Wed In the Outback, Volume 1, page 33
Her make-up was bold and dramatic—red lips, smoky eyes, slight blush—just how she liked it.
Only it felt all wrong.
She felt too made up. Too fake.
‘You look beautiful, Bambi.’
She turned to see Rose in the doorway, a glass of bubbles in hand, work gear still on.
‘For you...’ She lifted the glass and stepped inside. ‘It’s a non-alcoholic variety, that way no one will be any the wiser when we toast your engagement tonight. Thought you might like to sample it.’
She smiled up at her sister. ‘Thanks, Rose.’
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Nervous.’
That was honest at least.
‘Don’t be. All will be wonderful, I’m sure.’ Rose pressed a kiss to her head. ‘Now I need to shower else I’ll be greeting our guests in this.’
Eve’s smile lifted to one side. ‘You still look stunning.’
Rose laughed. ‘Now I know you’re lying.’
She turned to leave and spied the blue gown Eve had pulled out. About the only thing she’d brought from London that she’d get to wear. Aside from the dress she’d worn to Nate’s parents’.
‘Is that what you’re wearing?’
‘Yes.’
Rose turned back to her, the slightest quiver in her lips.
‘Rose, what are you...? You’re not...’
She wafted a hand at her face. ‘I’m sorry, Evie, I just wish they were...’
Her voice trailed off, and Eve knew where she was heading but didn’t dare.
‘I know,’ she whispered.
Rose smiled as she swept from the room, though Eve thought she caught a hiccup-cum-sob, the absence of their parents weighing heavier than ever.
Her gaze drifted to the journal still beside her bed and, without thinking, she crossed the room, picked it up with a trembling hand, willing her mother’s presence into being. Her love. Her bond.
Nate had faced his demons and spoken to his father, it was high time she faced hers...
Running her thumb down the gilded gold edge, she let the book fall open. Her mother’s handwriting, elegant in its long, looping style, filled the page. Word upon word blurring as tears welled.
The first entry was over twenty-five years old...
I write these words upon instruction from experts who seem to believe it will help. I write these words so that I might find my way back to my daughters, my life, myself. I write these words to commit to my circumstances, and to bend them to suit my needs, the needs of my girls, and the needs of my family. I write these words as I choose to flourish, and no longer to fade.
Eve’s breath shuddered through her. ‘Oh, Mum.’
She wanted to stop but made herself continue. To straighten out her head, she had to straighten out her heart. She knew that now more than ever.
In the pages, her mother’s version of events was laid bare. How she’d felt alone, trapped in her own head. She hadn’t been able to love Holt. Hadn’t been able to love her children. Hadn’t been able to love herself. Cold and detached. Disconnected and scared. Until finally she’d been diagnosed. Diagnosed and treated. And when the affair had come to light, her mother’s world had crumbled. Their love had been tested and found wanting. It had taken time and understanding on both sides to find their way back to one another. Time in which her father had to move on from Lili and her mother had to forgive. In her beautiful, evocative way, her mother wrote of her hope that one day Holt, too, would forgive himself. For they loved one another and always would. And that was the greatest gift of life—to love and be loved.
Eve sobbed into her fist, clutched the book to her chest. Understanding rocking her to the core. All those years Eve had hated her father, hated the lie she felt they’d both portrayed...when it had been no lie at all.
She was the liar. Marrying for all the wrong reasons when, inside, the truth was desperate to break out.
She looked to the window, imagined the spot in the hills where her parents were laid to rest and knew what she had to do—where she had to be.
Throwing on some clothes, she hurried to the stables and mounted Jade. She clicked her into a gallop as soon as she was able and didn’t slow until she saw the ancient flame tree. Its branches sprawling out at the peak of Prospect Hill, its orange-red flowers vibrant in the setting sun. Its base littered with wildflowers—yellow, reds, purples, pinks—a cacophony of colour that she’d never paused to appreciate before. The sign of life when life was no more...
She dismounted and took the journal from the saddlebag, led Jade to the tree and the two gravestones resting there. She sank to her knees, her ‘Sorry’ taken away by the breeze.
She swept her hair out of her face, clutched the journal to her chest. ‘I love you and I miss you. And I wish with all my heart that you were both here to guide me now.’
The wind whipped up around her, her hair stinging at her eyes, catching in her mouth.
You know in your heart what’s right. Trust it.
Where the words came from, she didn’t know...but she was finally ready to listen.
* * *
‘Evie, what are you doing?’
Rose accosted her as Eve kicked off her boots, tossing them into the mudroom.
‘I had to go and see Mum and Dad.’
‘You did?’ Then she saw the journal in Eve’s hand. ‘Jeez, you really do pick your moments, sis.’
‘I know, I know.’ Eve rushed towards the bedroom, Rose hot on her tail. ‘But I’m glad I did it.’
‘In that case, I’m glad too but your absence has been noted and your future husband isn’t looking too happy. I think he’s worried you’re about to run.’
Eve faltered in her stride.
‘I’m not planning on it.’ In fact, she was planning on doing the opposite. Whatever the outcome of tonight, she was staying indefinitely. Because the more she thought on it, the more she didn’t want to go back to her life in London, not the way it was, and certainly not to the job that hinged on the image of others. Selling falsehoods, bending the truth to suit...
And Garrison Downs finally felt like home again. She wasn’t ready to give that up.
She had ideas forming, ideas that involved making the old homestead her home—if they kept the station and her sisters were happy for her to take it on...
‘I’ll leave you to get ready.’
She nodded and changed quickly, freshening up her make-up, checking her hair. She left the room, following the sound of music and chatter all the way to the ballroom, where she was immediately set upon by every guest. All congratulating her on the news, most genuine, but others...their restraint bordered on hostile. The reason for the latter became apparent when Betty from the pub teetered up to her.
‘Don’t worry too much, darl, they’ll recover.’
‘Recover?’ Eve said, still getting over the last strained greeting. ‘From what?’
‘From your Nate being off the market.’
‘Oh...oh!’
‘You really are oblivious, ain’t ya, darl? All those loved-up pheromones doing their thing!’
‘Uh-huh,’ Eve said weakly.
‘His return has been the talk of the town, right up there with yours. All the mothers, the fathers too, were hoping their daughter would be the one to snap him up. As for the daughters, well, you can see their tiny broken hearts for yourself.’
She forced a smile. ‘Good to know the Marni grapevine is still functioning.’
Betty laughed. ‘Always, darl.’
The crowd chose that moment to shift and Nate came into view, his gaze clashing with hers and locking on. Deliciously sexy in a dark suit and skinny tie, hair immaculate, designer stubble too. She felt starved of him, her body aching with it. A week without sight and she wanted to feast on him for evermore.
He leaned to mutter something to his companion, though his gaze didn’t leave hers. Then he was striding forwards. Eyes ablaze with what, she didn’t know. Eve gulped. The epitome of Bambi caught in the headlights. Unable to move from the danger fast approaching.
He paused a step away. ‘Good to see you, Betty.’ Though his eyes remained fixed on Eve.
‘And you... And I’ll just leave you to—’ a wave of her finger ‘—this.’
Eve fought the urge to yank her back, wrinkled her nose. ‘I’m sorry I’m late.’
His jaw pulsed. ‘You’re sorry you’re late?’
‘That’s what I said.’
‘Not for the riding like a madwoman?’
‘You saw that?’
‘I saw that.’
Anger reverberated through his words. Anger that she didn’t understand.
‘You’re angry?’
‘Of course I’m angry, Eve,’ he said between his teeth.
She eyed the crowd around them, noticed the discrete looks being cast their way and stepped closer. Lowered her voice. ‘I was late. I didn’t plan on it. I went to my parents’ grave and I lost track of time.’
‘You did what?’
‘I wanted to make amends. I did make amends.’
His eyes flickered, softened, though the tension remained. ‘I’m glad you’ve made your peace with them, but, Eve, the way you were riding. I thought we’d gone through this. You can’t just do what you want, when you want, how you want. You need to think about the risks. You’re a mother now.’
His words slammed into her, his accusation too.
‘I can ride, Nate. When I was a kid, I could ride better than I could walk.’
‘And what if Jade had got spooked? What if she’d thrown you? Then what?’
A memory from her childhood flashed across her mind, a time when a snake had startled her horse and she’d ended up with a broken her arm. She cursed. He was right. How could she be so foolish? What kind of a mother would put her child at risk like that?
But she hadn’t been thinking. All she’d wanted was to get back. To him. To this. To find a way through it all that led to happiness, not more pain and regret.
‘I’m sorry, I—’
The chime of metal on glass rang through the room, the music stopped and the chatter died away. Eve’s heart fading with it.
George Harrington stepped up to the microphone as a glass appeared beside her. Rose. She mustered up a smile, for her sister and the room, and took the drink.
Nate placed his palm against her lower back and the contact pulsed through her. She glanced up at him. Wishing to see the same reaction in him and getting nothing. His smile, his possessive touch, all an act, a performance to project the happy couple. A lie.
His father’s toast was a blur, Rose’s too. The cheers and the congratulations landing on Eve’s deaf ears because all she could hear was Nate’s words. ‘You can’t just do what you want, when you want, how you want... You’re a mother now.’
And what did she know of being a good mother? What did she know of being a good wife too?
She was one of many women in Marni who’d set their sights on Nate, but she was the only one who had done it against her will. And hell, he could do better. He deserved better.
She forced herself to sip at her glass when the room toasted their engagement. Forced herself to smile and play nice when all she wanted to do was run. Run as she had all those years ago.
‘I think that makes it my turn to say something...’
Her eyes shot to his, heart in her throat.
Please, no. God, no. No more lies.
‘The moment I saw you, Eve, I knew there was something about you...’
He held her gaze as he directed the words at her but spoke to the room. And she was pleading with him. Pleading with him to stop. But his eyes...they were sincere...or was that an act? Was he putting that look there for everyone else but her?
‘A connection that caught me in its grasp and wouldn’t let me go. Your beauty, your intelligence, your wit, and your fire. Not necessarily in that order...’
The room chuckled and he smiled, taking her hand in his as he raised it up between them and dug into his pocket with his other.
‘I should’ve done this sooner, but it feels appropriate to do it now in front of our nearest and dearest—’
‘Wait, wait!’ Rose hurried out. ‘I need to video this for Tilly and A—everyone who couldn’t make it!’
Ana, she was going to say Ana. Eve gave her sister a smile, her gaze swiftly returning to Nate’s pocket, where his hand still rested, and she swallowed the wedge in her throat. Why hadn’t she anticipated this? They were engaged. There was bound to be a ring of some sort...
Rose held her phone out. ‘Go!’
And Nate chuckled, lowering himself to one knee, all charismatic and perfect, and Eve could almost believe this was real. Not a lie that was eating her up inside.
He pulled the box from his pocket, opened it up. An oval diamond shone out, dazzlingly exquisite but glaring in its meaning. She clutched her throat, eyes watering. Tears, more blasted tears.
‘Eve, I believe we were destined to meet that night in Marni, our lives taking a simultaneous twist that brought us back to our families at the same time. Our bond was instant and unbreakable.’
The bond was their child. Eve knew it. Nate knew it.
As for destiny, it was right up there with love. The kind of sentiment she would have denied, laughed off even, but not any more. It danced around her heart, teased her, goaded her. Broke her that bit more as more tears came.
‘This promise ring has been in my family for generations, an outward sign of that inner bond. Of love and its infinite longevity.’
‘But what if it doesn’t fit?’ she whispered and the people near enough to overhear chuckled. Not realising she meant it in the figurative sense. A ring representing love... Eve and love. She tried to force the two puzzle pieces together, and no side would fit.
Nate took the ring from the box, held her hand in his and said softly, surely, ‘We’ll make it fit.’
And with that, he slid it over her finger as smooth and as easy as breathing...
Breathing when she wasn’t in front of a crowd of people, her emotions rolling wild within her.
‘It’s perfect,’ she choked out and the crowd whooped. Nate swept her up into his arms and she knew what came next, anticipated it even. But nothing could prepare her for the brush of his lips against hers as he stole her breath and her heart in one.
‘Thank you,’ he murmured, so quiet no one else could hear.
Her lashes fluttered open, gratitude shining down on her.
Gratitude, for what? Continuing the performance? Not running?
The music started up again, the sound jarring her out of her stupor.
‘We should dance,’ he said.
‘Dance?’
It was the last thing she wanted to do. Too jolly. Too free. Too easy. But she let him sweep her onto the dance floor, let him guide their every move. So very aware of every place their bodies touched, so very aware of how fleeting every connection was, as if he couldn’t bear it, too.
Remember why you’re doing this, Eve.
Remember why he’s doing it, too.
For your family. For your child.
And still, she couldn’t shift the chill.
While the sham of a marriage ate away at her, the ring on her finger too, she should have been safe in the knowledge that this marriage couldn’t hurt her.
But that was before she’d understood her past. Before she’d realised that, for all it could bring pain and hurt, the only bond that truly tied people together for ever was love.
Without it, they had nothing. No joy. No future. No bond.
And she was already hurting. Deeply and unequivocally.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘GOODNIGHT, SON.’
‘Night, Dad. Sleep well.’
Nate closed the door on the guest room his parents were using for the night and made his way back to Eve’s.
He’d say he was relieved that the night was over, but his biggest challenge was yet to come.
A night in Eve’s bedroom. Alone. Nothing to keep this heat or emotion at bay.
They hadn’t slept together since Marni, hadn’t even kissed properly...save for the show of carried-away affection outside his parents’ house.
Not what he needed to be thinking of right this second.
He tugged his tie undone, unbuttoned his collar. He’d been so angry this evening, angry and fired up on something else entirely.
Stunning in blue satin, she’d taken him over the second she’d appeared. Everything about her accentuated by that dress—her hair, her eyes, her body—but there’d also been a vulnerability about her. A vulnerability that had fed his fears and compounded his alpha instinct—to protect, to possess, to toss her over his shoulder, take her home and never let her out of his sight again.
And it was laughable, not laudable, because she wanted none of that.
And now he had to suppress it all while they slept in the same room together.
What was he? A monk!
Cursing the impossible, he shoved open the door and strode in. There was always the bathtub... ‘Eve, I think—’
He froze, his head emptying out as the door clicked shut on its own momentum.
Eve blinked back at him from across the room, just as frozen, just as stunned. ‘Did you ever hear of knocking?’
‘Did you ever think to shout?’
‘Shout what?’ She thrust her hands up, a move he really didn’t need with all that skin on show.
‘I don’t know! Some warning!’
‘Like what?’
‘Like, hey, I’m naked!’
And naked she was, unless you counted the scanty piece of blue lace doing a very poor job of concealing anything below the waist.
She folded her arms, which only lured his eyes down. ‘You’re daring to take issue with my nakedness?’
