Strange Folk, page 21
“But this is my daughter’s life we’re talking about. This is bigger than that.”
“If I thought it would do something, I would do it, okay? This is just the stress talking. Why don’t you stay at my house, and I can take care of you and Cliff while you wait for news?”
“Fuck that, I need to get my daughter back.”
Dreama’s mouth flattened. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and reopened them with a resolute expression. “I’ve tried hard to support you and rebuild our relationship since you got back, but it’s clear you’re not interested in healthy boundaries and mutual respect.” She brought her hands together in front of her chest. “I hope the police find Meredith very soon. I will pray for you.” She walked away to rejoin the party.
Despair threatened to pull Lee under.
On her way out of the restaurant, she stopped at the bathroom. As she washed her hands in the spotless farmhouse sink, she smelled something familiar and brought her soap-coated hands up to her nose. Sage, and something she’d thought was whiskey but had never been certain. It was Belva’s hand soap recipe, though this version was sweeter and sudsier. An inhale of Belva’s version always gave her a sense of calm clarity. But whatever Dreama had added to it had neutralized the effect. She felt nothing but dread as she inhaled.
* * *
It was dark by the time Lee returned to the cabin. She’d lost another day.
As she paced around the kitchen, it felt like her insides were overheating. She tore off her sweater and the shirt underneath it. She sank to the cold kitchen floor in her bra and closed her eyes, willing it to pass. She heard her mother’s footsteps, and the thought of her concern, the richness of it on her tongue, made her want to vomit. She ran her fingers through her sweat-damp roots and tried to empty her mind and close off her senses.
Eventually, the nausea receded, and she opened her eyes. She avoided her mother’s gaze as she stood up and walked to the suitcase across the room and pulled out the jar.
Redbud’s voice came from behind her. “You gotta be sober for the spell to work.”
“I won’t drink tomorrow.”
Redbud came around to face her. “It’s gotta be now. Pour it out.” She hadn’t seen her mother this clearly defined in a long time.
“I still need it to finish the spell. I’ll use it tonight, and then I won’t drink tomorrow.” The liquor was the only thing that connected Lee to the power of the land, even if it was just a simulation. She couldn’t make it happen on her own.
“You don’t need it, honey.”
Lee ignored her and opened the jar. Redbud grabbed her wrist. “You wanted me to help, right? Well this is me helping.” Redbud’s righteous expression, the pity of the sober to the addict, made Lee want to punch her in the face. She refused to switch roles with her.
“You’ve been sober for what, a couple days?”
“I been using long enough to know when someone is lying to themselves. I’ll do it tomorrow. Just one more, and then I’m done. I know all the tricks in the book, baby. Now stop being stubborn and pour it out.”
Lee pulled away, went to the kitchen sink, and smashed the jar against the side, where the glass splintered and cut into her arms.
“I’m not fucking like you,” Lee spat at Redbud.
She didn’t flinch. “No shit.”
Lee deflated, knowing the decision had been made. She wouldn’t be drinking tonight. There was a relief in that, but also a terror. There were already so many factors working against her, and now she wouldn’t have this one thing that made her feel calm and inspired. It seemed reckless to rely on her own faculties when there was so much on the line.
Redbud told Lee to sit down, and she obeyed.
“I wish I could do more for you. Mama tried every remedy to get me to stop using and drinking. One time she made me eat boiled minnows.”
Lee gagged at the image.
“But this disease is too powerful. This is the only way I know how to get through it.” Redbud dropped a carton of cookie dough ice cream on the table, pulled off the top, and stuck two spoons in like stakes. Lee took one bite, and then another. She dug the spoon in up to the handle and unearthed massive hunks. The sweet, cold solid of it filled her like nothing else.
Redbud did the same, and they hunched over the carton together in the low kitchen light, a mother and daughter eating ice cream to soothe their troubles.
TWENTY-SIX
Lee came up for air late the next morning. She had worked all night in a shaking, sweating, sugar-fueled trance, crafting the spell and making sure each element would be ready. She had even found an old jar of Ruby Jo’s hair stuffed in the back of Belva’s stores.
They would perform the ritual that evening at sundown, life or limb.
But as the sun sliced through the room and the high wore off, she became aware of her sticky, sour mouth, the tremors in her hands, and the dread pooling in her gut like blood.
It’s not enough. It’s not going to work.
She checked her phone. There was a voicemail from a little after nine a.m. She listened to the lawyer’s clipped voice saying that Cooper would be taking temporary custody of Cliff after she failed to show up in court that morning. She looked at her phone screen. It was after ten.
Gravel plunked against the sides of her car as she flew down the road to Billy’s with her fists white-knuckled at the wheel.
Billy’s cabin was more simple than Belva’s. It was only one small box with cement steps leading up to the door, but it evoked the same feeling of being raised directly from the ground, no different from the trees and boulders that surrounded it.
She pounded furiously on the door.
No answer.
She wrapped her jacket sleeve around her fist and rubbed the dust from the window.
No one inside.
Billy’s truck was in the driveway, but it was possible he’d been taken away by the police. She knew there was nothing he wouldn’t do to protect his family.
She called out their names, but the trees were only still and creaking in response. She began to shake harder and tried to stave off the panic.
She walked around the property and searched for some sign of them. Billy’s chickens cooed from their small wooden house and his band of hunting dogs sat on haunches next to it with their ears perked. Something was wrong.
Lee heard a low howl coming from the trees. She froze and waited, listening. When she heard it again, she charged in the direction of the sound. As she ran blindly through the woods, the howl came again, and she traced it to a small deer stand up in the trees.
Lee howled back, and Cliff’s face appeared over the side of the platform. The sight of him made tears spring to her eyes. He climbed down, and she wrapped him in her arms.
Billy climbed down after him. “An officer rolled up here a bit ago with a few fancy boys. Your husband and his law-yer, I’m assuming.”
“What did you tell them? How did they let you keep Cliff?”
“I didn’t tell them shit. I got a camera rigged up at the turnoff. We had about five to get gone.”
Lee had never been so proud of her family’s ability to evade the law.
“Not that they could have gotten into the house. I got enough protections against cops to choke a police horse.”
She let go of Cliff and wrapped her arms around Billy. “Thank you.”
Billy’s expression turned serious. “How’s the search going?”
“I’ve been putting together this spell to get Meredith back, but I don’t have enough people. I don’t know what to do. Everyone is scared of us now.”
“You know you can count on me.”
“Thank you. I just wish we had more.”
“What about me?” Cliff said next to her.
“Iff, I don’t think—”
Billy laid his hand on her shoulder. “I know you want to protect him. But he’s strong, and he’s connected to the land. He could help.”
Lee saw Cliff leaping foot to foot in the trees with Meredith. She couldn’t deny he was a part of this place. But he also scared easily. What if he panicked in the middle of the ritual? Or what if it worked and the shadow creature came and took him, too? She couldn’t lose him. They might as well take her then.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen. It could get really scary. You might see the thing you saw in the maze—”
Cliff cut her off. “That’s okay. I want to do it.”
Lee was taken aback by this new steel in him. “Are you sure you’re not scared? It would make sense if you were.”
His expression hardened, and he hit the tree in frustration. “Mom. You’re not listening. I can do this. I want to get her back. Please let me help.”
Lee studied her son. She’d dismissed him when he warned her about the shadow and discounted his version of reality, even as she acted like the only person who truly understood him. He was capable and powerful, and perhaps the safest place for him was with her, and the rest of his family who loved him, while they tried to get his sister back. If he could help, she couldn’t say no.
* * *
That evening, Lee waited on the porch to see who would show. As the sunset deepened before her, soaking up the last of the sunlight so that the clouds hung heavy with pink, she finally heard the sound of a car coming up the gravel. Linda stepped heavily out of a sedan, and Lee craned her neck to look for other women in the backseat.
“Sorry, hon. It’s just me. Everyone else is too chickenshit.”
Lee put her arms around Linda and felt how solid she was in comparison. “Thank you for coming.”
Linda gently pushed her away and patted her on the back. “Of course, hon. I don’t scare easy.”
A familiar jeep pulled up next to the sedan. She’d called and left a voicemail on Otis’s phone but hadn’t heard back. She knew he didn’t want to see her anymore, but she didn’t care. She needed him.
He walked up to her with his hands in the pockets of his jeans and his shoulders hunched.
“You came.”
“Of course I did.”
They didn’t move toward one another, but she could feel whatever was between them filling the space. It hadn’t disintegrated; it was still there. Lee yearned to touch him, but she controlled herself.
Linda looked from Lee to Otis, then put her arm through his and pointed them toward the pathway to the clearing. Lee was left alone and anxiously peering down the driveway.
She’d nearly given up when another car came slowly up the road. Dreama stepped from the Tesla and took a deep breath, looking around at the cabin and the woods.
“I don’t think this place has changed in twenty years.”
“Dreama. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I know. But I couldn’t leave you hanging. Not with a child missing. If you think this is going to work, I want to help.”
“Thank you. This means so much to—”
“I know, I know. Let’s not make a big deal out of it.”
“Okay.” Lee grabbed a lantern from the porch and snaked her arm through Dreama’s like they were kids again, disappearing into the woods for an adventure.
The sun had nearly set when they arrived at the clearing. The circle of faces were amber and primitive, their features hooded and hooked in the flame and shadow of the fire.
Luann and Linda had arranged everyone into position. Otis looked uncomfortable, but he maintained his usual stoicism in the face of it. Next to him, Cliff watched Redbud with a curious, intent gaze. They had met only a few hours ago, and she seemed to fascinate him, as if he couldn’t easily discern her essence. Redbud stood anxious and rattling, and Billy gripped her hand tightly from the other side. This would be her first real gathering in thirty years.
Lee felt the absence of Belva as if the world was permanently altered by it. A cosmic, elemental shift in the nature that surrounded them. She felt a crude stand-in as she took Belva’s usual spot at the head of the group.
She pushed away the grief as Luann began with the land acknowledgment. She pulled lobes of chicken thigh and small quail breasts from a bag and placed them in a hole and covered them with dirt. She then took a jug of whiskey and a jar of honey and poured them into the ground. The froth soaked into the dark soil. She offered thanks and nourishment to the land and its spirits for allowing them to pull from its power and practice freely there.
Lee sounded weak in comparison as she came in with her part. “We have gathered to summon a shadow that has haunted us for thirty years.” She hesitated, worried it sounded too forced. It didn’t have the easy, earnest solemnity of Belva’s delivery, or the confidence of her mother’s. She made eye contact with Otis across the circle, and he wordlessly urged her on.
“Tonight, we ask the shadow to return to us, and to return my daughter, Meredith.”
Lee released the clasps of Redbud’s old suitcase and pulled out a glass jar filled with gray powder and one auburn hair.
She hummed low and frail at first, and then stronger as the others joined in. The sound began to weave its cocoon around them.
Leaves thrashed in the distance somewhere behind Lee, like a large animal was moving through the brush. The humming broke off, and everyone looked toward the darkness. Lee saw Billy’s hands moving toward his bag while his eyes stayed on the direction of the sound, and she realized he must have brought a gun. Redbud moved her body in front of Cliff’s.
Kimmie stepped cursing into the firelight with leaves tangled in her hair and dirt on her knees. “Sorry I’m late, y’all. As you were.” She took a spot next to Lee and motioned to Dreama to scoot down. Lee caught Kimmie’s eye to see if she was okay. It was clear from her half smile that she was not, but her eyes pleaded with Lee to go ahead.
Lee resumed her humming, trying to find the thread of it again. Then everyone joined in, and the cocoon formed more quickly this time, their throats well-oiled and now accustomed to its work. Cliff’s hum was a high and sweet flutter, like a hummingbird flitting over their heads, sprinkling shimmer.
Lee shook the jar and watched the powder coat the glass. She then passed the jar to Kimmie, who vigorously shook it and passed it to Dreama. Lee took her own black book from the suitcase and turned to the spell she had written.
She recounted her parents meeting and falling in love with the stories she had heard and witnessed. She put everything she had into the delivery, as if the force of her voice might imbue it with more power.
The jar was returned to her, and she put it in another small hole and buried it, attempting to make her movements reverent.
She slid a knife across her palm, and the blood dripped onto the dark earth mound. She closed her eyes and waited for electricity to pass through her, what she imagined power felt like.
But all she felt was the pain searing her palm and the warmth and connection of the humming cocoon. As she continued the spell, she glanced across the circle at Luann and Linda, who were giving each other concerned looks.
The power wasn’t flowing. It wasn’t working.
Lee cast about frantically for a solution. She was out of her element. It had taken everything she had to get to this point. Why had she ever thought she could pull this off? The shame that squatted inside of her, ready to be summoned at any moment, awoke and started to expand, threatening to fill every inch of her.
Then she saw her mother. While she’d been scared in the lead-up to the ritual, Redbud now stood firmly on bare feet, her black hair radiating from her skull, the triple-noted hum coming from her the most sonorous and vibrant of the group. She was truly in her element. This was where she belonged.
Lee held her black book out to Redbud and asked her to read. Maybe if she told her own story, it would have more charge to it. It was empty for Lee to recount someone else’s pain. Redbud hesitated, and Lee pushed the book forcefully into her arms. She wouldn’t let her off the hook this time.
Redbud finally conceded. She settled into the moment and began to read in a small voice. Her confidence built with every word. The birds in the trees wailed, the wind picked up, and the air charged around them like the moment before a lightning strike.
Redbud started to recount the moment when she first discovered her husband’s infidelity, and her voice wavered. She dropped the book and went to her knees with her face in her hands. The hum grew softer and the momentum slowed. The wind died and the woods went quiet.
This wasn’t working. Lee had to try something else.
She closed her eyes and focused on her feet planted in the earth. She couldn’t wield the power that glowed like ore beneath its surface. She could only open herself to it.
She took a deep breath, and against all instinct, let go of her tight control, surrendering to the wild unknown.
Her feet tingled. Then something began to work its way out of the bottoms of them, sprouting painlessly from the skin. The little roots furtively probed into the soil. She could sense them like spindly limbs as they moved farther down into the ground, branching deeper and deeper. Then they stopped.
There was only stillness for a few beats. And then, something. A heat flowing up from the roots. A prickling along the edges of her body. A sensation was building inside of her, the energy of it strengthening with each moment. The force of it like panic as the pressure became combustible.
And then there was only radiant, searing pain coursing through every inch of her. Every cell screaming.
She wanted to escape it somehow, to wrench her feet up and run away from this place.
Instead, she crouched inside herself and put her back to the pain. She told herself to focus.
Don’t flee. Don’t reject it. Listen to it. Use it.
She strained against its onslaught and searched for a path or a shape in the pain.
And then there was the flicker of an outline.
Someone was there. She could taste their pain in her mouth. Shotgun sulfur and strawberry jam.
It was a woman. Dark Buck hair. Olive-gold eyes. Lee was transported to the cabin’s kitchen, where she saw the woman mixing cornmeal and water. It was like when Lee had inhabited her mother’s memory—she hung there bodiless in the room, watching the scene unfold and sensing the thoughts and emotions of the woman.
