she said softly, almost to herself.
“No,” I said. “Just be you.”
I kissed her again and when she arched under me, my breath stuttered. Heat gathered, low and heavy, the kind that makes a man stupid.
“Axel,” she said against my mouth, a warning and an invitation, and I didn’t know which one would win.
A second later, neither did, because the night ripped open.
A sharp, high sound knifed down the hall. A child’s cry. It went through me like a blade.
Tracey was off the mattress and pulling on her shirt before I could say her name. Every nerve in my body flipped from hungry to alert so fast it left me dizzy. We met in the doorway for half a heartbeat—her eyes wide, mine were already on the sliver of light under the girls’ door—and then we were running.
“Jenna?” Tracey called, voice steady now in the way only a mother’s gets when she’s scared. “Jill?”
Another cry, this one softer, broken by hiccupping breaths. “Mommy!”
I reached the door first and swung it open with my palm flat, the way you do when you’re ready to catch whatever’s coming. The nightlight threw a small pool of glow across a tangle of blankets and two small shapes sitting up in bed, hair tousled, eyes wet.
