Dungeon Crawl, page 20
Hearing Fallyn say it a second time didn’t make the news any easier to process, and watching Link’s expression shift to angry definitely made the situation worse. He fixed a glare on me. “No more bullshit. What did you say to her that made her leave?”
Nothing. I did what needed to be done. There was my reply. Easy. Direct. No emotion. “I fucked up.” Fuck, it hurt to say so, but the confession was also a relief. “I fucked up and I don’t think I can make it right.”
“Seems that way.” Link’s voice was tight.
I swallowed a lump of frustration and it lodged in my throat. “Not pulling any punches, huh?”
“No. I’m done with that. Tell me what happened between you two.”
Nothing complicated, but everything was wrong about it. “I told her she could stop pretending to like me. That the bet was done, she lost, and no one needed to play anymore games.”
Link dragged his hand down his face and let out a silent exhale. “You’re such a fucking idiot. No wonder she won’t talk about you.”
“You’re still talking to her?” The relief and jealousy were bitter together, like mixing the wrong kinds of liquor. Why didn’t you stop her from doing this? The question wouldn’t do me any good—I already knew he would’ve if he could.
“I talk to her every night, and I’d be talking to you too, if you weren’t being so fucking emo.”
I opened my mouth.
“You’re such a jackass.” Link talked over me. “I don’t spend time with you because one of us saved the other or because the sex is good—it is, but that’s not enough. I’m here, always, because I love you. Even though you’re an idiot, and there are days when you don’t deserve it, I love you anyway and I have for a long time.”
The confession stole my breath and my thoughts, and hurt in an entirely new way. I wasn’t sure I liked it, but I also loved it. What was I supposed to say in return? “I don’t—”
“In case there’s any question, you’re currently in the don’t deserve it box. Just because I love you doesn’t mean I’ll put up with your shit, but when you pull your head out of your ass and stop trying to fight the world, those are the moments when I know you’re worth it.”
I’d fucked up so badly. With Link. With everything. I didn’t see any path out, even if I said it back, nothing would be fixed. “I love you too, but I don’t know how to make any of this right. I don’t think there’s a way.”
The way Link gripped the back of my neck sent a shock through me, and I wrapped my hand around his forearm in response, digging my fingers in. He crushed his mouth to mine. This was power and strength and the rock I’d let go of, that I needed to grab again.
I kissed back hard, searing this moment and this stability into my mind, and pushing away the doubt.
“You know you don’t have to do this alone, right?” Link’s voice was gravel when we broke apart.
“I do now.”
“Idiot.”
I couldn’t help but smile. “Sometimes. But never tell anyone I admitted that.” Nothing was resolved, except I felt better than I had in days. “And I know I have to earn my way back in.”
“Not with me.” Link pressed his forehead to mine. “With Fallyn… I can’t say. If that’s what you did? I wouldn’t forgive you. And by the way, I’m not going to stop talking to her. I’d prefer if the two of you got along, but you can’t take her from me anymore than she can push me from you.”
“I think that’s fair.” I had no idea how I was going to make things right with Fallyn. Not after what I’d done. She was facing the same thing I was—losing everything she’d worked for—but I had no idea if she had a recovery plan.
I needed to think hard about how to approach her. How to…
Beg.
I was willing to do that to get her to hear me out.
That was how far I’d fallen.
Until I had those answers though, “Tell me what happened at work this morning. Tell me how we’re putting a stop to these crashes for good.”
“I have such a story for you,” Link said.
My anger was back, far more potent and with a better direction this time, as Link explained his theory that Chris was sabotaging our game. “Plus”—Link pulled out his phone, made a few jabs, and zoomed in on something—“I got Luther to look up Fallyn, to see if she was showing as nearby.” He showed me a map, zoomed in to the address level, and the image was of Loading Java. “Bryce has been over there most of the morning.”
“Is Chris still working?” This was something I could act on. I’d see those assholes burn for this.
Link shook his head. “No. We escorted him out. Had Violet kick Bryce out.”
Good. Just because I had to wait to be told I could have my job back didn’t mean I was going to let someone burn the place to the ground while I was gone.
I looked up to find Link watching me with an expression I couldn’t define.
Not that it mattered. The only thing I cared about as far as that went was that he was here. I hadn’t lost him. And I was going to do everything in my power to make sure things stayed that way.
I hadn’t been in game since I was suspended. Staying away had hurt, but being back was its own kind of ache. Link had refused to give me the information I wanted, so I went around him and asked Danny. He only helped me under the explicit condition that no one find out, especially Luna.
It was tempting to tease him about being afraid of a little pixie, but I liked Luna, and I was obsessed enough with Fallyn to do this, so I didn’t have any room to talk.
I found B1tchKw33n—bitch queen—farming resources on an isolated part of the game map.
The instant I moved closer to her character, she stopped her harvesting.
“Stay.” I’d hijacked her audio, too. I doubted she was going to be happy with that.
Fallyn’s familiar sigh echoed through my headset. “Puff96? Did you even try to hide who you were?”
“Nope. Not even for a second. Do you think they won’t shut you down for skirting the profanity filters?” I winced at the harsh words. This was the opposite of how I wanted this conversation to go.
Another sigh from her. “Breaking the game. Cheating. That’s what I do, right? Whoring around. Falling for the wrong guys. Is this what I have to look forward to every time I log into the game? Are you harassing me?”
“No. I knew you wouldn’t take my calls or emails, though.”
“That should’ve been a sign.” Her voice was tight.
Fuck. I’d screwed this up so hard. “If you don’t want to talk to me, I’ll go. You can even block me. I’ll take the hint and won’t make new accounts to get to you.”
“No offense, Puff, but you’re not the most believable person right now. It’s your game. You can find me whenever you want.”
Of course she’d think that of me. What had I done to make her feel differently? Her mistrust hurt as much as what I was about to say, and that wasn’t right. “It’s probably not my game anymore.”
Her silence should’ve been gratifying. “What do you want?”
“Not to fight. Not to throw shade or exchange insults or do anything like that. I want to apologize. I’ll tell you I’m sorry as many times as it takes. I’m so sorry.”
“Nope. Blocked.” She vanished from my screen.
31
fallyn
Hiding from Elliot felt like giving up, and I hated myself for not being strong enough to stare him down until he was the one who backed off. Even in digital form. I also hated myself for not hearing him out. And then I hated myself for giving this so much brain power.
Elliot was right, he had won. In so many ways.
But did he? He sounded sincere just now. His apology. It’s probably not my game anymore.
Why did I care? Why was I still thinking about him? Because part of me thought every cruel narcissist who stuck their dick in me could be healed?
Elliot’s not like the others.
Great. Now my own brain was taking his side.
When Link called me a few hours later, I was still chasing my tail about whether or not I was right to block Elliot and walk away. It was going to be obvious I was upset, but I answered anyway. I needed that comfort.
“Tell me what’s wrong.” He didn’t even bother with are you all right? Link had a way of seeing through the bullshit. Of understanding me. It was one of the things I adored about him. One of the reasons I was falling for him.
I wasn’t sure how to frame this, so I grabbed the simple answer and tried to keep the emotion from my reply. “I was in game today. I decided to try it again, under a new name.” Because I missed it. Because it’s not fair I should have to give up what I love because of this. “And Elliot managed to find me.”
“Fuck.” Link’s response carried a startling punch. “I told him not to do that.”
Wait. That meant… “The two of you were talking about me?” This might be a drawback to my please don’t talk about Elliot request.
“Yes.”
“Give me some context for the conversation?” That was something I shouldn’t ask. It wouldn’t help me feel any better.
“Are you sure?”
That definitely didn’t help me feel better, but now I needed to know even more. “Yes.”
Link made a series of soft clucks that sounded more like line noise than a person. “You know I love him, right?”
“I do.” That didn’t stop the words from slamming into me like a fist to the gut. I’d known pretty much from the start that the two of them were in love, and had no idea how they hadn’t figured it out.
“I told him. I finally said the words.” Link’s voice was quiet. Contemplative.
Was that ache in my chest what a breaking heart felt like? I was pretty sure it was.
“I’m sorry.” Link sounded like he meant the apology, and I didn’t have any reason to doubt him. “I don’t know how to put that differently, and you wanted context. But I also told him, the same way I’m telling you now, that doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”
I couldn’t handle this roller coaster of emotion. “Which is?”
“I hate that you’re gone. Talking to you every night isn’t the same as having you here, and I miss you desperately. Not that I would give these conversations up for anything. Never. I can love him and you at the same time.”
Did he just… Did I hear him… “Say that again. Not all of it. The important part.”
Link’s chuckle, his smile, threatened to engulf the jumble of emotions inside me. “I’m falling for you,” he said. “Some days it feels like I’ve known you forever and at the same time I don’t know if I can ever spend enough time with you. Maybe it’s too soon for I love you, but… I don’t think it is.”
The combination of emotions, the highs and lows, the muddy mess in my heart and mind, choked a giggle from me.
“What’s funny?” Link asked.
“Falling for Fallyn. From far away. It’s not really funny.” But I was laughing anyway.
“I love that sound, too.”
Damn it, I needed to ask him to stop. This was too easy. Too comforting. Too exactly what I needed. “What sound?”
“Your laugh. Since the first time I heard it.”
Unlike Elliot, Link was perfect. Which was its own kind of scary, but… He was warm, he was empathic, he was adoring, he was sweet. “What do you see in Elliot?” That was a perfect way to ruin this conversation, but I had to know. “Why didn’t you ever give up on him?”
“Because…” Link sighed. “Because I know who he is. I’ve watched him build the walls he hides behind and he’s still himself in that fort. That doesn’t mean I forgive him when he’s an ass, and it doesn’t mean what he said to you was okay.”
“He told you.” Did I dare believe it had been the truth? No self-important narcissist would take the blame for a conversation like that one. “Did he say something like I overreacted, or he didn’t know why I was so upset?”
Link frowned. “No. He told me he was wrong and he wished he could take it back. But I’m not the one he has to apologize to.”
“I don’t want to talk about Elliot anymore. Not that he’s off-limits.” Not now. “But I want to talk to you.“ And try to ignore that nagging question inside. That little voice asking if I should’ve heard Elliot out in the game. I was talking to the perfect guy right at this moment, and I still wanted another, broken one on top of that?
Selfish, selfish Fallyn.
Instead, I’d enjoy my evening with Link.
“Is asking about why you’re taking a break off-limits too?” Link asked.
Right. That. “No, but there’s not much to say about it. I just can’t right now.” My voice cracked.
“Okay.” Link sounded kind. “Do you want to hear a secret?”
I wasn’t sure I could handle anything else emotional. “Depends? Is it the kind of thing you have to kill me if you tell me?”
“No. But you do have to swear not to tell anyone.”
Now I was intrigued. “Cross my heart.”
“We signed off on Art’s spring festival costume designs,” Link said conspiratorially, and he moved his phone away from his face, to point at his computer screen.
“I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to show me those.”
“You promised to keep it between us, and I trust you.”
Simple words. The kind of thing people tossed around without care. Considering the man he loved might lose his job for breaking company rules, and that I was on his company’s most hated list, because of the kind of information I’d shared in the past… My heart soared as I put the pieces together.
And my awe rose with it when he showed me the designs. One sexy, one tough, both in pastels and with the kind of details even real clothes didn’t have. “They’re gorgeous.”
“Next time you’re here, I’ll introduce you to Adrienne. I think you’d like her.” Link was back on screen,
Next time you’re here. We were making plans to meet again. “I’d love that.”
“I wish you were here now.” Like that, Link’s tone shifted to something deeper. Huskier.
“Me too.” So very desperately. I wanted to talk to him face to face, and cuddle with him, and feel his touch, and so much more. Though I couldn’t have any of that, I did have an idea. “What else would you do if I was there?”
Link seemed to consider my question. “I’d take you to see the lights downtown. We didn’t get to do that.”
“The glimpses I saw from the convention center were gorgeous. I wouldn’t mind spending some more time there. What else?”
His chuckle was like skilled fingers gliding over me. “I can think of a lot of things I’d do to and with you, and only half of them involve clothes. What do you want to do next time you’re here?”
I wanted to feel closer to him, but I didn’t want to wait. Right now I’d give a hell of a lot to be wrapped up in him. Even if I couldn’t have it, maybe we could pretend. I fiddled with the bottom of my oversized sweatshirt, and embraced my boldness. “I like the sound of that no clothes thing. I’d spend at least a day in bed with you, learning what you mean by that.”
“I’m not super creative as a rule.” Link grinned. “I can strip you down, devour your body, and fuck you until you’re sore, but I’ll need your help with the details.”
“If I help you with those kinds of details now, it’s going to turn me on, and without you here…” I let the playful suggestion blossom on its own. “I might have to take care of whatever resulting urges I have on my own.”
“That sounds like a decent compromise, as long as I get to watch,” Link said.
I set my phone down a short distance away, propped up, and stripped off my top, leaving me in just my bra. “How’s that for a starting point?”
“I like where you’re going so far with this.” Link watched me attentively.
“What next?”
“This is your story. I’m along for the ride.”
I liked this so much. It was easy. Fun. Not the same as having him here, but pretty freaking good. “What do I get to see in return?”
“Hmm…” The camera shifted away from Link’s face and traveled down his body, to land on his crotch and the noticeable bulge he was stroking with one hand. “I’ll show you the same. You get to see what your voice and mind and sexy words do to me.”
“Show me.” Did I really say that? Yes.
He dragged his zipper down and freed his cock. I’d never been turned on by a dick pic in my life, but tonight, seeing him stroke his massive length, remembering how good he felt buried inside me as he stretched me out until it hurt…
Yup. I was completely turned on. “I’d love to have a taste, if I were there. Draw you into my mouth. Lick you like a lollipop.”
“I like that.” His voice was gravel. “One thing I wished I’d done more of with you was suck on your nipples. They remind me of bubblegum. I like bubblegum.”
I liked that visual. I stripped off my bra, leaving me topless and on display for his eyes only. Cupping my own breasts wasn’t the same as having him do it, but I knew now what his touch felt like, so I could imagine. I rolled my nipples between my fingers until they were red and puffy, and the ache between my legs pulsed so hard I’d have to give it attention soon.
“You know what else makes me think of cherries.” I winced as soon as the words were past my lips.
“What’s wrong?” Link was still stroking himself. Still letting me watch.
“That was a horrible line. Sounded a lot better in my head. I’ll edit it in post and replace it with something more seductive.”
He laugh-groaned. “You’re letting me watch you pleasure yourself on camera. It doesn’t get much more seductive. And if you were going for a pussy joke, be assured I’m already fantasizing about burying my face in yours.”
One-hundred points to Hufflepuff Link.
“This is making me so wet.” I had to redeem myself with something simple, despite his assurances.
“Show me,” He commanded. “Take the rest of your clothes off, spread your pussy, and show me how wet it is. Show me how you get yourself off.”
