Ashley's Hope, page 6
part #4 of Burnt River Series
“You can’t go home? What—are you being exterminated or something?”
“No, but I can’t tell you why. Maybe later, but not now. It’s not mine to tell.”
“I see.” Josh wondered about that, but she really did look like she understood. “Well, you’re in luck. Tonight is Aunt Vi’s Bunko night, and her friend Gloria is picking her up in twenty minutes. I’ll find myself extremely bored and in need of something to do, so yes, let’s go out to dinner.”
“Hooray for Bunko,” Josh replied. He hopped to his feet, then held a hand out for her. When they were both standing, facing each other, he looked into her green eyes again. “You changed the subject,” he said softly.
“I did? What subject?”
“You asked me what I want, and I told you.”
“Oh.” Ashley looked away, over his shoulder, before meeting his gaze again. “I think I might want that too.”
He wanted to kiss her. He wanted it all the way down to his fingertips. Instead, he said, “Chinese or Italian?” He’d take this as slowly as she wanted—and he probably needed to go twice that slowly himself.
***
For some reason, it made Ashley nervous to know that Josh was sitting in the living room, waiting for her. She wanted to change the outfit she’d chosen, but she thought that might take too long, so she stuck with the blouse and dark-wash jeans she’d put on first. She didn’t know why she was so jittery—yes, she did. There had been something in Josh’s eyes when he’d asked her to come out tonight, something that beckoned to her on a level she’d never explored before. It was exciting and scary and made her want to run and hide.
Instead, she was going out for Italian food.
“I’m ready,” she said when she finally stepped out of her bedroom.
“You look great.”
Her mind was so flustered, she had to look down to remind herself what she was wearing. “Thanks,” she replied. “You’re going to love the breadsticks at this place.” Because that was totally normal first-date conversation, right?
Josh held the door open, and they walked out onto the porch and across to his truck. He moved to help her inside, but then paused. “Ashley?”
“Yeah?”
He rested his arm on the door of the truck. “Listen. There’s kind of this thing hanging between us, and I think we should just get it out in the open or we’re both going to feel awkward all night.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
He took a step toward her, studying her eyes. Then another step. Then he snaked his arm around her waist. She gasped, surprised, but she had no desire to pull away. He smelled like pine and sunshine, and she liked that smell very much.
Then he brushed his lips against hers.
Just a touch, like a feather, and then he stepped back. “Isn’t that better? Now we won’t spend the rest of the night wondering. We’ll know.”
“We’ll know?” She didn’t know anything at that moment. She was dizzy.
“What it would be like. And maybe you feel differently, but I thought it was pretty fantastic.” He pulled the truck door open at last and she climbed in, barely able to make the step without help. He’d caught her completely off guard.
She gave him directions to La Padella, her favorite Italian restaurant, and then concentrated on the road, on the fields they passed, on anything but him. She had no idea what to say.
“So, how about those Red Sox?” he asked after a few minutes.
“Hmm? Sorry, I don’t follow sports much.”
“Neither do I. Just wondering if you’d forgotten how to talk.”
“Maybe I did.” She decided to be totally honest with him. “That kiss . . .”
“Yeah, I know. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m too impulsive sometimes—I just follow the moment and don’t think things through.”
“No,” she said, holding up a hand. “I . . . I liked it.”
“You did? Because I would have guessed otherwise.” He glanced over at her. “You clammed right up.”
“I just didn’t know how to respond. You surprised me. But in a good way.”
“You sure it was a good way?”
“I’m very sure.” She stopped herself from picking at her nail polish. She’d mostly conquered that habit over the years, but during times of extreme stress, she had to watch it. “I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time. My last boyfriend was a photographer for a fashion magazine, and the magazine decided to keep him and send me on my way. He didn’t seem to care, and we broke up. My trust levels are kind of shattered right now where men are concerned.”
“I can understand why.” He glanced at her again. “And then along comes this guy who shows up on your porch at seven in the morning and just won’t go away.”
She laughed, feeling some of the tension in her stomach release. “Something like that. I do trust you as a person, Josh—you’re a good guy. I just don’t know if I trust that a relationship would work out, or that we’re ready for one.” She paused, remembering her promise to herself to be totally honest with him. “If you’re ready for one.”
“That’s fair,” he replied after a moment’s pause. “Just the same thoughts I’ve been having too. But I don’t know what it means to be ready. Does it mean that we’ve totally forgotten the person we were with before? That’s not possible, and so that means we never would be ready. Just where is the line, exactly?”
“Maybe it’s where you’re ready to move forward with someone new and explore who you are with them instead of hanging on to what was before,” Ashley answered, her thoughts going more into her own situation than his. After she’d broken up with Phillip, she’d thought she was ready to go it alone, but the truth was, her career had been tied to his, and she couldn’t go it alone—he’d been boosting her along. That was the truth behind her failing career—she’d never really had a career in the first place.
“Are you all right? You look like you went somewhere just now.”
She turned back to Josh and smiled. “I did. To Milan. But I’m back.”
“Milan? My brain never takes me anywhere that exotic.”
“Oh, don’t sound so jealous. It’s not as awesome as it sounds. You can have the same bad memories anywhere.”
“I guess that’s true.” Josh pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and cut the engine. “Here’s to the end of bad memories.”
“Isn’t that a toast? We don’t have anything to drink.”
“Well, let’s go inside and take care of that. Do they serve Italian sodas?”
“The best.”
Antonio, who had been at the restaurant since Ashley’s high school days, greeted them enthusiastically and showed them to a table. Ashley was disappointed to see that some of her favorites were no longer on the menu, but she was able to point Josh to the shrimp fettucine, which she remembered as being really good. She was in the mood for chicken.
“You said the report went well, but you didn’t tell me how the camping trip itself went,” she said after they placed their orders. “Were you able to talk Walt into going along?”
“I was. Or rather, I kidnapped him.”
“You did?”
“Yeah.” Josh chuckled. “Debbie packed him a bag and sent some food along with me, and I picked him up in the fields on my way to the campground. He wasn’t expecting it at all, of course, but I think it was a nice change for him. At least, he seemed to enjoy it.”
“That’s good. You seem a little troubled about something, though.”
“That falls into the category of things I can’t tell you because they’re not mine to tell.” Josh took a sip of his soda. “If I could tell you, I would.”
“I’ll trust that. Is there anything I can do?”
“I’ll let you know if anything comes to mind.”
Ashley decided to steer things back to safer topics. “So, how did all the Gray Wolf equipment test out?”
A light came on in Josh’s eyes. “It was pretty awesome. The tent was hydraulic, so it just popped right up—almost felt like cheating. Sleeping bags were nice and warm. The kerosene in the lantern burned out faster than it should have and the coating on the skillet wasn’t very good, but everything else was first rate. The best part, though, was getting out into the mountains with my brother. I can’t even remember the last time we did that.”
“Family connections are important,” Ashley replied. Her mind briefly flitted back to her father teaching her how to ride a horse. It was a pleasant memory, but it still brought her pain, and she’d rather not dwell on it. “I bet Walt had a good time too.”
“I think he did.”
Just then, the waiter brought their food, and they started to eat. That was good because Ashley was starving, but it was also bad because it allowed her mind to wander while she chewed. Her mother had always worried that something bad would happen to Ashley while she was out riding her horse, and yet in a horrible twist of fate, something bad had happened to Ashley’s parents instead. She couldn’t help but wonder if there was some kind of cosmic message in that.
“You’re right—this shrimp is great,” Josh said. “How’s your chicken?”
“Hmm? Oh, it’s good too.” Ashley realized she hadn’t even tasted what she was eating. She took another bite just to make sure she wasn’t lying. “Yup, that’s really good.”
Josh studied her for a minute and then laughed. “We’re both pretty out of it tonight, aren’t we? Walt and I headed home early, so I’m a little sleep deprived, and I think you’re kind of blown away by all your new business plans. I was going to take you to a movie after dinner, but I think maybe we’d better call it a night.”
Ashley instantly felt horrible. “I’m so sorry—I don’t mean to ignore you.”
He reached out and caught her hand, holding it until she met his eyes. “You’re not ignoring me. You’ve just got a lot on your mind, and truth be told, so do I. We can catch a movie another night.”
“You sure?”
He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, sending a fiery tingle up her arm. “I’m absolutely sure.” The smile he gave her, plus his touch, reassured her that he meant it, and she smiled back before returning to her food.
When he dropped her off at the house, she hoped for another one of those butterfly-light kisses, but instead, he gave her a quick one-armed hug and told her goodnight. That was disappointing, and yet she felt happier than she had for a long time. Funny how a guy could do that to her.
Chapter Ten
“Aunt Vi?” Ashley plopped what felt like an entire armload of papers on the couch and continued into the kitchen, but Vi wasn’t in there, either. That was really strange—at this time of day, she was either watching a game show with a sandwich or she was in the kitchen making a sandwich. “Vi?”
“In here,” came a weak reply, and Ashley headed for the bedroom.
Vi lay in bed, still in her pajamas. Ashley had been gone for several hours—how long had her aunt been lying there, needing help? “Are you all right? Do you need me to call Dr. Stone? Why didn’t you call my cell?”
“Your cell didn’t pick up, I decided not to bother Misty today, and no, I don’t need the doctor. I just need a little help to get to the bathroom.”
“Of course.” Ashley slid her arm under her aunt’s shoulders and leveraged her upright. Vi let out a groan.
“Did I do that wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“Honey, it’s going to hurt no matter what, and there’s nothing you can do about that. Now let’s get a move on here—my bladder’s not as young as it used to be.”
Vi insisted that she didn’t need help once she was in the bathroom, but Ashley stayed right outside the door just in case. She couldn’t help the waves of guilt that washed over her. She should have checked on Vi before she ever left that morning. She should have made some breakfast and gotten Vi situated and done a million other things differently. There was no reason for Vi to be left alone like that.
“I’m perfectly all right, and you can stop chastising yourself,” Vi said a moment later when she opened the bathroom door.
“How do you know what I’m doing out here?” Ashley retorted.
“Because I know you better than you know yourself, and you’re beating yourself up wondering how you could have done things differently. Point of fact—I have quite a number of emergency contacts programmed into my phone, and I know how to use it. I knew you’d be home soon, so I chose to wait. It’s not like I’d fallen and I couldn’t get up.”
Ashley chuckled. She and Aunt Vi had laughed and laughed over those commercials years ago, but now they weren’t funny. Now they smacked of more truth than either of them probably wanted to admit.
“Now that I’m up and moving around, I’ll be fine,” Vi said. “It’s just that some days, the transition from lying down to getting up is harder than others. And you need to tell me what happened in town today.”
Ashley helped Vi into the kitchen and poured them each some coffee, then relayed the good news. “The city’s going to send out an inspector or someone like that to check things out, but they said pretty much everything Josh said about the lane and the limited number of customers, so I think we’re in good shape. I’ve brought home a ton of paperwork, which will probably take the rest of my life to fill out, and we should be open for business by the time I’m eighty.”
“See? Way to look at the bright side,” Vi said. She looked tired, but even at that, her eyes still twinkled. “And let’s see. It’s Monday now, so Josh should be hearing about his new job. I think there are good things in the offing all the way around.”
“And what about you, Aunt Vi? Isn’t it time something good happened for you?”
Vi looked at Ashley with astonishment. “My dear girl, don’t you know that having you here is the very best thing in my entire life?”
Ashley felt tears sting her eyes. She couldn’t speak for a minute, but reached out and touched her aunt’s hand. “So, what are we going to do with you?”
“There never has been anything to do with me. I’m completely incorrigible.”
“I already knew that. I was thinking, what if I ran the salon by appointment only? That way, I’d always know when people were coming, and I could make sure you were squared away before I headed out there.”
Vi nodded. “That could work. I’d hate for you to lose any business you might get from walk-in clients, though.”
Ashley chuckled. “I don’t imagine I’ll get a lot of walk-in clients—we don’t exactly live on a street where people are liable to walk in.”
“Josh did, but not everyone is like Josh.”
Ashley pressed her lips together and glanced out the window.
“What’s this I see? Is my girl embarrassed?” Vi chuckled. “I think I’ve discovered something here. Ashley, are you developing feelings for our formerly long-haired friend?”
“That all depends. Does my heart beating faster and my face getting hot and tingles running up and down my arms mean I’m developing feelings? Because if so, yes.”
Vi outright laughed this time. “I’d say that you’ve perfectly described physical attraction, but what about love? It’s all that and so much more.”
Ashley played with the handle of her coffee cup. “The thing is, I’m not sure that I trust myself to know what love is. You remember Phillip—I wrote you about him.”
“Yes, I remember Phillip. And the way he broke your heart. The worm.”
It lightened Ashley’s burden to hear her aunt defend her that way. “After Phillip, I don’t trust myself to figure out what my feelings actually are.”
Vi let out a sigh. “Oh, sugarplum. Yes, you had a relationship that ended badly, but that doesn’t mean you can’t trust your feelings.”
“If we were really in love, wouldn’t we still be together?”
“If you were both really in love and you both worked at it consistently and put the other first in your lives over and over again, yes, you would be. But Phillip put his career first, and that’s bad news for any relationship. You can trust your feelings, Ashley, and you need to. But you also need to understand that things won’t always turn out exactly the way you’d hope—it’s a risk each time, but one you need to take if you want a chance at real happiness.”
Ashley refilled both their cups while she thought about that. “So I loved him more than he loved me.”
Vi shrugged. “Maybe. We could hook you each up to a Love-o-Meter and see if we can figure it out, but I’d say that all we need to do is look at your actions. You stayed by him, and he didn’t stay by you. It’s pretty simple. But look at you now, ready to start a whole new adventure without him. Your successes will be entirely up to you. Of course, so will your failures, but that’s just how the wheel of fortune rolls.”
Ashley chuckled. “How did you get to be so smart?”
“Well, I haven’t had a long string of romances and I’ve never been married, but I’ve watched a whole lot of couples come and go over the years, and I’ve noticed some common threads. Those who make it work support each other.” Vi placed her hands flat on the table and pushed up. “I need to walk around for a few minutes and get these hips limbered up if I expect to get dressed or do anything else worthwhile today. You think about what I said, and after you’ve come to the sudden, glorious realization that I’m right about everything, let’s talk about Josh.”
Ashley smiled. “Okay. Do you want me to walk around with you?”
Vi raised an eyebrow. “You want to be like the Victorian ladies and take a turn about the room with me? That’s quite all right, dear. I think I can toddle back and forth between the table and the sink unaccompanied, but if I get lonely, I’ll let you know.”
Ashley stood and gave her aunt a kiss on the cheek. “I love you. Do you know that?”
Vi squeezed her hand. “It’s a good thing. Now, best clear out of my way. Once I build up a head of steam, there’s no stopping me.”
Ashley listened to Vi’s slippers pad across the floor and back while she gathered up the papers from the city. She wished Vi had called Misty rather than lying there helpless. Then she chuckled. Vi might not have been able to move, but she was certainly not helpless. She didn’t have one helpless bone in her whole little body.











