Nine Month Contract, page 33
Weeks Pregnant: 23
Animals on the Mountain: 10
Trista
“Don’t look at me like that, Sir Reginald,” I say, squatting down in the fresh straw I just laid out in his mucked-out pen. “You’re still my favorite animal on the mountain.”
Reggie snorts his reply and moves over to rub his coarse fur along my jean-clad legs. The pressure from him causes me to sit back on my butt as I laugh and submit to his affection. He rests his head on my thigh, and I rub behind his ears, causing him to moan with pleasure.
“I know there are lots of new animals around here, but don’t worry. You’ll always be my number one.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and Reggie’s head pops up, his face showing me he’s clearly irritated by the disruption of his snuggle time. I pull it out to see my sister’s name on the screen. If I was smart, I wouldn’t answer it. I’m already in a sour enough mood—I don’t really need to have her add fuel to the fire. But a strange part of me longs to hear an old voice from my previous life. Something familiar, dysfunctional as it might be.
“Hey, Vada,” I answer, stretching my legs out so Reggie can rest his head on me again.
“Are you knocked up yet?” she blurts into the line with a laugh. “Or has the mountain man cast you aside for someone else already?”
I sigh heavily. “Do you really want to know?”
“Of course. That’s why I called!”
I lick my lips and gird my loins as I hit her with the news. “I’m currently twenty-three weeks pregnant.”
“Holy shit!” she exclaims so loudly I have to pull the phone away. “Why didn’t you call me?”
I shrug to myself. “I’ve been busy.”
“I’d say!” she says, still sounding shocked. “So, to be clear. This is for the mountain-man guy, not an accident? Like you’re getting paid for this?”
“Yep,” I reply, ignoring the sick feeling that rolls through my belly every time I think about that lately.
“Holy cow, this is wild. You really did it. How do you feel?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and continue with the honesty. “I’m emotionally fucked, but physically, I feel pretty good. Other than I still haven’t felt the baby move, which is apparently weird, but everything checks out okay.”
“Why are you feeling emotional? Do you not want to give up the baby or something? Can you even do that?”
A knot forms in my throat as I consider those questions. “I mean...there are clauses in my contract that protect me and what I want, so ultimately, I do have some choices. But the baby is his. It belongs to him. And it will be way better off with him than with me anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.”
“Why do you say that?”
I bark out a laugh. “Because I’m completely fucked up.”
“In what ways?”
“In all the ways, Vada!” I exclaim, irritated that she’s acting like this is news. The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve learned that having parents leave their children home alone for weeks on end isn’t typical. Not even close. “I don’t know what it’s like to be a part of a normal family, let alone start one of my own. I don’t even know how to be in a relationship. How you got married to someone is beyond me. You must be way less fucked up than I am.”
“Oh, trust me, I’m fucked up. Mom and Dad did a number on me, leaving me to take care of you when I was just a kid. And clearly, I sucked at it because I left you just like they left me.”
My jaw drops as she says those words out loud. Words we’ve never spoken to each other. Honestly, my whole life, Vada made it seem normal for her to move away and start a new life. She acted like the fact that I was only sixteen was irrelevant. And I sort of believed that myself. When you have parents who are absent a lot, you grow up real quick, so figuring out my last couple of years of high school without Vada or my parents was just something I had to do.
“But girl, I had to go. I was no good to you the way I was. We fought all the time, and I was so nasty to you. I left because I was chasing something that could heal my anger. And Kai was it for me. He showed me more love in the first month I knew him than Mom and Dad did our whole lives. They were irresponsible and selfish and crazy and kept thinking they’d find the meaning of life in religion. And maybe they did. I haven’t heard from them in years, so maybe that means they’re happy. I don’t really give a fuck, though, because I’m happy. I found the meaning of life with Kai. And maybe with food too.” She laughs casually. “You should see my pantry. It is full of all the snacks we used to drool over at the grocery store and could never afford.”
My chin wobbles as my sister reveals more of herself to me in one phone call than she has in the ten years she’s been gone. I glance down at Reginald snoring on my lap and look out at all the other animals, tucked safely in their pens. A horse, a heifer, a goat, a bunny, chickens, a pig. I want all of them forever and so many more.
“I cope with animals,” I tell her softly, my eyes welling with tears.
“But are animals really enough?” she asks seriously. “Seems kind of lonely to me.”
“Animals can’t disappoint me the way humans can,” I reply honestly.
“Well, preferring loneliness over rejection or disappointment won’t work forever. You’re hurting yourself under the guise of protection, but it makes no sense because all you’re doing is literally hurting yourself. It’s a pointless cycle. And you’re missing out on life, girl. Being human. Having human experiences and splashes of pain. I never went to therapy for this. Probably should have. I could word all this shit better, but Jesus, Trista, we didn’t go through our shitty lives just to turn into scared little pussies. If you want more, you have to take it because no one will give it to you.”
Tears spill down my cheeks as I think of the exception to that comment. Wyatt has given me so much—a home, a bed, daily breakfasts...himself. He’s constantly giving, and I’ve been begrudgingly taking because of how utterly broken I am inside. And now he wants to give more of himself to me, and I just keep pushing him away to save myself from future pain. But being away from him, all I feel is pain. How did that happen? These feelings? And why did I lie to him and say this was only a job?
I hold my stomach, allowing myself to consider the possibility of more at the end of all this, and my thoughts are thwarted when a strange sensation rumbles through my belly. I inhale sharply and drop my phone as a tumbling sort of ripple that’s foreign and unnatural vibrates inside me. When I move my hands lower to follow the stirring, I realize what’s happening.
I move Reginald off my lap, ignoring my sister calling out to ask if I’m still there. Heart racing, I pull my shirt up to look down at my flesh, swollen more obviously now, and I nearly squeal when I see the vibrations reflecting on the surface of my skin.
“Holy shit...is that you, Goat Turd?” I gasp, awestruck as the motion stops briefly. When it picks back up, I can’t help but place my hands over it, savoring every second of it like my life has been in black and white until this very moment when I’ve been hit with a burst of color.
The flip-flopping is insane as this baby has what feels like a party inside me. It’s as if someone is rolling a textured ball over my belly but from the inside. The magical sensation causes a warmth to spread through me.
“You definitely feel bigger than a goat turd now,” I croak, the tears falling freely over my smiling lips. This feels like the most perfect gift. Like a private, wonderful experience that only I get to have. I could want for nothing for my entire life just for having experienced this miraculous thing.
I sniff loudly and say without thinking, “I can’t wait for your dad to feel this.” And that one sentence spoken out loud hits me like a ton of goat turds.
Chapter 43
Weeks Pregnant: 24
Animals on the Mountain: 10
Wyatt
“Calder wanted to parachute out of a plane and release a smoke bomb over the mountain to reveal the gender,” Everly says, squinting under the hot August sun as she sets a gender-neutral sheet cake on the picnic table.
“Yes!” Ethan cheers, swiping his finger into the frosting. “I want to go on the plane with Uncle Caldy!”
“My man.” Calder thrusts a finger at our nephew and then closes his hand for a fist bump that Ethan obliges.
“I said a low-impact reveal with a zero percent chance of damage to a person or property.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, already hating all the fuss happening outside of my home.
“Relax, Papa Bear,” Calder says, patting me on the back. “The reveal will be very chill, very calm, very boring...very...you.”
I exhale a small breath of relief but then glance around because this shower setup doesn’t look chill. Red checkered picnic tables are scattered in front of my cabin, with rustic wood slab centerpieces that I had to chop for Everly. She set Mason jars with baby’s breath on top of them and hung jars and floating lanterns from the nearby trees. A caterer delivering enough barbecue to feed all of Jamestown just left, and now I see a frickin’ acoustic guitar player setting up on my upper-level deck.
“Everly, is that a children’s inflatable playhouse?”
“Yes, but it’s totally chill!”
“You stuck to my guest list, right? Just our immediate family coming? Is that giant thing all for Ethan?”
She winces slightly. “Well... I invited a few more people.”
“What’s a few?” I seethe.
She counts off on her fingers. “Judy from the Mercantile is coming and a few of the townies, plus some of Max’s friends—that way, there are other kids here for Ethan to play with. And my friend Claire is coming with Josh and Lynsey, so their three girls are coming too.”
“Fuck me,” I grind out, hoping like hell the townies she invited don’t include the assholes we brawled with a couple of weeks ago. I already apologized to Judy about the fight, and she assured me the whole town was not wondering who the father was. But she did ask for permission to tell everyone about the surrogacy situation to try to tamp down the rumors. It’s small-town bullshit, but I said yes because I don’t want to give Trista any more reasons not to want to stay here on the mountain.
My plan is simple... I’m playing the long game with her. We’re only halfway through this pregnancy, so I’m going to use these next few months to show her that what we had was more than a sexuationship. I’m going to show her what being part of a family looks like. I’ll continue to show up for her with my daily breakfast drops. I’m even going to embrace the new fucking cow that suddenly showed up in my barn when we got back from the hospital last week. Honestly, if she wants to bring more animals up on the mountain, I’m game. I’ll take a flock of chickens if she needs that to feel safe with me. With us. I’m going to be her friend because I don’t give a shit what was in her past. I give a shit about what is in her future.
And in the end, if she still decides motherhood and family life are not what she wants, I’ll accept that. It will crush me. But I’ll have a baby I need to be strong for, and my family will be there for all the support I’ll need.
But damn, do I miss the hell out of her already. I miss watching her sleep and waking up in a stressed-out rush because she’s late for work. I miss counting the beauty marks on her face. I miss her excited eyes when she sees what breakfast I brought for her. I even miss her narrating what Reginald’s responses would be to all the questions she asks him while doing chores.
And I especially miss the way she touches her belly when she thinks I’m not looking.
I probably miss that the most.
“Do you think Trista will let the little ones ride Handsome?” Everly asks, jerking me out of my thoughts. “I texted her, but she hasn’t replied yet.”
“No pony rides, Ev,” I growl and turn on my heel to storm into the house to get ready. I need to hurry up so I have time to go down to the barn and warn Trista of today’s spectacle. It sounds like half of Boulder and most of Jamestown are on their way up to Fletcher Mountain, and I know that’s not what she expected. Maybe I can help her escape up onto the mountain on Handsome’s back. She can ride off into the sunset with his tongue flopping the whole way. It’d be a hell of a lot more fun than what this shit show is turning out to be.
When I emerge twenty minutes later, my jaw drops at the number of people spread out over my lawn and more cars driving up the lane. Kids are running wild, and Max’s friends don’t seem to be watching any of them. Cozy’s friend Dakota shoots daggers at Calder. Luke flirts with the guitarist up on the deck, and Max, Cozy, and my mom fuss over a pile of presents that have already started collecting on a gift table.
This is my fucking nightmare.
I spot Trista standing by the cake table, dressed in a yellow summer dress and looking like a dream as she holds a cup of what looks like some kind of punch. Everly chats her ear off about God knows what, and she looks wildly uncomfortable.
This is not a good start.
I make my way over, and Trista’s head turns as she senses my approach. Her eyes drink me in, giving me a look I haven’t seen from her in a while. A look that says, I’ve seen you naked and want to see you naked again.
Maybe my long game will be a short game after all.
“I’m sorry about the crowd,” I rush out and reach out to take Trista’s hand but stop myself, determined to give her the space she requested. “Are you okay with all of this?”
She shrugs casually, her coppery-green eyes glittering in the setting sun. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“This is a lot more people than I gave permission for. I should have warned you. Are you up for this? Are you feeling okay?”
“I had a nice big breakfast, so I’m feeling great,” she says and shoots me a tiny wink that I feel right in my gut.
I move to stand closer to her, but my pain-in-the-ass niece steps between us. “Trista, can I show you to your special chair?” Everly asks eagerly, causing me to frown at the back of her head.
“Special chair?” Trista shoots me a dubious look, and I shrug, feeling just as clueless as she is when Everly drags her away from me. I can’t help but follow because I have no idea what the fuck is happening.
I spot Calder standing next to the large oak tree in front of my home. Mason jars hang from the low-slung branches, and he leans on something covered beneath one of my mother’s quilts. As we approach, he pulls it off to reveal a stunning cedar chair.
“It’s a thank-you for the cat.” He grips the back of his neck and points back at his cabin. “I really appreciate all your help with her.”
“This is for me?” Trista asks, pointing at the chair. “Like...to keep?”
“Of course it’s for you.” Everly laughs.
“Here, try it out,” Calder says, guiding Trista by the crook of her arm into the seat like she’s forty weeks pregnant and breakable. My chest contracts at the sight of it because I know how much work he puts into his custom furniture, so for him to gift her something like this means he put in some serious time on it this past week.
“I tried to make the chair nice and tall because I read that pregnant chicks don’t like to sit too low to the ground.”
“I’m not really a fan of it when I’m not pregnant either,” Trista murmurs and sits down, her face nodding with approval. “Shouldn’t this be for your brother, though? It’s his shower. He should have the special chair.”
“We’ll get to him,” my mom says from behind me, and I swerve around to see her, Max, Luke, and Cozy all standing there with gifts in their arms. “But we wanted to do a little something just for you, too, before the party started.”
Panic descends over me as they set the presents down one by one next to a shocked-looking Trista. This was not a part of my plan. This is the exact opposite of my plan.
“You guys, if this is baby stuff, I really don’t want to open it.” Trista’s chin trembles, and I open my mouth to agree with her but am cut off by my sister-in-law.
“Just open the gifts, Trista,” Cozy urges with a laugh and grabs a gift bag off the ground. “Start with mine.”
Trista nervously pulls out a bunch of tissue paper to reveal a plethora of facial care stuff, including cleansers, creams, some fancy jade roller thing for her face, and some masks.
“Oh my God, this is amazing.” Trista smiles brightly up at Cozy. “And a T-shirt?” Trista holds up a tee that says, Animals Always Put Me in a Better Mood.
“My friend Dakota owns a custom tee shop. I saw that and had to get it for you. Maybe the three of us can do a girls’ night sometime soon and use those face masks.”
“Oh, that sounds like so much fun,” Trista says sincerely.
Calder clears his throat loudly and coughs into his fist, “Beware of Dakota.”
“Calder!” Cozy shoots a warning glare at my brother, who rolls his eyes and holds his hands up in defeat.
Trista looks puzzled, but the subject is dropped when Luke hands her a box. “This one is from me.”
With a bit more confidence, Trista rips open the paper to reveal a weird made-for-TV foot-warming-pillow thing. He nods excitedly as he says, “You put the beads in the microwave and then stick your feet in them.”
Trista’s lips turn down. “Wow, I didn’t know that was a thing.”
“I have one...it’s really nice, especially in the winter.”
She giggles softly and thanks Luke before opening my mom’s gift next. It’s two gift certificates for a full spa day at a place in downtown Denver. My mom smiles warmly. “You can use one now and one after the baby is born if you like.”
Trista blinks back her shock. “This is so generous.”
“And I’m working on a new quilt for you too, but that’ll be for delivery day,” my mom says, wiping a tear out of her eye.
