Capturing Tess, page 11
Anxiety welled up in her stomach. She’d been so enamored with Ava, so caught up in a whirlwind of passion, that she’d almost forgotten the situation she was in.
Because despite it all, everything between them had been wonderful. Ava was all she’d ever wanted and more. Tess couldn’t have dreamed her up in her wildest imagination. She’d opened up Tess’s desires, made her feel things she’d never felt before. She’d shown Tess parts of herself that were hidden so deeply that Tess hadn’t even known they were there.
But a dark cloud had always hung over them. And now, it was smothering everything else Tess felt.
The sitting room door opened. Ava had returned. And she wore a solemn expression.
Tess’s chest tightened. “What’s wrong?”
Ava gestured toward the couch in the center of the room. Tess sat down obediently. But instead of joining her on the couch, Ava perched on the arm at the opposite end of it.
“W-what’s going on?” Tess asked.
Silence stretched out between them. Why wasn’t Ava saying anything? Why wouldn’t she look Tess in the eye? She was a woman with unshakable confidence, stone-faced and self-assured at all times. Tess had never seen her like this before.
“Ava,” she pleaded. “Say something. You’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry.” Ava slid down onto the seat of the couch, but still kept her distance. “I’m trying to figure out how best to say everything I need to tell you.”
“Is this about those men who were after me? Are you going to finally tell me why?”
Ava nodded. “It’s time I told you the truth.”
Tess waited for her to begin, the fire crackling in the hearth. It was beginning to die, but feeding it was the last thing on her mind.
Finally, Ava spoke. “The men who followed you that night after work were hitmen. They were hired by Julie Holden. She’s your grandmother.”
Tess’s mouth went dry. “My… what?”
“Your grandmother. Are you familiar with the Holden family?”
“Not unless you mean the Holdens. The real estate family.” They were old money, practically American royalty. “You don’t mean them, do you?”
“I do. Your father was Marcus Holden, Julie and Thomas’s only son, and the heir to the Holden family empire. I say was, because he passed away recently. It was a car accident. I’m sorry.”
“My dad was some rich heir?” Tess said slowly. “And now he’s dead?”
“Yes. And as his only child, you’re entitled to inherit his wealth. Which, I believe, is why your grandmother wants you out of the picture.”
Tess shook her head. “That’s crazy. Who could do something like that?”
“Julie Holden, that’s who. She may seem charming and friendly, but that’s just an act. She’s conniving. Manipulative. Money-hungry. She married into the Holden family just to get her hands on their riches, and she’s always been paranoid about anyone taking them from her. She’s rotten to her bones. Her son wasn’t much better.”
“But…” Tess shook her head again. It was too full of fog for her to think straight. “How do you know that? How do you know all this?”
“Because I’ve known the Holdens my entire life. Marcus. His parents. I know them just as well as my own family. We grew up next door to each other. And I knew your mother, too.”
“What?” Tess stared at her. “You knew my mom?”
“Since we were children. She was the daughter of my family’s housekeeper. She originally lived with her grandmother while her mother lived and worked at my family’s estate, but when her grandmother couldn’t take care of her anymore, her mother pleaded with my parents to let her bring her child to live with her. She was less than a year older than me, and my parents thought it would be good if I had a girl my age to play with. Where we lived, there weren’t many children around, and Marcus was my only real friend. So my parents agreed to it. Rachel moved in with us when I was nine years old.”
“Rachel? But my mom’s name was Alice. Alice Bennett.”
“That wasn’t the name she was born with. She was Rachel when I knew her. Rachel Davies. And she became my best friend, along with Marcus. The three of us were inseparable. As I mentioned, my parents were busy people. They didn’t give me much attention. Marcus was in a similar situation. We only had each other. The older we got, the closer we grew. And when we were teenagers, things became more… complicated.”
Ava stared into the fireplace, her gaze growing distant. The flames were down to embers now.
“Marcus and Rachel ended up in a secret relationship of sorts. But it wasn’t a healthy one. I was too young to see it at the time, but Marcus was manipulative. Entitled. Used to getting his way. He was the same way with Rachel. I should have helped her, but I was just a stupid teenager myself, absorbed in my own problems…”
Ava’s voice wavered. She visibly steeled herself.
“When Rachel was sixteen, Marcus got her pregnant. She didn’t realize until she was too far along to do anything. The fallout was awful, to say the least. Marcus turned on her immediately, wanting nothing to do with Rachel or his child. And his parents? They were adamant that Rachel get rid of the baby, whether it was legal or not. Especially Julie. She was convinced that Rachel was a gold digger who had gotten pregnant on purpose in order to weasel her way into a wealthy family. It’s not surprising she thought that, given how she’d essentially done the same thing to her husband.
“But Rachel refused to get rid of you. So in the end, everyone agreed she would put the baby up for adoption. The matter seemed to be settled. But one day, Rachel had an accident when she was at Marcus’s house. She fell down some stairs, almost losing the baby. She later told me that it hadn’t been an accident. She didn’t fall. She was pushed. And while her memory was fuzzy in the aftermath, she remembered clearly that it was Marcus’s mother who pushed her.”
Tess’s stomach sank. “She was trying to get rid of the baby.”
“Yes. But it didn’t work. The baby survived. You survived. And it made Rachel realize she wasn’t safe.”
“But that’s…” How could anyone be so cruel? How could her father allow that to happen? To her mom, to Tess? How could her parents have written such beautiful letters to each other only for her dad to turn against her mom?
“Rachel feared that if she stuck around, there’d be another incident. So she ran. My investigations tell me that she had you in secret, under a false name, then went into hiding, creating new identities for you and herself, raising you alone. She didn’t want the Holdens finding either of you.”
“So that’s why I never knew any of my family,” Tess spelled out. “That’s why we were always moving around, never staying in one place.”
Ava nodded. “I didn’t know about any of this at the time. I didn’t even know if Rachel was alive, let alone you. From my perspective, she simply disappeared one day. Until…”
“Until what?”
“Until two years later, when I got a phone call from her. She told me she was safe, and she’d had a little girl. You. She told me that if anything was to happen to her, I had to find you and take care of you. That I had to protect you, make sure the Holdens never got their hands on you. She made me promise.”
Ava’s gaze grew distant, her eyes shimmering. Were those tears?
“But I failed her,” she said. “I failed you both. When I got that phone call, I was 18, barely more than a child myself. I didn’t know what to do. She didn’t tell me where she was or give me any way to contact her. And she never contacted me again. I don’t know why. Maybe she tried to get in touch, but too much time had passed, so she couldn’t find me. Maybe you were safe, so she didn’t see any reason to stay connected to her old life. So when I didn’t hear from her, I put that promise in the back of my mind.
“But as the years went by, I never forgot it. Eventually, I started searching for you and Rachel, but came up empty. It wasn’t until Marcus’s accident that I started looking for you more seriously. I cut ties with the Holdens after I turned 18 and left home, so I only heard the news on the grapevine. It was clear by then that he was unlikely to wake up. And upon his passing, all his wealth would go to his heirs.”
“You mean me,” Tess said.
Ava nodded. “As far as I can tell, you’re his only child. After speaking to some lawyers, I determined that it was likely you were entitled to an inheritance. I needed to find you and let you know that. Marcus himself didn’t do much with his life, but the Holdens are a wealthy family, so he had his share of the family’s assets. The amount of money you stood to inherit was enough to change your life. I didn’t know anything about your situation, but I knew that the child of a runaway single mother could probably use a windfall. At the same time, it was my way of making up for failing to look out for you all these years. Especially after I learned of Rachel’s passing. I was so sorry to hear it. She was a wonderful person. It must have been hard for you.”
“It was. She was the only family I ever knew.”
“And I’m so sorry you ended up in foster care. That was what made it so hard to find you. The system is designed to protect the privacy of minors, so your trail went cold after Rachel’s death. But with the help of a well-connected friend, I found you. I finally found you.”
Tears overflowed onto Ava’s cheeks. She wiped them away, her stone expression never wavering.
“But I wasn’t the only one. You were being watched, followed. I didn’t know why at the time, but I knew I had to act sooner rather than later. It was lucky I did, because the men who had been following you—Julie’s men—chose that very same night to make their move.”
“So that’s why you rescued me,” Tess said.
“Yes. When I went to the diner that night, it was to introduce myself, to tell you everything. I planned to offer you the chance to come with me, the chance at a better life. I’d already prepared a place for you here if you wanted it. Everything was set. But after seeing you face to face, after all this time, I found myself with cold feet. And by the time I’d gathered my courage again, you had Julie’s men at your heels.”
“Wait, so you were going to bring me here all along?”
Ava nodded. “I swore to your mother that I’d look after you. I’m finally keeping that promise. I’m just sorry I didn’t do it sooner.”
A still silence settled over the room. The last embers of the fire had faded, a cold chill permeating the room. But Tess barely felt it. She barely felt anything.
“I don’t know what to say. This is all so much.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “And you knew all along? You knew all of this?”
“Yes. I apologize for keeping it from you. At first, it was because I wanted to confirm everything. Your identity. Who was after you. Then as time went on, I simply wanted to spare you the pain. But I was just delaying the inevitable. I’m sorry.”
Tess could hear the guilt in her voice. But the secrets Ava had kept from her were monumental. How was Tess supposed to trust her, knowing what she did now?
Could she even trust that what Ava had told her was the truth?
“I…” Tess’s voice cracked. “I think I need some space. To process everything.”
“I understand.” Ava rose to her feet. “I’m here if you need me.”
Tess watched her leave the room, unease roiling in her stomach.
Why did she still feel like Ava wasn’t telling her everything?
CHAPTER 18
For Tess, the next few hours were a blur. At first, she remained in the sitting room, staring at the dead fire, her heart as cold and empty as the darkness surrounding her.
And when she returned to her bedroom that night, to brush her teeth and get ready for bed, everything felt slow and sluggish, as if she was moving through water.
It wasn’t until she was standing before her bed in nothing but her pajamas that the enormity of all Ava had revealed hit her.
She sank to the floor, leaning back against the bed. All these revelations—about her mother, her father, her entire family—crushed at her chest, choking every breath she took.
She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them to her body. She’d never felt more alone. Sure, she’d always been alone, ever since her mother died. She’d never had anyone in her corner. But now, someone was trying to wipe her out of existence. Not just anyone, but her own family. She had nobody.
Except for Ava.
Ava had kept everything from her. Yet, no small part of her wanted Ava’s comfort, now more than ever. Because from the moment Tess had gotten into that car, Ava had been her rock in an uncertain world where unknown forces hounded her.
Tess knew who those forces were now. And that knowledge hurt more than any secrets Ava had kept from her ever could.
But Tess didn’t have the will to seek her out. She didn’t have the will to do anything but lie on the floor and pray she would drown in the plush rug.
Tess didn’t know how long she lay there for. She was barely aware of the passing of time. She was barely aware of anything until she heard a knock at her door.
“Tess? Are you still awake?”
Ava. Her cool, velvet voice had never sounded sweeter.
She knocked again. “Tess, I know you wanted space, but I need to make sure you’re all right. I’m coming in.”
Ava waited a few seconds before opening the door. It was only when she was inside that Tess realized how pathetic she must have looked, curled up in a ball on the floor.
“Oh, Tess.” Ava lowered herself to her knees beside her. “I’m so sorry.”
“This just doesn’t feel real. It can’t be real.” A tremor shook her whole body. “My entire life, I’ve struggled through everything alone. I thought I had no one. I secretly wished that I had a family out there who would find me, take me in, give me everything I never got to have. And now I find out that I do have a family, but they despise my existence so much that they want me dead!”
Something stabbed inside Tess’s stomach. She was still shaking. She couldn’t stop.
Ava reached down and cupped Tess’s cheek. That was all it took. Sobs wracked Tess’s body, all the tears that had been building up inside erupting from her.
She curled up even tighter. “Why? Why is life so cruel? When does it end?”
Ava stroked Tess’s hair gently. “I’m sorry. I should have protected you from all this. I should have found you like I promised, should have given you a better life. I can’t change what’s already happened, but I promise you, from now on, I’ll do my best to protect you from pain. I’ll give you all the things you should have had. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you from hurting.”
But Tess barely heard her over the dark thoughts spiraling through her mind. “Is this all because of who I am? Everything I’ve been through… is it all just life’s way of punishing me for existing? I’m the bastard child of a family that’s as rotten as they come. You said so yourself. My dad. My grandmother. They’re rotten. And I have that same blood running through my veins. What if I’m just like them?”
“Tess. Look at me.”
Ava took hold of Tess’s shoulders, pulling her upright. Tess dragged her head up to face Ava. What she saw in Ava’s eyes—the intensity, the fire—made her heart skip.
“You are not Marcus,” Ava said. “You are not Julie. They may be your blood, but they are not your family, and they never were. You are nothing like them. You’re a good person, with a kind heart, just like your mother was. Do you understand me?”
Tess nodded.
“Don’t just nod. Tell me you understand.”
“I… I do. I understand.”
Still on her knees, Ava gathered Tess in her arms and held her close.
“You don’t deserve the life you’ve been given,” she whispered. “You deserve good things. You deserve everything your heart desires. And I’ll make sure you get it. I’ll take care of you, Tess. The world is a cruel place, but I’ll protect you from it all. All right?”
Tess nodded. Although she’d stopped sobbing, her tears kept on falling. Why did Ava’s words fill her with such emotions? Was it the idea of having someone who cared for her for the first time in as long as she could remember?
But it wasn’t merely an idea. From the moment she’d walked into Tess’s life, Ava had protected her, taken care of all her needs, kept her safe. Could it be that, for once in her life, she had someone to rely on, someone to call her own?
Could it be that for once in her life, she wasn’t alone?
Ava took Tess’s face in her hands and kissed her tear-covered cheeks, one after the other. Warmth swelled in Tess’s chest. She had always seen Ava as distant and cold. But beneath that facade was a softness, a gentleness.
“You’re cold,” Ava said. “And it’s getting late. Let’s get you into bed.”
Tess nodded. Ava drew her to her feet and pulled back the bed covers. Tess slipped into them gratefully. Had they always been this warm and soft?
She looked up at Ava. “Will you stay with me?”
“Of course.”
Despite the late hour, Ava was still in her clothes for the day, her usual outfit of a simple black dress and heels. She kicked off her shoes and slid into the bed, drawing the covers over them and pulling Tess into her arms.
As Tess snuggled against her, Ava kissed her on the forehead. The next kiss fell on Tess’s lips, tender and gentle. A murmur rose from Tess’s chest. No one had ever kissed her like this before.
Ava had never kissed her like this before.
And like every other time Ava kissed her, Tess wanted more. The only difference was, tonight, she didn’t want Ava to pin her down, tie her up. She didn’t want them to lose themselves in lust.
She didn’t want to surrender her body. She wanted to surrender her heart. And she wanted Ava to do the same.
She deepened the kiss, wordlessly pleading with Ava to give her what she needed. Her hands traveled down Ava’s body, tentatively at first, then more deliberately, sweeping along the exposed skin at her neck and collarbones, roaming over the curves of her breasts and the dips of her waist through the smooth, soft fabric of her dress.
