The Change: Episode one, page 7
Controlling myself, I dropped the ruined utensil into the garbage bin and got a new one, saying nothing. It was good the apartments were equipped with double and sometimes even triple of everything. It came in handy when anger was the most common emotion in the population. As for Daniel, I would do the best I could with what they had left me.
The eggs were done before he found the courage to retake his seat. I set his plate and cup on the counter and stood with my own, a few feet back. Seeing I wouldn’t be as close as right over the narrow ledge, he sat down again, body tensed for flight.
I ate and drank in silence, not appearing to be aware of anything but my own food, and subtly watched him shovel the scalding eggs into his mouth like he was starving… was he?
D
I couldn’t stop staring at her while I enjoyed the treat. Without the blood to hide her beauty, I was shoved into a situation I’d never experienced. I’d expected to submit to my new owner like I’d been taught, but the sight of that tattooed body had me a bit uneasy for reasons I understood all too well after my training. I might…enjoy this one. I had spent years in the programs before being pulled out, and never once had I been attracted to any of the females I’d been forced to satisfy. I also thought I might have seen her before. There was something about that profile…
She met my stare, and I quickly dropped my head, but not before seeing her reaction to my obedience. The others hadn’t wanted me to make eye contact while they used my body, it was a Network standard for males to be submissive at all times, but this one was different. I could see that, but to what extent? Did she want a real mate? Children and a family like I did?
That was what the Den Mothers had tried to convince us of, but I’d learned it wasn’t true of any of those I’d met. We were sexually abused, slaved out to the Changeling masses with death as our only alternative. Did the outside world know how awful it was to impregnate a stranger and then never get to see that child or even know if it lived? Did this brutal woman? Did those things matter to her?
The heavenly scent of eggs overwhelmed the soap and dirt of our bodies as the tension thickened. I loved eggs. They were my favorite and always on my list when I received a meal of choice. How had she known that? I stared back, trying to puzzle it out. Did she research the bachelors? Was that how she’d picked me?
This violent female was exciting… and terrifying. Those gentle hands that could break an egg without shattering the shell could snap my neck. I respected her for it, for the lethal strength in her slender body, and I wondered at her control, her reasons for even playing. From the reports, she was rich. Why hadn’t she just bought a mate?
C
The second batch of eggs was done and I got a clean plate from the wall. Daniel had scraped every morsel from the one in front of him as he watched me.
He tensed when I turned, but stayed put as I carefully removed the old one and replaced it with a larger plate. His face wrinkled in suspicion and then confusion, before his mouth opened.
“Thank you…”
I nodded, but didn’t respond. I went back to my sawdust-tasting food with need flaring hotly in my gut. His voice! It was the sound of angels and devils in perfect harmony, tempting me…
He abruptly shoved the plate away, grimacing, and I looked toward the untouched cup. “The milk will help settle it.”
He didn’t notice the too-sweet taste and I watched him gulp it down with flat, black eyes. A very mild sedative, it would keep him from jumping so much and maybe let him sleep.
“You’ll be on the couch tonight.”
The words brought instant relief, and in it’s wake, confusion. I could see that he wanted to ask why we wouldn’t share a bed, and I both longed for him to and wished he wouldn’t. It might all be over if I had to explain it.
He didn’t question me, and I gestured at the steamy room I’d come from. “Clean up if you like. There’s a robe hanging on the back of the door.” My voice lowered into an edge of anger. “And a medical kit in the cabinet.”
He immediately moved off to do what I’d suggested, and I watched him until he was out of sight, thinking of all the times I’d envisioned this moment, this feeling. Reality was a patch over a small part of the gaping wound in my heart.
Knowing he wouldn’t disobey me, I left the mess for the Network cleaners and crawled onto the room’s only couch-bed. I slid back to lie along the seam of the cushions, making it clear where I wanted him, and fell into a light doze almost immediately. It had been a long week.
D
She was on the couch. I’d assumed too much. Covered in only a silken blue robe, I felt very unprotected and stayed in the doorway. After seeing her matches, I held little hope she wouldn’t wake up when I climbed onto the secondary bed.
I tried to be reasonable. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t done this before… or been hurt before. I just didn’t like the fear and the pain, and the dirtiness that I knew were waiting for me afterward. Under it all, the familiar longing to know why I’d been given to the Network, why I was forced to live this way, burned hotly.
It was too quiet. I realized it with a start and understood she was awake. A shudder went through my legs, and I made them move. Better to get it over with. If I had real courage, I’d drop the robe before I got there and push her over the edge, make her use the drugs when I couldn’t satisfy her. I’d done it a couple times with Changelings who’d rented me, when I wasn’t able to stand what they wanted to dish out, but I sensed it might backfire with this one. In the two minutes it took the drugs to work, she might snap.
It happened sometimes, new Changelings who bought or won a mate and accidentally killed them during the claiming. Would she be one of those? Candice was easily the most violent contestant I’d ever seen. It was why I held such fear.
Looking down at her relaxed face, I felt something other than the usual terror of what was about to come, but the sound of her voice stopped me from examining it.
“Daniel.”
Her tone said I was wasting her patience, and I slid onto the couch without waiting any longer.
C
He stayed on the edge, as far from me as he could get. The milky drops would start working soon… only I wasn’t going to wait, I couldn’t. Being careful of his now-bandaged arm, I placed a hand on his damp skin and pulled him closer as gently as I could manage. The feel of his tense hip against mine began to make it final. I had what I’d come for, and it hadn’t cost my life or even a limb.
Only some more of my humanity, I thought, rolling over to enfold his terrified frame into my arms. Daniel would help keep back the fiery darkness that threatened to consume me, and I would return his identity to him. Together, we might even find some measure of peace.
He never really thawed against me, just went out all at once, and I allowed myself to stare then. In a few days, we would head for the Pruett homestead, but due to the mandatory verification period, we couldn’t leave as soon as I would have liked. Not that it would have mattered. He wasn’t ready to be in public with me yet.
I drifted off wondering about his reaction to my home. It was his now, too, but it had been before, as well. Would he recognize the neighborhood or the evil people who’d sold him into the Games? I was asleep before I could venture a guess.
Chapter Seven
C
He flinched away from my heat the instant his eyes opened, then stilled as he realized I was awake…watching.
We’d moved closer during the night, so much that I could feel his erratic breath on the arm I had curled over his wide chest. The couch under us trembled as he waited fearfully.
“I won’t hurt you.” Calm, even tones that didn’t hint at the hunger beneath, as I saw him fresh from my bed. “You’ll figure that out in time.”
I put my head down, closed my eyes… reluctantly withdrew my arm. His indecision was clear, and it took a long moment before he gathered the courage to move from my side.
Thud! “Sorry!”
His fast apology had me trying not to frown. I would have to shove some spine back down his throat. Males had that base urge torn from them by the Network, but the true instinct of a man could never be erased. My Daniel was still in there. I just had to let him out.
Slam! “Sorry.”
Need, sharp and sweet flooded me, and I forced myself back into sleep. He was mine. There was time.
D
I listened to her heavy snore with a slight smile that surprised me. She was so quiet when she moved and during her matches, that her noise had made me jump and duck for cover before I’d realized what it was.
Snorttt…
I flinched again and shook my head. It was easy to tell I hadn’t been around women much recently, and I straightened my shoulders as I moved toward the washroom. While I showered, I went over my rules for surviving a Changeling.
One: Don’t make eye contact…except she wanted me to. I struck that one from the list.
Two: Be careful of smells. Changelings were drawn to good scents and I moved my hand away from the sweet-smelling soap to use the plain bar on the rack. She’d left a hair on it from her own wash, and I quickly picked it off and rinsed it down the drain. Gross.
Okay, where was I?
Three: Keep all exposed skin covered. I’d broken that one last night with the robe, but I didn’t have any other clothes, and there was no way I was putting my jumper back on until it was clean. I frowned, moving on.
Four: Keep them well fed and in comfortable temperatures. Five: Never refuse… anything. Six: Try to distract them when their eyes flicker. Seven: Attack them before they can attack you.
That one had me blushing as I rinsed off. I’d taken the lead like that twice, and it had worked well. Changelings had a very short fuse. If you could get it to burn down quickly, they were blasted with relief and not such a danger anymore. I’d even once seen a Changeling cry, but the easiest way to cool the fire was through physical contact.
My body stirred at the thought. Candice was familiar to me for some reason, and she had amazing control. As long as I followed my own rules, I would probably be fine. Back to it, I thought, stepping out to grab my jumper and toss it into the suds for a wash.
Eight: If the pain gets too bad, make them snap and get it over with by responding as if willing. The medics are very skilled. Nine…
C
I woke hours later to find the room softly lit against the darkness, fragrant with smells of cooking meat, and a genuine smile came to my face. Our lives could begin soon… That second, familiar grin curved my lips into the merciless expression I was known for. Right after I took care of one little thing.
“Would you like to eat now?”
Tremors shook his stunningly enticing voice, and I shook my head, looking around alertly as I stood up. “I’ll wash first.”
“I ordered a new robe for you.”
“Have you bathed?”
His nod was quick; worried I’d be upset at his waste of water by showering twice.
“Good. I like cleanliness.”
At my words, there was a relieved edge to his face that I wasn’t sure about. I placed it as I scrubbed off another layer of the week’s battles. I’d bothered to tell him something personal, something he could use to please me. Did he want that for his survival, or did he long for the life everyone now thought we would lead? There were other questions I needed answers to as well, and I would have them before long, but for today, I wanted to see what he knew about the Ring. The one the Network paid so well to keep a fresh supply of males flowing through the Games… the ones who had taken what was mine.
That thought had me angry as I stepped from the room, but the sight of Daniel in that robe replaced it with a flare of hunger that I knew was terrifying. It had him stumbling back into a corner of the room, but I couldn’t help the need. He was so beautiful! His bare feet were big and noisy, ankles covered in hair, as were his forearms. Arms that were trembling. Anger rushed through me again, as violent as any I’d felt during my matches. I controlled it even as I fed it. Someone would pay, blood would spill for what had been done to him.
“There are clothes for you in my kit!” I heard myself snap and winced inwardly, but didn’t pull it back. The anger would keep me steady and allow me time to reach him before I took him.
I spun back into the washroom at that thought, my eyes no longer flat black. The Change was a torment dealt with daily for the last five years, and as a level two, I had more control than many of my family and neighbors. The Change had five stages, but only three of them were common. First was the start, the uncontrollable need to spill blood. After that, learning to master the violence as it intensified. Few got to this point because of how strong the Change was once it started. The third stage was where my Mother was – burned-out. I shoved the image away in revulsion. That, I would never be!
The fourth stage was burn-up and usually included snapping and killing whoever happened to be around. I almost liked that one. It was infinitely better than having no fire left at all, but there was also a fifth, legendary stage that no one I knew had ever achieved. The disease went into remission. No one knew for sure what combination of environment, diet, and daily life might accomplish it, but that was the goal for my future, not the sparkless female calling herself my parent. But for our bounty runs, I would have no use for her at all.
Daniel was covered in the new clothes before I emerged, my eyes once again darker, but the trousers and sweater were no better than the robe. The soft material clung to his body, outlining thick arms that I needed to make use of. My expression must have been bad because Daniel raised a hand to protect himself.
The need and the rage slapped at me, but for once, the side that hardly ever saw the light of day flew out of my mouth first. “You look very nice. Blue suits you.”
Daniel blinked, not expecting a compliment, and I moved to the set-and-waiting table without smiling. “Let’s eat.”
D
She didn’t like the way I’d been treated. Knowing that was another relief, and I gave her a shy smile as our eyes met over the candlelight. I wasn’t ready to be taken yet, but what was a good dinner without good atmosphere? I’d wanted to play a bit of sound as well, but I knew better than to attempt it. Music was sometimes another of those dangerous triggers, like our voices.
“Do you pray?”
I looked at her in shock. “Of course!”
She indicated for me to go ahead, and I bowed my head dutifully. “Thank the Network for the food and the air and the…”
I felt her sudden wave of rage and froze, waiting to be punished. I’d said it so many times that the words often rolled out without feeling. Maybe she didn’t think I meant…
“Do you know of God?”
Now I was confused. That’s who I’d be praying to, but I instinctively kept that information to myself as I shook my head. “Who?”
Flames flashed up, and I watched her shove them back with a wall of determination that I more than admired.
“We’ll cover it later.”
Her eyes went to the camera in the top corner of the room, and I understood it was something the Network wouldn’t like. I slowly went back to the food, not sure why she’d gotten upset. And who was this God? Was she like the Network? I had no idea how the outside world worked. I hadn’t been trained for that.
C
I hadn’t realized that the Network denied the bachelors even a basic knowledge of their origins, and it was a struggle not to set him straight. The Network was far from God, and I was mortally offended by their insistence to these men that they were. Once we were out of this bug-infested place, I’d make sure his retraining included religion and the wonders of creation. He needed to know where he came from and the proper ways to worship in this new world. When the Pruetts sat down to a meal, we offered no thanks or requests, only an apology for the sins of the previous generations.
The food was excellent, but the way Daniel kept checking for my approval had me scowling and him cringing. So far, he’d done little in his own thoughts to please me, but until he could help tone down this fiery heat, his emotional state would have to wait.
“I need to know some things you won’t want to talk about.”
He nodded fearfully, and I went back to my big bowl of stew. It really was very good, which meant we wouldn’t starve. Cooking wasn’t my skill… killing was.
“What do you remember about your life before the Network?”
His face crunched up in concentration. “Almost nothing. Just words I’m not sure are true.”
I spooned another heaping bite into my mouth and tore off a large chunk of the rough bread he’d obviously baked. It was something the Network kitchens couldn’t stock enough of. “I’d hear those.”
He didn’t want to, but wouldn’t refuse me. As he spoke, I kept my eyes on my bowl to prevent him from seeing my rage… my pain.
“I was sick for a long time. The fever took away the parts I can’t remember. They say I was… sold by my family.”
True so far. “Go on.”
His voice became a low rumble that had my grip bending the spoon into foreign shapes.
“They used to talk in the room, when they thought I was too ill to listen. They said I’m supposed to do something.”
He hesitated, voice dropping to a lower rumble I wanted to taste.
“They said I’m special.”
I raised a brow like I hadn’t known, but of course I had. He was mine. How could he not be unique? “Special how?”
Daniel flushed. “I have a genetic marker that’s different. They studied me a lot.”
There was a sneer to the words, a hint of the true emotions beneath. Perhaps there was more to him than just fear…
“What do you plan to do now that you’re free?”
